NCBF Ch 35

Was it because he had seen so many perverts looking at Yuwon that way, knowing how filthy and disgusting such a thing was? For no real reason, Hyun Gyujin turned on the cold water to wet his fingertips, which felt like they were burning. It was nothing else, just having touched the hem of his P.E. top, yet his fingertips were so hot.

“…”

The sound of water dripping—drop, drop—from the faucet sounded strangely loud. Had he ever heard a sound like this in his life? Leaning against the closed restroom door, Hyun Gyujin checked the time. There were still about 15 minutes left until class ended. Besides, lunch was right after, so even if he spent all of P.E. class waiting for Jeong Yuwon, there would be plenty of time to talk.

“…”

Time flowed unusually slowly today. When it felt like about 5 minutes had passed, he checked the time only to see that barely 30 seconds had gone by, and when he thought 5 minutes had truly passed this time, a single minute had elapsed. By the time he felt like he had been waiting for about a year, a rustling sound came from inside the restroom. Not long after, Yuwon, whose eyes were rimmed red, slowly walked out.

“What you said just a moment ago…”

“Don’t… don’t bring that up…. If you bring that up again… I’m never going to talk to you ever again.”

Ah…. His ears turned red again. Looking at Yuwon’s reddened ears, Hyun Gyujin clamped his mouth shut and nodded his head, filled with a firm determination to never mention it.

“It’s going to be lunch time soon. Do you want to eat first and then talk?”

“…I don’t want to eat. You go eat…”

“I’m not hungry either. Then let’s talk first.”

“…I don’t have anything to talk about with you…”

“As if?”

Speaking as he tilted his head sideways while looking at Yuwon, Hyun Gyujin grabbed Yuwon’s wrist without hurting him, deciding this wouldn’t do.

“…Why…”

“I’m doing this because I’m worried you’ll run off, why.”

“…I won’t.”

“What do you mean you won’t? Seeing you earlier, you ran off just fine. Think of it as handcuffs. Let’s go. What is this, doing this in the restroom.”

Holding his wrist, Hyun Gyujin unlocked and opened the restroom door, then checked the hallway. Fortunately, class wasn’t over yet, so the hallway was very quiet.

“…Where are we going?”

“The art room.”

“Where you smoke?”

“Yeah.”

Looking at the back of Hyun Gyujin, who led him without moving in a rush and walked up the stairs slowly, Yuwon bit down hard on the inside of his lip. He was so embarrassed that he wanted to run away after showing a side of himself he should never have shown to Hyun Gyujin, but the hand leading him was so gentle that he couldn’t pull away. Yuwon quietly moved his feet one step, then another step, fully receiving Hyun Gyujin’s consideration.

No sooner had they stepped into the quiet art room and closed the door than the bell signaling the end of class rang. Yuwon looked at the fabric refresher sitting on the edge of the window frame and let out a soft, breath-like laugh. Occasionally, Hyun Gyujin smelled like fabric softener, as if he had just done laundry, and it seemed it was because he sprayed that.

“Now talk.”

“…Whaaat…”

“Seriously, why are you being like this lately?”

He wanted to answer casually and escape this situation, but honestly, having come this far, that seemed impossible. Yuwon tapped the toe of his sneaker—which he hadn’t even been able to change out of—against the art room floor.

“Avoiding me while making bullshit hagwon excuses, telling me not to come pick you up. And now to cap it all off, running away blatantly right in front of my eyes—do you really have nothing to say to me?”

“…Next time… can I really tell you next time?”

“No. I won’t give you time. You’re just going to think of an excuse to get out of it anyway.”

Surprised, Hyun Gyujin grabbed the wrist of Yuwon, who was taking a subtle step back, pulling him closer to stand in front of him. He then narrowed his legs as if trapping Yuwon inside.

“…D-Don’t do this…”

“Then who told you to run away?”

“…Let go of this…”

He tried gently shaking his wrist that was held by Hyun Gyujin, but Hyun Gyujin did not let go. The moment Yuwon accurately confronted the situation of standing between Hyun Gyujin’s legs with his wrist caught, heat surged through various parts of Yuwon’s body again. Yuwon quickly ducked his head to hide his face that felt burning hot.

“…Let go quickly…”

Looking at Yuwon’s unfamiliar appearance, Hyun Gyujin was convinced—convinced of the reason why Yuwon had suddenly treated him like a stranger all this time. Honestly, he had been convinced since he was in the restroom earlier, but if that was 90%, it was 100% now.

“Look at me.”

“…I don’t want to.”

“I told you to look.”

Just as Yuwon subtly raised his head, only to duck it deeply again, unable to bring himself to make eye contact, Hyun Gyujin’s finger touched Yuwon’s chin. In that instant, a tingling sensation swept through his entire body. Startled, Yuwon took a large step back from Hyun Gyujin. It felt like he had been completely caught while acting like a fool.

“I thought it couldn’t be, but.”

“…”

“Jeong Yuwon, you like me, don’t you?”

‘By any chance, do you like me?’, ‘Is it that you like me?’, ‘You like me, don’t you.’ Yuwon had imagined various follow-up phrases, but the words that came out of Hyun Gyujin’s mouth were something Yuwon had not expected at all. At those words delivered with such absolute conviction, Yuwon couldn’t even make the rebuttal of “no” that he had planned to offer as a default, and merely stared blankly—really blankly—at that face.

“…How did you know?”

“For over ten days, every time you see me you avoid me so noticeably, you bounce away if a hand so much as touches you, and your neck turns red just from me whispering in your ear once—how could I not know?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“For what.”

“…It must feel bad. You must be dumbfounded…”

Perching on the art room desk, Hyun Gyujin swept the dust piled up on top of the desk with his fingertips and fell into thought for a moment.

With a face that looked as if he were about to cry at any moment, Yuwon simply awaited Hyun Gyujin’s judgment. They had been friends since the day they were born, they had met up and hung out as families uncountably many times, and though not when they grew up, back when they were young they had bathed and slept together often—so it would be difficult for Hyun Gyujin to easily accept that feelings of love had suddenly developed.

Yuwon knew there was a high possibility that he might lose feelings for him, or feel disgust, making it impossible to even maintain a friendship anymore. That was why he had tried his best to sort out this unconfident heart of his, but because he hadn’t done it properly, it had ultimately ended up in this worst-case scenario. Yuwon truly could not believe the situation unfolding before his eyes.

“…”

What if he says we should stop being friends? If Mom and Dad ask why Gyujin hasn’t been seen lately, what do I say? We’re in the same class at school so we’ll see each other every day, how can I face him….

Should I try telling him even now that it’s actually not true, that it was a joke? No, I’m really bad at acting like that, so it’ll only make the situation worse…. What do I do, what should I do? If he says it feels bad, if he says we should stop being friends….

“That’s right. I felt bad. Because you went around avoiding me.”

“…”

“Because you made up ridiculous homework excuses all of a sudden and hung out with Lee Yunseong. Going around eating tteokbokki with some bastard I don’t know, and even on tutoring days, telling me to come right before tutoring starts.”

“…”

“Hardly looking at my face, and flinching at the slightest touch of a hand. If you were me, wouldn’t you feel bad?”

“…I’m sorry….”

And it feels bad that you like me, too. Yuwon braced his heart as he pictured the words that would follow in advance. Trying hard to soothe a heart that wouldn’t be soothed, telling himself those were words he would hear anyway, that it was only natural, so he wouldn’t be too overly shocked when he actually heard them. Of course, his heart, beating painfully fast, didn’t listen to Yuwon in the slightest.

“…”

“…”

The silence lingering for a moment was intentionally created by Hyun Gyujin to calm his heart, which was pounding wildly from excitement. Now that he had received confirmation that Yuwon liked him, he felt so good he thought he might go crazy. A childhood friend of 18 years liked him—liked him with feelings beyond a friend—and rather than flusteredness or awkwardness, the feeling of being insanely happy came first before anything else.

Well, he wondered if such a thing was even possible, but he was just happy. He felt like he could die of happiness. He didn’t know what he had won at, but it felt like he had conquered the whole world.

That Jeong Yuwon liked him. That all those actions that had hurt his feelings were done because he liked him. His heart swelled so much it was overwhelming to handle. Hyun Gyujin slowly tilted his head as he looked at Yuwon, who bowed his head like a criminal while waiting for his answer.

“I felt fucking bad about you avoiding me and stuff…. But I don’t feel bad about you liking me, though?”

“…Really?”

“Yeah. Jeong Yuwon, come here.”

At the unexpected answer, Yuwon’s eyes grew round. Hyun Gyujin gestured for Yuwon to come closer.

“…”