SATURDAY 23

Since that day, Mr. Taeseon did not return home for several days. A week passed like that, and on the day the first rain of May was forecasted, I went out to meet the Shaman. Just like last time, I received a salpuri [exorcism to expel evil spirits] and returned home, dropped off by the Shaman.

The sky was heavily overcast, looking ready to drop raindrops at any moment. The season was May, but the weather was cold, humid, and full of fog, much like a gloomy day right in the middle of March.

The moment I stepped down in front of the gate, humidity and fog, like being inside a fish tank, washed over my body. I shivered at the chilly moisture and said goodbye to the Shaman.

“Shaman, you’ve gone through a lot of trouble in this nasty weather. Thank you…. Can I offer you a cup of tea?”

“No, it’s alright. I have business to attend to right away. It’s cold, hurry and go inside.”

“Yes…. Have a safe trip.”

I watched the Shaman’s car drive away for a moment before heading inside the house.

Because it was so humid, the staff who managed the house had turned on all the air conditioners and dehumidifiers. Thanks to that, the tremendous outside humidity couldn’t be felt indoors.

I went into the bathroom. The moment hot water poured over my head, I remembered the first time I was caught by Mr. Taeseon while doing a salpuri at home. He had been furious and shoved me under cold water.

It was only natural, since Mr. Taeseon originally disliked the Shaman and the traditions of our household.

It took a long time to wash again because of the salt traces left here and there among my hair and on my body. There was that, and because today’s salpuri was held outside on a mat in the Shaman’s yard, my entire body had been soaked by the humidity, so I washed for much longer than usual.

When I came out after washing, Lili, who had been holed up somewhere, appeared at some point and endlessly rubbed her body against my ankles. I let Lili leave her scent until she was satisfied, then picked her up.

Her still-large head, indifferent face, slightly chubbier cheese-colored torso, and thick tail were unspeakably cute. Lili was already over 4 kg. I thought I had brought an adult cat home because I was told she was about 10 months old, but I kept feeling like she was still growing….

While being held in my arms, Lili groomed her face, and when I approached the cat tower, she jumped off and went into the clear hammock.

Lili’s playground, which included several cat towers, a cat wheel, and a suspension bridge, occupied two sections of the living room wall. They were all custom-made and arrived on the designated date. At that time, my arm hadn’t fully healed yet, and coincidentally, Mr. Taeseon was home.

Mr. Taeseon initially looked bewildered, then, as if realizing something, let out an “Ah,” before his expression grew increasingly gloomy, and he went into his room, leaving the staff who were in the middle of assembling the playground.

This was a playground I picked out with Mr. Taeseon. We set it up with plenty of time so the installation would be finished before our wedding, after Lili moved in. But since I died, it was no wonder Mr. Taeseon felt depressed upon seeing the cat towers.

Lili, sprawled like water in the clear hammock, let out a long yawn, flicked her thick tail with a thump, and then tried to sleep. Staring at the cat’s white belly pooled beneath the hammock and the four paws squished against her body, I slowly began to feel sleepy as well.

Come to think of it, I hadn’t taken my inhibitors since coming home. It’s an important matter; I can’t keep forgetting.

I hurried to my room, took out the inhibitors, and swallowed them. Shortly after, uncontrollable sleep poured over me, as if I had taken sleeping pills. Insomnia or drowsiness was also one of the side effects of inhibitors. Forcing my closing eyes open, I barely managed to crawl into bed and fell asleep as if passing out.

∞ ∞ ∞

I woke up to the sound of rain. But I couldn’t immediately regain my senses and suffered from sleep paralysis for a moment. It was raining. From far away, the headlights of a vehicle approached at high speed, and Inha….

“Heuk!”

I screamed and opened my eyes. My limbs, which hadn’t moved at all, twitched, and I put all my strength into bolting upright. The moment I did, the paralysis broke. It was a method the Shaman had taught me. As long as you have enough strength to sit up, you won’t be crushed by a mischievous ghost.

“Uh, heuk, haah…. ha….”

My whole body was ice cold. It wasn’t just because the air in the room was chilly. It was likely the chill from the ghost tormenting me, and the coldness brought on by my own mind.

The dehumidifier was running quietly, but the air in the room felt somewhat damp. It was as if I had stepped into a waterless cave.

Swaaa….

I flinched at the sound that suddenly reached me, overpowering the noise of the running machine. It was raining. Come to think of it, the sound of rain was what woke me up in the first place. Startled, the moment I looked out the window, my vision flickered white, followed by a roar that seemed to split the sky in two.

I quickly checked my phone and found that a thunderstorm accompanied by strong winds had been pouring down all over Seoul for a couple of hours already. There were also several emergency alert messages. To think I slept through all this, unaware.

Outside the window, it was truly the middle of a storm. From the garden, I heard the sound of something shattering with a crash. It seemed to be a light fixture. The wind, howling with a tremendous noise like the scream of a beast, blew completely sideways, and heavy rain—almost as thick as a finger—lashed against the window, carried by the wind.

I looked at the weather forecast again. I thought it was just news of simple rain, but instead, it was a torrential downpour with strong winds. It wasn’t even a typhoon in May, what on earth….

The weather was enough to drive one mad. Thunder and lightning struck incessantly, flashing blindingly before my eyes, and I could even see the shape of lightning streaking across the sky between the clouds far outside the window.

I turned on the TV right in front of the bed. It was broadcasting nothing but breaking disaster news. They reported that some areas were already flooded, landslides had occurred, and evacuations seemed to be recommended in certain places.

It was truly an overwhelming sound of rain, accompanied by thunder and wind. Staring blankly out the window, I thought of Lili. Lili is still a kitten. I don’t know if she has ever experienced thunder and lightning like this. She might be terrified. They say animals are even more sensitive.

I hurriedly set out to find Lili.

“Lili…. Lili?”

She wasn’t near the cat towers. Most of the room doors in the house were closed, and my room was the same while I was sleeping. With Lili’s jumping ability, she can’t open doors yet.

Since Lili first arrived, she got used to the doors being closed throughout the house, so she doesn’t particularly get angry at a closed door; she just gives up right in front of it, turns around, and walks away. Then she must be somewhere inside the house, in a place she can enter….

While searching every nook and cranny of the house, I discovered the door to the first-floor utility room was open. But the closer I got, the stranger it felt. The loud noise from outside the house sounded unusually loud. I stepped into the currently empty utility room and froze in place. The window above the shelf was open slightly.

“Lili….”

No matter how much I searched the house, she wasn’t there. I checked every small gap and every place a cat could hide. Lili was nowhere to be seen. The shelf was at a height Lili could easily climb, and although the window was only opened a crack, it wouldn’t be difficult for Lili to slip through. I felt the blood in my whole body run cold.

First, I closed the window where the rain was beating in like crazy. It was a relief there was nothing in the utility room. The moment I closed the window, the outside noise was cut off, and in that instant…. I became certain that Lili had gone outside.

I immediately turned my body around. I was still wearing the comfortable clothes I use as pajamas, but I didn’t even have the presence of mind to think about changing clothes or grabbing a raincoat or an umbrella. I just barely slipped on my slippers and rushed outside.

The garden isn’t very large. Still, it was landscaped, so there were many spaces for a cat to hide. Like a madman, I searched randomly under shrubs, beneath tables, and in the crevices of landscaping rocks.

Lili must have definitely been startled by the sound of thunder. That must be why she unknowingly went outside. So even if I find her, I shouldn’t startle her further…. I knew this in my head. I knew it, but the moment I saw Lili under the gate, I was so relieved and surprised that I ended up shouting.

“Lili!”

“Meow…!”

Lili let out a sharp cry and slipped right through the gap under the gate. I tried to open the gate and go after her, but my foot caught on the doorframe. The moment my slipper came off and I fell forward, Lili looked back at me and then ran over, letting out a cry loud enough not to be swallowed by the sound of the rain.

“Li, Lili…. are you okay? Hm? What should I do….”

It was the moment I tightly embraced Lili.

Through the rain, a vehicle’s headlights flashed.

“…!”

The sudden light brought back a moment from that day. With a screech, the sound of braking, a roar that shouldn’t be heard rang out, tearing at my ears.

The umbrella dropping to the floor with a thud.

The image of rushing into the car while dropping the umbrella.

The body of someone who looked exactly like me floating up into the dark, rainy void, the sound ringing out as it fell to the floor covered in blood…. The rain pouring down over it….

As I bent forward while holding Lili, feeling a violent dizziness as if swept up in a whirlpool. A familiar voice was heard.

“What are you doing right now?”