DOGC Ch 13

The houses and greenhouses clinging to the mountainside, and the ever-steepening hill road.

From the very back seat of the bus, Seorim repeatedly drifted into a light sleep, only to be awakened by the sound of gravel kicked up by the road. His head ached each time the rattling vibrations shook his entire body.

Even when the bus stopped intermittently and people got out to buy coffee, Seorim never once rose from his seat. He had neither the strength to drink anything, nor the courage to freely wander outside. He simply stared blankly at the people, then would fall into a sweat-drenched sleep as if fainting.

He had no idea how much time had passed.

The world outside the window was stained as if red paint had been spilled over it. Then, not long after, a bluish energy covered the sky in the place where the sunset had receded. From high above, stars began to light up one by one, and the streetlights awakened.

Because it was a country road, even the few streetlights that existed were sparse. Seorim pressed his swollen cheek against the cold glass window to cool it. He was hit just the day before yesterday, and he had no idea how much longer it intended to throb. His dry lips cracked, and the metallic taste of blood spread. Rolling his lip inward, he gulped down the blood and gazed out at the jet-black darkness that had settled.

At long last, the bus passed the final winding downhill road and came to an abrupt stop.

— We have arrived at Ttangkkeut, the final stop. We hope you had a pleasant journey with Hana Express, and we wish you a safe departure.

The mechanical voice poured down from overhead. The few people remaining stood up one by one, stretched, and prepared to conclude their journey.

Seorim, too, straightened his body, which had been curled up the entire time. From sitting in the same position for so long, his rear end tingled with numbness, and his overworked feet and legs were swollen and devoid of sensation.

Psssssh, with a sound, the door opened, and a chill rushed in.

Seorim fumbled in his pocket with his only belongings, a bottle of pills and a few bills, as he got off the bus. He could not tell if his steps were staggering because he was not fully awake, or because his body was broken.

His sense of smell, rather than his sight, was the first to notice the change in environment.

The smell of tidal flats, the smell of coarse salt carried on the wind, the smell of wet timber. All the scents that announced this place was the sea rushed in at once, digging into his nose.

“……Haa.”

Seorim took a small breath. It was a scent that felt familiar, yet awkward.

He had really arrived. To the sea farthest from Seoul.

A gust of wind wrapped around his head. His hair, damp and stuck to his skin with cold sweat, tickled his forehead and fluttered.

What should I do now.

The bus had reached its destination, but Seorim had not yet decided on his own final stop. He simply wanted to rest comfortably. Though this place was not an absolutely safe haven either.

For a place where many people came and went, the Ttangkkeut Terminal was remarkably small and quiet. Outside, behind the parked bus, only a small snack bar, a few vending machines, and worn-out chairs filled the space.

Seorim dragged his heavy legs and staggered out of the building.

The night in a seaside village was of a completely different fabric from the night in the city. Lacking light, a complete darkness had settled in. In the midst of a world that seemed silent and slowed down, only the sea and the wind rumbled and cried.

“……Where do I go.”

His words, spoken to himself, scattered wretchedly in the night wind. Literally having no idea where to go, Seorim stood for a long while under a streetlight.

The sound of crashing waves brushed past him. As if possessed, Seorim began to walk aimlessly toward an old alley that faced the sea.

Below the sloping road, he could see a winding stone wall. Beyond it, a plank for drying mackerel also came into view. Could this be the scenery of the seaside village his mother often spoke of?

The fluorescent light leaking through a crack in a door served as a guidepost. Seorim walked until he was a little closer to the sea.

For a moment, he thought about jumping into the sea to die. But in truth, if he was going to die, it would make it laughable that he had gone to all the trouble of running away this far.

In all honesty, Seorim just wanted to enjoy a little bit of freedom. In the end, he would either be caught and thrown in prison, or be killed in retaliation, but he wanted to live like a person, even for just a moment before that.

Coming here was a good decision. It felt as if the waves were soothing his heart, even if just a little. As if it knew all the stories of the world, it unassumingly kissed the shore. That very indifference was a comfort.

As he was walking aimlessly to a corner of the village, a small sign came into his view.

[Guesthouse / Long-term stays available / Call for owner]

The words were written in an unrefined script. Drawn by its crudeness, Seorim’s steps came to a halt. The word ‘stay’ stirred his famished heart. He could rest here.

Of course, there was no doorbell. Seorim hesitated for a moment, then carefully knocked on the door.

Knock, knock—.

It was quiet beyond the door.

Knock, knock, knock—.

After he knocked a few more times, it seemed he could hear a presence inside. And not long after, someone opened the door.

“Who is it in the middle of the night?”

The one who appeared was an old woman with snow-white hair. She furrowed her brow and stuck her head out, looking Seorim up and down.

“Do you have a room? I’ll be staying for a few days.”

“A room?”

“I can pay you right now.”

The grandmother, who seemed to be the owner of the guesthouse, clicked her tongue at Seorim’s appearance. She grabbed Seorim’s arm and pulled him inside, saying,

“Goodness, the money and all that can wait. Hurry on in, and close the door.”

The old woman was so strong, Seorim was led staggering by the grandmother.

Inside, there was a long, horizontally-stretched country house, and a small, slightly separate annex. The grandmother crossed the yard, which was cluttered with the miscellany characteristic of a country home, and said,

“The wind’s blowin’ like that, a young thing like you must be so cold.”

“Yes, ye-es.”

“Have you had dinner? You gotta have somethin’ warm to catch your breath. Should I fix you up some soup and rice right quick?”

Her words were so fast he could not understand exactly what she had said, but it seemed she was offering to make him dinner. It was burdensome, yet at the same time, he felt a lump in his throat at the kindness of offering to prepare a meal for a complete stranger.

“It’s okay.”

“Are you really okay? How can a kid be so gaunt, lookin’ like you haven’t had a single spoonful of thin gruel. Where’ve you been starvin’ yourself.”

“Ye-es.”

Unable to think of anything else to say, Seorim repeated the same word.

“The money can wait ’til morning, so hurry and get to your room and rest. I’ll make the floor nice and warm for ya.”

“Yes……”

“The room’s over there.”

At the end of the place the grandmother pointed to was the small annex. Seorim bowed his head slightly and then limped across the yard.

When he opened the sliding door of the annex, the smell of old wood pricked the tip of his nose. He fumbled along the wall and turned on the light; a fluorescent lamp flickered a few times before illuminating the room.

“Hh, hyuu……”

As soon as he closed the door and was completely alone, Seorim sank to the floor. The tension in his entire body released, and it felt as though every single one of his muscles was melting away into a puddle.

Lying with his cheek on the still-cold floor, Seorim slowly blinked his eyes.

The room was old, but just as much, it was imbued with the traces of life. A small television and a hand-worn remote control. On top of the floor, which had been layered over and over, two cushions with faded patterns lay side by side.

An old calendar hung on the wall, untorn, and in the corner of the ceiling hung a fly swatter. In one corner of the room, there was even a plastic vanity that was passably furnished.

It seemed to be a space that had been used as a guesthouse for a very long time. When he breathed in, a faint smell of naphthalene wafted.

Seorim crawled across the floor and unfolded the neatly arranged bedding. It was pilled here and there, but it was cleanly laundered and looked cozy. Just as he squeezed his body into the blanket, the floor began to warm up.

It was the first comfort he had felt since running away from the mansion, no, perhaps in the last few years combined. It lacked sophistication, but this quiet silence, this time that seemed to have stopped, these traces of someone having lived here, put Seorim at ease.

Here, no one knows Baek Seorim.

No one would speak of the mansion or Chairman Ryu. It was okay to not have to sell his body by force. He could go out if he wanted to go out, eat if he wanted to eat, and rest if he wanted to rest.

That alone made it the most comfortable place in the world. Even if he were to be caught and dragged away someday.

Seorim entrusted his body to the stillness, the duration of which he did not know, and closed his eyes. In the lit room, the sound of even breathing soon spread.

🦅

A small flying insect was slowly crawling across the ceiling.

He awoke from sleep, his eyelids lifting heavily. For a while, Seorim lay still, listening to the old fluorescent light and the sound of the waves coming from between the wooden gaps.

The world was so quiet. As if everything that happened at the mansion was all a dream.

He did not know how long it had been since he had slept so sweetly without waking up in the dead of night. Though it was not an appropriate feeling of refreshment for a man who had killed someone and run away.

The entire mansion must be in an uproar by now. Will they storm this place soon? What is happening? Is Yeonwoo keeping it a secret well?

And what could Ryu Yeonho be thinking.

Thoughts followed one after another, tailing each other. This only gnawed at his chest and amplified his anxiety.

Seorim rubbed his face with one hand and carefully rose from his spot. Having left the blanket, the warmth disappeared, and goosebumps rose on his back.

When he opened the sliding door and went out into the yard, the smell of simmering soup faintly lingered. It seemed to be soybean paste stew. It was a savory aroma he had not smelled in a very long time.

“Oh my, has the little one woken up already.”

The owner grandmother, who was standing in the yard holding a ladle, greeted Seorim.

“I was about to wake you, but you’re already up. Did you sleep well last night?”

“Ye-es.”

“Oh my, I couldn’t tell in the middle of the night, but seein’ you now, you’re really quite pretty. Like a new bride.”

His face must still be swollen. Fearing the grandmother might look closely at his bruised areas, Seorim slyly covered his face with his hand.

“I put some hot peppers in the stew, so it’ll loosen up your whole body. Let’s hurry and eat.”

He wondered if guesthouses normally prepared breakfast for their guests. He had never stayed in one, so he did not know how it was usually done. Seorim dazedly followed the owner grandmother up onto the wooden floor.

When the grandmother opened the door, the smell of soybean paste stew grew stronger.

“Oh……”

A small exclamation escaped him without him realizing. Inside the room, a dining table set for two was waiting for Seorim.

A few homemade side dishes, freshly cooked rice, and soybean paste stew in a steaming earthenware pot. There were not many dishes, but each one was prepared with care.

Belatedly, his stomach churned. Come to think of it, he had not eaten anything for a long time. As if chiding him for only now noticing, hunger surged fiercely.

Is it okay to eat this with a clear conscience?

As Seorim watched her cautiously, the grandmother sitting opposite him offered him a bottle of barley tea.

“Hurry and eat. The food’s gettin’ cold.”

“Is it okay for me to eat?”

“Well, who else is gonna eat it? You think I set all this up to eat it all by myself?”

Affection was laced in her scolding tone. At those words, Seorim swallowed hard and carefully scooped up some stew. As the hot broth went down his throat, a sense of fullness welled up from his insides.

The potatoes and zucchini simmered soft in the soybean paste, and the savory oiliness infused with the grandmother’s touch enveloped his tongue. One bite, two bites. Once he started, his chopsticks would not stop. He put a sweet and savory anchovy in his mouth, deboned a salty saury and devoured it hastily. He scooped up heaps of white rice with his spoon and stuffed it into his mouth.

“Goodness gracious, have you really been starving for days? You’ll get indigestion eatin’ in such a hurry.”

The grandmother, who had picked up her spoon as well, clicked her tongue.

However, the hungry Seorim could not hear her. He was too busy chewing what seemed like some kind of vegetable seasoned with red pepper paste, as if drinking it.

“You’ll ruin your stomach. Ain’t nobody gonna take it from you, so eat slowly.”

“Mmm, mph, ye-es.”

“Still, you look pretty when you eat so well.”

Saying that, the grandmother placed a piece of white saury flesh on his rice. It felt strange. In all his life, the only person who had ever deboned a fish for him was his mother.

Perhaps because his heart had grown weak from anxiety, the bridge of his nose kept stinging, which was a problem. To hide his trembling lips, Seorim buried his head in his soup bowl and swallowed the grains of rice. Sniffling, he ate his fill. When he had emptied one bowl, the grandmother scooped a large portion of her own rice with her spoon and gave it to him. He devoured that as well.

He did not know how long it had been since he had eaten until his skin felt taut. Quite peacefully, once his stomach was full, his anxious heart calmed down considerably.

To think that eating a warm meal could bring such peace of mind. He did not particularly like it, and he had only eaten it a few times before, but how could a single piece of saury fill him up so completely, right down to his bones? He never knew that a full stomach could soften the heart.

“Thank you for the meal, grandmother.”

“That’s right. You gotta eat a little to really relax your body.”

You’re so right, Seorim silently mumbled the words in his mouth, looking at the floor. He saw the legs of the dining table rattle as the grandmother, finished with her meal, prepared to clear it. Seorim shot up and lifted the edge of the table for her.

“What strength do you have, all skin and bones?”

“It’s not that heavy.”

Having polished off all the side dishes and rice, there was no way the empty table would be heavy. Seorim followed the grandmother and carried the table to the kitchen. When he tried to do the dishes as well, the grandmother slapped his forearm with a smack and stopped him.

“Stop, stop. That’s enough now, go rest.”

“It’s okay.”

“If an old woman like me doesn’t even do this, what fun is there in life.”

As the grandmother put the dishes in the sink and put on rubber gloves, Seorim fidgeted with his fingers and rummaged through his pants pocket. He felt a few bills that he had crumpled deep inside.

They were so wrinkled that their original shape was hard to recognize, so Seorim took out the balled-up money and carefully smoothed out each bill, one by one. He did not have much money left now. He arranged about nine ten-thousand won bills as neatly as possible.

How long could he stay with this much. His mouth was already bitter at the thought that he might have to leave soon after finally finding a place where he could feel at ease.

After the dishes were done, as soon as the grandmother took off the rubber gloves on her arms, Seorim cautiously approached her.

“Grandmother.”

“Yes.”

“Um, I wanted to give you this.”

Seorim hesitated, then held out the bills. The grandmother did not take them, only glancing at them before jerking her chin up.

“How long are you plannin’ to stay?”

“As long as possible.”

“Is that so?”

A hand, tanned brown by the sun, took the bills. All but one ten-thousand won bill were left behind. Wondering what it meant, Seorim stared at the grandmother, bewildered.

“For your allowance.”

“What? This, this won’t be enough money……”

“The room rate here ain’t that expensive to begin with.”

Then how long was he allowed to stay? It would be a problem if he were kicked out tomorrow. Just as Seorim was about to open his mouth to say more, the grandmother patted her backside and said,

“I’ll kick you out when the time comes, so don’t worry and just stay comfortable.”

Ending the conversation like that, the grandmother stretched and turned away. As if an old person had so much to do in the morning, she left Seorim and went out to the yard. Seorim blinked and stared down at the single bill left forlornly on his palm.

🦅

In the afternoon, a winter rain began to fall.

It was a fine, damp drizzle. Unlike a downpour, the raindrops that gently tapped on the tiled roof quietly enveloped the world, neither noisy nor conspicuous.

Seorim sat curled up on the wooden porch, watching the scenery of the village become saturated with moisture. Through the rain, he could hear the sound of seagulls from afar. Having lived his whole life in a forest surrounded by trees, encountering such an environment was nothing but unfamiliar.

He had slept on the bus all day yesterday and had rested refreshingly last night, so he was not sleepy. But it was not as if he had anything particular to do, so he had to kill time like this.

At this rate, it was no different from when he stayed at the mansion. Although, of course, his heart was incomparably more at ease.

……To feel at ease when I’m on the run after killing someone.

His own sentiment was so ridiculous that a self-mocking smile formed on his lips. Unfamiliar peace and unfamiliar silence. How long would he be able to enjoy this freedom?

As he was blankly watching the raindrops making small dots on the ground, the grandmother soon came out to the porch carrying a wicker basket. Seeing Seorim, she struck up a conversation.

“But dear, if you’re tired from just sitting around all the time, you should lie down and rest a bit.”

“I think it’s because I slept so much yesterday, I’m not sleepy.”

As he answered while rubbing his still-swollen feet, the old woman frowned. She then put down the wicker basket and went into a room somewhere.

Just as Seorim averted his gaze, not paying it much mind, the grandmother appeared again, this time holding a tin case with a picture of candy on it. With each slow step she took toward him, a clatter, clatter sound came from the tin box.

“Sit here.”

“Pardon?”

“I said sit here. I need to take a look at where you’re hurt.”

It seemed that with the daylight, the scratches and bruises on his face and neck had become noticeable. Seorim awkwardly covered the back of his neck with his hand and answered.

“I’m fine.”

“Fine my foot. Are you not gonna sit here?”

He ended up getting scolded. Eventually, Seorim awkwardly got up and walked to the end of the porch where the grandmother was sitting.

The grandmother clicked her tongue upon seeing the dark purple bruise on his neck and his split lip, then opened the case. Inside were disinfectant, ointment, a few pieces of cloth, and bandages.

“Who went and messed up such a pretty face like this.”

“I fell.”

“You fell?”

Even after hearing his answer, the grandmother was silent for a moment. With her calloused fingers, she gently dabbed the disinfectant onto the wound.

“How did you fall to get a bruise this dark.”

It had been so easy to fool naive adults, but it seemed an old woman, hardened by all the trials and tribulations of life, was not so easy. Both of them knew Seorim’s story was a lie, but neither added anything more to the topic.

Because there were many small wounds, the treatment took quite a long time. His face felt heavy with bandages stuck here and there.

“Thank you.”

“It’s not all fixed just by eatin’ and sleepin’. A wound has to heal all the way.”

The grandmother closed the lid of the ointment and tidied the box she had placed on the porch. Her hand movements were slow but neat. Seorim felt his face grow a little hot. It was because he felt a warmth similar to the touch of his mother’s hand as she soothed his scraped knee when he fell as a young child.

Wondering if someone like him deserved to receive such care, Seorim fidgeted with his fingers for no reason.

“By the way, you said you couldn’t sleep?”

“Yes, not yet. I ate and then haven’t done anything.”

“Oh dear, I’d tell you to walk around the yard if you’re bored, but the rain’s comin’ down somethin’ fierce.”

The grandmother said as much and, with a grunt, lifted herself up. Then she walked toward the wicker basket placed in the middle of the porch. Seorim silently followed her form with his gaze.

The wicker basket was filled with dark bluish-green seaweed. It glistened as if it had been soaked in seawater. It was an object that looked familiar from somewhere, yet was strange.

Without realizing it, Seorim got up from his spot and sat down across from the grandmother.

“What is this?”

“You don’t know what tot is?”

“Tot……”

“It comes up from the winter sea right around this time. On days with strong waves, less of it comes up, and when it drizzles like this, a good bit comes up.”

Upon closer inspection, it had a shape he had never seen before in his life. Thin, wrinkled seaweed was tangled together by the roots, and the grandmother was untangling it one by one between her fingers, picking off the spoiled parts.

“What do you use this for?”

“We season it and eat it, mix it with rice and eat it, and dry it and then stir-fry it to eat again.”

Seorim sat with his knees gathered at the edge of the porch and watched her hands.

On the back of her hands, faded and tanned by the sun, the fine wrinkles drawn by time were engraved in layers. They were similarly wrinkled, but they were hands that held a different kind of time from Chairman Ryu’s. From the rough texture of her skin, he somehow felt a silent warmth.

Seorim slowly breathed in.

The smell of rain, the smell of the sea. In this place, the name Baek Seorim did not exist anywhere.

Is it okay to breathe just a little longer?

It is an irresistible force for something frozen to meet warmth and melt. Seorim could do nothing about his chilled heart gently unfurling along with the rain.

🦅

Overnight, the world had become even cozier.

The gentle rain had receded without leaving even a puddle. The damp air had disappeared, and an invisible, transparent wind shook the eaves of the guesthouse.

Once the sun had fully risen to the center of the sky, Seorim went outside. Today, he planned to walk around the village.

It suddenly occurred to him that the dress shoes placed lightly on the porch did not suit this village. They were black, luxurious, and uncomfortable. Just like him, these shoes were also strangers. Seorim nudged the knots of the dress shoes with his fingernail, then slipped his feet into them. The soil that touched the tips of his toes felt softer than it had on the day he first fled here.

The sunlight shone down, draping over his shoulders, subtly announcing its presence. The wind was cold but did not slap his cheeks, and the sunlight was weak but warm enough to heat his body. The feeling of standing under the faint shafts of light was not bad.

Leaving the alley of the guesthouse, Seorim walked toward the sea.

He had thought he could hear the sound of the waves no matter where he was, but the distance to the sea was actually very close. He was soon able to face the vast, blue sea spread wide before him.

The waves regularly rolled in, crashed, and went back again. The scene of the seafoam splashing up and then subsiding pressed down on his heart. Seorim gently bit his lower lip.

What could Ryu Yeonho be doing right now.

It was a thought that surfaced quietly, gently, without any sign. Whenever he thought of him, the same ripples always stirred in his heart. Loathing and irritation, a bit of curiosity, and dreg-like emotions that were hard to explain.

Have I grown fond of him?

Fond? I’ve grown fond of that strange person. The feeling he had defined himself was absurd. There was no way he could have developed feelings just because they had mixed their bodies a few times, just because they had shared a few conversations. What was Ryu Yeonho to him.

The salty smell carried on the breeze tickled his nose. A small crab moved and then stopped between the pebbles where the waves had receded.

If he turned on the TV, it might show what had happened to the Ryu family. It would have been mentioned on the news at least once.

However, Seorim knew. The moment he faced it, the tranquility he was enjoying now would shatter into pieces and break like the waves. The warm floor of the guesthouse, the grandmother’s affection, even the cold sunlight of this winter beach would all be returned to reality, and terror and fear would devour him.

When he imagined headlines like ‘Taehwa Chairman Ryu Sangman, found dead in his home.’ or ‘Investigation of fugitive associate expanding.’, the air turned into needles and stabbed his throat.

His chest heaved greatly from his ragged breathing. Seorim clenched his fists so tightly that his fingernails dug into his flesh.

“It’s okay.”

He muttered the words to himself and started walking again. The sunlight scattered indifferently over the sea. It was the moment he deeply inhaled the seaside wind to push away his thoughts.

Thump—.

“Ack.”

Something round came flying and crashed into his side. It felt like being headbutted by an animal charging at an incredible speed. Losing his balance and taking a step back, Seorim reflexively extended his arms and caught the child. If he had been a moment later, the child would have fallen right there on the spot.

“Ouch, are you okay?”

“……Hwueong.”

The child’s face quickly crumpled in sorrow. Tears welled up in his face, which was tanned brown from the sun, and his lips trembled.

He’s going to cry.

“Wait a minute. It didn’t hurt, right? It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re not hurt.”

What did I do when Yeonwoo cried? At a loss, Seorim grabbed the shoulders of the child who was shedding tears like chicken droppings. Yeonwoo used to cry quietly like a kitten, but this child’s whole face contorted as if he were about to sneeze.

“Ugh, uwaaang— Mommyy.”

“I’m sorry, don’t cry.”

“Heok, eong, it huuurts, heuk.”

“It doesn’t look like you’re hurt.”

The sound of the child crying was deafening. He was completely flustered. Seorim first held the child and then patted his back.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt.”

“Mommy, heuk, where’s mommy, eong.”

“Mommy? Did you come with your mom?”

There was no one around who looked like the child’s mother. In the first place, this kid was the only person here. Seorim wiped the tear-streaked face with his thumb and said.

“Your mom’s not here?”

“Mommy, busyy. Eong, won’t play with me.”

“Your mom is working?”

But why is he looking for his mom here. A rational question arose, but he did not bother to voice it. Once the child had cried to a certain extent, Seorim carefully brought his face level with the small, potato-like head.

“Should I take you to your mom?”

“Mommy’s cooking. She’s busy.”

Is he a little younger than Yeonwoo? He did not look old enough to go to elementary school. For some reason, the thought of the young one he had left behind at the mansion made his heart ache. Is that kid doing well, without being tormented by guilt?

“Mommyy.”

The child whined for his mother, clutching the hem of Seorim’s clothes. It seemed he would have to take him to where his guardian was. How twisted was his fate that he always had to take on the task of looking after small children.

Seorim let out a soft sigh and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He could feel the child’s small hand clinging tightly to his clothes.

“Let’s go to your mom.”

“Eung.”

He took the child’s hand and turned his steps toward the village. The seagulls flying leisurely in the sky cried out, caw, caw.

With the sea at his back, he went up the stairs and followed a small alley. All the while, the child mumbled something to himself at his side. Something about Captain Momo, something about Whale-ping. They seemed to be the names of main characters from an animation the child enjoyed watching.

After walking for a short while, a landscape filled with the scent of people unfolded. It was the first time he had properly looked around his surroundings since arriving in this village.

Small boats were docked around the sea, and fishermen were busy mending their nets. Each face was deeply etched with the marks of time.

In a large rubber basin placed in front of a gate, abalone shells and strands of seaweed were soaking. The traces of someone having just been tending to them remained, the water rippling gently.

“Where’s your mom?”

“Cheonghae Bunsik.”

“Where is that.”

“That way. We have to go further.”

The child pointed with his finger to the road leading to the center of the village. Seorim frowned as he watched the lively people coming and going.

The smell of oil wafting from a restaurant, the clatter of dishes, and boisterous laughter. It was an ordinary scene of people living together in a community. That made him uncomfortable. Because the cuts on his body and his anxious mind cruelly reminded him at every moment of the fact that he was a fugitive.

The laughter of a middle-aged man coming out of a restaurant door sounded unusually loud. The gaze from behind the helmet of someone passing by on a motorcycle felt chilly, as if it were needlessly scanning him. When his eyes met with an older woman pulling a large box, it felt as if something cold had been poured on the back of his head.

The nape of his neck tingled. Cold sweat formed on the palm holding the child’s hand.

No, it’s okay.

Nothing has happened yet.

“I’m hungry.”

The child muttered, squeezing his hand tightly. The strength in his small fingertips brought a sense of reality. Seorim stared down at the child standing beside him.

The child was walking nonchalantly. As if there was no problem here, in his own home. Seorim slowly lowered his gaze. And as if whispering, he opened his mouth.

“Right, let’s go to your mom.”

“Mommy!”

The child suddenly shouted loudly. Small children were truly unpredictable creatures. The tip of his blunt finger was pointing to a shop in front of the main road.

“It’s there! Mommy’s over there!”

“Eung.”

If she was cooking in there, then the child’s mother must be a restaurant employee or the owner. The name of the shop was ‘Cheonghae Bunsik’. It seemed that just because it was a fishing village did not mean they only ate fish.

As he pushed the door and entered, a ding-a-ling of a bell sounded, and the heat from inside the shop rushed out.

“Just a moment! I’ll guide you to a seat when one opens up!”

“Ah, excuse me……”

The inside of the shop was extremely busy. In a space that was not very large, customers occupied every seat. The smell of anchovy broth and oil mixed and floated in the air.

“Mommy!”

“Huh?”

A woman who had been moving busily looked around, a ladle and tray in her hands. And the moment she spotted the child, her eyes widened.

“Oh my, Dongju!”

The woman left the ladle as it was and ran over. When the child was in his mother’s arms, Seorim finally let out a sigh of relief.

“How far did this child go. Gosh, thank you. For bringing him back.”

“It’s okay. It was nothing. He bumped into me, but he’s not hurt anywhere.”

While Seorim was speaking, the woman seemed to remember something and hurriedly turned, stumbling. The problem was that she happened to be holding a tray of dishes to be washed.

“Oh my!”

“Th-the plates.”

His arm moved before his words did. He reached out and grabbed the tray, and a few plates inside it clattered loudly against each other. One or two slid off and fell, but thankfully, they did not break.

The woman looked back and forth between the plates and Seorim with a surprised face, then gave an awkward laugh.

“I’m getting a lot of help today. It would have been a disaster if it weren’t for you, young man.”

She looked utterly frazzled. It was understandable that she could not pay attention to her child while trying to handle this many customers alone. As Seorim picked up the fallen plates and placed them on the tray, the woman began to speak, as if making an excuse.

“Gosh, it’s tough trying to do all the work by myself when there are so many customers at lunchtime. It’s not easy to find someone to work either……. I’m still looking, though.”

“Yes.”

“Since the kid’s dad isn’t around, I have to work and raise the kid all by myself. I don’t know if I’m doing this right. I’m clumsy at both.”

Now that he looked, the child’s mother was quite young for a village where the majority of the population was elderly. Did her saying the child’s dad was not around mean her husband had passed away early? Seorim, knowing nothing, looked at the child who was sitting on a chair eating candy.

His mother must have raised him just like this woman. His father had not passed away, but he had disappeared after dumping his debts on her.

Shouldering all kinds of burdens alone.

“Give me one anchovy noodle soup over here!”

“Ah, yes! Just a moment!”

She had to do the dishes, take orders, watch her child, and clean up. It seemed like even ten bodies would not be enough. Unsure of what to prioritize, the woman roughly swept her hair back.

It was inevitable that this woman and his mother overlapped in his mind. How deep must have been the exhaustion she experienced while raising a child alone.

The customers’ orders were endless, and there was no place the woman’s hands did not reach. Watching her, frozen between the kitchen and the hall, Seorim carefully spoke.

“Um……. Is there anything I can help with?”

“Pardon?”

The woman looked at Seorim with surprised eyes, then gave a smile that revealed her apology. It seemed she was desperate enough to borrow even a cat’s paw.

“I’m already sorry that you looked after my child……. Would that be okay? I’ll be sure to repay you.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“It would be a great help if you could serve water and side plates, and clear the empty dishes.”

Seorim nodded and walked toward a table cluttered with plates. It was the first time he had done such work, but his body moved naturally. Whatever it was, it could not be harder than panting under an old man.

He went around the tables, bringing water to the customers and clearing empty dishes. There were some who occasionally sent a curious glance at the unfamiliar employee, but that was all.

These people do not know Baek Seorim. They do not care whether Baek Seorim carries dishes or pours water. He thought that perhaps he himself was the one who had turned the gazes of others into a noose. People were, more than he thought, uninterested in complete strangers.

Hot steam billowed from the kitchen. He could see the woman wiping away the sweat that had beaded while she was boiling noodles. Seorim, organizing dishes next to her, asked quietly.

“Is it hard?”

The woman paused for a moment and looked at Seorim.

“Yes, but I have to do this to feed and clothe my child.”

His mother must have felt the same way looking at the grubby, young Baek Seorim. That strong will must have been the strength that helped his mother endure her arduous days.

As time passed, the busyness of the restaurant gradually subsided. Seorim let out a shallow breath as he saw the tables, which had become quiet after a number of customers had left. The fingers he had strained for the first time in a while tingled, but his heart felt quite refreshed.

At last, when even the final customer had left the shop, the child’s mother approached Seorim. She suddenly grabbed his hands and bowed her head repeatedly.

“Thank you so much. Thanks to you, today ended safely. You brought my child back safely, too, I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

“It was nothing.”

“I’ll give you your payment now.”

As soon as she finished speaking, the woman went to the counter, pressed a button on the POS machine, and took out a few bills. Then she rummaged through a drawer and found a white envelope. Seeing her put the money in the envelope, Seorim shook his head.

“You don’t have to give it to me. I didn’t even work for long.”

“You should take what you’ve earned. Come to think of it, I didn’t even get to ask your name. What’s your name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Name……”

He was at a loss for words for a moment. He felt a resistance to meekly saying his name, Baek Seorim. Even if nothing particularly big happened, it did not seem like he would gain anything by revealing his name.

Seorim hesitated, then answered in a small voice.

“Baek, no, Ryu Jeongnam.”

“Ah, Mr. Jeongnam.”

Without realizing it, he had blurted out a combination of his father’s changed name and the Ryu family’s surname. Of all things, those characters had to remain in his memory. While Seorim was suffering from a subtle sense of self-loathing, the woman placed the white envelope in his hand.

“My name is Oh Yeonji. My son’s name is Dongju, Mun Dongju.”

“Yes.”

“Um, by any chance, Mr. Jeongnam. If you’re okay with it, would you like to try working just during lunchtime?”

“Pardon?”

He was at a loss for words for a moment. Oh Yeonji’s offer was unexpected. Seorim could not readily answer and dropped his gaze to the floor.

He was a fugitive right now. He did not know when the police might storm in and drag him away. In a situation where he could not even reveal his real name, working could be dangerous. It was rationally sound to refuse and live hidden like a dead mouse.

However, a refusal to the offer did not immediately come out of his mouth either.

The days at the guesthouse grandmother’s house were peaceful, but it was no different from simply letting time pass by. The labor at the restaurant today was a time he could move his body and immerse himself in something for the first time in a long while, and that in itself gave him a strange sense of satisfaction. Baek Seorim was also a person who could work using his strength, not just by being a male prostitute.

In truth, Seorim was afraid of people, but he wanted to be around people. The taste of a normal, free life, which he had seen for the first time in a long time, was too sweet.

“Ah, um.”

“I’m sorry if that was a burden. You were such a huge help today.”

She said he was a help. He, who had no talent other than fawning with his handsome face, to someone. Moreover, she was asking if he could work for her again in the future. Somehow, feeling as if his untainted usefulness was being proven for the first time in a very long time, his mouth moved of its own accord.

“Well, um, I don’t have anything to do in particular, so if it’s just coming by to help out sometimes……”

What nonsense are you blabbering, not in your right mind, the reason that had been momentarily ignored raged inside his chest. Because of that, by the time he finished the sentence, his voice had become so small that it was difficult for the other person to hear.

How was his life turning out. How was the sky playing tricks to make the direction of his life this way.

“Oh my, I’m grateful for even that. Lunchtime is the peak, so it would be great if you could help out for a bit then. I’ll make sure your payment isn’t disappointing.”

Unaware of his turbulent thoughts, Ms. Oh Yeonji wore a smile of relief on her lips.

“That’s a relief. The person who was supposed to come to work saw that it was the countryside and ran away, so I was in a tough spot.”

“Is it that much of a countryside?”

“It is, well. There isn’t even a proper convenience store. That’s why I can’t watch my child well, and things like him disappearing on his own happen. But my Dongju brought back a benefactor.”

How did he come to be called a benefactor. In the midst of that, the circumstances of the shop owner named Oh Yeonji were truly unfortunate. He was not in a position to feel pity for anyone, but he kept thinking of his mother.

Seorim fumbled with the day’s pay, which was carefully placed in the envelope. A faint smell of the sea came from the edge of the paper envelope.

“Then for today, I’ll be going.”