NTH 18

“Do whatever you want.”

After saying that, a sudden curiosity struck Jeha.

“You’re not going to tell Mr. Cheon about this, are you?”

Nana shuddered at Jeha’s question. “Of course not! If he finds out I got a phone, he’ll grill me about where it came from and how I paid for it. He might even take it away.”

“I see.”

“By the way, Mr. Cheon once told me to remember two things. Want to know the first one?”

“No idea.”

“‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch.’ Whether it’s material or emotional, everything you receive comes with a price.”

“And the second?”

“If someone buys you food or treats you kindly for no apparent reason, they’re one hundred percent one of two things.”

“What’s that?”

“A pervert or a con artist.”

“That’s a bold dichotomy.”

“You think there’s some truth to it?”

“To an extent. So, you’ve been wondering whether I’m the pervert or the con artist?”

“Not exactly, but I’ve never met someone who’s this overly generous to me, so it’s hard to get used to. All I’ve done to you is steal and mooch, so being treated this well feels… abnormal.”

“Which one can you handle better? Pervert or con artist?”

“Hmm, both suck, but do I have to choose? Okay, then what’s better: curry-flavored poop or poop-flavored curry?”

“Obviously poop-flavored curry. No matter the taste, it’s still curry. But curry-flavored poop, no matter how delicious, is still poop. Your turn.”

“…Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“The old me would’ve said the con artist is better. They usually just take money or stuff, so I could steal from someone else to make up for it.”

“That’s a very criminal mindset.”

“But a pervert makes me feel violated and could leave trauma for my future relationships. That’s harder to deal with.”

“That’s true.”

“But if the culprit was you and not some other guy, I briefly thought being a pervert wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, with your looks, I’d kinda be curious what kind of pervert stuff you’d do.”

“What? Ha, seriously…”

Speechless, Jeha burst out laughing. Nana continued in a calm tone. “But I actually thought you were nice to everyone because you’ve been so good to me. Guess that’s not the case?”

“What makes you say that?”

“On the sports festival day, while I was stealing that lunch, I overheard some students talking smack about you.”

“Oh? What’d they say?”

Jeha wasn’t particularly interested in what students said about him, but since he’d received perfect teaching evaluations last semester, he was curious what they were complaining about. It was also intriguing to hear something new.

Nana chattered on without hesitation. “They said you seem really gentle on the outside but actually have a bad personality. One said they mustered the courage to send you a message, and you coldly told them not to contact you about personal stuff, totally embarrassing them. Did that really happen?”

“Countless times. I don’t even keep track.”

“And what else? Oh, they said if they accidentally brushed your hand or arm, you’d make a disgusted face like they had germs and pull away. But your face is so good-looking they couldn’t stop staring.”

“If I don’t, they’ll get the wrong idea, so I have no choice.”

“And they said you never accept store-bought drinks, and when someone tried to give you homemade cookies, you rejected them like they were poison.”

Jeha laughed lightly. It was all completely true.

“Did you really do that?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? Isn’t it sweet that a student made something for you? And you’re a professor, no less.”

“As a professor, I can’t get too close to specific students. It leads to bad rumors. And homemade stuff is way scarier than store-bought.”

“Why?”

“You don’t know what’s in it, so it’s unsettling. You shouldn’t just eat stuff random people give you either.”

“Of course I don’t.”

“Really? That’s surprising. I thought you’d gobble up anything offered.”

“It depends. Free samples at product promotions or tastings in big plazas or main streets are fine. I check if others are eating, watch the staff, and ask for a sample when they open a new batch. That’s safe.”

Impressed by Nana’s unexpected caution, Jeha smiled quietly. Now he was curious about what Nana considered dangerous situations. “Smarter than I expected. So, what’s a risky situation?”

“If it’s a quiet street with few people, or they’re only offering food to someone alone, or there’s a heavily tinted van parked within fifty meters, you gotta run. You could pass out and get dragged into the van right after eating.”

“You’re so savvy about this—why’d you give me grief then?”

“You’re someone I know, and it’s from students. What, you think a student would put sleeping pills in cookies for a professor?”

“They might put something worse, so I don’t want to take the chance. And if word gets out I accepted something, it’ll be chaos.”

“Fair point. I saw the pile of gifts on your desk when I snuck into your classroom. Being a professor with your looks must be exhausting. But still, the students seemed pretty hurt by your cold attitude.”

Feeling playful, Jeha suddenly asked Nana, “Alright, I’ve got a question for you.”

“What?”

“Option one: someone who’s cold to everyone, including you. Option two: someone who’s kind to everyone, including you. Which one would you pick as a partner?”

“Hmm, option two.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want a partner who’s cold to me.”

“Let’s add another. Option three: someone who’s kind to everyone but especially kind to you. Which of the three?”

“Obviously three.”

“One last option. Option four: someone who’s cold to everyone but only kind to you. Out of these four, who’d you pick as a partner?”

“Uh… four.”

“Then from now on, in your categories, I’d like you to classify me as option four, not a pervert or con artist.”

Nana, quiet for a moment as if processing Jeha’s words, soon replied in a bright voice. “So, you’re saying you choose who to be cold or kind to based on your own will?”

Jeha smiled faintly. “Interpret it however you like.”

*

Hoping against hope, Jeha went to bed that night and, as expected, dreamed of a past life.

“When it comes to falcons, Joseon’s Haedongcheong is the best, isn’t it, haha,” said a man with the title of Jeopbansa, an official tasked with entertaining foreign envoys, laughing heartily.

The Qing envoy, his greasy face brimming with greed, guffawed along. “Is it true that winter falcon hunting is the most thrilling?”

“No question about it. We’ll capture starving winter pheasants alive and present them, so all you need to do, my lord, is sit back and enjoy.”

Of course, they would sit comfortably in warm furs, merely watching, while the grueling task of catching and taming falcons fell to their underlings.

In that life, Jeha held the rank of fourth-grade Chaebangbusa, named Shin Ilwoon.

A Chaebangbusa’s duty was to collect regional specialties from across the country and send them to the capital, Hanyang. These specialties varied widely, but Ilwoon, newly assigned to the role, was tasked with the most challenging of them all: falcons.

Thus, on a bitterly cold winter day, Ilwoon was dispatched to a northern border town to meet the Jeopbansa and the Qing envoy.

“Come, Lord Chaebangsa, join us for a drink,” the Jeopbansa said with a smile, offering Ilwoon a cup.

Ilwoon politely declined with a shake of his head.