NTH 92

“Were you still on my back? I couldn’t feel your weight at all, so I thought you had already gotten down.”

It seemed no one could beat that slyness. Sonyeong could not help but let out a chuckle.

Ten days later, when Sonyeong came to visit the shrine in the cave, he saw an unfamiliar object placed on the floor.

It was a straw mat. It was smaller than an ordinary mat, but much thicker, and on top of it was even a soft, thin blanket. It was an object whose intention was so blatantly obvious to anyone that Sonyeong let out a dry laugh.

“Come out, don’t hide.”

Sonyeong said without even turning around. A moment later, someone who had poked only their head out from behind the wall answered.

“Are you going to be angry?”

“Why did you bring something like this here?”

“Because I wanted to lay you down comfortably. Your back would hurt if you lay on the stone floor, wouldn’t it? And the cold would seep right into that delicate body of yours.”

“Why do I have to lie down? This is a ‘shrine’, not a ‘bridal chamber’.”

“You said it doesn’t even enshrine a real god. But if I earn money and prepare a ‘bridal chamber’, will you come into it then?”

Speechless, Sonyeong spun around. Meoru walked out from behind the wall, mumbling like a dejected puppy.

“You haven’t shown your face at all since that day. I missed you, so I twisted straw to make this every time, and before I knew it, it was finished like this.”

“…”

“Don’t just stand there, try sitting on it. It’s quite comfortable, you know.”

Meoru pulled Sonyeong’s hand and sat him down on the mat. Though he was forced to sit, the mat was much more plush and comfortable than Sonyeong had expected.

“You’re quite skilled. If you sold this at the market, you could get a lot of rice or cloth.”

Sonyeong said, feeling the texture of the tightly woven mat with his hand. Meoru also sat down close beside him.

“Really? Maybe I’ll become a mat seller when I get out of here.”

“You’ll receive a great reward from the country for the merit of saving His Highness the Crown Prince, are you all right with being just a mat seller?”

“I’m a lowborn. I’ve lived my life thinking I had nothing more to wish for as long as I had grain to not starve right away and a thatched hut to shelter from the rain.”

“Has that thought not changed even now?”

“It hasn’t, but now there’s something I want more desperately than a house or rice.”

“What is that? I will speak well to Her Majesty the Queen Dowager when this is all over.”

“It has nothing to do with Her Majesty the Queen Dowager. The thing I want is you, Sonyeong.”

Sonyeong’s mouth fell open.

“What did you say? My goodness, I’m at a loss for words.”

“Why. They say a real man should dream big. I fell for you from the moment we first met, and I’ve liked you more and more as the days go by. Now my dream is to marry you.”

“Stop joking. Am I not a man with a member, just like you?”

“What’s the problem with that? If we share affection, men can marry each other. Of course, we can’t have an heir, but since I’m a man of no root, my child would be a lowborn at best anyway. When I think about that, my desire for a child completely vanishes.”

“Then you could ask to be freed from your lowborn status as a reward. Those who have achieved merit can be freed. You could become a commoner, meet a good woman, and start a family.”

“Will you come to me if I’m freed? I just feel like I’d have no other wish if I could hold you, whom I like, in my arms every day. I’ve lived as a servant my whole life, so I’m good at housework, too. I’ll cherish you so that not a single drop of water touches your hands.”

“…”

“When I receive the reward, I’ll buy a house and a paddy field in a quiet place and farm diligently. I’ll also sell mats and feed you delicious rice and meat to your heart’s content. If you say your legs hurt, I’ll massage them, and if you say you have no energy, I’ll carry you. I’ll love you so you’re never lonely for your whole life. I’m confident I can revere you even more than the king.”

“Why are you saying such things now?”

“I’m proposing now that I’ve brought it up. Once you save the Crown Prince, you should quit that Gukbok thing or whatever and marry me, Sonyeong. I’ll make it so you never regret it for your entire life.”

Because Meoru spoke with such a sincere gaze, Sonyeong could not even laugh and was at a loss for words, hesitating. It was impossible for the words of a man ten years his junior to strike Sonyeong seriously. He also had no expectation that this feeling would last long.

But what was this feeling, like putting one’s bare body to a blazing furnace without any preparation and getting burned in an instant? It was an affection so fearsome and reckless that he could not handle it. Sonyeong’s heart stung before he even knew it.

Meoru, who had already taken Sonyeong’s hand and intertwined their fingers, spoke again.

“It’s the full moon in a few days. That ritual to lure the ghosts, you said you do it without fail on the nights of the full moon and the new moon, right?”

“Yes.”

“If I endure it well this time, give me a reward like last time.”

“No, that time was half in jest…!”

“Sonyeong’s spiritual power doesn’t diminish just because we touch bodies a bit, does it?”

“…”

“Tell me. If I touch you and kiss you, does your power weaken?”

“…That’s not it.”

Weaken? When Meoru’s overflowing yang energy entered Sonyeong’s body through the contact of saliva and skin, the energy he had exhausted fighting the spirits of the underworld was restored with surprising speed.

But if he told him that honestly, it was obvious Meoru would run even more rampant. That was why he had intended to end it as a one-time, accidental event.

“Then it’s settled. If the day breaks safely after the night of the full moon, let’s meet here. I’ll hold it in and wait until then.”

“…”

“Don’t forget that I proposed, either. It’s not a joke or a jest. I’ll wait for your answer every single day.”

Meoru, who was looking at Sonyeong with a gaze overflowing with possessiveness, lightly kissed the back of Sonyeong’s hand. His touch and every single action were excessively sweet and affectionate.

That was why. Sonyeong could not bring himself to tell Meoru the truth that he could not escape the position of Gukbok until he died.

The full moon rose, bright and clear.

Meoru bathed cleanly in hot water, just like last time. He also once again wore the cotton garment with jet-black thread heavily embroidered on the sleeves. If this garment contributed to making Meoru be mistaken for the Crown Prince, then the jet-black threads might perhaps be the Crown Prince’s hair.

The path was already familiar, as he had been there once before. When Meoru entered the Crown Prince’s room in the detached building, the silk bedding was already laid out. Sonyeong was sitting next to it with his back straight and proper. Meoru spread his arms wide towards him.

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting when you must have been so nervous for our first night.”

“Shut up and lie down.”

“Goodness, don’t be angry. The night is long and we have plenty of time. I’ll make it twice as enjoyable to make up for the wait.”

Ignoring Meoru’s playful banter as if he had not heard it at all, Sonyeong did not relax his prim expression. Meoru sat down facing him.

“You haven’t forgotten we’re meeting at the shrine tomorrow, have you?”

“As His Highness the Crown Prince’s age approaches twenty, the movements of the malicious spirits seeking to possess his body will grow even fiercer. No matter what voice you hear in your subconscious, you must never answer.”

“I’m not weak enough to lose to phantoms like them. And you said you’d take responsibility and protect me. Am I wrong?”

“Of course I will. However…”

Sonyeong frowned. Meoru, who had kissed his lips in an instant as if to bite them off, pressed and smoothed the space between Sonyeong’s eyebrows with his thumb as if ironing it.

“Then it’s fine. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll overcome it as easily as last time, and you’ll protect me. We will frolic affectionately like a pair of mandarin ducks tomorrow morning.”

Originally, Sonyeong detested men who made slick passes and jests. But he did not dislike the words or actions that this greenhorn of a man casually threw at him. He was even baffled and ashamed of himself for it.

Could it be because of his looks? Could his heart be swayed by that strong-featured face that shone even more handsomely and upright after washing? After living to this ripe old age, had he still not shed the foolishness of judging a person by their outer shell?

No. He had encountered many men with firm bodies, stately builds, and clean-cut appearances before. While appearance could have some influence, it was not everything.

Though he tried to push it away, in truth, Sonyeong already knew the reason why his heart kept reacting to Meoru.

Because it was sincere. Because Meoru’s gaze, words, and actions were always filled with a handful of hot sincerity, as if just pulled from the heart and still steaming.

When he so openly said he liked him with such clear eyes and a transparent heart without any calculation, when he shouted that his heart was moved to the point of wanting to spend his life with him and his body was moved to the point that his pillar would rise just from looking at him, how many would be able to turn a cold eye from a love like a lump of gold, unmixed with even a single drop of impurity.

That was why Sonyeong was afraid of Meoru. Afraid that he would make Sonyeong want to live as Sonyeong. Afraid that he would make him dream again of the ordinary, simple life of living affectionately with someone, a life he had long ago given up on, considering it no longer his.

Afraid that he would end up holding his hand, saying it was all right even if he became a great sinner, even if he became a fugitive for the rest of his life and had to hide his body in a remote mountain village and live the life of a hermit, no matter what price he had to pay.

What would happen when the day the Crown Prince turned twenty arrived, the task of saving him was successfully completed, and Sonyeong hid himself away deep inside the palace in the capital where he originally lived?

At first, he might miss him and wait, but after a month, two months, half a year, a year, he would grow tired and forget. The heart that had blazed like a furnace would shrink like a bonfire, and in the end, it would become as precarious as a candle flame.

The fond memories would fade to the point where he would doubt if they had ever really happened. He would come to tilt his head, wondering if Sonyeong too had been an illusion, just like the malicious spirits from the underworld. The carnal desire, stickier and thicker than blood, would become as thin, watery, and pale as water, and eventually he would turn his back and leave.

Therefore, it was right not to even allow a crumb of a broken heart. He had thought so from the beginning, and it had not changed now. And yet, and yet.

Why, did his heart ache so. For what reason.

“Sonyeong? Are you all right?”

Sonyeong, who had been spacing out, snapped back to his senses. Meoru was looking at him with a gaze full of worry.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I was lost in thought for a moment.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“It was a thought that has nothing to do with you.”

“Then I don’t like it. Don’t have your mind elsewhere when I’m right in front of you. Because I only think of you all day long, even when you’re not by my side.”

“I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious, but where on earth did you learn such embarrassing words? A young person like you.”

“When a man comes to love someone, they spring up from his throat on their own. To not know that, Sonyeong, you must have no experience of loving someone, have you?”

“If the standard for love is cheesy words that spring up from the throat on their own, then it is correct that I have not had any.”

“That’s a relief. That I can be the first and last man to win Sonyeong’s heart.”

“Setting aside the first, how can you guarantee the last?”

“Of course it’s the last. Because after you marry me, I’ll hide you away deep in a remote mountain village where not a soul can be seen, and I’ll be the only one to see you until you die.”

Sonyeong flinched. The content of those words was no different from a description of the life they would lead if Sonyeong truly ran away from his position as Gukbok and decided to be with Meoru.

“I don’t think I can do this. The more I look at you, the more I want to hold you and touch you, I can’t stand it. Just put me to sleep quickly now. So that it’ll be morning as soon as I open my eyes.”

“They might tempt you with sweet words, saying they will give you what you desire most, or take you to a good place, or bring you great wealth and glory. No matter what voice you hear in your subconscious, you must never answ…”

“The one and only thing I desire most in this world is Sonyeong, a good place is by your side even if it’s a grave, and a life of holding you and feeding you roasted sweet potatoes is great wealth and glory to me. But you said the ghosts can’t even get near you and are annihilated, so they can’t promise to give me you. Do you still think I’ll be bewitched by their voices?”

“…”

“If you understand, then hurry up and cast your spell on me. It’s hard to wait any longer.”