NCBF Ch 38

Not long after, Yuwon took pictures of the waffle topped with three scoops of ice cream—strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate—and the churros that arrived. And Hyun Gyujin captured Yuwon taking pictures of the dessert in a photo. He was cute to begin with, but today he thought Yuwon was continuously cute to a serious degree.

“This is really delicious…. You try eating some quickly too.”

Yuwon, who cut the waffle into small pieces with a knife and ate it with the strawberry ice cream, opened his eyes wide. Finding that reaction cute and laughing, Hyun Gyujin shameless opened his mouth wide, ah. It wasn’t a new behavior, just a trick he pulled occasionally, but whenever Yuwon was in a good mood, he would actually lift food and put it into his mouth.

About seven times out of ten, he would try to put an empty fork in his mouth or wad up a tissue to stick in, but today he seemed to be in a good mood. Laughing as he watched Yuwon diligently cutting the waffle into a bite-sized piece to put in his mouth and topping it with vanilla ice cream, Hyun Gyujin opened his mouth again to accept and eat the warm, cool, and sweet food. And he laughed as he looked at eyes shining with expectation.

“It’s really delicious. Let’s come again next time.”

“It’s delicious, right? Do you want to try the churros too?”

Lifting a long churro and blowing hoo-o once for no real reason, Yuwon bit off a mouthful of the tip. And as if that was delicious as well, he pushed it forward in front of Hyun Gyujin’s lips too. Hyun Gyujin also opened his mouth and bit off a mouthful right above the portion Yuwon had eaten a moment ago. Warm and sweet just like Yuwon’s reaction, the churro was really delicious.

“This is delicious too. We can come often.”

“Yeah, when going home after hagwon ends, we can eat this while going. Right?”

“Yeah. Eat a lot.”

Taking another bite, Yuwon fed Hyun Gyujin another bite as well. Matching Yuwon’s action of sharing peacefully bite by bite, Hyun Gyujin quietly opened his mouth. While it was partly because the churro was delicious that he kept eating, he loved this small and peaceful time they reclaimed so much that he just wanted to do everything Yuwon asked to do.

Hyun Gyujin, who fed the small remaining end into Yuwon’s mouth, softly wiped the sugar left on his lips with his fingertip. And he sucked his thumb, where that sugar had transferred to, with a mwah. At that casual action, Yuwon’s face turned noticeably red.

“I have a lot of things I’m curious about.”

“…”

“If I ask, will you tell me everything?”

“…Yeah.”

“What should I ask first. Hmm….”

Gently grabbing Yuwon’s fingertips resting on the table without holding his fork, Hyun Gyujin softly rubbed over his fingernails. Yuwon’s gaze touched over that hand and then touched over the waffle again. The number of times he blinked increased, and the temperature of the breath flowing between his parted lips also grew a bit higher.

“When did you know? That you like me.”

“Ah…. Hmm…. Suddenly, looking at you made me tremble so much. You were the exact same as usual, but I wasn’t the same…. Even if you came just a little bit close, I felt so embarrassed… because it happened suddenly…. I realized it after thinking about it. When that was…. Hmm, around when I left early because I was sick?”

“Ah…. Then. Was telling me you dreamed about me also because you like me?”

When the dream story came up, Yuwon’s fingertips shrank back. Hyun Gyujin unfolded those bent fingertips and trapped them inside his hand again. So that he could never hide or run away again.

“…From a certain day on… you kept appearing in my dreams every day. I wondered how you could appear every single day, but you really appeared every day…. It must be because I like you that you appeared, right?”

“Did you do naughty things with me in your dream?”

Having completely trapped his fingers in his hand, Hyun Gyujin was now touching Yuwon’s wrist bone that poked out slightly with his fingertips. Strength went into the tips of Yuwon’s toes, which were curled up inside his white socks.

“Should I ask this kind of thing later?”

“…Yeah.”

“Got it. Then something else.”

Laughing as he watched Yuwon, who took a deep breath with noticeable relief at the words that he would ask something else, Hyun Gyujin stood up from his seat altogether and moved over to sit in the seat next to Yuwon. There was no one around, and well, even if someone were there, he wondered what it mattered.

“Give me your hand again.”

When he spread his fingers to grab the hand that had slipped away while moving seats, Yuwon’s hand was placed quietly. Hyun Gyujin closed his hand to lock in the warmth.

“Why did you come to like me?”

“…I don’t really know that well either, but….”

“What’s this, there’s no reason?”

“Back then in front of the canteen… because Lee Woojun said weird things to me, you fought with him.”

Hyun Gyujin tried hard to recall Lee Woojun’s face. Because he was such an impactful crazy bastard, recalling his face wasn’t easy.

“Yeah. I did.”

“Back then, when I told you to stop, you looked at me and… asked if my mood had gotten better.”

“Yeah. I remember.”

“…Hearing those words made my heart go thud….”

Ah, fuck. He says his heart went thud. Hyun Gyujin let out a groaning sound.

In the 18 years they spent as friends, the roughly 12 or 13 years that remained in memory, he had never talked about things like this with Yuwon. They hadn’t brought up conversations regarding romance to the point where it was strange why they hadn’t. Even without that, there was plenty to do, and spending time together was enjoyable.

In a word, it was the first time—listening to Yuwon’s romance talk. But that person being himself…. It didn’t feel like reality, but his heart seemed to recognize that it was indeed reality, as he felt so insanely good he thought he would go crazy.

“Why was that? It wasn’t the first time you asked about my mood…. Must I say that it felt like my mood was the most important thing to you….”

“That’s right.”

“Huh?”

“To me, your mood is the most important.”

Ah…. Again…. Yuwon felt his heart drop softly with a thud again. It was strange that ‘softly’ and ‘thud’ coexisted, but that was how his heart felt right now.

“These aren’t words meant to play smooth talk, it’s really like that to me. I don’t know from when it became like that. But from some point on, it became like that. If you feel good, I feel good too; if you don’t feel good, I don’t feel good either. If you’re hurt, I feel upset; if you smile, I want to smile too.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah.”

“…I feel good.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Asking playfully following Yuwon, Hyun Gyujin smiled as he watched the clear face delivering the same answer as him.

“I thought it was just like this for everyone if they were close. We weren’t just close, but friends since birth, so naturally I thought everyone else would be like this with friends like this, but they said no.”

“…”

“I thought it was just words said to tease, but it turns out it was real. So thinking about it, I couldn’t do a single thing I do to you to other kids.”

“What kind of things?”

“Hmm, touching your face like this is one thing, always going together without fail when going to school or going home is another, and staying by your side all night if you’re sick is another.”

Raising the hand that had been caressing his wrist bone to rub Yuwon’s soft cheek, Hyun Gyujin smiled at the face turning flushed following his touch.

“Have you never thought like that?”

At Hyun Gyujin’s question, Yuwon carefully recalled the actions he did to Hyun Gyujin. While he didn’t frequently do actions like touching his face the way Hyun Gyujin did to him, he was still definitely on the side of doing more physical affection than he did to other friends. Holding his arm, lying down without hesitation resting his head on his thigh, and also sleeping in the same bed as a matter of course, or hugging his waist from behind. Could he do those actions with other kids?

No, he couldn’t. He had no intention to, and doing such actions felt extremely strange. How these actions—none of which felt strange with Hyun Gyujin—felt so ridiculously unbelievable was truly fascinating.

“I see…. I don’t think I could do it with other kids.”

“For example, what kind of things?”

“Holding hands like this is one thing, going to school together every single day is another…. If another kid waited in front of the hagwon like that, it would be scary and I’d hate it.”

“It’s fucking scary. It reminds me of that bastard who waited holding flowers before. Ah, seriously, so annoying.”

Just recalling that shitty face that waited holding flowers saying he loved Yuwon made him feel like he was going to explode with rage. Hyun Gyujin tried hard to calm down his heat by taking a large scoop of cold ice cream and eating it.

“Don’t get angry. Knowing that I go around with you, he doesn’t do that anymore.”

“It’s less than before, but your P.E. clothes still disappear. Last time, the milk you left after drinking disappeared too.”

“We just need to be careful.”

“If you think like that, you should go around with me. Why do you go around avoiding me like that?”

Gently pinching and shaking Yuwon’s nose before letting go without hurting him, Hyun Gyujin rested his chin on his hand and made eye contact with Yuwon with a sulky face.