PAX 35

But I’m not even sure if figuring out who that is is truly important or not. I won’t exactly be committing any “acts of betrayal” against Ahn Yutan within the Pachulso, so is there really any need to worry about an internal monitor? Either way, I’ll naturally find out once Ahn Yutan’s plan is finalized on the day of the fitness test.

I wonder if that person, whoever they are, knows that I meet with Ahn Yutan separately like this. Or, perhaps Ahn Yutan is hiding my existence from them, just as he is doing with me.

If so, is that person also curious about who else is in contact with Ahn Yutan?

“Get in.”

I looked up at Ahn Yutan’s voice. Ahn Yutan was standing there, holding the back door of the car open, looking at me.

I held the bike key I had just taken out and met Ahn Yutan’s gaze for a moment. Somewhere, a bird was singing rhythmically.

I put the key back in my pocket and went toward Ahn Yutan. As I was about to get into the backseat and sit down, I felt Ahn Yutan push in and press tightly against me. One of my legs was lifted roughly. I spread my legs wide and lay down on the seat as if I had been thrown there.

“What are you doing?”

I asked, even though I knew. I was curious to see how he would answer.

Ahn Yutan, who had sat between my legs and leaned his upper body forward, unbuckled my pants. The breeze blew in through the door that was wide open behind Ahn Yutan. It smelled of heated bodies.

“You wrote a false review. And you didn’t even fix it.”

My pants and underwear slid down to mid-thigh. Mine weren’t completely erect yet, but blood was rushing there quickly.

“Is my review that important?”

“The fact that it was false is what’s important.”

Ahn Yutan draped his shirt hem over the back of his neck and pulled out his fully erect penis from inside his track shorts. I watched Ahn Yutan while biting my lip. For some reason, the scar below his collarbone looked a bit darker in color than the last time I saw it. The sweat pooled in his cleavage glittered just like sand on a white beach.

“What’s this talk of falsehoods between us?”

Ahn Yutan muttered as he pressed his body flat against my pelvis. As he pressed down firmly, mine became fully erect as well.

“‘Between us’?”

This time, I asked because I didn’t know what he meant. I was curious to see how he would answer.

Ahn Yutan, who chuckled while panting, pulled up my t-shirt and squeezed my chest tightly with both hands.

“The kind of ‘between us’ where we sword-fight inside a car.”

The car body shook with heavy thuds. Ahn Yutan pressed and shoved my body as if he were going to burst it. Under his roughly kneading hands, for some reason, I felt my chest swelling up as if my genitals were becoming erect. No, it wasn’t just my genitals and chest; my whole body felt like it was swelling. Ahn Yutan pressed down on me like that again and again.

I recalled last night. The fantasy of being penetrated by a pitch-black shadow while misconstruing the sounds, visuals, and smells in various ways. And the memory of the day when that thing was filled to the brim inside my body.

The two of us obsessively looked down at our two sets of genitals, which were slickly rubbing against each other while we remained in contact. Until semen erupted from the one on top and the one on the bottom almost simultaneously.

“Uh, ha, fuck. Fuck.”

Ahn Yutan panted, his shoulders trembling. I hadn’t realized it, but I had been gripping Ahn Yutan’s arms tightly. Seeing Ahn Yutan’s bloodshot forehead, I let go of his arms.

Ahn Yutan, who had slowly lowered his head, soon laid his cheek against my chest and slumped down on top of me. I wasn’t sure what to do with the leg I had hoisted up, so I wrapped it over Ahn Yutan’s body. We lay there clinging tightly to each other like that for a while.

What am I doing right now?

That thought came again. What on earth am I doing right now with someone like Ahn Yutan, of all people?

Is it okay to be doing this?

And what exactly wouldn’t be okay about it?

No, I don’t know. I don’t know anything.

At least, I like the fact that during sex, I can focus solely on this. The fact that I don’t think about things related to Mom and Dad when we are having sex.

“Are you really going to kill him?”

The words just popped out.

“Who?”

“Your father.”

“Ahn Juik? Yeah.”

His tone was like someone mindlessly stepping on an ant crawling by.

“You, that’s….”

I hesitated, wondering if I could really ask this question, but eventually, I finished it.

“Are you not bothered by it at all?”

I wanted to know. I wanted to know what kind of mindset led him to seem so devoid of hesitation about killing his father. How that could even be possible.

“Let’s say you’ve walked 10 kilometers under the scorching sun. You finally arrive home in a state where you feel like you’re going to die from exhaustion.”

…Is he answering my question?

“There is only one chair in the house. You came in thinking you’d sit there and rest for a bit, but your old man is sitting right there. What are you supposed to do then?”

“…Sit somewhere else and rest?”

“I told you there’s only one chair.”

“Can’t you just sit on the floor? You said it was a home.”

“What if it’s not a regular chair, but a massage chair? A chair that massages and pounds you until your neck, back, butt, and legs melt away the moment you lie down?”

“Just wait until your father’s turn is over….”

“You have to kill him, you idiot.”

I swallowed a sigh. Even the example he brings up is just…

“I’m the one who’s dying here, so does the turn even matter? That decrepit son of a bitch is always lying there, so I’ve never even had a chance to try it? So, the point is, I’m going to clear him out of the way and sit there myself.”

I thought for a moment.

“Have you tried it before?”

“No.”

“When did you first start wanting to kill him?”

Ahn Yutan let out a dry laugh.

“Who knows? Since I was born?”

Just looking at this cocky attitude of his, I feel more convinced that it’s just attention-seeking behavior or rebellion based on an affection deficit. Still, because he is such an unpredictable person, I can’t be sure.

Does Ahn Juik abuse him severely? Could that be why he hates him and is seriously trying to get rid of him? Or is it a money issue? Is something tangled up regarding the inheritance, and is that why he’s trying to kill him?

Ahn Yutan took a deep breath, exhaled, shifted his body slightly, and buried his face squarely in my chest. Ahn Yutan’s cheeks puffed out significantly, and as the air escaped through his lips, it made a loud farting noise.

I watched him for a moment as he enjoyed playing around while snickering to himself.

“Is there a specific trigger that made you decide you have to do it now, after wanting to kill him every moment since you were born?”

I asked in the moment the farting noises subsided.

“Because the fitness test is opening up.”

After saying that, Ahn Yutan licked my chest a few times.

“I told you. I said I’m going to do it where everyone in the Nagun District is gathered. So everyone can see.”

“Does everyone really have to see that?”

“That’s the only way they won’t dare to mess with me. Who would dare challenge someone who killed their own father in front of all the residents gathered? Life gets easier once you’re treated like a mad dog.”

It seems like he’s already living quite easily being treated like a mad dog.

And in fact, don’t mad dogs running around in human society eventually get shot down?

“What if you fail?”

“Why would I fail?”

“It could happen.”

“Why? Are you secretly plotting some plan to make me fail?”

This time, I couldn’t swallow the sigh.

“I’m just saying that because I think it’s best to be prepared for any potential situation. It’s better than having nothing at all.”

Ahn Yutan seemed to think about something for a moment.

“There’s no way I’ll fail, but if some fucked-up thing like that ever does happen, it’ll be entirely because of you people, so I’d have to punish you accordingly.”

What kind of development is this?

“Punishment?”

“That everyone dies. Every single one of those Pachulso bastards you dragged in.”

Ahn Yutan said those words while cackling.

“Of course, I’ll keep you alive. Because you have to kill them yourself, one by one, right in front of my eyes. So, if you don’t want to create any troublesome situations, do your best to cooperate. And educate the kids well, too.”

If I went back to the past and told my younger self that a situation where I’d have his head resting on my chest would happen in my life, how would I react? If I were told that I would end up in a relationship where I’d be baring my skin to such an absurdly dangerous person.

“Oh, that’s right, you borrowed money.”

Ahn Yutan suddenly lifted his head and said.

I looked at Ahn Yutan, feeling a bit surprised.

So it was true that he had just watched what I was doing that morning and turned away without a word. He had let me go without a fight, trusting my promise to pay him back.