DOGC Ch 10

Leaving the mansion was impossible without borrowing his father’s power. In that case, there was only one remaining shoulder to lean on. Ryu Hyunjun.

It was fine even if he didn’t receive help all the way to Pyeongtaek Port. If he could just get out of the mansion grounds and into the city, he could take public transportation from there, whether it be a bus or a train.

What excuse should he make to leave the mansion?

His job was to think of a reason why he had to leave the mansion on the designated date. He didn’t know how many times he had buried his head into his pillow because of this.

To honestly plead in tears that he wanted to see his father was too risky. There was no telling what sort of action the seemingly unhinged Ryu Hyunjun would take upon hearing that.

He had to create a story that had a justifiable reason for going out, and one that would move the heart of Ryu Hyunjun, who currently wanted to be devoted to him.

“…Ah.”

Seorim, who had been groaning with his face buried in his pillow for a couple of hours, came to a conclusion. It was a plausible scenario, but one that had many flaws if you thought about it for just a moment. Inducing Ryu Hyunjun to believe it depended on his acting skills and charm.

Now that he had a plan, it was time to put it into action.

He took out the cell phone he had hidden under his pillow. And he entered the only contact saved in his phone into a text message.

[I have something to tell you.] 6:30 PM

As always, the reply arrived very quickly.

[What is it?] 6:30 PM

[I’ll tell you when we meet. There’s no one I can ask but you, Hyunjun.] 6:31 PM

[My heart’s fluttering because you said there’s no one but me?] 6:31 PM

Just reading the text message made his brow furrow on its own. They say there is a type of person who seems awkward and foolish no matter what they do, and Ryu Hyunjun was exactly that. On top of that, his mental state was not good either.

[Then I’ll wait for you in front of the lake after dinner.] 6:35 PM

[You can’t bring a nuisance with you again.] 6:35 PM

[Okay, I’ll be careful and go alone.] 6:36 PM

Today, he really had to be wary of his son-in-law. Ryu Yeonho was, in a way, the most difficult person to predict. The reaction Chairman Ryu would show if he found out was obvious, but Ryu Yeonho, you really couldn’t know what he would try to do, so he had to be careful.

For now, there was still time until the Ryu family finished their dinner. He had picked up a piece of bread a few hours ago, so he wasn’t hungry. He was gradually losing weight, and his face had become gaunt. Considering his future plans, this was actually a good change.

It was a bit strange why he was losing weight when he was eating more diligently than usual. Was he really sick somewhere?

With an emotionless expression, Seorim opened a drawer and took out a pill. It was a heat cycle suppressant. Looking at his cycle, his heat was coming soon, so he had to take a lot of suppressants in advance.

Before, when his cycle got this close, he would get a fever or his nerves would become sensitive, but this time it felt a little different. It was so calm, as if the heat cycle wasn’t coming at all, which made him wonder if psychological factors had affected his cycle.

Could that be possible?

Without thinking too deeply, he tossed the suppressants into his mouth. The pills scratched his dry flesh stingingly as they went down, making his throat ache.

Birth control pills, suppressants, he was shoving all sorts of medicine down his throat. He wondered if his body would be preserved by chemicals and not rot even after he died.

A self-deprecating laugh escaped him. After swallowing the pills without water, Seorim lay down on the bed and closed his eyes.

Strangely, he felt like he was sleeping a lot more too. Was his body really reaching its limit, even though he wasn’t even in his mid-twenties yet? Had he aged prematurely from being overworked so much?

He didn’t know for how many minutes he had dozed off like that.

When he opened his eyes again, the time on his cell phone indicated eight o’clock. He thought he had just closed his eyes for a very short moment, but he had slept for an hour and a half.

Seorim pressed his palms against his dry, stinging eyeballs and got up. It was time to face the cold winter wind once again.

By now, he felt like he could draw the path to the lake on paper with his eyes closed. This whole act would be over soon, too.

How pathetic.

The emotional toll was greater than when he was rolling around in an omega brothel. Back then, he didn’t have to rack his brain over useless things like this, and it was fine not to deceive others. Just how miserable was his life going to get?

He even had to be vigilant about whether someone was following him or not when he went outside. It was tiring to keep his nerves on edge the whole time. Seorim lowered his head deeply so that his sensitive emotions wouldn’t show on his face and relaxed his facial muscles.

After smacking his lips a few times, he lifted his head, and in the distance, he saw a figure standing by the lake with his hands stuck in his pockets.

He’s at least punctual, that’s for sure.

Although he was the one who had proposed the meeting, Seorim walked with the feeling of a pig being dragged to a slaughterhouse. The thought that he had to control his expression and the worry about whether he could act out the pre-planned scenario well became jumbled in his mind.

He let out a sigh disguised as a deep breath. White breath rose like a heat haze, painting an afterimage in the empty air.

“…Hyunjun.”

“Seorim, you’re here?”

Strange. Ryu Hyunjun’s complexion was growing paler by the day. It seemed that whatever had been tormenting him before had worsened and was eating away at his heart. He twisted the corners of his mouth up into an exaggerated smile that contrasted with his hollow eyes.

“It’s freezing, isn’t it? We should meet somewhere else from now on.”

“There isn’t really a good place for us to meet.”

“It does feel like this is the taste of a secret romance, though. I’ve never done it before.”

It was a relief that Ryu Hyunjun suddenly pulled him into a tight embrace, hiding his rotten expression. Seorim slowly patted his back, which smelled of strong perfume. They were this close, yet he couldn’t feel his pheromones much. He was also an alpha, but it was so different from Ryu Yeonho’s.

“I missed you, Seorim.”

“Yes… Me too.”

“I don’t have anywhere to lean on emotionally these days. Seeing you, Seorim, is a comfort.”

It seemed certain that he was feeling considerable anxiety about his well-being. Seorim silently stroked his short-cut hair, then planted a kiss on Hyunjun’s forehead with a smack sound. As if he had received a baptism, Hyunjun wore an ecstatic expression.

“I’m glad that I can be a comfort to you.”

“You’re like an angel. How can a person like this exist?”

“Thanks to you, Hyunjun, I’ve been so happy lately, too. This is the first time I’ve felt this way.”

“Isn’t it because you like me so much?”

Every time he opens his mouth, it’s bullshit.

“I guess so.”

Ryu Hyunjun hugged him again, so tightly it was suffocating. His squeezed ribs were starting to ache. After finishing his selfish embrace, he opened his mouth again with an excited expression.

“So, what is it that my angel needs to ask for?”

My angel…

At the absurd title, Seorim flinched before barely managing to compose his expression. He was so momentarily appalled that he almost forgot the scenario he had prepared.

“It’s not that, cough.”

“Have you been out in the cold for too long?”

“No. I’m just not feeling well.”

At the words “not feeling well,” a worried look quickly spread across Hyunjun’s face. He didn’t know who was worrying about whom with eyes full of burst blood vessels. To avoid revealing his dry gaze, Seorim had to fix his eyes on the empty space next to Hyunjun’s head.

“He says he’s been feeling quite unwell lately.”

How long has he seen me to say lately…

“I can see your face has become half its size. Are you very sick?”

“I was a bit hesitant to say anything because I thought you would worry, Hyunjun, but yes.”

“Where are you sick?”

Seorim slowly lifted his eyelids to look at Hyunjun, then let them fall weakly. He blinked his eyes a few times to make them moist, creating a pitiful, tearful face.

“I actually have an illness. It’s a rather rare disease.”

“An illness?”

“It’s a disease where the pheromones that collect in my body slowly destroy my cells. So I need to get regular check-ups and take medicine.”

It was a lie. There was no way such a disease actually existed, and even if it did, he didn’t have it.

“I think I’ve heard of it.”

Is he the type to just unconditionally agree with anything? For it to be social skills learned as a high-ranking executive of a large corporation, Ryu Yeonho was not like that. Or it could just be vanity.

Seorim, feeling both bewildered and suspicious, thought of his next line while pretending to cough.

“It costs so much money that, cough, I couldn’t tell Chairman Ryu. I was… I was afraid he’d throw me out for being defective.”

“Defective. What are you talking about.”

“I can live perfectly fine as long as I get my check-ups and take my medicine. But the date for that is coming up soon.”

Stopping his words, Seorim quickly scanned Hyunjun’s eyes and other non-verbal cues. In his curved eyebrows and the downturned corners of his mouth, he couldn’t sense any suspicion.

“Then you haven’t had a single check-up since coming to the mansion?”

“The cycle wasn’t full yet. I had one right before I came to the mansion. With the medicine, too.”

“I see.”

His voice also sounded like he was convinced. Seorim deliberately put on a sad expression to stimulate Hyunjun’s sympathy. Not too exaggerated, but enough to convey a bitter forlornness, so that he would feel pity.

“My cycle is coming up soon, but I can’t get a check-up. I can’t leave the mansion, and I’m scared to tell the Chairman because I might be thrown away.”

“Seorim…”

He strokes his forehead as if in pity. As Seorim silently remained sullen and stared at the ground, Hyunjun let out a sigh. He wrapped an arm around Seorim’s shoulders and tried to meet his eyes.

“Should I try talking to the Chairman?”

Has he lost his mind, this guy?

“No, you can’t. If the Chairman finds out we’re in a relationship like this, I’ll be.”

This bastard might be dumber than I thought. Am I in big trouble? At Hyunjun’s words, he felt the blood in his body start to flow faster. Did I pick the wrong breakthrough to get out of the mansion? But besides Ryu Hyunjun, there was absolutely no other way.

“Ah, right. I was being thoughtless. We are, after all, in a secret relationship.”

Ryu Hyunjun smiled sheepishly. Seorim narrowed his eyes, then his head became a mess, and he pressed a hand to his forehead. Thinking it was a gesture of enduring pain, Hyunjun grabbed his shoulder to support him.

“You have to go to the hospital, right?”

“Yes.”

“So was this what you wanted to ask for?”

“It seems there’s no one I can ask for help but you, Hyunjun. Because everyone else… isn’t interested in me.”

For a fleeting moment, Ryu Yeonho’s face flashed through his mind, which was a very strange thing. He had no way of knowing why he had suddenly thought of him.

If he had really been sick with such a disease and asked Ryu Yeonho for help, how would he have acted? Would he have taken him out of the mansion and to the hospital, or would he have laughed, saying something interesting had come up? Would he have been genuinely worried? Would he have not believed him at all, thinking a male prostitute was making up a lie to run away? Or, or.

“Seorim, are you in a lot of pain?”

“Ah, no. I’m okay.”

“We need to get you to a hospital quickly.”

He was lost in thought and momentarily missed Ryu Hyunjun calling him. He shouldn’t go too soon, though. His head wasn’t working properly because of his thoughts about Ryu Yeonho. Seorim barely managed to wring his brain and mumbled a plausible excuse.

“It’s better to get the check-up closer to my cycle. The results come out more accurately.”

“Is that so? I don’t know much about that kind of disease. I should look into it.”

“It’s not a common disease, so there probably isn’t much information on it. The tests can only be done at a large university hospital.”

He was just spouting nonsense, but the conversation was flowing somewhat smoothly. In fact, Ryu Hyunjun seemed to truly believe him, nodding and chiming in.

“Then I must help you.”

Hyunjun replied with a rather serious face. It was a relief that he was moderately foolish and also a little out of his mind. He wanted to express his gratitude to whoever it was that had clouded Ryu Hyunjun’s mental state.

“I’ll help you, Seorim. I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“Really?”

“Without the Chairman knowing. It’ll be our little secret. We can just go for a little while during the day.”

Because it was a hastily concocted scenario, he was worried what he would do if Hyunjun picked at the flimsy parts, but thankfully, there were no hitches in his plan. With a sense of relief, Seorim smiled faintly. Seeing this, Hyunjun grinned in the darkness, his white teeth clearly visible.

“I helped you, didn’t I, Seorim?”

“Yes, you’re my savior.”

“Then…”

The way he loosely curled his lips and stared with a sticky gaze, it was a sign that he wanted something in return, even without saying it in words.

Last time he gave him a kiss on the cheek, so this time he would probably expect a bigger reward. Should I give him a deep kiss? Seorim blinked his eyes a few times and placed a hand on Hyunjun’s cheek.

He tilted his head, and their lips were about to get closer. Ryu Hyunjun, who had been quietly steadying his breath, smiled gently and inserted his thumb between his lips.

As Seorim paused, he whispered in a low voice.

“Not that. Kiss me down there.”

To kiss me down there.

The meaning of the sentence was clear. And disgustingly enough, Seorim could not refuse this.

Everything has a price. In this world, there is nothing you can get for free, except for a parent’s love. Unfortunately, Seorim had not even received that.

He tried to force the corners of his lips into a pretty smile, but the muscles trembled. His eyes could not lie. Seorim looked up at Hyunjun with a cold gaze, smiled, and slowly lowered his posture.

As he knelt, the dew that had formed on the grass tickled his ankles. His exposed bare skin slowly became damp with moisture.

He closed his eyes. Seorim then enveloped Ryu Hyunjun’s lust with his mouth. The lump of flesh he held was unbearably fishy, slimy, and utterly unpleasant. This was how Baek Seorim lived.

🦅

If I tear open a pillow, rip the cotton, climb to a high place and scatter the remains, would it look similar to snow?

He had that thought while sitting by the window, watching the flurries of snow fluttering outside. He must be really bored to be having such strange imaginings. It was because time was passing so damn slowly. Recently, a day felt longer than a week.

“Cough, ugh…”

The draft coming through the window crack was cold. Seorim pulled the cardigan he was wearing more tightly around himself. He had been trying to act like a sick person, but unintentionally, a real dry cough came out.

Maybe he had become weak from treating his body so carelessly all this time. He had no intention of living a long life anyway, but it was still uncomfortable. If he had to choose between being frail and being sturdy, the latter was definitely better.

Seorim stared blankly down at his own arm, which looked like it had no muscle whatsoever. When he leaves the mansion, he’ll have to do manual labor at a construction site to make a living. Is this a bigger problem than he thought?

While idle thoughts tangled in his head, the snowfall grew thicker.

That night, Ryu Hyunjun, who had been satisfactorily fellated outdoors, was eager to help. The face that had wiped his semen-stained lips and delivered a sordid confession, saying, “Seorim, you’re beautiful. I love you,” was vivid in his mind.

When he subtly mentioned the date he had promised his father, Hyunjun said he understood and stroked the back of his head.

His appetite had returned a little recently, but the memory made him nauseous. Saying he was worried because he was sick, and all that, he was so engrossed in being fellated outside that he pulled his hair so hard. He thought all his hair was going to be pulled out.

At any rate, everything he could do was now finished.

All he had to do was wait for the day. He planned to act as naturally as possible, as if he were there but not there, doing what he always did, and then leave.

Please, if there is a god in this world, do not interfere with me. I’ve never received any favor from a god or an ancestor in my life, so can’t you help me just this once? So I can live like a human being for once.

After gazing at the snow piling up softly outside the window, Seorim looked away and left his spot. Looking at his cell phone for too long gave him a headache, so he wanted to read a book. There was nothing better for killing time.

I wonder if Chairman Ryu is in the library.

He rarely saw him there, so he thought it would be fine to just go in. With an emotionless expression, Seorim strode out of the room and headed for the library.

“Husband.”

He called for Chairman Ryu before knocking on the door. As expected, no answer was heard. He knocked on the door a couple of times, but there was still no response.

After confirming that the room was empty, he opened the door.

Although it was maintained, the library was a bit chilly. He looked up at the tall bookshelves to see if there were any interesting books. There were no titles that particularly caught his eye. He picked one at random, inserted his finger between the spines, and pulled it lightly.

What came out was ‘Pride and Prejudice’. It was a famous book, so he at least knew the title. The thickness was also suitable. By the time he finished reading this book, he would probably have left the mansion.

He was about to leave the room, but then Seorim paused and looked back at the library’s scenery.

This will be the last time I come in here. A day would never come when he would miss this life, but he wanted to commit it to memory. That he had been inside a chaebol family’s library.

The bookshelf, the carpet on the floor, and finally his gaze fell on the desk. Sunlight streamed onto the wooden desk, making dust glitter as it floated around. In the middle, a gray newspaper lay open as it had been left.

[Companies in successive fraudulent accounting controversies, leading to stock market crash…]

He remembered hearing a story when he was young about the head of a certain company who went to prison for taking responsibility for fraudulent accounting. It wasn’t a field he knew much about, so Seorim lost interest in the newspaper without much thought.

He came out into the hallway, clutching the book. The surroundings were silent, as if the falling snow had muffled all noise. It was partly because the mansion was unnecessarily large for the number of people living in it, but today it felt particularly quiet.

Were they all called outside to shovel snow?

It was a common occurrence for the inside of the mansion to be quiet, yet a strange anxiety arose. Was he just feeling guilty because he was planning to escape in secret? Since his life had never gone well, he had many worries.

His chest felt tight again. His stomach was bloated, too. He thought the cold air might make him feel a bit better.

He went back to his room, bundled up in as many clothes as he could, and then slowly walked outside. Because the area was surrounded by mountains, the wind was fierce.

“Sniffle.”

After coughing, his nose started running too. Seorim wiped the tip of his nose roughly with his palm.

The outside was just as silent. Judging by the fact that he couldn’t see anyone, it seemed they weren’t all out shoveling snow either.

Since it had been snowing since early morning, the ground was covered to the point where it was no longer visible. His steps reached the backyard. The flowers Yeonwoo had planted, the top of the parked car, and the bare trees were all covered in white snow.

A long time ago, when he was very young, around the time he was in elementary school, he didn’t have many toys due to his poor circumstances. So on snowy days, he was so happy because his toys increased. Snowmen and snow houses were a given, and what was so fun about it, he used to go around brushing off all the snow piled on top of other people’s cars.

Like back then, Seorim approached a car that was covered in snow. The snow was covering almost the entire body of the car, so he couldn’t even tell what color it was. He peeked his fingers out from his sleeve and swept the car. Soon, clumps of white snow fell off with a whoosh.

“Ugh, it’s cold.”

Seorim muttered so quietly it couldn’t be heard. This was the first time he had touched the snow that had fallen this year. He was surprised by how cold it was, but Seorim paid it no mind and focused on brushing the snow off the car.

It was when he was concentrating on clearing the snow piled up on the rear bumper. Suddenly, he felt a presence. Holding his breath, he could hear the sound of someone approaching, crunching through the snow, getting louder from a distance.

“Hic, ugh.”

He had not committed any wrongdoing, but Seorim unknowingly clamped a hand over his mouth.

He had done nothing wrong. But he also did not want anyone to see him like this.

His body, moving on its own, crouched down next to the car. What did I just do? I should have just acted naturally, but instead I ended up hiding like a guilty person.

His buttocks, sitting on the snow, felt cold. To his dismay, the unwelcome guest he had hoped would just pass by seemed to have come right up to the car. The sound of him walking around the car, stepping on the snow, was distinct.

Hiding here is actually stranger.

I should just get up. The moment he awkwardly raised his upper body, he heard a familiar voice from above his head.

“What on earth are you doing, over there.”

It was perhaps the voice of the person he wanted to hear the least. His gaze, which had been wandering aimlessly in the air, slowly rose to meet the unwelcome guest. Ryu Yeonho’s characteristic blunt gaze met Seorim’s.

It felt different from usual. It was as if the sense of unease that pervaded this mansion was also projected onto Ryu Yeonho.

“I asked what you are doing.”

A strange fatigue was etched into his beautifully shaped eyes. His already low voice was even more hoarse, and its end was cracking. What could have happened to make him look so tired?

As Seorim just stared up without answering, Yeonho narrowed his eyes. And slowly, he lowered his posture and squatted down. As his gaze lowered, their eyes met head-on.

“Why are you playing hide-and-seek next to someone else’s car.”

“…Ah.”

“You have all sorts of strange hobbies, you.”

He will think I am a weirdo. No matter how hard he racked his brain, he could not come up with an excuse. Seorim mumbled something with his lips before just shutting them.

“Did you clear the snow?”

“Th, yes.”

“Why?”

This person was not someone he could have a peaceful conversation with. During his rut cycle, he had spouted absurd sophistry and forcibly taken him. So, he was a hateful and disliked person, but looking him in the eye, the words came out differently than he had intended.

“It reminded me of when I was young.”

“Did you have a part-time job clearing snow off other people’s cars when you were young?”

“Not that, but I used to do it because I was bored.”

“So you were clearing it today because you were bored too?”

It feels like I have become a kindergartener. After spewing such harsh words before, why is he striking up a conversation again, pretending to be affectionate?

“Thanks for clearing the snow. Should I give you some pocket money?”

“It is okay. I just did it without thinking.”

“You are doing cute things.”

Finishing his words, Ryu Yeonho extended a hand as if to say, grab it and get up. As Seorim just stared at the long, outstretched fingers and hesitated, he grabbed his wrist first with a grab. The difference in strength was overwhelming, so Seorim ended up being half-dragged up.

Having stood up, Seorim awkwardly brushed off his buttocks. He could feel a gaze watching him as he straightened his clothes.

Suddenly, Seorim thought he might know why the mansion was so quiet today.

“But why are there so few people today?”

“There are usually not many people.”

“That is true, but it feels particularly quiet.”

“Particularly quiet.”

As if mulling over the sentence, Yeonho, who had quietly repeated Seorim’s words, added a beat later.

“I guess something urgent came up.”

“Something urgent…”

“I am busy too. I have to go back up to Seoul.”

Unlike himself, who was bundled up in a lot of clothes and looked ridiculous, Ryu Yeonho was dressed quite neatly in a black coat. He wondered if he was about to go out.

“If you are busy, can you not just sleep in Seoul?”

“That is true.”

“Then why did you come?”

“Well, to see you?”

He is talking nonsense. If they had not run into each other by chance like this, he probably would not have had a chance to see him until he left the mansion. As Seorim unknowingly scowled, Yeonho let out a laugh like air escaping.

“Why do you make it so obvious that you do not like it.”

“It is not that I particularly like it, achoo, because I do not.”

Whether he heard the reply or not, Ryu Yeonho seemed to not care. He lightly brushed off the snow on Seorim’s shoulder blade and said.

“Do not catch a cold.”

“Yes.”

“It is because you came out for no reason and cleared snow.”

Why can I not hold back a sneeze? Embarrassed by his sniffle, Seorim pointlessly pinched the tip of his nose. Yeonho watched him with eyes as calm as the surface of the lake.

After pinching his nose for a while, Seorim mumbled as if spitting out the words.

“You should take care of yourself, Ryu Yeonho.”

“What.”

“Just live well. Properly, I mean, without making people hate you.”

It was partly sincere. He had only seen people who hated Ryu Yeonho around him. How had he lived his life for public opinion to be so rock-bottom? He might get stabbed passing by on the street someday. Of course, he knew he was not the type to be stabbed meekly.

Hearing Seorim’s words, Yeonho asked with a very slight lift of his lips.

“Are you worrying about me?”

“That is not it.”

“You talk as if you are going somewhere.”

For a moment, his heart shriveled. Does he know something? Seorim’s pupils widened like saucers for a second.

Fortunately, when he came to his senses, Ryu Yeonho had turned his head and was taking his car key out of his pocket.

“I am leaving. It is cold, so go inside quickly.”

He could not have really noticed, could he? Since he was a person who often said meaningful things and kept his thoughts tightly guarded, every word was suspicious. Without any time to further probe Ryu Yeonho’s thoughts, he opened the car door.

“Wa, wait a minute.”

Seorim found himself grabbing him. Ryu Yeonho looked up as if to ask what was the matter. Why did I call him? Unable to understand the reason himself, Seorim just fumbled with his lips.

“So, uh.”

“What?”

Urged on by Yeonho, Seorim, who had been hesitating for a long time, exclaimed, “Ah!”

“The necklace!”

At the sudden words, Yeonho let out a shallow sigh.

“The necklace, can you really not give it to me now?”

Once he leaves this place, there will be no way to find the necklace forever. It meant that not even his mother’s last photograph would remain. That must be why he had grabbed Ryu Yeonho, he thought to himself.

However, Yeonho just smiled faintly and replied.

“Next time. I will give it to you next time we meet.”

“Next time when…”

“I do not know, snot-nose.”

With that childishly petty nickname as his final word, Ryu Yeonho got into the car.

Watching the car leave the backyard, Seorim was engulfed in a feeling of displeasure. It felt like he had talked to a person. It was a really strange thing. Because Ryu Yeonho did not see him as a person.

Placing a finger on his unconsciously relaxed lips, Seorim let out a low sigh.

🦅

Time can go by very slowly, but it can also flow so breathlessly that it is hard to keep up.

The day promised with his father was just around the corner. Seorim was looking forward to the day he would leave the mansion more than ever, but at the same time, he was also afraid of that day coming.

Will I be able to escape this mud-pit of a life this time?

Since every expectation had turned into a bubble, he was afraid to hope for anything again. Even when he tried to let go and entrust his body to the flow, a mixture of anxiety and expectation kept shaking his consciousness.

There is nothing more he can do now. He acted as usual so as not to seem like he was planning something, and he also kept in touch with his father. He had also humored Ryu Hyunjun well. There were no problems, yet somehow the quiet atmosphere felt like the calm before the storm, which was eerie.

It is okay. It will be fine. If it does not work out, then just like now…

Can I live? If I get caught, I might literally die.

He felt the worry tightening its grip on his throat. Seorim fumbled at his bare neck. The necklace was in Ryu Yeonho’s hands. That persistent bastard still had not returned it. I will have to leave without getting it in the end.

If I just wait a little longer, I can escape. To shake off his anxiety, Seorim thought about what he would do with his life after leaving the mansion.

He had said he was going to Southeast Asia, so he would have to study the language of that country. His brain was probably rusty, so he did not know if he could do it properly. Could he make a living by selling fruit, doing manual labor, or something?

He also felt a little sad about leaving Korea. But even if he were dropped in some remote land where no one knew him, it would be dozens of times better than this life.

It is much more joyful to run towards a light that is shining, however faintly, than to walk in a darkness that is so bleak its end is not in sight. Naturally, light is always warmer than darkness.

Imagining the future when things went well made him feel a little more at ease. But on the other hand, the lingering unease in his heart kept rearing its head.

The mansion had been quiet for several days. Chairman Ryu had not shown his face for the past few days, and in addition, the chances of running into Ryu Hyunjun by chance in the mansion had also disappeared. It seemed like something unusual had happened, but there was no way to know exactly what it was.

It might actually be a good opportunity to escape by taking advantage of the confusion. As long as whatever it was did not harm his escape.

If he stayed still, anxiety kept eating away at his consciousness. Seorim rubbed his face against his pillow, then thrust his hand under it. Soon, a flat cell phone was pulled out between his fingers.

He had called his father earlier to confirm the detailed schedule. The plan was to arrive at Pyeongtaek Port earlier than that, hide somewhere, then join him and board the evening ferry. With the mansion so quiet and no one walking around, escaping for a few hours would not be that difficult.

Seorim stared blankly at the black cell phone screen for a while, then tapped it a couple of times. And he found Ryu Hyunjun’s contact information and sent a text.

[Hyunjun, we are meeting tomorrow, right?] 9:38 PM

He waited for a reply with an anxious heart. Just a few days ago, he was a person who replied so quickly it was as if he had his cell phone attached to his pants.

But today, there was no news. It was a situation that fanned the flames of his soaring anxiety.

[I will be waiting. Thank you so much. If it was not for you, Hyunjun, I might have been in big trouble.] 9:44 PM

He sent another text, wanting to rush a reply. Why is he so slow to reply today? It is a bit much to call him. While various idle thoughts crossed his mind, the cell phone screen lit up.

[Yes, I remember. See you tomorrow morning.] 9:45 PM

It was Ryu Hyunjun. Seeing the text, a sense of relief spread, and a sigh escaped him on its own. As expected, his worries were just groundless fears. Seorim burrowed into the blankets with a groan.

He had also kept the money that Chairman Ryu had given him a few pennies of on the cruise before. He would say he was going to a university hospital in Seoul for a check-up, then get off, shake off Ryu Hyunjun, go to the terminal, and take a bus to Pyeongtaek. And after getting off the bus, a little while later, it would be the time he had promised his father, so he would board the boat.

He reviewed the simulation that he had run in his head dozens of times. He did not have anything he brought with him anyway, so there was no luggage to pack. There was no one he was close enough to say goodbye to either.

For a moment, a few figures flashed through his mind, but Seorim shook his head. Even if they exist, they must not. I do not think of them as close. It was an absurd thing to give affection to someone in a mud pit he had been forcibly dragged into.

“It is okay…”

It is okay. Tomorrow, I will be able to forget everything. So for today, let us just rest for tomorrow.

Hoping for a peaceful future, Seorim closed his eyes.

In his dream, he seemed to hear the sound of waves. He could not tell if it was the quiet night sea that was calming his anxiety, or the blue waves that were trying to swallow him whole.

🦅

It was a snowstorm.

The snow that had been falling all through the dawn was still pouring down heavily in the morning. Seorim, who had finished getting ready to leave, looked up beyond the window with a troubled expression. He hoped that just because it was a mountain road, he would not be unable to leave due to the heavy snow.

A needless worry.

The promised time with Ryu Hyunjun was eleven o’clock. Seorim straightened his bedding for the last time and left the room. There was still some time, so it would be fine to go down to the dining hall and have some leftover bread.

He did not run into anyone on his way down to the dining hall. Just how long was this strangely quiet atmosphere going to last? It would not matter after today, since he would not be seeing them again.

Seorim roughly picked up a piece of bread piled up in a corner of the dining hall and put it in his mouth. His throat was dry, so he drank a glass of water too. It was cold outside, and he had to go through a lot today, so it was good to eat heartily. Who knew when he would eat such soft bread again.

After eating one more piece of bread than usual, Seorim brushed the crumbs from the corner of his mouth and stood up. It was actually more comfortable not to run into anyone. Had the god who had been pretending not to know all this time finally decided to help?

He took out his cell phone openly and checked; it was almost the promised time.

Seorim hurried out of the mansion. The thought that he could really leave made him not even think of saying goodbye to the place he had stayed in for a long time.

He was supposed to meet Ryu Hyunjun in the greenhouse. His pace quickened. It was not that far in the first place, so it seemed he would arrive earlier than the promised time.

Seorim looked up at the grayish sky that was pouring out white snow. He comforted himself by saying that it was just a dreary atmosphere due to the cloudy weather, and definitely not a bad omen.

It was called a greenhouse, but the inside was not managed and was chilly. It was much better than outside, so that was enough. Seorim sat on a long, white flowerbed and took out his cell phone.

[I have arrived.] 10:59 AM

His eyes were fixed on the clock on his cell phone. As he counted the seconds in his head, the numbers changed to indicate eleven o’clock. It was the promised time.

The cold silence that had settled in the greenhouse pricked Seorim’s cheeks stingingly. Even though it was winter, cold sweat beaded on the back of his neck and rolled down. He wished time would just stop. Cruelly, the numbers on the cell phone screen just kept increasing.

Until it became ten past eleven, Seorim sat in that spot like a stone statue.

Why is he not coming?

Was there a mistake in the promised time? It was definitely eleven o’clock. Did he not say in a text yesterday to see him in the morning? Did something happen?

There was still no reply to his text. Seorim lifted his trembling fingers and sent another message to Ryu Hyunjun’s number.

[Are you running a little late? I am waiting.] 11:12 AM

His heart began to race at a fast pace. It is okay, it is okay. He repeated the words he had been telling himself countless times since yesterday.

For now, being about ten minutes late was within an understandable range. Seorim wiped the cold sweat that had run down his spine and tried to maintain his composure. If he just waited a little longer, something would change, whether it be a reply, a phone call, or him showing up in person.

The anxiety in his heart that he had been so diligently ignoring all this time swelled up in an instant. He could not breathe properly. He could not stop his mind from being bleached white.

“Hk, ugh. Cough.”

He was startled by his own coughing sound. The greenhouse was submerged in silence, so the echo was loud.

In the meantime, cruel time flowed on without stopping. Now the clock on the cell phone was racing towards eleven-thirty. Now he had to accept it. That the plan was not going smoothly.

What should I do?

Think, think. Think quickly.

He tore at his hair, which was stiff and unable to turn. His breathing became ragged. Seorim picked up his cell phone, entered Ryu Hyunjun’s number, and made a call.

His heart pounded as if it would burst in time with the monotonous dial tone. His nerves became so sensitive that he could feel the blood rushing around in his body. Please pick up, he shouted countless times in his mind the wish he could not say out loud.

— The customer you have called is not available. You will be connected to the voice mailbox after the beep.

Why? Why on earth.

You said you would take me. I have no way of leaving the mansion without you. Did I believe you too easily? I was so desperately in need. How, how.

He was stupid. No matter how much the other person’s mental state was strange and he was mesmerized like a fanatic, he should have trusted someone trustworthy.

No, rather, because he looked dazed, he should not have trusted him. It was foolish to think that just because he got him a cell phone, he would be devoted to him the next time too. But thinking about it again, the only lifeline to get out of the mansion was Ryu Hyunjun, so maybe the plan was flawed from the very beginning.

It was already eleven-forty. He became impatient. He tried calling again, but the voice that came back was the same.

“I have to get out, I can get out.”

Seorim muttered as if possessed. He just had to get out of the mansion and go to the city. Then somehow. Somehow he could escape.

He shot up from his seat. The focus in front of his eyes was blurry. Seorim stumbled and threw open the greenhouse door.

Outside, everything was white. And even now, powder that was covering the world in white was fluttering down from above his head. He did not know which way to go to get to the city. Seorim just looked at the endlessly continuing road and took a step.

Crunch, the sound of snow being trampled broke the silence. However, the noise was quickly erased to white by the falling snow. Seorim took another step. The snow broke, and powder scattered.

Now his steps quickened and became a run. He ran out of the mansion, running frantically through the forest path lined with trees. He did not know how much further he had to run to see the end. He did not even know where he was going now.

He just had to escape. From this place. From the mansion that was like the belly of a snake that was eating him.

It has to be today, it has to be now. There might never be another chance.

The snow that hit his skin melted immediately, stealing his body heat. His eyes, wet with welled-up tears, felt so cold they seemed to be freezing. Still, Seorim could not stop.

Trees, trees, trees. The path lined with trees that had bloomed with snowflake flowers continued on and on. He was sprinting at full speed, but he had the illusion that he was constantly circling the same scenery.

“Huu, ah, heuk…”

He ran so fast that he tasted metal from the saliva that pooled in his mouth. A pain like his side was being torn apart spread through him.

His shoes were full of snow, and his feet were already numb. The tips of his toes were hardening like pieces of ice. With every step he took, it felt like his bones were breaking.

If I keep running like this, I will be able to get to the city. Then I can get out. Really, really.

Really?

You think you can run through this snowstorm, a distance that takes hours by car, and get to the city.

Really?

“Haa, ha.”