NCBF Ch 8

He originally wore things like hoodies or windbreakers often, but today for some reason he looked even better in it and looked handsome, so Yuwon kept thinking of him over and over again. That was a shirt he had never seen before earlier…. He said he bought new clothes, so did he buy that earlier? It looked good on him, though…. How can he look so handsome no matter what he wears?

Yuwon, who closed his eyes because his thoughts, which linked endlessly in a chain reaction starting and ending with Hyun Gyujin, felt so overwhelming, let out a long sigh again. What is seriously wrong with me…. He asked himself several times, but there was no clear answer coming back.

Yuwon opened his eyes, his shoulders flinching at the chilly air. It seemed he had fallen asleep at his desk while thinking about Hyun Gyujin. Closing the window that was still open, Yuwon rubbed his arms and left the room. Thinking that he should quickly do his homework while making and drinking a cup of warm cocoa, he was startled upon seeing a dark, large object lying on the living room sofa while walking toward the refrigerator. Ah, right. Hyun Gyujin.

“You still haven’t left?”

He was originally quite stubborn, but today was really incredible. Over the cocoa topped with marshmallows that was filling his head, Hyun Gyujin covered it up. Yuwon turned his steps away from the kitchen, went to the sofa, and shook Hyun Gyujin, who had his eyes closed.

“It’s late. Hurry up and go. Go sleep.”

“If you answer, I’ll go.”

“Wow…. Do you really have to hear it to know?”

“Yeah. I have to hear it to know.”

Yuwon, who completely gave up half of his stubbornness or whatever, flopped down onto the floor near where Hyun Gyujin’s face was and glanced at his face with closed eyes. In the midst of feeling fed up because he was an unyielding stubborn mule, he wanted to do something about his own mind that thought he was handsome. Along with his heart pounding for no reason.

Until falling asleep at his desk, he only thought about Hyun Gyujin, and while resolving not to, he still thought of him, and while looking at himself acting like that, he felt a sense of crisis and worried so much, yet as if he had never done that, as soon as he saw his face, he felt pathetic for thinking he was handsome. What should I seriously do about myself.

“I don’t like him.”

Giving up completely even on the feeling of ‘Can’t you just yield to me!’, Yuwon simply gave the answer Hyun Gyujin wanted to hear. Of course, that was also his true feeling.

“Why would I like Teacher.”

Only then did Hyun Gyujin’s eyes open. Looking at the ceiling for a moment, Hyun Gyujin turned his body, lay on his side, and looked at Yuwon. Looking at Hyun Gyujin watching him with a much softened gaze, Yuwon showed a smile mixed with his breath.

“Whenever he says anything, you smile for him.”

“That’s basic courtesy. Since you don’t smile for him, I smile at least.”

“Even when he touches you here and there, you stay still.”

“Don’t speak weirdly. Touched where…. Who says things like that were touched.”

Yuwon sincerely couldn’t understand Hyun Gyujin’s words. No matter how much he tried to understand, the word ‘touched’ sounded far too impure, so he couldn’t interpret it at all.

“Here and there.”

“I’m asking where.”

When he asked back because he was truly curious, a hand approached. Yuwon tried hard not to get nervous, looking at Hyun Gyujin’s hand approaching him. Even though it was a futile effort.

“Here.”

A long finger approached and pressed his left cheek without causing pain. And moving to the side, it touched his right cheek as well.

“Here too.”

“…”

“And also here.”

At the feeling of all the folded fingers opening up to cover his head, Yuwon couldn’t even breathe properly for a moment. He remembered Teacher stroking his head when he made a joke or when he solved a problem well. His cheek… when did he touch his cheek. Ah, he had a memory of having his cheek pinched once—really just once—without pain, like being scolded when he forgot and didn’t do his homework. It seemed he only now understood why he hadn’t understood and interpreted Hyun Gyujin’s words at once. It was because in the first place, he had never thought of that behavior as important to keep in his memory, and he had never thought that such behavior could be expressed as touching.

“…Why do you touch me, then.”

“Because we’re friends.”

“…”

“I’m allowed to do that.”

Whether because of the word ‘friend’ or because of the fingertip lightly touching his cheek again, Yuwon’s heart fluttered. They were indeed friends, a refreshed fact he knew all too well, but his heart, which was shaking wildly right now, was not that of a friend. It felt like it wasn’t. Yuwon stared at Hyun Gyujin, unaware that his eyes were shaking wildly. It was indeed the Hyun Gyujin he knew so well, but strangely, he felt unfamiliar.

“…”

He had to say that it tickled, that everywhere his hand touched was so hot, so stop it, but no words came out. Yuwon, staring blankly eye-to-eye while touching his cheek, felt a finger touching his ear and pulled back his shoulders. The hand that brushed his ear like that went down and touched the back of his neck.

It felt like he could hear the sound of the fingertip rubbing against his skin. Was it an illusion? Yuwon felt his lower abdomen tighten firmly at the feeling of the finger moving a little further down and trespassing inside his hoodie.

“You endure it well.”

“…Huh?”

“Doesn’t it tickle? You get tickled easily.”

“Ah…. It, it tickles. So stop it and hurry up and go.”

Yuwon, standing up from the floor, looked at Hyun Gyujin, who stood up while touching the back of his neck. Inside his stomach felt ticklish, the back of his neck and various parts of his body were hot, and his mind was completely scattered. It felt like he should drink a cola with lots of ice instead of warm cocoa.

“Should I sleep over?”

“No, you don’t have to…. I can just do my homework and sleep.”

“You’re all grown up, Jeong Yuwon. Up until last year, you clung to me begging me to please sleep over.”

“When did I.”

“There was even a time you called at dawn and cried. ‘There’s a ghost next to the closet. I can’t go outside the blanket. Come quickly.’”

Yuwon, who pushed the back of Hyun Gyujin teasing him while imitating his crying voice to the entrance, watched his long back opening the door, put on slippers, and stepped out the door together with him.

“Why?”

Yuwon, who closed the door while watching the elevator coming up from the 1st floor, stood on the tips of his toes wearing slippers for no reason and poked the floor repeatedly.

“You said you wanted to be seen off like this too….”

“When did I. I meant why do you discriminate between me and Lee Junseo.”

“That’s the same thing. Anyway, since I did this for you too, don’t say strange things anymore.”

Not long after Hyun Gyujin shrugged his shoulders, the elevator arrived and the doors opened. Yuwon pulled out one hand and waved it to Hyun Gyujin entering the bright elevator.

“Go in. Send a text if you don’t want to be alone.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Their eyes met through the closing elevator doors. Yuwon felt embarrassed for no reason by the gaze met until the doors completely closed, so he bent his legs right then and there and sat down. As he buried his flushed face above his knees and covered his hot ears with both hands, the wildly pounding sound of his heart could be heard even louder.

I must really be crazy. Why am I like this…. Now even just making eye contact makes everything jumbled up like this, so what do I really do…. Yuwon, letting out a long breath, lifted his face buried in his knees and looked at the elevator stopped on the 12th floor. It seemed his heart had also followed Hyun Gyujin and gone up to the 12th floor. Seeing how out of breath he was.

“…”

When are you gonna come down…. Yuwon waited for his heart, which had followed Hyun Gyujin, to return to him. However, even when the elevator staying on the 12th floor went down to the 1st floor and headed again to the 10th floor, 14th floor, and 5th floor, his heart did not return.

∞ ∞ ∞

Even after doing his academy homework, taking a shower with warm water, drinking cocoa in a cozy mood, and even brushing his teeth, his mood was still dazed. Yuwon, who cleaned the emptied cocoa cup and set it aside, moved his steps back to his room. Because he suffered from an unfamiliar, strange pounding and tension he had never felt before, he was even more tired today.

Gyujin

Gyujin

u sleeping?

u okay being alone?

should i go over?

Yuwon, who turned on the stand next to the bed and climbed onto the bed, checked the texts while hugging a cushion. If a stranger saw it, all the worrying and taking care Hyun Gyujin did would probably look strange. Because he was always worrying the kind of worry one would do for a young child. Who would worry greatly about an eighteen-year-old high school boy being at home alone for a bit without his parents.