NCBF Ch 41

― Did you even overthink it? Why? Were you really scared, and afraid that if you said you were scared, I’d be hurt?

A rustling sound came through the receiver. It seemed Hyun Gyujin was lying on his bed and shifted his posture. Listening to that sound, Yuwon also pulled up his blanket and covered his legs.

“No, it’s not like that. I’m not scared at all. Why would I be scared of you? I’ve never once been scared of you.”

― Then you can just send it like that, why overthink it so much?

“Saying this out loud is… fine, but sending it via text makes it look unnecessarily more serious and a bit… yeah. It’s weird, you know.”

― Ah, I know what that is. Anyway, I called wondering if something was wrong. I’m going to hang up now, so think your own thoughts. I won’t disturb you. Until morning.

Fiddling with the edge of the blanket for no reason, Yuwon even grabbed a cushion and held it in his arms. And then, he barely managed to draw out a small voice. It was a very small voice, just as big as the courage he could muster right now.

“…Can we talk for just 5 more minutes?”

― Huh?

“I can think… after that… so let’s talk for just 10 more minutes.”

― It feels like 5 minutes increased in 1 second.

“…I originally meant to say 15 minutes, but I cut it down by 5 minutes, you know.”

He was so embarrassed that he couldn’t even tell what he was saying right now. Yuwon buried his face completely into the large cushion.

― Got it. Let’s talk for 30 more minutes.

“…Okay.”

Though he had spoken with a small amount of courage worth just 5 minutes, Hyun Gyujin gave him back 30 minutes. Yuwon raised his head slightly and, with his lips buried in the cushion, listened to Hyun Gyujin’s low… pleasant voice coming through the receiver.

It was a night so warm and sweet that he didn’t even think of honey milk.

∞ ∞ ∞

Waking up 30 minutes earlier than usual, Hyun Gyujin styled his hair while looking in the mirror. He usually styled his hair when going to school, but today it was a bit more serious.

“What’s with this room?”

Hyun Gyujin’s mom, who brought a ham and cheese sandwich into his room, had a surprised look on her face at the pile of t-shirts lying on the bed.

“What got into our Gyujin that he’s dressing up so much from the morning?”

“Mom, how’s my hair?”

“Pretty. It’s pretty, but why are you really dressing up so much? How many t-shirts did you even pull out? Aren’t they all just the same white t-shirts?”

“They’re completely different. Too much lettering looks tacky. Logo plays are a bit much, too. Ah, I need to buy some clothes.”

“Should Mom buy clothes for you?”

“I want to go buy them myself. Ah, Jeong Yuwon likes this sandwich too.”

“I packed Yuwon’s portion already.”

Smiling as if he knew she would, Hyun Gyujin emptied a single glass of juice, packed his share of the sandwich as well as Yuwon’s sandwich sitting on the kitchen table, and left the house.

“Eat before you go.”

“I want to eat together with Jeong Yuwon.”

“Gyujin-ah, do you have a girlfriend? Dressing up looks suspicious.”

He didn’t get a girlfriend, but he did get a boyfriend. Swallowing the words pooling in his mouth, Hyun Gyujin shrugged his shoulders and stepped out of the house. Then he quickly got into the elevator and went down to the 6th floor.

“Jeong Yuwon. It’s me.”

Pressing the doorbell and waiting a moment, he heard footsteps. Hyun Gyujin liked this sound of footsteps approaching the door. He liked it when they were friends, and he liked it now. And he also liked seeing Yuwon through the opening door. He didn’t know why he liked it, but he just liked it, so he ended up smiling every time he came to Yuwon’s place.

“Why did you come out so early?”

“Mom gave me sandwiches, so I came to eat together before going.”

“Wow, looks delicious.”

Unwrapping the paper packaging of Yuwon’s portion of the sandwich and folding it so it was easy to eat, Hyun Gyujin carefully handed it to Yuwon so as not to spill.

“Thanks for the food.”

Taking a bite of the thick sandwich packed with ham, cheese, lettuce, and even tomatoes, Yuwon’s cheeks puffed up.

“It’s really delicious…. Auntie’s homemade sandwich is more delicious than bought ones.”

Every time Yuwon, who usually had a small appetite, ate something so deliciously like this, Hyun Gyujin felt extremely satisfied. It was a useless thought, but he was suddenly curious. If he felt this satisfied watching Yuwon eat, how satisfied must his aunt and uncle feel?

“Oh, your hair is a bit different today?”

Taking another small bite of the sandwich, Yuwon moved his mouth while chewing as he looked at Hyun Gyujin’s hair.

“It’s pretty. It suits you well.”

At the compliment that came out even before he asked how it looked, Hyun Gyujin momentarily lost his words. It suits me well? Am I handsome? He wanted to say various playful things, but when he actually heard that he was pretty from Yuwon, his heart dropped with a thud. The effort he put into trying to look better since the morning was overwhelmingly worth it.

“Is it pretty?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty.”

Yuwon, who touched it very gently so his hair wouldn’t get messed up, smiled. Even though he had heard that he was handsome many times, the word ‘pretty’ was extremely unfamiliar to Hyun Gyujin.

“Is only my hair pretty?”

He wanted to be praised more by Yuwon. He wanted to hear the word ‘pretty’ more, and he wanted to see him smile looking at him even more. Even though it was a face he had seen countless times, it was as fresh and heart-pounding as if he were seeing it for the first time.

“…Your face is pretty too.”

Ah, crazy. Seriously. What do I do? Jeong Yuwon is seriously fucking so pretty. He’s really just sparkling.

“You’re prettier.”

“…”

“Why. Do you dislike being called pretty?”

“…It’s not that…”

“Yeah. It’s not that?”

“…I just felt like we’re really dating now.”

Resting his chin on his hand with his elbow on the table, Hyun Gyujin silently focused all his senses on Yuwon’s voice.

“What does that mean? Did you think we were only dating yesterday and not today?”

“Because I dreamed that you asked me out yesterday…. When I woke up in the morning, I was a bit confused.”

“If that was a dream, you’d have to suffer emotionally starting today again; would you be okay with that?”

Ah…. Emotional suffering. Yuwon recalled his time when he was heavily downcast for a while, yet fluttering and thrilled the whole time, making it so hard. He disliked going back to that time again.

“I’m not okay with that. I hate it…”

“Yeah, me too.”

“…”

“You’d dump me again and go around with other bastards. How could I watch that sight again? I hate it.”

Pressing down with his fingertip on the space between Hyun Gyujin’s brows—which was crumpling as if he hated just thinking about it—Yuwon took another bite of the sandwich.

“Eat meals with me, go to the canteen only with me, and go home together only with me. I’ll keep dropping you off at the hagwon, and when it ends, I’ll go pick you up to go home together. Play with me on weekends, too. If you study, I’ll study too. If you go to a café, go together with me, and also…”

“Isn’t that just doing everything together with you all day long?”

“Right. Do everything together with me.”

Grabbing Yuwon’s empty hand resting on the table, Hyun Gyujin bit his fingertips lightly without hurting him. Yuwon, who blankly watched his fingers being bitten between Hyun Gyujin’s lips, quickly folded his fingers and pulled them out.

“You smell fucking good even from your hands. That smell coming from your room. It comes from your blanket too, this.”

Gently grabbing Yuwon’s hand that had escaped from his hand again, Hyun Gyujin put his nose to his wrist and smelled it. It smelled very cozy and warm. When he was young, he thought Yuwon smelled like clouds. Because whenever he saw white, soft-looking clouds, he always thought of Yuwon.

“This is all mine now, too. I hate that other bastards know it. I want to smell it alone.”

Yuwon, who blankly watched Hyun Gyujin lightly kissing once on his palm and once on his wrist, nodded his head. He didn’t want to share this kind of feeling with anyone either, unless it was Hyun Gyujin.

“…I hate that other people know it too.”

“…”

“I wish only you knew.”

Hyun Gyujin’s lips, which had been touching Yuwon’s wrist, touched over the protruding bone. When he pressed down with his lips, opened them, and bit down lightly without hurting, his fingers shrank back.

“It’s exhausting being pretty from the morning, isn’t it?”

“…There you go with weird talk again.”

“If you hate hearing that, you shouldn’t be pretty.”

Kissing his wrist again with a mwah sound, Hyun Gyujin caressed Yuwon’s flushed cheek. Cheeks and ears flushed red out of shyness, lips moving every time he ate his sandwich, and even his gaze that dropped straight down in surprise whenever their eyes met while glancing at him once in a while—there was not a single thing that wasn’t lovely.

What do I do, seriously? I like him so much. Softly rubbing over Yuwon’s prettily protruding wrist bone, Hyun Gyujin smiled. Without a doubt, it was the best morning.