DOGC Ch 14

“Yes! Thank you for coming. Oh, right.”

As Seorim got up from his seat to leave the shop, Yeonji bustled off somewhere. Following that, there was a rustle, rustle sound of her rummaging through something in the kitchen, and then she returned holding a black bag.

“I packed some fried food for you. Eat it at home.”

“Something like this……”

“You found my Dongju for me. Thank you, really.”

Handing over the bag, Oh Yeonji smiled with her eyes. A smile that resembled a curved crescent moon. This, too, was like his mother. Do all women become able to smile like that when they become mothers?

Seorim glanced down at Oh Yeonji’s hands, which had many burn scars and cuts, then slowly accepted the bag. From the slightly open gap, the savory smell of oil wafted out.

“I’ll, eat it well.”

It was strange. It felt as if his chest was gently melting like soft bread dough.

Did the world have this many warm sides to it? It was a coziness quite different from the temperatures he had faced until now. The ticklish feeling in his throat was awkward. He hated himself for finding the kindness that that person, and perhaps ordinary people, could naturally bestow, to be so unfamiliar. It felt as if his insides were thoroughly broken.

Seorim tightly gripped the black plastic bag in his hand and bowed his head. He could vaguely see Oh Yeonji waving with a good-natured smile.

He left the shop as if fleeing.

Passing midday, the sky, slowly greeting the evening glow, was wrapping the world in a much cozier color than before. The sea breeze brushed against his face, delivering its salt-laden scent.

The path back to the guesthouse along the alley was quiet. Seorim walked slowly, looking at his surroundings.

The peacefulness of this village was warm yet unfamiliar. It was a landscape far removed from the anxiety and tension that Baek Seorim was accustomed to. It was so out of place that it was to the point of being extravagant.

Still, still.

Still, he wanted to blend in here just a little longer.

The sun was setting beyond the horizon. The red-stained sea tickled his ears with the sound of gentle waves.

In the distance, the small light of the guesthouse was twinkling. It was the place where Seorim would return. That fact was so welcome that the tip of his tongue felt bitter.

🦅

Humans were truly foolish animals.

The seaside village meals that the guesthouse grandmother prepared were always affectionate and warm. The scenery that was so disconnected from his life up until now, such as the sound of the waves and the salt-laden scent he heard upon opening his eyes, ironically provided a different kind of stability.

On some days, he would walk the sea path along the horizon until the sun set. The next day, he would put on a mask, go to the market, buy comfortable shoes, and return as if he were running away. The white sneakers, unlike the uncomfortable and pitch-black dress shoes he had before, suited this fishing village scenery quite well. Even more so when they got stained with the sand from the beach.

In the refuge that had appeared by chance, anxiety and impatience gradually faded. While wondering if it was okay for him to feel such everyday happiness, Seorim sweetly drank in the peace.

It was one afternoon, when within that safety, Chairman Ryu, the mansion, and his status as a fugitive were all becoming just a little bit faint.

Outside the window, a winter drizzle was falling. The gentle, quiet rain hit the roof and window frame, creating a soft rhythm. The sound of the rain, mingling with the low-lying sound of the waves, made the room as quiet as if gentle music were playing.

Seorim, wrapped in a blanket, was staring blankly out the window before briefly closing his eyes. And he drifted off into a light sleep.

A face floated in the darkness. A man with a bald head, piercing eyes, and a long vertical scar on his cheek. It was the owner of the omega brothel.

‘Where do you think you’re crawling off to. Did you feel like going out to play because the clients kept calling you pretty, pretty?’

At the end of a narrow back alley, his body, which had run away, was dragged back. His struggles were useless, and his already torn breath only grew rougher. The owner forced Seorim to his knees on the alley floor. He pressed down on his back, and a cold shock spread along his spine.

‘You have no mother or father, and all you have is your face, so what do you think you’ll do for a living that you run away. Seorim, huh?’

Soon after, the toe of a shoe, as hard as metal, kicked his side hard. His breath caught in his throat. Unable to make a sound, his mouth fell open and his lungs were crushed. Next was his abdomen. The tip of the foot dug deep into his flesh and mercilessly kicked his lower belly, and Seorim fell sideways.

‘Do you even know how much you’re worth? Do you know how much we lose every time you run away, you fucking idiot.’

He could feel the owner’s knee pressing on his back. In that state, an elbow violently jabbed down near the back of his head, between his shoulder blades. No blood spurted, but the pain was such that it was a wonder he was still breathing.

‘I’m, I’m sorry. I was, wrong.’

‘I can’t just go and break your ribs. If it were up to my temper, fuck.’

His teeth chattered from the instinctive fear of the spreading pain. Even in that state, what stubbornly lingered in his mind was the bone-deep despair of ‘I’ve been caught’. He could not escape. He could not run away from the bottomless mire.

The kicks that flew at him again struck his thigh and lower back alternately. The energy to scream and the stamina to endure were all gone, and his body just trembled like an aspen tree.

‘Don’t even think about getting any other ideas from now on. No matter where you run, it’ll all be found out in this business. If you get caught one more time, I’ll make it so you can never walk again.’

He quietly buried his face in the ground and gasped for breath. The ground was filled with the metallic smell of dirt and blood, dust, and the sobs he had swallowed. And so, Seorim was dragged away again. To a room somewhere underground, where even light did not enter well.

He remembered this scene. It was his third escape attempt from the omega brothel. After this, Seorim gave up on running away and became an even more brittle shell. It was the incident that made his body perfectly learn that he was a being trapped behind bars.

The face of the person trampling on his body changed. It was Chairman Ryu.

His hands, dry and wrinkled like tree branches, crawled over his skin like insects. In front of the master who had bought his body, Seorim had to force a pretty smile. The sensation of someone else freely groping his chest and parting his legs was something he could never get used to. No matter how much he practiced letting go of his ego, it was always accompanied by a heart-wrenching pain.

It was a wave. He was facing the black waves that had engulfed his short life. The rough currents rushed in, encroaching on his lungs, making it impossible to breathe, and finally washing away his very insides until he became an empty shell.

In the next moment, he saw Chairman Ryu lying under the curtains. His eyes had no focus. His cold, stiff skin and the blood flowing from the back of his head showed that he was not alive. He looked similar to the dead fish his mother had once sold and brought home the leftovers of.

Murderer.

No, I didn’t kill him. It wasn’t me who killed him.

No, you killed him. You are a murderer.

The whispering voice of the black wave dug into his heart. Baek Seorim was not the one who killed Chairman Ryu. However, Seorim had decided to become the person who killed Chairman Ryu. Since only he and Ryu Yeonwoo knew the truth, in the eyes of the world, Baek Seorim was a murderer.

It’s scary. He had never experienced a wave like this before. His vision went dark, not knowing how he should live on. It was a suffering twice as deep as being cruelly beaten and forced to sell his body. If life was only full of such hardships, it might be better to just end it quickly, weakness puffed up its chest.

Maybe his very existence was a mistake. Because Baek Seorim was born to be unhappy, so, so.

The wave crashed over his body. The cold current slapped his cheek. In the blue chaos where he could not even open his eyes, Seorim thought of his mother. A shadow was cast over her face, but her moving lips were clearly visible.

‘It’s okay, my child.’

Mom.

‘It’s okay.’

Save me.

No matter how desperately he wished, his mother’s face and voice only grew fainter. His mother’s voice faded, and in its place, the sight of Chairman Ryu’s corpse and someone’s voice whispering, circling his ears, grew louder.

Murderer. Murderer. Murderer.

No, I’m not a murderer.

Chairman Ryu might have lived if you had reported it then. Didn’t you turn away because you wanted to escape? Murderer.

I wish someone would save me. For a moment, Ryu Yeonho’s face flashed by. He is not a savior. On the contrary, he is the victim’s son, who probably believes I am the murderer. It was only natural that he would resent me, not come to save me. But why, of all people, did he come to mind?

His mind forcibly erased Ryu Yeonho’s face. All that remained in the darkness was terror.

Murderer. Murderer. Murderer.

Listening to the shout that had almost become a song, Seorim woke up from his sleep.

Eeeee, the tinnitus that had been quiet for a while pierced his ear, painfully cold. His vision flashed white, and his heart pounded like crazy.

Murderer.

Even though he had escaped the clutches of sleep, the auditory hallucination tormenting his ears persisted. Clang, the cup Seorim had knocked over with his hand rolled on the floor. He was startled by the sound and his shoulders trembled.

The sound of the waves outside the window was heard intermittently. It seemed his eardrums were refusing to hear anything. A wave of nausea surged up. Is this place I’m lying in really the guesthouse room? On the white ceiling, the dead Chairman Ryu’s rotten-fish-like eyeballs seemed to overlap.

The sticky, spreading blood, the overturned lamp, the smell of blood scattering in the wind, all came to mind in succession. It felt as if vomit was rising to the back of his throat, and Seorim clamped his hand over his mouth. The tinnitus grew stronger.

Murderer.

His face pale, Seorim staggered to his feet. The terror that had gnawed at his brain reached out and seized him by the nape of the neck. He could not breathe properly. It felt like he had to get outside right away.

Mom, save me.

With that, Seorim got up and ran out of the guesthouse. The once peaceful scenery of his heart suddenly felt unfamiliar and threatening.

Murderer. There’s a murderer here.

The elongated shadows of the alleyway, the sea breeze that coldly brushed against his skin, seemed to be saying so.

All the sounds around him grew distant. The only thing ringing in his ears was the beating of his heart. A fear that felt literally as if the whole world was collapsing washed over him endlessly.

He needed a place to breathe, anywhere. If he went on like this, it felt like he would really be devoured by something. He had forgotten his circumstances, deceived by the uneventful daily life, that Baek Seorim was a fugitive who was supposed to live in this kind of terror.

Seorim ran aimlessly toward the beach. He thought the sound of the waves might hide this body of his. Because the mother he saw in his dream was also beyond the waves.

“Ugh, heuh, uwaah……”

Arriving at the beach, Seorim discovered a small cave nearby. And instinctively, he crawled inside it and hid his body. The inside of the cave was dark and full of moisture, but it allowed him to escape from outside gazes.

The sound of the waves, which had comforted his heart until now, now seemed to be rebuking him with all its might. Each time the waves crashed against the rocks and created white foam, his heart was chipped away.

He hugged his knees and tried to calm his trembling body, but his mind was filled with chaos and fear.

People will come soon. Chairman Ryu was the head of a leading conglomerate, a man famous enough that everyone in the world knew his name just by hearing it. Having witnessed his death, concealed the truth, and even run away, he would surely have to pay the price for this sin.

How long did you think you could run away. The world seemed to be laughing at him. This peaceful daily life was never yours to begin with.

How could you, how dare you.

I’m scared. I want to live. I want to run away.

The countless voices he had created himself threw his chest into turmoil. Seorim buried his face in his knees and let out a pained groan.

This isn’t normal.

If going mad like this was Chairman Ryu’s punishment and revenge, then it was a success.

Even as time passed, the sensation of someone grabbing his mind and shaking it to its core did not disappear. Seorim began to wish he were dead instead.

Yes, let’s stop.

I want to be at ease now. If he had to live like this for the rest of his life, it was better to quit. Let me go, he begged the sea, which was draped like black ink. The waves had no answer.

Seorim got up from his spot. The steps he took were drenched and squelched in the seawater pooled on the cave floor.

The sun had set at some point, and the moonlight was faintly illuminating the sea. The waves, as always, still gently caressed the shore.

The black sea is quiet. Quietness does not torment anyone. He could be free from the voices in his heart, from the afterimages of bad memories that kept tainting his vision, from the shackles of his past days.

His empty eyes turned toward the deep sea far away. His steps followed that trajectory, drawing closer to the waves. Seorim moved forward as if swimming and became one with the sea.

If I go on like this, can I get closer to my mother?

The tips of his toes slowly got wet. Then his legs, and further, his waist, and up to his chest, his body was submerged.

Can I become comfortable like this?

Until that moment, his heart pounded, thump thump, insisting that it was alive. But now, it really felt like it would be okay. Because everything is quiet here. Because he might be able to obtain true freedom.

Seorim let out a final breath and entrusted his body to the water mist.

The waves pushed his back. His body tilted and his balance collapsed. Salty seawater entered through his mouth and nose.

A pain close to suffocation pressed on his lungs. But he just wanted to sink. He relaxed his body and tried to fall asleep. In the seawater that enveloped his entire body, Seorim’s lips moved slightly.

His consciousness blurred. He could no longer feel the salty taste rushing into his mouth or the temperature of the ice-cold water. Soon, he will be free. Seorim let go of his consciousness just like that.

When he opened his eyes again, Seorim was lying on the beach.

Even after opening his eyes, he could not understand the situation for a long time. Shouldn’t he not be able to open his eyes? The fact that something was visible in his field of vision was so despairing.

Seeing as the rustling grains of sand pricked his skin and goosebumps rose on his flesh from the blowing wind, this was not heaven. Then did it mean that like an idiot, he had failed to even die? A hollow laugh escaped him.

“What the hell……. why, why.”

Why won’t you kill me. Why can’t I die.

Seorim muttered curses, letting out a laugh that was similar to a sob. His wet clothes stuck to the sand.

“Why won’t you even let me die, why. Why do I have to suffer. Why, continuously like this……”

Gradually, sorrow wedged itself between his sentences, and the laughter turned into crying. Transparent tears flowed ceaselessly down his temples.

He did not even have the strength to cry out loud. Seorim simply lay there as if thrown onto the beach and squeezed out tears. In the midst of a silent world, he cried sorrowfully with a small sound that seemed to be buried by the sound of the waves.

Mixed in his tears were resentment and fear, guilt and anger, and many other messily tangled emotions.

The wind blew. His body temperature dropped, and his body trembled of its own accord. Seorim placed a hand on his forehead, realizing he was shivering from the cold.

I’m alive. So what.

“……Fuck.”

Wet strands of hair flowed down his forehead. It was a moment when the chill and tears mingled and settled coolly.

The sound of dress shoes crushing the sand as they walked was heard.

“You’re always wet whenever I see you.”

And then, the unbelievable voice that followed.

Lying on the ground, Seorim’s lower lip dropped open. Was he really dead after all? If not, it made no sense for that voice to be heard now.

The noise of sand grains brushing against each other and breaking grew closer. At the end of his unfocused vision, a faint figure stood blankly. The silhouette drenched in the backlight and the hair scattering in the cold wind came into view.

Even without carefully checking the face, the presence was so obvious. He was too afraid to even say the name.

How on earth? Am I seeing hallucinations because I’ve gone mad?

Seorim barely lifted his powerless hand and slapped his own cheek. It stung and hurt, so it was not a dream. Even after the single impact passed, Ryu Yeonho was still standing in the same spot.

“What are you doing.”

His characteristic relaxed and gentle voice was the same as well. As he blinked a few times, his vision gradually cleared. Thanks to that, he could clearly see Ryu Yeonho lowering his posture and crouching down next to him.

“Lying sprawled on the ground, slapping your own cheek.”

“……”

“You’re a really strange kid, you are.”

A long finger brushed away the hair covering Seorim’s forehead. The touch, the body heat, were his. Ryu Yeonho was really touching his face. He was so surprised that he could not even speak.

“Did you lose your voice from falling in the sea?”

As he spoke, Yeonho helped Seorim’s upper body up. Because his clothes were soaked, the moisture seeped into his dress shirt. Due to the low temperature, his body trembled in convulsions of its own accord. Just like that day when Ryu Yeonho had pulled him out of the lake.

Yes, on that day too, Ryu Yeonho had wrapped his body like this. This time too, it was Ryu Yeonho. The one who saw him fallen on the dirt after being in the water, and held him in his arms, was always him.

Why, why.

Yeonho wrapped an arm around Seorim’s shoulders and said in a calm tone.

“Let’s go home.”

Where do I have a home. Where are you telling me to go. Do you mean to go back to that wretched mansion? His heart sank. That place was not a home, but a prison, no, it was closer to hell.

“……Are you, being serious with those words right now?”

“Then do I look like I’m joking?”

He was just the same. That way of talking that pissed people off, that unbelievably handsome face. When he swallowed, his Adam’s apple tightened painfully.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Why.”

“You came here knowing everything. Don’t talk about home.”

He had no idea what kind of emotion he was trying to stir up now. The situation was so unrealistic that the words in his heart flowed out without being filtered.

There was no particular change in Ryu Yeonho’s expression. He looked down at Seorim with an indifferent gaze, then took off his overcoat. Soon, the heavy coat landed on his wet shoulders. It was a warmth that only a person could give, neither too hot nor too cold. That was even more terrible.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Okay.”

“I said I don’t want to go.”

“I got it.”

It was strange. The cold he had not felt so strongly until now was felt vividly on his skin as he leaned against Ryu Yeonho’s embrace. He felt naked. This person always appeared at the most miserable, most want-to-be-hidden moments and stirred up his insides.

“Did you come to punish me yourself instead of the police?”

After he spat it out, his lips trembled. This question meant he was already anticipating the purpose of his visit. It is the way a sinner speaks.

Baek Seorim killed Chairman Ryu. Chairman Ryu is Ryu Yeonho’s father. Even if various circumstances were intertwined, he felt a sense of debt to him. He thought the only reason Ryu Yeonho had found him was for his father’s revenge.

At the question that flew out in a voice as thin as a thread about to snap, Yeonho stared down at Seorim.

“I, you?”

“Then why did you look for me.”

There was no reason for a busy person like Ryu Yeonho to come all the way to the remote and rough Ttangkkeut to find someone whose whereabouts were unknown.

“Why aren’t you saying anything. Why are you trying to take me away so quietly, so nonchalantly?”

He was still calm. That drove a person even crazier.

“So what is it? Are you going to take me and punish me? You’ll make me pay for my sins with your own hands? Or, don’t tell me.”

Suppressing his bursting insides, Seorim shot at him.

“Don’t tell me you came here to fuck me once?”

Contrary to the content, which was full of hostility, the voice that came out was sad and lonely. Instead of answering, Yeonho lifted Seorim into his arms. Since he had no strength left to struggle, Seorim said in the loudest voice he could manage.

“Hh, I said I don’t want to go! Let go of me.”

“I’ll let you go.”

“Don’t play with words. Please, just! If you’re a person too, Mr. Ryu Yeonho, just let me go. Leave me alone.”

As he continued to speak, emotions surged up. The moisture that had filled his eyes trickled down his cheeks. Without even the leisure to wipe his tears, Seorim grabbed Yeonho’s collar and whimpered.

“If you want a piece, I’ll give it to you. Can’t you just pretend you didn’t see me? Can’t you just take pity on me instead? I’m begging you.”

The demand gradually turned into a desperate plea. All the while, Yeonho, still holding Seorim, walked toward his car parked on the shore.

“I don’t want to be dragged away anymore. Heu-euh, just put me in prison instead. That would be better. I don’t want to be in pain anymore, I mean it.”

Click, the car door opened. Ryu Yeonho shoved Seorim, who was wrapped in the coat, into the passenger seat. Without any strength to resist, Seorim sank deep into the seat and sniffled like a child.

After personally fastening his seatbelt, Yeonho got into the driver’s seat and said,

“I’m not taking you anywhere. Just calm down.”

“Then……”

“You must have a place you’re staying, right. Don’t tell me you eat and sleep on that sandy ground? Is that why you were throwing a fit telling me to let you go?”

His way of speaking was the same, too. It felt like his mind was broken for feeling a sense of familiarity with Ryu Yeonho right now. As if punishing himself, Seorim grabbed his own bangs with his fingers.

“I’ll take you there.”

“I can go on my own two feet.”

“Barely able to lift a finger, you sure can.”

The scene of Ryu Yeonho turning the steering wheel and pulling the car out appeared in slow motion. It seemed his consciousness was not functioning properly.

“Tell me. Before I just pick you up and take you to Seoul.”

He was dizzy. In the midst of that, he would rather die than go to Seoul. Seorim swallowed a sob filled with the salty air and answered in a small voice.

“In the alley, the red-roofed guesthouse.”

As the sentence ended, the car glided smoothly toward the alley. He had not specified which alley, but strangely, Ryu Yeonho drove the car toward the guesthouse. Seorim watched the small residential area approaching in an instant with weary eyes.

Each time the sparsely placed streetlights in the alley illuminated the inside of the car, Ryu Yeonho’s eyes sparkled. A deep fatigue was embedded in his light brown eyes. He tapped the steering wheel a couple of times with his finger and muttered.

“……I don’t get it. Why a person who says they don’t want to be in pain would crawl into the sea on their own two feet.”

It was a nonchalant tone, but it revealed his displeasure. It was all a series of things he could not understand, from the reason he came here to his insistence on taking him there.

The car soon stopped in front of the guesthouse. Beyond the passenger side window, the familiar stone wall was faintly visible.

He tried to open the door himself, but his soaked body still did not listen to its master. The fingertips that grabbed the door handle trembled. Seeing this, Yeonho opened the door and got out without a word.

He could see Ryu Yeonho walking around the car and standing in front of the passenger seat. He soon opened the door and lifted Seorim into his arms with an indifferent touch.

“I’ll walk by myself.”

“If I put you down now, I don’t think you’ll make it inside until tomorrow morning.”

He had nothing to say. Seorim had to quietly watch as Ryu Yeonho lifted him up like a piece of luggage.

When they entered the guesthouse yard, the night air was already settling. A faint light cast over the iron gate descended over Yeonho’s shoulder.

The house was quiet. The grandmother seemed to be in a deep sleep, as there was no sign of anyone. A gentle light flowing from the room over the heated floor guided their steps.

Upon reaching the annex, Yeonho slightly bent his knees and stepped inside. The old country guesthouse and Ryu Yeonho were a terrible mismatch. The room felt far too small for him to enter.

The floor was warm. It was warm enough that a slight steam was rising from the thin blanket. The grandmother must have heated it for the guest who had not returned late into the night.

Without a word, Yeonho slowly lowered Seorim onto the blanket. Seorim fidgeted with his sand-caked fingers for no reason. He was embarrassed by his soaking wet clothes.

Seorim wriggled his body and took off the coat and his dirty clothes. Yeonho stood there quietly, looking down at the scene. His eyes were a familiar color. A temperature somewhere in between, neither warm nor cold.

It was hard to bear his gaze. From outside the window, the sound of the wind shaking the leaves could be heard. Leaning on the noise made by nature, Seorim let out his hoarse and cracked voice.

“Thanks, for taking me.”

“Yeah.”

“Why aren’t you leaving?”

Ryu Yeonho laughed as if he were dumbfounded. He sat cross-legged next to the bedding and said,

“I have nowhere to sleep.”

He wondered what that meant. It was not as if there were no other lodging establishments here, and with so much money he was practically rotting in it, he should be able to find a place to sleep anywhere. There was even the option of sleeping in his car.

“Why here of all places……”

“It’s big enough for two to sleep.”

And then he even lay down on the floor without warning. The sight of Ryu Yeonho in his suit lying down was so incongruous. He was probably the person furthest from this yellowed linoleum floor in the entire world. Seorim blinked and then turned his head away.

His situation of hiding here lacked a sense of reality, but Ryu Yeonho lying in this room with him was even more unbelievable. What on earth was he thinking. He was always like this. He would show up unannounced without revealing his intentions and turn his daily life into a complete mess.

Colorful paints splattered all over a white canvas. Ryu Yeonho was that kind of existence. Since he was not the one holding the brush, he could not stop the liquid from dripping down.

Why on earth.

Will he hand me over to the police when the morning comes? Why is he acting vaguely affectionate again and confusing people. How big of a revenge does he want to take.

The more the thoughts tailed each other, the more tormented he became. Seorim squeezed his eyes shut and burrowed into the warm blanket.

It was funny that even in this situation, he could not overcome his fatigue and was falling asleep. As if it were telling him that he was still alive and well.

🦅

Morning came quietly.

From somewhere, the sound of seagulls crying, caw caw, could be heard. It was faint, as if coming from very far away, but it was enough to wake him up.

Seorim did not move his body for a while, his eyes still closed. The sunlight that came in under his eyelashes tickled his eyelids. The clothes on his body rustled. It seemed the moisture had all dried up during the night thanks to the warm floor.

His head was heavy and his whole body was languid. He had no energy, as if he had woken up after sleeping while hugging a stone. His heart was twice as tired.

Night, the beach, the cold sea. And Ryu Yeonho.

It still did not feel real. Whether he was really here, or if it was just a fantasy that had passed by like a dream. He was a little afraid to open his eyes. Because he had no idea how he should act from now on, or what kind of time awaited him.

Should I run away? Where should I go this time? He chased me all the way to the farthest place from Seoul, so unless I really go abroad……

His head was a mess. Seorim, who had been agonizing while running his hands through his hair, slowly pushed the blanket away.

A feeling of hunger surged up from deep within his lower belly. To think that the guy who was writhing, not wanting to live, was now feeling hunger. A self-deprecating laugh escaped him.

He got up from his spot, opened the door, and left the annex. He had not even stepped onto the porch, but the savory smell of soybean paste stew wafted over. Saliva gathered in his mouth of its own accord, regardless of his emotional state. Instinct was truly that clueless.

Where is Ryu Yeonho.

Could it have been a dream from last night? The feeling of his skin being caressed and the scene at the beach where he had cried and screamed were vivid in his eyes. He, who had suddenly appeared and thrown his mind into chaos, made him extremely anxious even when he was out of sight.

It was the moment Seorim placed a hand on his fluttering chest. He heard a voice speaking from behind him.

“Oh my, child. What are you doin’ standin’ there.”

“Ah, Gr-Grandmother.”

“You really didn’t come home all night long. Do you know how much you worried this old woman, thinkin’ somethin’ happened at the beach.”

Smack, he got a slap on the bottom. The old woman was strong, too. Seorim gave an awkward laugh and fumbled with his own bottom.

“Lookin’ at you now, you came in lookin’ like a beggar.”

Having been swept away by the sea and then immediately fallen asleep, his appearance was bound to be not so good. Seorim tried his best to neaten his messy hair with his fingers. Seeing this, the grandmother clicked her tongue and said,

“Hurry and eat. You need to eat and then wash up.”

Pushed on the back by the grandmother, he entered the main room. And in front of the dining table he faced, a ridiculous figure was seated.

His eyes met Yeonho’s, who had his white shirt sleeves rolled up. The sight of him holding a spoon in one hand and bringing a scoop of soup to his mouth was strangely natural.

What is with that guy?

Seorim asked in a voice laced with utter shock.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m eating.”

“Why are you eating here?”

“She made it for me, so I’m eating.”

He soaks his rice in the soybean paste stew, which is full of whelks, and takes a bite. Then, Yeonho dips a green pepper generously in soybean paste and adds,

“You snore.”

“……Don’t lie.”

“It’s true. I heard you.”

Is this a person to be exchanging such stupid jokes with? Before Seorim could say anything, the grandmother came in holding a large plate.

“Here, I made some hearty side dishes today, so eat up.”

A kimchi pancake with crispy edges was placed on the table with a thud. Seorim, glancing at the grandmother, awkwardly sat down next to Yeonho. As if urging him to take a bite, his own bowl of white rice was steaming.

“Your friend brought you here last night. He’s tall and handsome, a real fine figure.”

It seems that face works on all ages. Seorim tore off a piece of the kimchi pancake with a sour expression and chewed on it.

The side dishes served today were, without a doubt, a country meal. Sweet seasoned vegetables, kimchi pancake, a piece of grilled fish, soybean paste stew, and seaweed. He doubted if a born-and-bred city person like Ryu Yeonho could eat it deliciously.

“This is a real feast.”

Contrary to his worries, Ryu Yeonho had already emptied more than half of his rice bowl. There was even a sense of leisure in the way he casually made conversation. He was dumbfounded to see him getting a meal so naturally.

He nonchalantly deboned a piece of fish and placed it on Seorim’s bowl.

“Eat well. It’s delicious.”

“What the……”

“Have you been living well, eating things like this?”

Seorim glared at him with eyes full of警戒, then pushed the fish and rice into his mouth, and Yeonho’s lips curved up at an angle.

“You’ve gotten ugly from being so grimy.”

All I have is my face, so does that mean I’ve lost everything? Seorim spat out the brittle thought internally and swallowed the grains of rice.

“You’re eatin’ well. Should I give you another bowl?”

Seeing Yeonho’s empty rice bowl, the grandmother picked up the rice scoop. Come to think of it, this was the first time he had seen Ryu Yeonho eat something with gusto. They had had breakfast together once, but that was more like torture than a meal, so he had no leisure to observe someone else’s rice bowl.

Is it because he’s big that he needs a lot of fuel? Watching as a new, heaping mound of rice was piled into Yeonho’s bowl, Seorim chewed diligently on the vegetables.

“The room’s not that big, so it must’ve been a bit stuffy for two people to sleep, but did you cover yourselves warmly with the blanket?”

“This one took the whole blanket.”

What is he saying. For a moment, he choked, and Seorim lowered his head and coughed.

“Then I’ll have to put in another spare one.”

“It’s alright. From today on, we’re going to share it nicely.”

From today on?

“Grandmother, is it okay if I stay for a few more days? I’ll be imposing in his room.”

“It’s fine by me. Rest comfortably and go. It’s nice, like my grandkids came to visit after a long time.”

Is he really crazy?

Unlike him, who was burdened with all kinds of shock and confusion, Ryu Yeonho was the picture of composure. Thinking to finish his meal quickly, Seorim lowered his head and shoveled rice into his mouth.

Ryu Yeonho’s elbow, visible in his peripheral vision, was too close. Ryu Yeonho had followed him all the way to this guesthouse in Ttangkkeut village, was staying in the same room, and was sitting together eating a meal. A nonsensical dream on a tiring day would have more reality to it.

“Thank you for the meal.”

“Oh, okay.”

After even taking his finished bowl to the kitchen, Seorim left the porch first. Yeonho followed slowly only after letting out a leisurely yawn.

Even after leaving the guesthouse and coming out to the narrow alley, Ryu Yeonho was still behind him. Seorim glared at the coastline sparkling under the sunlight, then turned around. The uninvited guest was looking at Seorim calmly, without even a flinch.

“What are you really thinking?”

“Why.”

“Who said you could stay for a few more days? Why are we using the same room. Does that make sense?”

Yeonho stroked his own chin, which was prickly with stubble from not having shaved, and said,

“Does it make sense for you to run away to the end of the mainland?”

“That’s……”

“Do you hate me being next to you that much?”

Ryu Yeonho had unnecessarily long legs. Just by taking one step closer, the distance became excessively near. Seorim looked at his slightly dirty shirt and swallowed hard.

“How could I possibly like it. I got caught running away.”

“Are you happy to be free?”

Rummaging through his pants pocket, Yeonho took out a pack of cigarettes.

“Then why did you jump into the sea. If you ran away so doggedly, you should live well.”

Click, with the sound of a lighter, the tip of the cigarette was lit. The smell of burning tobacco mixed with the fishy sea scent and rose up. It was quite similar to the presence that Ryu Yeonho, who had wedged himself into this village, exuded.

“You can’t even smile confidently because of guilt, and you’re trembling in fear of being caught. For someone with so little nerve, you do all sorts of ridiculous things.”

Is his own father’s death a ridiculous thing? No matter how bad their relationship was, his attitude was terrifyingly calm.

“If you’re going to call the police, then call them. If you want to beat me up yourself, then hit me.”

“You’re so skinny there’s nowhere to hit, you.”

Seorim did not reply to Yeonho’s words and instead walked toward the beach. As he walked along the sandy shore, the sound of the waves and the cries of the seagulls circled his ears. Yeonho, with a cigarette between his fingers, leisurely matched his pace next to Seorim.

It was frustrating because he could not figure out what the other person wanted at all. Watching Yeonho suck on the cigarette filter, Seorim bit his lip.

“Then what on earth do you want to do, coming all the way here from Seoul.”

“I didn’t come here to do anything.”

“Pardon?”

“I just came because I wanted to see you.”

At that one sentence, it felt as if his heart had dropped all the way to his stomach with a thump.

“I wanted to see you, but you weren’t there. So I found you.”

“Is that all?”

“Yeah.”

Yeonho nodded, exhaling cigarette smoke. Seorim’s pupils trembled with agitation.

“Are you in your right mind?”

“Why, again.”

“Your father died. I killed him. But you’re just taking a walk with me right now.”

“So what.”

After casually tossing the cigarette onto the sandy beach, Yeonho stepped closer to Seorim. Seorim instinctively stepped back, but the waves had already rolled in. Cold water wet the back of his heels.

“So full of fear. Am I going to eat you up or something?”

Yeonho raised his hand and brushed the sand from Seorim’s hair.

“How can I be comfortable when I don’t know what you’re going to do.”

“I won’t do anything. I just came to see you.”

“Why do you want to see me?”

“Well.”

Looking at Ryu Yeonho’s profile, he felt a complex mix of emotions. He could not understand his intentions, but he did not feel any falsehood. If so, it was even more of a question. A crazy person who acts without reason is the scariest kind.

In truth, he had a mountain of questions he wanted to ask. What happened to the mansion after that, did Chairman Ryu really die, is Yeonwoo okay.

But what actually popped out of his mouth was a completely different question.

“……Have you been well, Mr. Ryu Yeonho?”

At Seorim’s question, Yeonho blinked quietly. He replied in a low voice.

“Not really.”

The answer Ryu Yeonho sent back was short, and somehow heavy. Instead of continuing, Seorim turned his head away.

For a moment, the conversation was cut off, and silence flowed. The wind filled that empty space.

The waves gently rolled in and then lightly receded. The sound of the sandy beach being swept away tickled his ears with a swish swish. The wind, soaked in the smell of the sea, playfully shook the hems of both their clothes.

“I feel a little better now that I see you.”

Why?

It was probably the question he thought of most often when looking at Ryu Yeonho. Why, I mean, why on earth. Why are you, to me. Why am I, to you. Why are we.

“Don’t, come close.”

It was not a phrase referring to the immediate physical distance before his eyes. It was a statement filled with the sentiment of, don’t follow me, I’m scared of you. I am so very confused because I don’t know anything.

In reality, Seorim was. Whether Ryu Yeonho knew that he had, at least on the surface, killed Chairman Ryu, and if so, why he was acting so nonchalant. What was the reason for coming all this way and doing nothing. How big of a punishment did he want to give him. Am I just the murderer who killed your father to you, is that all I am. Everything was confusing and questionable, but the reality he had to face was so frightening that he just wanted to run away.

“Aren’t you curious?”

“……”

“About my father, or that mansion, or Yeonwoo.”

Suddenly, Seorim took a short breath. The decision he made back then to take the blame for Yeonwoo’s crime. He hoped that the child would not live a ruined life like him. Because of that, he had to be framed as a murderer and run away, but he did not regret his choice. Because that child was not broken yet.