NCBF Ch 32

Because he was turned on. It was a phrase that didn’t bring much thought when he just heard it occasionally, but attaching it to Yuwon made the words feel so vulgar and dirty. To the point where he couldn’t forgive Choi Haeyoung for attaching such a thing to Yuwon, how dare he, fucking hell.

Still, while he was already bringing it up, if he thought about it a little more…. Honestly, this made no sense either. Why would Yuwon be turned on, that is, turned on, just by his touch?

Although they had spent countlessly many moments touching until now, there had never been a single time like that. Except for the recent month or so, really, not even once, not even for a moment had he ever been so awkward, reading his mood, and shrinking his body away like that. That being the case, why on earth…. Why?

Did he suddenly come to dislike his touch? Because he smoked? Because he smelled like cigarettes? Because he was worried his hands might smell like cigarettes, too? No, if it were for that kind of reason, Yuwon would have told him. Though weak as weak could be and gentle as gentle could be, Yuwon was still a personality that definitely said what needed to be said. Hyun Gyujin really liked Yuwon’s resolve that existed within that weakness. That firmness of knowing how to raise his voice to say what’s not right isn’t right, if he dislikes something he dislikes it, and what’s wrong is wrong.

Why on earth did Jeong Yuwon come to dislike him?

Jeong Yuwon, shrinking his body away when his touch lands on him. Jeong Yuwon, who said he dreams about him every day, yet brushed those words off as if they were nothing. Jeong Yuwon, who keeps avoiding being alone with him. Jeong Yuwon, whose every spot touched by his gaze turns red whenever he gets close. Why on earth, why did he come to dislike me….

Dislike?

Shrinking because he dislikes touching hands, dreaming about him every day because he dislikes him, avoiding because he suddenly dislikes being together with him, and his face turning red because he dislikes making eye contact? Because he really dislikes it? If he dislikes it, why does he keep dreaming….

“Ah….”

No. That might not be it.

The opaque wall that had been suffocatingly wrapping around his thoughts as if an answer were about to come out broke apart.

Could it be that it’s not because he dislikes it?

The moment he turned his head in a direction he couldn’t possibly think of after bringing up only all kinds of negative reasons, everything about Yuwon that he had seen and passed over as no big deal all this time came to mind.

His pupils that trembled when their eyes met, his body that approached a bit closer as if being held when he supported him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, his gaze that landed continuously on his face rather than the drink when he received the bubble tea, and Yuwon’s face that approached close to his own after making eye contact for a long while on the quiet emergency staircase….

“…I see. He has no choice but to avoid me.”

“What are you talking about, all of a sudden.”

“It’s nothing.”

Hyun Gyujin, who slid his body and leaned against the chair, let out a breath as if it were absurd and shook his head. How could he be this stupid. To not know anything even after seeing that face and that behavior.

Questions from Kim Junjae and Choi Haeyoung followed, but Hyun Gyujin thought of Yuwon the entire time without answering anything. His friend, who was probably having an uncomfortable time even now with Lee Yunseong, whom he chose to avoid him.

∞ ∞ ∞

Hyun Gyujin decided to leave Yuwon alone for now. Because he needed certainty.

Just as it was hard to understand that Yuwon suddenly came to dislike him, it was also not an easy task to put full weight behind the conjecture that Yuwon was acting like this because he suddenly came to like him with feelings different from a friend. Having spent 18 years, really every moment of life that remained in his memory together, the fact that he suddenly came to like him was also a reason that didn’t make much sense.

However, if he had to put the two side by side, the possibility that he came to like him was definitely greater than the side that he suddenly came to dislike him. Well, it could be his paranoia, though.

Whichever ending he would see, for now he wanted to know for sure. Because only then could he make the choice after this. If it’s because he dislikes it, he could just keep a distance together so Yuwon feels comfortable, and if it’s because he likes it….

“…”

An answer for that didn’t come up right away. Hyun Gyujin quietly stared at Yuwon’s empty seat. Since he left the classroom making a fuss about that damned hagwon homework, he was probably together with Lee Yunseong or whatever right now as well.

No, can’t he do his homework if that bastard isn’t there? Is Lee Yunseong or whatever a teacher? Is a problem not solved if the two of them don’t do it together? Why does he definitely have to do something together with that bastard?

Hyun Gyujin, who brought up in his head the words he really wanted to say while looking at the empty seat, sighed. Honestly, he disliked it because it felt like his friend was taken away by Lee Yunseong. He disliked Yuwon suddenly widening the distance, and he disliked him going to school alone.

He disliked him eating tteokbokki with a hagwon friend without even telling him their name, saying it was a kid he didn’t know, and he disliked him acting distant. At first, he thought it was all because of Lee Yunseong and because of the shitty hagwon, but in truth, this was all because of Jeong Yuwon. So Hyun Gyujin wanted to know. The reason Yuwon’s attitude suddenly changed so noticeably.

Whether that end was the end of an 18-year friendship or his paranoia, whatever it really was, he intended to see the answer. To do that, he needed time to observe Yuwon’s behavior a bit more. So Hyun Gyujin suppressed his hurt today as well, quietly accepted that damned hagwon homework excuse, and nodded.

For the moment of a refreshing solution that would come to him before long.

∞ ∞ ∞

“Spacey-Yuwon really had a hard-core affair. It’s not at the level of returning to the family, but a divorce angle?”

“Shut up.”

“No, but come to think of it, I feel like this might be normal.”

“What is.”

Kim Junjae, who perched in front of Hyun Gyujin’s desk, tilted his head sideways.

“No, usually this is right. You guys are the weird ones.”

“So what is. What’s weird about us.”

“Everything is weird. Always commuting to school together, going home together, going to the canteen with him, if he’s sick staying hunkered down in the nurse’s office together, and definitely having to eat meals with him.”

“Why is that weird.”

“Then is it not weird? And the weirdest thing is that, picking him up when that hagwon ends.”

Even leaving Kim Junjae and Choi Haeyoung aside, all the kids he had known until now used to say that he was exceptional and over the top. Hyun Gyujin didn’t listen carefully to those words every time. Because there was no need to listen. He simply thought it was words said to tease him and Yuwon.

“What’s weird about that. You know Jeong Yuwon easily attracts perverts. He almost suffered at the hagwon, too. Knowing all that, isn’t it obvious? Would you not do that if Choi Haeyoung were like that?”

“I wouldn’t. Well, I’d be worried. Even if I ask how he is to see if he’s okay, how can I match that time every single time continuously to pick him up and drop him off? I couldn’t even do that for a lover.”

At the words that he couldn’t even do it for a lover, Hyun Gyujin received a pretty big shock. Without even having to go that far, just thinking of Yuwon, it was a thing he had naturally, really so naturally wanted to do, but that it looks weird in another person’s eyes….

“Is that really not just empty words, does it look weird?”

“Hey, it’s simple. If a pervert attaches to me, can you drop me off at home and stuff? Sleep at my house?”

“Are you crazy? Call the police.”

“Ah, right. Isn’t that response real tension.”

Hyun Gyujin received a bigger shock at his own answer from a moment ago. He had never thought about it before, but it seemed his behavior toward Yuwon was indeed something special. It was just a thing he voluntarily did because it was so natural and he liked doing so, but that it was a thing possible exclusively for Jeong Yuwon….

“That’s why when I first saw you guys last year, I really thought you were dating. I wondered if you were fucking gay, but then it seemed like that wasn’t it again…. Ah, seriously, I alone pondered like crazy.”

Could it normally be that one wants to protect a friend, wants to guard him, and be a bit like that? Hyun Gyujin fell into deep thought as he recalled his relationship with Yuwon, which he came to look at from a new perspective. Kim Junjae’s voice blabbering in front of him was heard no longer.

“Hey, just one more thing.”

“What.”

“Do you ever find Choi Haeyoung cute?”

“Even for an example, fuck. Then do you ever find me cute?”

“Piss off.”

“It’s the same, you crazy bastard.”

Ah, Jeong Yuwon is fucking cute, though. Because he’s cute, I keep wanting to tease him, I want to pinch his cheeks, and I want to be with him. Ah, what is this.

Do I like Jeong Yuwon…?