JKA 57

After leading Jiwoon outside, Hanbyeol managed to calm the sobbing man down and heard the whole story. As he listened to the tale, told tearfully and haltingly, Hanbyeol felt a strange sensation. The part where Zeo had suddenly complained of pain and then collapsed didn’t quite make sense.

He said he was an angel, not an ordinary human. For such a being to feel pain and lose consciousness didn’t add up. Moreover, there was a part of Jiwoon’s story that he especially couldn’t accept, and that was about the wing.

“He only has one wing?”

Hanbyeol asked, looking down at Jiwoon, who was sitting on the steps in front of the building.

“Y-yeah, h-he only has one.”

“How did that happen?”

“…I d-don’t know about that.”

“Ha.”

Jiwoon said that Zeo had clutched the shoulder on the side where he had no wing, cried out in pain, and then collapsed. The side without a wing. Could an angel have only one wing? He’d never seen another angel, but normally, when you think of an angel, isn’t it standard for them to have two wings like a bird?

“When did you find out he only has one wing?”

“Wh-when he first came, he o-only had one.”

“…”

“He sh-showed me later, too. Ah, it’s not like it’s completely gone, th-there’s a small clump of f-feathers.”

It was about the size of his palm; now that he thought about it, it might have been a little smaller than that. You couldn’t really say it was in the shape of a wing, it just looked like a white lump with a few feathers sprouting from it, but on reflection, it did look like a severed cross-section.

“W-was it cut… or did he cut it. Anyway, he said the feathers d-do grow.”

“Did you see them growing?”

At Hanbyeol’s question, Jiwoon nodded. He didn’t say when they grew, but they definitely did. When Jiwoon’s wish was granted, when the thought of wanting to die disappeared, even for a moment, one or two feathers would grow on the side without a wing.

“I d-did ask him v-various things today. He said he’d an-answer anything I was curious about. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t even think of the im-important things.”

If there was something he should have asked, he should have first asked about the things Hanbyeol was mentioning now. Things like why he had come to him, and why one of his wings was gone. But he couldn’t ask any of that, and only asked useless things. He asked if humans could become angels, and he asked if he had seen many humans like him.

That was because those questions were more important than the previous ones. Why Lee Zeo had come to him, why he only had one wing—things like that weren’t very important. Whether he had one wing or three, whatever reason he had for coming to him, none of that mattered. What Jiwoon was curious about regarding Zeo wasn’t that kind of thing.

He was more curious about whether everything he was doing now was just one of his duties as an angel or not. He wanted to get assurance that he could stay by his side, and he wanted to hear that he was doing all of this only for him. And he thought about whether, much later when he himself died, there might be a way for them to be together.

He thought far ahead, about things in the distant future, rather than what was right in front of him. To Jiwoon, that was what was important. He didn’t care what happened to anything else. As long as Zeo was by his side, as long as Lee Zeo continued to like him, he felt like everything would be okay.

“Wh-what if something g-goes wrong?”

Jiwoon said, looking up at Hanbyeol.

“Wh-what if he dies?”

“He’s not even human, why are you worrying about something like that.”

“E-even if he’s not human, he can still die.”

“…”

“Animals die, p-plants die, and after a lot of time passes, even st-stones wear down and become sand.”

“…”

“Wh-what in the world doesn’t die and d-disappear.”

He had said he had lived for an unimaginably long time. How could he guarantee that Zeo’s end wouldn’t be today? Could he just jump to the conclusion that because he was an angel, a different being from humans, he would have no end? Jiwoon had seen a person who had been laughing and chatting with him just moments before die in an instant.

Someone so young that he couldn’t have imagined dying in the next few minutes, let alone tomorrow, had died in an instant because of a single truck. That could happen because he was human. Humans are weak, so they can easily lose their lives in small accidents. But Zeo wasn’t human, was he? If so, then perhaps his current concerns were just a leap of logic.

But Jiwoon was afraid. Because he had seen someone he’d never imagined would die, die. If that was the case, couldn’t Zeo, an angel, also die through a confluence of coincidences? That death might be different from a human’s, but in any case, couldn’t he also disappear at any moment like his hyung? What’s the difference between that and a human’s death, Jiwoon thought.

“M-maybe it’s because he ate s-something. He originally d-doesn’t have to eat anything. Forcing himself to e-eat something and all that.”

“Jiwoon.”

“Because I… asked him to eat something again.”

The past event and the present situation naturally overlapped, and Jiwoon fidgeted with his hands anxiously. Then, Jiwoon shot up from his seat and said to Hanbyeol.

“I-I have to go back in.”

“Jiwoon. Honestly, I can’t say I understand how you feel. Because from what I can see, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

“…”

“That thing lying in your house right now, no, that person… he’s not human. You know that, right?”

Hanbyeol stopped Jiwoon, who was rushing around anxiously, and continued speaking in a calm voice. He didn’t know the reason, but he didn’t feel right letting Jiwoon, who seemed to be cornered, go back inside just like that.

“I was going to say this earlier but decided not to, but seeing you now, I think I just have to say it.”

“…”

“I know that person is good to you. Seeing you like this, it seems he’s a source of support and helps you a lot, even in my eyes. But, that person and us are different.”

“…”

“The world we live in is different, and simply put, we’re human and that person is not. He said he came to help you, right? But he can’t do that forever. Something like an angel shouldn’t be by a person’s side continuously, and I don’t think it’s even possible.”

Hanbyeol spoke with a serious face, his words sincere. Humans ultimately have to live on their own. A life where someone does everything for you from one to ten couldn’t exist. Moreover, they weren’t even the same species; it didn’t make sense, common-sense-wise, for a being called an angel to live like that for just one human.

In the first place, everything happening to him or Jiwoon was outside of common sense, but at least the demon clearly wanted something from him. But the angel wasn’t like that. He didn’t come because he wanted something. The one who wanted something was, if anything, Jiwoon. But he couldn’t grant his wishes forever. If that were possible, shouldn’t every single human in this world have a dedicated angel?

“I probably don’t know the full extent of your relationship with that person. Just like I have things I don’t talk about, you must too. But even considering that, you, right now, are going a little too far.”

“G-going too far?”

“This isn’t a matter of life and death. That person can leave your side at any time. If he says he’s leaving, you just have to let him go.”

“…Why?”

Jiwoon met Hanbyeol’s gaze with trembling eyes. Hanbyeol’s expression was firm, and Jiwoon was scared by it.

“Because it’s not normal.”

“…”

“Do you think it’s strange that I don’t exchange a single word with the demon? Don’t you think that’s the right thing to do? The fact that I don’t ask for strange things or wish for things from that demon, you think that’s right too, don’t you.”

“H-he’s an angel, not a demon.”

“Jiwoon. Whether it’s a demon or an angel, that’s not what’s important.”

“…”

“There’s something next to you that shouldn’t be there, and acting like you can’t live without it is what’s strange.”

You’re afraid of him dying and disappearing from your side, aren’t you? Hanbyeol added, and Jiwoon, having been hit where it hurt, couldn’t say a word. But even so, it didn’t make his worry for Zeo disappear, nor did it change his mind about having to go to him right now.

“I-I like that person.”

“…What?”

“I-I’ve come to like him. So n-now, I can’t be without him.”

Seeing Jiwoon crying, not knowing what to do about the collapsed Zeo, Hanbyeol had slightly guessed his feelings, but hearing him say it so openly made his heart drop with a thud. He shouldn’t. That can’t happen. Those were the only thoughts that came to mind.

“Does that person know, too?”

“Y-yes, he knows.”

“…”

“I-I don’t know about anything else, but because I l-like him, I can’t just st-stay here while he’s collapsed like that.”

“…”

“I just l-like that person. I want to st-stay with him, always.”