PAX 23

Ever since a certain point, whenever I think of Ahn Yutan, curses just slip out of my mouth. I’ve never seen a person as complicated and annoying as him. At least the guards’ bullshit is simple.

Whenever I had a spare moment, I took out the letter and read it over and over. First, in an attempt to be a little less complicated, I decided to assume the time was 3 PM today. And the place… couldn’t it be the swimming park? Maybe he thinks I guessed he was trying to trick me, and he’s banking on me overthinking it and going somewhere else. He’s twisted his trick once more to throw me off, so Ahn Yutan is actually at the swimming park. In that case, I should just go to the swimming park….

Then, my eyes landed on the second line.

Don’t you even think about standing me up again^^

He said “again.”

When Ahn Yutan said with his own mouth that he’d been “stood up,” the place he claimed he had waited was the Plaza Building. He insisted that he had written the meeting place and time somewhere on the back of my neck. He said he waited there alone for 30 minutes.

I don’t know if all of that is the truth or not, but regardless, seeing the word “again” made the thought that he meant for me to meet him at the Plaza Building grow stronger.

Right. Let’s go to the Plaza Building. It’s inside the ruins village anyway. If I wait there for about 10 minutes and Ahn Yutan doesn’t show up, then I’ll go to the swimming park. It’s better to be late to wherever he is than to stand him up again.

“Fucking bastard.”

While riding my bike, I muttered another curse inside my helmet. No, rather than muttered, I said it a bit loudly.

I’ll have to try telling him that if we’re going to be in this together, couldn’t he at least deliver instructions clearly and concisely? He might act like a lunatic again, suddenly throw a punch, or ignore me while talking about something completely unrelated, but unexpectedly, he might just calmly agree to do so.

This is the most fucking part: that guessing a few possible reactions is useless. He could do one of those four things, or he could do all four. He might even come up with a reaction I hadn’t thought of at all.

“Son of a bitch.”

Even when I got off the bike and took off my helmet, the curse came out like a sigh.

I was a bit anxious because there was nothing—not the purple Porsche nor the white Bronco—in front of the Plaza Building, but I decided to assume Ahn Yutan hadn’t arrived yet and sat down on the steps in front of the entrance.

Trash was rolling around here and there on the road in front of the building. Lush ferns wrapped around tree trunks like clouds. Grass grown to waist height. Stray dogs passing by in a pack in the distance. The sound of cicadas. The sound of insects chirping. The sound of birds crying.

I sat in that scenery and stubbornly ignored the back of my neck. The basement of the Plaza—the place Ahn Yutan said he had hit Yonghee.

If I turned around, went into the entrance, and walked down the stairs, I would be able to find traces. Unlike the “truck hit-and-run accident” that my mom and dad talked about, which had no substance, that was evidence I could see with my own eyes.

However, precisely because of that, I was refusing to look at that scene myself.

Last night’s incident came to mind. Waking up in the middle of the night to some movement. Mom standing next to me. The two of us staring at each other in the darkness for a few seconds.

I frowned, remembering that scene, then shook my head a few times. There’s no way Mom would have snuck in like that to do something to me while I was sleeping. She wouldn’t have been trying to carry out what I was imagining.

Mom said she came in because she “heard me talking in my sleep loudly while passing by the hallway.” There’s no way that was a lie. I’d never heard of myself talking in my sleep before, but given the situation, it’s possible I started doing it recently because stress has been piling up.

When I asked what kind of sleep-talking I did, she said she didn’t know what I was saying, but it sounded like the noise a person being chased would make.

Since I can be seen as being chased by something in reality, there is a sufficient possibility that I did that kind of sleep-talking. So, Mom really heard the strange noises I was making and came into the room to check on me because she was worried.

It wasn’t that the situation of me sleeping alone without Yonghee was some perfect opportunity for Mom.

Even after Mom stroked my hair and left, the scent of grass lingered in the room for a long time. It was a smell that frequently came from Mom, who mainly takes care of the flowerbed in the backyard at night.

The moment a warm breeze blew, I felt like I suddenly smelled that. For some reason, I held my breath and covered my nose and mouth. In my head, I was picturing Mom’s silhouette that I had seen in the darkness. Did she seem to have any tool hidden under her clothes? Was she holding something in her hand? For example, a syringe….

I don’t know. It was too dark, and perhaps just that thought made the silhouette look all bumpy and uneven. I was sufficiently shocked, but I knew I had to act like I wasn’t shocked more than necessary. That’s why I wonder if I overacted, trying to act nonchalant. Was I the one who looked suspicious because of that? No. Does Mom have any reason to look at me suspiciously? If Mom had no intent either, she has no reason to look at me suspiciously. And there is no way Mom had any intent.

While I was like that, the moment I heard a very small, out-of-place sound, I let out a breath all at once, “Phew.” Ahn Yutan was walking out from the side of the building.

“Pigeon Oppa.”

I met eyes with Ahn Yutan, who was waving nonchalantly, nodded in greeting, and stood up.

Suddenly, I felt a very faint sense of relief. In a situation where it’s just shifting my mind from focusing on one troublesome problem to another troublesome problem, it was a change of pace, at least.

“Did you wait long?”

Ahn Yutan, who had come and stood in front of me, was beaming. Suddenly, jealousy flared up at this brightness. A life lived without any worries or burdens. This peaceful degenerate, excited about the thought of killing his own father in front of many people.

“Why did you ask to see me?”

Since I’m going to get straight to the point first, please just follow along.

“My goodness, look at this Oppa. Someone has arrived, and he doesn’t even say a word of greeting.”

“Just tell me the business….”

Before I could even finish my sentence properly, my face whipped to the side. I clutched my cheek, which felt like it was burning, and suppressed what was boiling up inside.

“Can’t you try some foreplay before you stick it in, you fucker? If I’m sucking you off, you should suck me off too, so why am I the only one sucking?”

I took a deep breath and faced Ahn Yutan.

“Have you been well?”

It was a stiff tone, but I squeezed out the greeting as best as I could.

“Look. Isn’t this nice? Sucking each other off and all that is the taste of living, you dog-fucker, making a person feel bad.”

He didn’t even answer the question of whether I’d been well; Ahn Yutan just went out toward the road, gesturing for me to follow. I took an even bigger deep breath and followed behind him.

“Hey, but I was kind of moved.”

Ahn Yutan, who had been walking ahead, said while matching his pace to my footsteps.

I had a strong urge to say I didn’t give a fuck what he was moved by, but since I already knew well that catering to his mood was better for my own well-being, I squeezed my gut and asked again.

“Why?”

“I thought you would stand me up again today, but you came out and were waiting for me first.”

Come to think of it, it was correct that I inferred the Plaza Building by looking at the “again” in that note. It was a relief that I didn’t end up making a mistake and wandering around here and there.

“You’re not a guy who can’t understand words at all.”

Ahn Yutan chuckled and stroked my hair.

Right. Let’s let him do it. Let’s cater to his mood and finish whatever this is quickly.

“I thought you’d say let’s meet next week.”

Instead of saying, Just tell me the fucking point of why you wanted to see me today, I was as vague as possible.

“We’ll see each other next week, and we’ll see each other this week. Why? Don’t you like it?”

Ahn Yutan plucked a long piece of weed and walked around, swinging it here and there.

“I’m just asking in case some urgent matter came up.”

It meant I hated it like hell, but I was vague again.

“We’ll meet next week too. Don’t worry.”

Ahn Yutan plucked another handful of weeds and combined them with what he was holding and swung them.

“You just see each other when you want to see each other. No limit on the number of times. Whenever I need to.”

I shut my mouth and just walked. What on earth is his business? Can I hear it within today? I don’t even know where we’re going right now, fuck.

“But is a Mister your type, too?”

Ahn Yutan asked while snapping off a tree branch.

“What are you talking about?”

“There’s one Mister you hang out with. The Mister who runs a restaurant.”