PAX 30

Ahn Yutan is the kind of human who would do something like this while fully harboring such thoughts. So, while I can speculate on why Ahn Yutan is acting this way, I can’t quite grasp my own intentions in accepting it without resistance.

Did I just quietly tuck my tail between my legs? Without any feeling of humiliation? Even going so far as to enjoy it? Was I the kind of person who could do that? Had I gone out of my mind from exhaustion? What on earth did I actually do?

After standing there attached like that for a while, Ahn Yutan pulled his body away. The moment his organ slid out, my buttocks and thighs trembled on their own.

“Fuck, did you cum on this?”

Ahn Yutan giggled while peering at the French fries sprinkled with semen.

“What are you doing with food in front of you? You’re so uncultured.”

Ahn Yutan picked up one of the fries that wasn’t stained with semen, ate it, then crumpled the paper into a tight ball.

“If I told you to eat this, it would be bullying, right? I don’t do that kind of low-class bully shit, you know?”

It seems like he uses the definition of the word “bullying” a bit differently again. I wonder what the things he’s done to me so far were, then.

Ahn Yutan tossed the crumpled paper into the trash can and went to the bathroom.

“Since you didn’t finish all of that, you aren’t going home today.”

The bathroom door closed, and the sound of showering followed.

I stood there with my underwear and pants hanging at my ankles and looked toward the entrance. Couldn’t I just walk out? It’s not like the person inside would have locked it so I couldn’t get out.

No, perhaps there is such a mechanism. A device where you have to scan your fingerprint to enter from the outside, and scan it to exit from the inside as well.

Perhaps that’s why he’s acting like this, giving me the choice again in this way, or acting as if he doesn’t care whether I leave or not. Just to watch me panic after I try to leave and fail, and then laugh at me.

I wiped my body roughly with a tissue and got dressed. My two legs were still trembling. I sat in a chair, thinking that I wouldn’t be able to walk all the way home on these legs. My buttocks, having been penetrated twice, were also a mess, so I couldn’t sit properly and had to sit slightly skewed to the side.

Ahn Yutan came out of the bathroom and threw a toothbrush in its wrapper onto the dining table.

“Sleep on the sofa.”

Ahn Yutan went into the dim bedroom.

I went to the bathroom, taking the toothbrush out of its wrapper. My body was already moving, having decided that I would be staying here tonight. I had never spent a night away from home for something other than handling a request.

But is it true that my heart made the same decision?

I don’t know. As long as my body is moving, the situation probably can’t be changed.

I brushed my teeth and came out to find a naked Ahn Yutan standing in front of the table drinking water. Should I say thank you for giving up the sofa? No. He’s the guy who dragged me here on a whim just because he was bored driving alone, anyway.

“Hey!”

I was heading silently toward the sofa when I turned back at Ahn Yutan’s voice.

“If I told you to sleep on the sofa, are you really going to sleep there?”

Ahn Yutan, who had shouted while glaring and spitting as he spoke, pointed toward the bedroom.

He is a difficult person to predict, but perhaps I should consider that he is consistent in that he’ll raise a fuss regardless of what I do.

I went into the dark bedroom and stood for a moment. I figured if I lay on the bed, he’d raise a fuss about how dare I lie in someone else’s bed, and if I lay on the floor, he’d raise a fuss about why I’m lying on someone else’s floor as I please. He might even raise a fuss about why I’m just standing there blankly.

The lights in the living room and kitchen went out, and everything became dark. Ahn Yutan, who entered the room, passed by me, went to the bed, and lay down. The window blinds were only about halfway down, so the room wasn’t pitch black.

“Come here and sleep.”

I went to the empty space on the side that Ahn Yutan had patted and lay down. The bed was wide, so our bodies didn’t touch.

A lot of things happened today. It really is a strange day. It was stranger than any other day.

I wonder if this is the first time I’ve finished a day with such thoughts. Furthermore, I was still left bewildered. So many things happened, but, well? What happened? How did it become like this? It was like that.

I thought Ahn Yutan had turned over with his back to me, but he seemed to fall asleep soon after.

If I left now and walked, I’d probably arrive home by sunrise. Or, at the very least, shouldn’t I make a phone call to my mom and dad? To tell them I’m sleeping out and will come home in the morning.

But I had no idea what kind of excuse I should make up. While thinking about that, I became too tired and fell asleep.

🎈🤍

When I opened my eyes, the room was bluish. 5:07 AM.

I turned my head and saw Ahn Yutan’s face. When I fell asleep yesterday, he had his back turned to me, but now he was sleeping with his face toward mine.

I watched that face for a while to make sure he was in a deep sleep. Then, I carefully got up and stepped down off the bed. On the dresser next to the bedroom door were a pen, a notepad, an empty cup, a utility knife, headphones, and a wallet.

I opened the folded wallet. A credit card, a national ID card, a driver’s license. The picture was Ahn Yutan’s face, but the name on all of them was “Jeong I-han.” It seems it was the name he used after identity laundering. As Jeong I-han, who was one year younger than his real age, Ahn Yutan was living here, attending school, getting his license, and making friends.

Inside the wallet, Ahn Yutan was a truly ordinary citizen. Even the name “Jeong I-han” felt overly ordinary and peaceful compared to Ahn Yutan’s image. I suddenly thought it made no sense that such things could prove that man’s identity.

There was also some cash inside the wallet. Since I’m borrowing it anyway, it would be better to take a generous amount. I need fare to get to the terminal, too.

As I took all the cash out, I looked toward the bed, and I locked eyes with Ahn Yutan.

Fuck.

Ahn Yutan was staring at me, turning his head slightly while still lying on his side. Without any expression and without saying a word.

Since there was no reaction, I wondered if he slept with his eyes open, but seeing him blink regularly, it seemed he was awake.

I looked at Ahn Yutan while holding the wallet in one hand and the partially extracted cash in the other, then went ahead and pulled the cash out completely. Still, Ahn Yutan had no reaction.

“I’ll pay you back.”

I said, then put the cash into my pants pocket.

Ahn Yutan kept watching me while I put the wallet back down, then soon turned over to the other side.

Even when I took my clothes that I had taken off yesterday and brought them out, Ahn Yutan didn’t call me or follow me out. Contrary to what I had imagined, the front door could be opened and left freely from the inside.

When I asked a passerby, there was a subway station nearby. I walked there, took the subway, and went to the terminal. I bought a ticket for a bus that was leaving soon and would pass near the Nagon District, asked the driver to let me off in the middle, and boarded.

I let out a sigh of relief as I sat in my seat. I’m finally going home. The fact that I had been dragged off to the house of a human who said he was bored driving alone, and couldn’t escape because I hadn’t finished eating the French fries, was once again mind-boggling.

Anyway, he was awake earlier, right? The fact that he just stayed still after seeing me rummaging through his wallet and then turned away like that feels somewhat unlike Ahn Yutan, so it bothers me… No. Honestly, I don’t even know what is “like Ahn Yutan.” Because he is a human who is hard to predict. There could be a side to him that doesn’t care whether I take the money or not. He might have just woken up and not thought much of it. Or maybe he just let me go without a word because he trusted that I would pay him back.

There’s no use in thinking hard about these things alone. Ahn Yutan must have some reason I can’t guess for acting that way, and anyway, that’s something only he knows.

“Have you ever been there?”

“No. It’s expensive, and it’s kinda scary.”

“I’ve wanted to try going once, though.”

While the bus was moving for a while, conversations from some seat in the back were faintly heard.

“Aren’t you scared? What if you get bitten?”

“Aey, they said that disease has disappeared now. And since we’re going as a group, surely nothing will happen.”

“Ugh. I’m never going. It feels so gross.”

I could tell they were talking about the Nagon District. It seems the topic came up because the Nagon District slightly overlaps with the path the bus takes.

“Ah, I saw someone who toured there and wrote a post about it? There’s some place called the birthplace of the infected or something? But I think they said there was also a model of human flesh inside, or something like that.”

“Ugh, really? They show you stuff like that when you tour?”