ASD 32

Thump, thump. Amidst the sound of his heartbeat pounding in his eardrums, the commercials ended and the movie began. Fortunately, the movie was captivating from the very beginning. His attention, which had been entirely focused on the person next to him, naturally shifted to the screen.

Even while watching the movie, Gawon took moments to chew over his current situation. He could hardly believe it. The fact that he was spending time like this with Gijun.

It was a novel and secret feeling. He was embarrassed for anyone to find out. It might be a small part of everyday life for others, but for him, it was a happiness so great it was almost unbelievable.

From time to time, his gaze turned not to the screen, but to Gijun. Pretending to straighten his back and sink deeper into his seat, he would sneak a glance to his right, where Gijun was sitting. Of course, only subtly enough that the boy wouldn’t notice.

The well-shaped back of his head and his neat, substantial neckline came into view. His handsome profile, as if drawn, kept pulling Gawon’s gaze in, making it linger.

Then, he suddenly thought that he himself was being strange. He should be focusing on the movie, but why did his eyes keep going only to Gijun?

He wasn’t a girl, just a boy the same age as him. A boy who was taller and bigger than him, completely and utterly a boy…

‘…This is… strange.’

Gawon bit his lip gently.

Just then, Gijun, who had been quietly concentrating on the movie, casually reached out his hand to the side and grabbed some popcorn. His muscular forearm touched Gawon’s arm. As always, his hot body temperature instantly covered Gawon’s skin.

His body flinched involuntarily. He reflexively tried to pull his arm away, but managed to regain his composure and relaxed his body. He felt like he had been the only one acting strangely since a while ago.

Gijun is watching just fine, so why am I the only one making such a fuss?

Thinking that, he felt a sense of unfairness. Gawon quietly inhaled, puffing up his chest. He wasn’t going to pay attention to useless things anymore. The moment he resolved this and turned his head toward the screen.

“Is the movie… boring?”

Gijun suddenly moved closer and whispered.

“Why have you been looking only at my face since a while ago?”

The sound of a soft chuckle tickled his ear. The boy’s lips were precariously close, almost touching his ear. In an instant, the fine hairs on his skin stood on end, and his senses sharpened.

“…When… did I.”

I thought he didn’t know. He felt so awkward and embarrassed he could die, but he tried to deny it first. …But how did Gijun know?

‘What the. You knew I was looking because you were paying attention to me too.’

At that thought, a desire for revenge suddenly welled up. Gawon pointedly leaned his upper body toward Gijun. You get a taste of it too. It was a childish but genuine sentiment.

“Be quiet and watch the movie.”

Whisper, whisper, he whispered that into Gijun’s ear, just as he had done. So close that his lips almost touched the shell of his ear.

The corners of Gijun’s mouth, which had been curved in a relaxed smile, hardened in an instant. Blinking as if flustered, Gijun silently covered his mouth with one hand. Then, he moved his large hand to wipe his face as if washing it. Hoo, he let out a long, deep breath.

Gawon turned his head straight ahead as if fleeing. His heart pounded, ringing in his ears. It was just a joke, did he overdo it? Now that he saw Gijun’s noticeable agitation, he didn’t know what to do.

“…”

“…”

After that, no more words were exchanged between them. In the awkward atmosphere, Gawon took a deep breath. He now truly tried to focus his attention only on the movie. Fortunately, his consciousness smoothly fell into the narrative on the screen.

[Mom. No. It can’t be. No, I’ll look into it again….]

Gawon’s relaxed face began to slowly harden from the moment the protagonist’s mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness. The atmosphere, which had been nothing but sweet until now, sank in an instant.

…There was no mention of this when I briefly looked it up yesterday.

Gawon nervously licked his lips. Why is this kind of content suddenly coming up… He couldn’t bring himself to look at the face of Gijun, who was sitting next to him.

Surely, surely nothing would happen to the protagonist’s mother in the movie. He was even more concerned because he had just asked Gijun about the rosary bracelet at the restaurant earlier.

However, the flow of the movie mercilessly went in the direction Gawon wanted the least. After a short battle with her illness, the mother eventually passed away, and the protagonist collapsed to the hospital room floor, crying while clinging to her body.

[Mom. Mom, wake up. Mom…! Mom!]

The protagonist’s wails filling the theater were sorrowful. Gawon found it increasingly unbearable.

He stole a glance at Gijun’s face, which he hadn’t had the confidence to look at until now. Unlike Gawon, who was fidgeting restlessly, Gijun was simply staring at the screen with a blank expression.

I can’t do this.

Gawon, who had been anxiously fiddling with his fingers, abruptly reached out and grabbed Gijun’s wrist. It was purely an impulse. So much so that even he himself was flustered, not knowing why he was doing it.

“Let’s go.”

At Gawon’s firm whisper, Gijun, who had been sitting expressionlessly, looked at him with surprised eyes.

“Huh?”

“I said, let’s go.”

“…Why?”

“It’s not fun. I don’t want to watch it.”

Having announced his decision unilaterally, Gawon got up without a second thought. He snatched his own cola cup from the holder and bent over to exit the row of seats.

Fortunately, Gijun followed him obediently. He was heading his way with a dazed expression, clutching the popcorn tub. Despite his obvious bewilderment, as soon as Gijun got close, he held out his arm toward Gawon.

“Grab on here. Be careful.”

Gawon placed his hand on Gijun’s forearm without a word. Relying on the boy for a moment, he carefully climbed the steps.

In the darkness, Gijun’s sturdy arm was the only thing to rely on. The closer he got, the stronger his scent became. The scent of Gijun, which was comforting and strong, and for that reason, sometimes so good it could take his breath away.

Once they were outside the theater, his vision brightened all at once. The glare made him squint his eyes a little. Feeling inexplicably a bit uncomfortable, Gawon walked without looking at Gijun. Gijun, who had been walking in step beside him, threw his empty cola cup into a trash can.

“Should we go out and walk for a bit?”

Gijun didn’t ask why he came out, or didn’t he say it was fun earlier. Instead, he said that. Gawon nodded.

It was still bright outside. As they walked, his stifled view opened up. It was 4 PM, a time when the color of the sunlight, warmed during the day, was gradually deepening, and the blowing wind was becoming gentler. Gawon headed to a nearby park with Gijun.

Unlike the crowded downtown area, the small path inside the park was not very crowded. Only a person walking a dog here and there and a few elderly people exercising leisurely caught his eye.

The cherry blossom trees lining the path swayed, shaking their branches. Gawon quietly watched the scene of petals falling like rain. A few cherry blossom petals, dancing as they embroidered the blue sky, landed on Gijun’s shoulder.

Gawon carefully reached out, picked them up, and then clenched his fist as if trapping them in his palm. Because he didn’t want to lose them.

“Gijun.”

“Yeah.”

The voice calling the boy was as heavy as his heart. Unlike Gijun’s fresh and shadowless reply. Gawon lowered his head to look at the tips of his toes.

“I’m sorry.”

“…Why?”

Gijun asked in a bewildered voice. Gawon stubbornly kept his eyes fixed on the ground.

“I didn’t know the movie’s plot… would be like that.”

“…”

“And asking about the bracelet earlier, too. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

His voice was full of dismay. Gawon bit down on his lip.

“…You tried so hard to make me have a good time. But I’m worried that you… might not have been able to.”

Gijun had planned everything for today and bought him an expensive meal. Above all, he had been looking forward to today so much. He could still vividly picture him jumping up and down with excitement earlier.

Unlike Gijun, who tried to accommodate him in everything, he had upset him today. Of course, there was no ill intent, but still, because of him, the boy must have kept being reminded of unpleasant memories.

A sigh escaped him on its own. At the edge of his lowered gaze, he could see his own feet and Gijun’s, which had stopped at some point. Worn-out sneakers with holes in them and clean, large sneakers were standing facing each other.

“Ah.”

Letting out a single sound, Gijun suddenly dropped down into a squat. The crouching boy covered his face with his palms.

“Seriously. Yoon Gawon.”

Gijun mumbled as he rubbed his face. At the unexpected, sudden action, Gawon forgot his distress and his eyes grew wide.

“You totally just powerfully dragged me out of there because you were worried I’d get upset watching the movie. Right.”

“…That’s true, but.”

“What should I do. This makes me like you too much.”

“Uh…?”

“Ah…” Gijun squeezed out another sound, as if groaning. Gawon blankly stared at the back of the crouching Gijun. Why is he suddenly being like this…?

Finally, Gijun stood up. Gawon naturally raised his head, following his much higher eye level.

“There was something I wanted to say after a little more time.”

“…”

“But when you do things like this, I can’t hold back anymore.”

The more he heard, the harder it was to grasp the context. What did he want to do with more time, and what couldn’t he hold back? Gawon blinked, waiting for the next words.