DOGC Ch 20

“Next, eggs!”

Watching the shopping basket, Yeonwoo disappeared somewhere again. It seemed that children’s excitement levels generally rise when they come to the supermarket. He also vaguely remembered feeling happy when he went grocery shopping with his mother as a child.

“I’m so busy I could die.”

“But it’s nice to see, isn’t it? When he was at the mansion, he was always so dejected, it was heartbreaking.”

“Yeah. It’s better this way, actually.”

Then Yeonwoo had changed his own destiny with his own hands, and also saved someone else’s life. That was enough. He hoped that the child would not have to suffer from guilt in the future.

Suddenly, Yeonho put his arm around Seorim’s shoulder. Isn’t this too public of a place? There weren’t many people around, but as a figure frequently exposed to the media, he was cautious.

Even when Seorim glanced around and tried to pull away, Yeonho did not let go. He brought his lips to the shell of his ear and whispered lowly.

“Being like this feels like we’re married.”

“What are you talking about.”

“Why do you keep trying to pull away.”

“People are watching.”

Peck, lips pressed against his temple and then pulled away.

“So what if they see.”

“It’s a bit… Mr. Ryu Yeonho, you’re a celebrity.”

“Who cares. We have plenty to be embarrassed about between us after all we’ve done.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Yeonwoo returned with eggs and cheese in his hands. The way he smartly picked out the groceries they needed to buy was like a clever puppy. Seorim gently pushed Yeonho away and stroked Yeonwoo’s hair.

“Thank you. We finished early thanks to Yeonwoo.”

“Yeah!”

Finally, they added some croaker, and the grocery shopping was finished. While they were checking out, Yeonwoo said in an excited voice.

“Hyung-ah, I want to make it!”

“Do you know how to make omurice?”

“I don’t, but I want to try.”

Then should I teach him while we make it together. While Seorim was pondering the answer, Yeonho, who was putting ham into a large bag, answered casually.

“Okay. I’ll eat what you make.”

Once permission was granted, Yeonwoo looked so happy he seemed about to jump up and down. Omurice, omurice. He even made up a song and sang it.

Seorim felt his chest warm as he watched the two of them. A slightly boisterous happiness. For a moment, he had the thought that it would be nice if he could protect this for a long time.

🦅

As soon as they entered the house, Yeonwoo excitedly ran to the kitchen.

“Hyung-ah, give me the ham, quickly!”

Just a little while ago, he had approached hesitantly and shyly, but now he was like a baby chick scurrying around. When they first met, he had messed up his entire mind with his chirping.

Seorim let out a sigh mixed with a laugh and unpacked the grocery basket. Potatoes, onions, ham, eggs, ketchup. After placing them one by one on the sink, he rolled up his sleeves. Yeonwoo also rolled up his sleeves with his tiny fern-like hands and stood next to him.

“Hyung-ah will get things ready for you. What do you want to do first?”

Yeonwoo’s eyes sparkled brightly like stars.

“I’m going to crack the egg.”

“Okay.”

Seorim took out a small bowl and placed it in front of Yeonwoo.

“You have to be careful when you crack it. So that the shell doesn’t get in.”

“Okay!”

With a slightly nervous expression, Yeonwoo held an egg with both hands and tapped it on the edge of the bowl. But unfortunately, he couldn’t control his strength as well as he thought, and thwack, one egg burst. The yolk and white mixed together and slid down the back of his hand.

“Aack!”

Yeonwoo let out a single scream. Seorim quickly grabbed a kitchen towel and wiped his hand.

“It’s okay, it’s fine if one breaks.”

Yeonho, who was watching from a dining table chair, said in a calm voice.

“Yeonwoo just sent one baby chick to heaven.”

He must be a crazy bastard.

Startled by those words, Yeonwoo’s eyes widened, and Seorim stroked his hair to signify that it was okay. As always, that your hyung was just saying something weird.

Fortunately, Yeonwoo seemed to not mind and cracked the second egg. This time, the shell broke properly.

“Wow, you did a good job.”

When Seorim clapped, Yeonwoo shrugged his shoulders with a proud expression.

Seorim and Yeonho were in charge of the ham and onion. Seorim chopped the ingredients into small pieces, and Yeonho preheated a pan for frying. Yeonwoo stood in front of the pan with a spatula in one hand.

“Be careful with the fire.”

Seorim wrapped his hand around Yeonwoo’s, guiding its direction. Soon, the small hand began to shake the spatula, diligently frying the ingredients. The ham and onion touched the oil and began to give off a savory smell.

As expected, fried rice becomes a plausible dish as long as you have the basic components.

“Let’s add the rice.”

Yeonwoo carefully tipped the rice Seorim handed him into the pan.

“Now, ketchup!”

The ketchup, squeezed out with a firm press, coiled on top of the rice. Yeonwoo, his face flushed reddish, smiled purely. Yeonho, leaning against one side of the kitchen, watched the two of them and muttered softly.

“Feels like we’re really living like people for a change.”

After all, the chances of this kitchen being used must have been remote. Because the expression on his face as he spoke seemed quite peaceful, Seorim felt relieved.

The final step of the omurice was to cover it with a lid of egg garnish. When Seorim passed the thinly fried egg to Yeonwoo, the child’s hands trembled, but he did his best to cover the rice with it.

The shape was clumsy, but a pretty decent-looking omurice was completed. Yeonwoo raised both arms high and exclaimed.

“Ta-da!”

“Woooow.”

“I made it!”

“That’s really amazing.”

Is this how you’re supposed to praise a child. He wasn’t sure if he was treating him properly. Meanwhile, Ryu Yeonwoo’s actual blood-related guardian was leisurely observing this scene while drinking water.

Seorim plated the freshly made omurice and set it down. Yeonwoo took his own plate and trotted over to the seat next to him.

“Can I sit here?”

“Of course.”

Yeonwoo quickly climbed onto the chair. Leaning his small elbows on the table, he looks down at the omurice he made, as if proud.

“Let’s see if it’s well made.”

Yeonho lifted his spoon and took a mouthful of omurice along with the egg garnish. Following his lead, Seorim also scooped up some rice and tasted it. The soft egg and tomato-scented fried rice mixed in his mouth. It tasted much better than he had expected.

“It’s delicious.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Yeonwoo made it well.”

Yeonwoo smiled so widely it seemed the corners of his mouth would reach his ears. Across from him, Yeonho also readjusted his grip on his spoon and replied.

“You should be a chef.”

“A chef…!”

A warm energy spread over the dining table. Seorim watched Yeonwoo, who sat closely beside him, eating his rice diligently. The sight of him not even minding the grain of rice stuck to his cheek was cute.

Seorim gently swept the soft cheek with the back of his hand and wiped off the grain of rice. Yeonwoo smiled brightly and said.

“It’s delicious. I like hyung-ah.”

“I like Yeonwoo too.”

“I want to keep living together.”

Keep, together.

He thought that since the child liked it this much, there was no reason they couldn’t live together. However, since he was not the owner of this house, the ultimate decision-making power lay with Ryu Yeonho. Seorim couldn’t readily agree and slowly brought the spoon to his mouth.

After finishing the meal, Yeonwoo seemed to have lost his energy in an instant and leaned his body against the sofa.

The child who had been chattering and laughing nonstop just a moment ago was now nodding off by the time they finished cleaning up.

Seorim quietly approached and stroked Yeonwoo’s head. The feeling of the not-yet-fully-grown body heat made his heart stir.

A young child was so fragile, and above all, warm, and untainted and pure. It would be nice if he could keep his smile like this forever.

After a moment of hesitation, Seorim opened his mouth.

“Yeonwoo, can’t we bring him here?”

Yeonho put down the cup he was holding on the table and looked at Seorim. His gaze naturally drifted down to Seorim’s stomach. Although it wasn’t big yet, the convex line under his thin t-shirt was noticeable.

Taking a low breath, Yeonho asked calmly.

“Will you be okay? Soon, a baby who is much younger than him and needs a lot of care will be living with us too.”

“……”

“Aren’t you just now trying to live your own life?”

Not knowing what to say, Seorim silently caressed his stomach. Yeonho continued to speak.

“Just the birth of Haenam is a big enough event. I don’t want to tell you to raise two kids.”

The words were calm, but the sincerity underlying them was clearly revealed.

Seorim pitied Ryu Yeonwoo and wanted to embrace him and live with him. However, there was a reality that couldn’t be embraced with emotions alone.

“Let’s take some time to think about bringing Yeonwoo here. You can see him whenever you want.”

Ryu Yeonho himself couldn’t be at ease leaving his only remaining blood relative in someone else’s house. In fact, his desire to live with Yeonwoo might be even greater than his own.

The tone was firm, yet it was never cold. It felt like a choice made out of concern for him, which paradoxically made his heart feel fluffy, as if it were rising like bread dough.

“And to me, there are three kids.”

“Why three?”

“Including you.”

It was absurd, but he had to partially agree. It still seemed that Ryu Yeonho was much more of an adult than Baek Seorim.

Seorim pointlessly stroked Yeonwoo’s forehead with his palm. The sound of the child’s purring breath filling the empty space of the living room was cozy.

The weekend evening sun was setting just like that.

🦅

[Should we eat out tonight.] 5:40 PM

On a normal afternoon, after his art class ended, his mobile phone rang. When he checked, there was a simple text message. Asking to eat dinner out. Come to think of it, since coming to Seoul, the two of them had never eaten out together.

He sent a reply saying he understood. Because his company work was so busy, Ryu Yeonho usually returned home long after a typical office worker’s quitting time.

Would there be any restaurants open late. While organizing his art supplies, Seorim looked out the window at the still-bright sky.

Not long after, his mobile phone vibrated again.

[I’m here. Come down.] 6:12 PM

It was a much earlier return than expected. It seemed he had sent the first message on his way home from work in the first place.

For the unplanned outing, Seorim hastily fixed his hair. So sudden, anyway. If he was going to come home early, he could have at least told him in the morning.

He fumbled to put on an outer coat and left the front door. While waiting for the elevator, he fiddled with his stomach for no reason. Recently, he had gained weight and his belly had gotten quite big.

The doctor said that around this time, mood swings would become severe. He did feel that he had become somewhat more irritable. Since he was there during the check-up, he wondered if he was trying to be considerate.

“……So unlike you.”

Contrary to his words, the corners of his lips gently curved upwards.

The underground parking lot was quiet. The sound of Seorim’s footsteps spread across the concrete floor. While he clutched his bag strap with one hand and looked around, a short honk sounded from somewhere.

When he turned his head, a silver sedan was flashing its headlights.

Seorim walked quickly to the car and opened the door. Warm air filled the interior. As he carefully settled into the passenger seat, Yeonho glanced at Seorim out of the corner of his eye.

“Aren’t you cold?”

“Not really. It’s spring.”

“Still, be careful in the evening. It’s a pain if you catch a cold.”

Seorim nodded vaguely. Yeonho turned his gaze forward again and started the car smoothly.

“By the way, where are we going?”

“On a date.”

“I know it’s a date, but where are we going?”

“Hmm.”

Yeonho rested his chin on his hand and tilted his head slightly. The watch on his bony wrist reflected the light and sparkled.

“Finding Baek Seorim’s lost time.”

He had clearly asked where they were going, but now he was even more confused. Seorim opened his lips, then closed them without adding another word.

Twenty minutes passed as they drove on the road like that. The car bypassed the busy city center and entered a secluded alley.

At the end of it was a small restaurant that looked subtly expensive even from the outside. The sign was modest, but the ivy climbing the building’s exterior walls seemed to hold the long passage of time.

The car stopped in front of the restaurant entrance. Yeonho, having rolled down his window, exchanged a few words with the valet parking attendant and then handed over his key. Seorim got out of the passenger seat, yawning.

“Let’s go.”

Yeonho lightly grabbed Seorim’s wrist and led him. His hand naturally slid down to interlace their fingers. The series of actions was so natural that his face felt hot for some reason.

Inside the restaurant, under the soft lighting, a few customers were quietly enjoying their meals.

Instead of chatter, soft music and the smell of baked cheese filled the air. Seeing that there was also a subtle hint of tomato scent mixed in, it seemed to be a restaurant that primarily served Italian food.

An employee who came out to greet them led the two to their reserved table. On the table were neatly arranged water glasses and a small flower vase.

The food came out quickly even though they hadn’t ordered separately.

A plate of pasta with a light tomato sauce, a thin-crust margherita pizza. Seorim’s eyes widened as he looked down at the table.

“Did we come to eat pizza?”

“That’s right.”

“But why is this my lost time?”

“How long has it been since you’ve had pizza?”

Seorim stopped his hand that was holding the fork and thought for a moment. Come to think of it, not only when he was at the mansion, but also when he was rolling through the omega brothel district, he had never even seen such food.

Money was one thing, but this kind of food was hard to eat alone. Seorim smiled slightly as he twirled some pasta onto his plate.

“It’s been a very long time. Almost several years.”

“Since you had it in high school?”

“Yes. Though it wasn’t a fancy place like this.”

So that’s why he said he would find his lost time. He had a cute side to him. Yeonho, without a word, picked up a slice of pizza and placed it on his plate.

“How did you find out about a place like this?”

“I came here before and the food was good, so I wanted to bring you to try it once.”

The fact that he had even thought about it separately was unexpected. The coexistence of a crazy, psycho-like side and a gentle, meticulous side—a person’s personality is truly three-dimensional.

“Thank you, for taking care of me.”

Hearing the reply, Yeonho twirled some pasta, brought it to his mouth, and then mumbled.

“I brought you here to my side, but I don’t know what I should do for you.”

“Pardon?”

“It’s not easy. Being good to you.”

He wondered what this meant. He was already being treated so well it was burdensome, so what more was he planning to do. Seorim furrowed his brows seriously and said.

“You’re already being good to me.”

“Am I?”

“You gave me food, clothes, and a house, how can you be any better than this.”

After seeming to think for a moment, Yeonho tilted his water glass and wet his throat. Then, in a casual tone as if discussing an everyday problem, he said.

“With just that, I’m not much different from my father.”

“……”

“I wish I could be someone different to you.”

Suddenly, a scene from a past conversation flashed through his mind.

‘The people who approach me all have the same purpose. Mr. Ryu Hyunjoon, and your father.’

‘…….’

‘You too.’

What was his response to that. He seemed to recall him saying, ‘You have no eye for people,’ in a hoarse voice, with a vaguely frustrated expression. He had never imagined he would have kept it in his heart until now.

“You are different.”

Seorim said in a small but clear voice, looking down at his own fingers clasped on the table.

The attitude Ryu Yeonho showed and the emotions reflected in it were a completely different kind from Chairman Ryu’s. Even when he had thrown those words at him, Chairman Ryu and Ryu Yeonho were clearly different. He must have said something so sharp because he hadn’t wanted to admit that all along.

Yeonho silently put down his water glass. He looked at Seorim for a while, and Seorim met his gaze without avoiding it.

For a while, they faced each other like that, and then Yeonho was the first to let out a short laugh.

“That’s a relief.”

Seorim picked up a slice of pizza that had cooled to lukewarm, the cheese having dried and stuck. As they each shared the food, a silence that was neither heavy nor light filled the table.

After the main course, ice cream and coffee came out for dessert. After scraping up even the ice cream, his stomach was full with a sense of satiety, and his body felt sluggish.

“I want to take a walk.”

If he went home and fell asleep like this, his already sluggish body seemed like it would become even more lethargic. Yeonho, who nodded in agreement with Seorim’s words, finished paying the bill.

After leaving the restaurant, the two of them did not return to the car but went up a quiet hill road. As they walked hand in hand to a higher ground, an observatory came into view from which the surrounding scenery could be seen at a glance.

The city lights were spread out colorfully under the night sky. Yellow, white, red. The numerous hues of lights twinkled like distant stars, embroidering the darkness.

“There’s a place like this behind the restaurant.”

“I didn’t know either. It was a good idea to come.”

Even though it was spring, the air became quite chilly as night fell. Seeing Seorim fiddling with his cold cheeks, Yeonho wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Ryu Yeonho’s embrace was broad, firm, and uncharacteristically warm.

“You.”

“Yes?”

“Aren’t you bored staying at home all the time?”

At the unexpected remark that was far from what he expected, Seorim made a quizzical expression. Lowering his chin to meet his gaze, Yeonho continued speaking.

“Because I can’t be by your side every day. Even if you’re learning to paint, you must be bored alone.”

“I think I might be bored.”

“Do you not have friends?”

Isn’t it rude to ask if he has friends. He doesn’t have any either. Seorim unknowingly bit his lower lip gently, revealing his displeasure.

Even seeing his crumpled face, Yeonho asked in an unconcerned tone.

“Do you want to go to university next year?”

“University?”

Seorim asked back reflexively. He was puzzled as to why he was suddenly bringing this up.

“You probably didn’t finish. Or go back for art.”

“Is it okay even though I have a baby?”

“What’s not okay about it. You’re still young, you have to live your own life too.”

It was something no one had ever said to him. That you too should live your life. Lightly, as if it were a matter of course. Just as his heart was about to get choked up, Yeonho added, very shrewdly and at the same time, firmly.

“But dating is not allowed.”

Seorim flinched at the words that were immediately layered on top. The gaze that intertwined in the empty air is so unwaveringly calm.

“Anyway, even if you go to university, there’s no bastard better than me.”

“There will be plenty of people younger than Mr. Ryu Yeonho, though.”

“This little brat, really.”

When Seorim showed a mischievous smile, Yeonho raised a hand and tousled his hair. After ruffling his hair once or twice, he said nonchalantly.

“Think about it. Don’t worry about other things and always put yourself first.”

While it was absurd, a slight smile appeared on his lips. Seorim smoothed his disheveled hair with his palm and curved the corners of his eyes slightly.

“Mr. Ryu Yeonho, thank you.”

After composing his breath as if tidying up a part of his heart, Seorim said in a slightly clearer voice.

“The things Mr. Ryu Yeonho is giving me now, I don’t have the ability to repay them right away. But I will definitely return everything after some time passes. I will consider it a large debt.”

“What are you returning.”

“A relationship where I only receive things makes me uncomfortable. Even if I work myself to death, I will never be able to earn as much as Mr. Ryu Yeonho, but still.”

They were sentences that honestly unfolded the thoughts he had buried in his chest, like a confession whispered under his breath.

“I will be indebted to you for a while, but like this, I can’t be myself.”

“……”

“I want to be able to say no to Mr. Ryu Yeonho. I want to eat kimchi jjigae instead of doenjang jjigae. I don’t want to kiss today. I like something else more than this. Things like that.”

Listening to him speak, Yeonho loosened the hand that was gripping Seorim’s shoulder. And he watched the talking Seorim without a word.

“I don’t want to live by begging and acting anymore.”

Because he had lived for so long deceiving others and himself. From now on, he wanted to face the world with a comfortable and clear conscience.

“Of course, it wasn’t all good things with Mr. Ryu Yeonho, and there were times I was incredibly annoyed. Well, there were also times I really wanted to beat you to death……. But still, I won’t forget it. The help you gave me.”

The person named Ryu Yeonho was wholly 담겼다 in Seorim’s jet-black pupils.

“Thank you.”

“……Anyway, you really.”

Yeonho raised a hand and wiped his dry face. He moved his lips as if he couldn’t easily bring himself to speak, then muttered lowly as if swallowing a bitter laugh.

“What are you thankful for, when you’re carrying a child you didn’t even want.”

“Still, deciding to give birth was my choice.”

Within the short sentence, a vague fear and determination were mixed and revealed.

“What did you trust.”

“Rather than trusting anything, well, I have no eye for people.”

He returned the exact words he had heard from Ryu Yeonho earlier, which he had recalled while eating. Seorim looked down at the night view spread out beneath his feet and said.

“So I’m going to be prepared. To be able to live on my own.”

After seeming to think for a while, Yeonho held a faint smile on his lips.

“No. You do know how to judge people.”

A hint of laughter was in his voice, but at the same time, a gentle weight was also carried with it.

“I’ll make it so you don’t regret it. Stay by my side.”

The words he threw landed in the center of Seorim’s chest with a heavy warmth. Instead of replying with words, he bobbed his head up and down.

The city lights passed by slowly. He didn’t know yet which way the road was headed, or what would happen in the future, but in this moment, he was not the least bit anxious.

Subtly, at a pace of their own, they were passing through the night.

🦅

Stay by my side. I’ll make it so you don’t regret it.

Belying the evening of a certain day that had a good atmosphere, Seorim had not seen a glimpse of Yeonho for over a week.

After giving a heads-up that he would be a little busy for a while, that man did not show himself in the evening or in the morning. He could only guess that he was coming home at all from the feeling of being embraced in his sleep.

But from a few days ago, he hadn’t been coming home either. He tried calling, but the mobile phone was off, and there was no reply to his texts.

What in the world is this situation.

At first, he thought he could be busy. Taehwa Construction was one of the leading construction companies in South Korea, and Ryu Yeonho was effectively the leader guiding them. And the company was facing a major crisis.

Considering how many people’s livelihoods depended on that man’s shoulders, no matter how competent he was, it must be a time when even five bodies would not be enough.

So he waited without complaint. As a human being, he naturally felt disappointed, but he tried to handle it maturely. He thought that he now had to become a parent, and since Ryu Yeonho was already an adult, only he needed to grow up.

Still, shouldn’t he at least know what he was doing, whether he had starved to death somewhere, fallen into a ditch, or gone to prison?

And so, Seorim called the secretary.

— Oh, did you not hear?

When he asked where Ryu Yeonho was, the secretary showed a surprised expression.

— Executive Director Ryu is on an overseas business trip. He is probably in Malaysia right now.

“Malaysia……?”

— If you have urgent business, shall I ask a local employee to relay it to him?

“No, it’s alright.”

If he goes overseas, shouldn’t he say that he is going overseas. The man who was so meticulously attentive to other useless things had no common sense in this area.

Does he think it’s not necessary to tell me?

Well, they lived together and he was carrying Ryu Yeonho’s child, but it was not a clearly defined relationship. They were not lovers, nor were they married.

But still. Is it okay for him to act like this after acting so desperately that he even came to find him in Haenam?

Baek Seorim was probably a pretty special person to Ryu Yeonho. Judging by his actions, it was certain that he was pouring his devotion into him. It seemed he cherished him quite fondly too. Considering all the money he had spent and the losses he had incurred, it was an impossible course of action unless he had a considerable place for him in his heart.

The way he spoke was also like that. Seeing that guy with that extraordinary way of speaking talk relatively affectionately, he clearly seemed to cherish him.

Thoughts followed thoughts, but no definite answer emerged.

Seorim spent two more days like that, bored, empty, and at times, anxious. He killed a few hours by soothing his boredom with the TV or by drawing.

During those two days, a call did come from Yeonho.

— Are you having fun?

“I thought you were dead, Mr. Ryu Yeonho.”

— I’ll be back soon. Is there anything you want?

“No.”

It was a short call. Originally, he had planned to get angry or act coldly if he called. But as soon as he heard his voice, his heart weakened.

He didn’t know how his emotional circuits were wired, but the feeling of gladness came first, and he ended up expressing affectionate resentment rather than anger. Even that couldn’t last long.

— Okay. Make sure you eat. Wait for me.

With those words, Ryu Yeonho ended the conversation. He didn’t know how many minutes he had stared at the blank screen of the mobile phone. He felt like a puppy waiting for its owner.

Still, he said he would be back soon.

He had a mountain of things he wanted to say. The baby seems to be kicking. How busy could work be that you don’t even come home. Look at the drawing I did. I don’t want to go to the check-up alone.

It seemed he wanted to receive attention from Ryu Yeonho. After receiving attention to the point of being overwhelmed and sick of it every day, when it was suddenly cut off, the void felt too large.

If this was Ryu Yeonho’s method of training, he was an incredibly skilled man.

He lay face down on the bed, turning the mobile phone screen on and off repeatedly. It’s not like the phone would ring just because he did that, but he did it for no reason. He didn’t know any other way to soothe his empty fingertips.

That evening.

Seorim sat alone on the sofa and picked up the remote control. Without any thought, he flipped through the channels, looking for something to watch.

A variety show, a drama, the news. The boring screens flashed by quickly. None of the programs brought him any particular interest.

In the end, Seorim stopped the TV on a random channel and turned over to lie on his back. He thought he would at least fill the silence with some sound.

— Well, spring has come around again, hasn’t it?

— That’s right. It’s the season of love. Even non-existent love cells are blooming. Right?

— Pink spring, a sweet breeze was blowing in the entertainment world as well.

A broadcast about a scandal involving a certain famous actor and an idol brushed past his eardrums. Since he was lying down facing the wall, he couldn’t see the screen. It was said that a picture was taken of an idol coming out of some actor’s house.

“So careless……”

Seorim muttered like a customer fitting in with gossip while huddled together in a hair salon.

— Then again, there have also been cases of accidentally uploading couple photos on social media.

— How are they all dating so well?

— Haha, it’s spring.

Next came a story about idols getting caught by their fans after making their relationship obvious through each other’s social media accounts. Not interested. A yawn escaped.

He closed his eyes with the thought that it would be better to just sleep. The broadcasters’ excited chatter faded away indistinctly.

— There was a hot new scandal recently, wasn’t there?

— That’s right. It’s not the entertainment world, but there’s some exciting news from the political and business circles as well.

— It’s the youngest daughter of a current National Assembly member famous for her beauty. The news is that Ms. Han Yeoun is secretly in a relationship.

— Oh, she resembles Assemblyman Han a lot, she’s such a beauty.

At this rate, he would fall asleep right away. Just as he was about to be dragged away by drowsiness, one comment pierced Seorim’s eardrums.

— And her partner is none other than Taehwa Construction’s Executive Director Ryu Yeonho, they say?

Huh?

A name he had never imagined popped out. Surprised, Seorim’s eyes flew wide open and he sat bolt upright. The remote control that had been on the cushion fell to the floor with a loud thud.

— The two are known to have had a secret meeting in Malaysia.

— Oh my, the picture, the picture.

Forgetting to even increase the volume, Seorim stared intently at the screen.

In the background material, blurry photos taken at what looked like the main entrance of a resort or a luxury hotel lobby were shown one after another. Since they were taken from a distance, their faces were not clearly visible from the silhouettes, but the broadcaster added in a confident tone.

— According to a source, the two are already coordinating a meeting between their families.

— They’re a handsome man and a beautiful woman.

— It is also being speculated that Executive Director Ryu’s recent disappearance from the management front line is not unrelated to this relationship.

A photo of a man and a woman’s silhouette taken from a distance was shown on the screen again.

— They are a very well-matched couple, I hope we hear some good news soon.

The host’s lighthearted comment floated in the living room air.

Seorim was frozen like ice, unable to take his eyes off the screen. As background material, photos of Ryu Yeonho and the National Assembly member’s youngest daughter appeared alternately. They were a terribly well-matched pair.

What in the world is this situation?

He wasn’t angry, nor did he feel a sense of betrayal. It was more dumbfounding than that.

He had always come straight home after work and stuck by his side, and before that, he had spent all his time in Haenam, so when on earth did he date that young lady?

Did he go on a business trip to Malaysia and fall for her there?

“This, this bastard……?”

The more he tried to force a sense of reality into the unbelievable scene, the more absurd it became. Seorim hit the armrest of the sofa with his fist and stood up. Belatedly, heat rose, and he walked a few steps toward the window to cool his face.

Of course, he knows. It’s not like Ryu Yeonho can split his body in two, and seeing as he was constantly by his side, there’s no way he was actually dating.

At best, it was probably some useless gossip that happened in Malaysia, or a rumor that was forcibly pieced together.

His head understood it that way, but his emotions were different. His stomach just felt sore.

He knew it well himself. The gap that lay between the woman on the screen and himself. The distance of a world that could not be crossed.

No matter how you looked at it, Ryu Yeonho was a better match with that person. An opponent with outstanding beauty, a solid background, and who was socially impeccable. She was a person who had everything that Seorim lacked.

Realizing that you have been dreaming is always this cruel. It felt like his naively inflated emotions were immediately thrown down to cold reality.

Seorim looked out the window. The countless flickering city lights blurred his vision.

Is Ryu Yeonho really, okay with me?

If you reasoned it out coolly, the answer was obvious. If he was even a little bit sane, if he was a slightly more prudent and rational person, he would never draw a future with someone like that.

An omega who lived as his father’s concubine, and who happened to have a child after having a relationship during a rut cycle. A life with nothing to show for it to anyone.

He couldn’t provide any help to the other person, neither socially nor economically. In fact, it would be a relief if he didn’t cause harm.

The person Ryu Yeonho truly needed was not a shabby existence like him, but a partner who shone wherever they went. Like the youngest daughter of that National Assembly member. He felt his self-esteem become a crumpled piece of paper, slowly shriveling up.

Nevertheless, he wanted to believe.

Even while knowing all this, even while fully understanding it with his reason, from somewhere in the middle of his chest, a voice instinctively and tactlessly cried out, ‘It can’t be,’ ‘That’s not possible.’

It hurt because he wanted to believe, and he was afraid because he wanted to hope. His thoughts kept heading in a bad direction.

Could it be that from the beginning, he was thinking of a future with someone else, and was planning to hide Baek Seorim away in some corner? The child currently in his stomach might be treated as a hanger-on as soon as he is born.

He hated just imagining it.

For a moment, Seorim was seized by an absurd impulse. Should I pack my bags and leave this house right now? Before Ryu Yeonho returns, before I get more disappointed and hurt. Waiting might be a foolish thing to do.

But…….

Seorim lightly clenched one hand. It is a ridiculous thing to give up on his own without even confirming. Hadn’t he not heard a single word from Ryu Yeonho yet?

To get scared beforehand and run away like this was an act of betraying the trust of both the child and him.

Seorim, who had been standing still and looking out the window, suddenly turned his head and looked at the kitchen.

Seorim had learned from his time in Haenam that when useless thoughts arise, he must move his body. So he began to tidy up the kitchen. In fact, it was so neatly organized that there wasn’t much to touch, but he made up things to do, like rearranging the tableware or wiping the seasoning containers.

As he did so, his irritation gradually subsided. Finally, after checking the trash can, Seorim tied the knot of the bag tightly, picked it up, and headed outside.

Soon, the front door opened, and the cool outside air seeped through the crack.

If only the complicated emotions that troubled his head could be tied up together like this garbage, it would be great, Seorim’s expression was completely hardened.

🦅

The next morning, Seorim stayed in bed and stared at his mobile phone for a long time. He didn’t want to run away. In the first place, he had promised not to run away anymore.

However, Ryu Yeonho was outrageous. He would be back soon, and before that, he needed a space to put down the lumpy emotions in his chest.

He fidgeted in bed and opened the search bar. The first thought he had was overseas. Anywhere would be fine, a country where no one could touch him. But soon, Seorim hit a realistic wall.

He didn’t have a passport.

Chased by creditors, rolling through the brothel district, and living like a fugitive moving from place to place, a passport was a luxury in that time. And since he was not in a position to enter any country illegally, his options were limited.

To think he hadn’t even been overseas once at this age. Even in a situation like this, the gap between him and Ryu Yeonho was keenly felt, and his mouth tasted bitter.