NTH 46

With an unconfident face, Nana avoided Jeha’s gaze and looked down.

“…But it’s not really like you’re jealous because the mister and I were close. I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing.”

“Why do you think it isn’t?”

“Because Jeha knows very well that the mister and I have absolutely no relationship. That mister would feel the same whether he was carrying me or a panda from the zoo, right?”

“What if I still don’t like it?”

“Huh?”

Nana stared blankly at Jeha with the spoon still in his mouth. Jeha, who had turned his gaze away as if looking elsewhere, muttered.

“I still don’t like it.”

“Ah.”

Jeha suddenly turned his head to Nana and poured out his words like water from a burst dam.

“I hate it even though I know you have no feelings for each other and your relationship will never develop. It makes me so angry and unpleasant that your body touches someone other than me. I can’t even explain in words why I feel this intensely.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Why a piggyback ride of all things? There are so many places where you are pressed against each other. It’s annoying even to think about the parts that touched. I barely held it in today, but if I see that again next time, I think I’ll act unsightly, so don’t do it again. Got it?”

“Okay, I won’t. Really.”

When Nana, with his eyes wide open, quickly answered, Jeha, who had been staring at him, abruptly stood up from his seat.

“Let’s eat a little later.”

“Huh? Why? It’s all going to get cold.”

“I’ll heat it up again. Come here.”

With his wrist grabbed by Jeha, Nana moved his feet in a hurry and was pulled to lie down on the living room sofa as if sliding. Jeha, who embraced Nana tightly, buried his face in the nape of his neck.

“I don’t want to share you with anyone.”

“Okay. Take it all. Monopolize it. I’ll give you my share of Nana, too.”

“I’m not joking. Don’t ever cling to another person again.”

“I really won’t do it again. I didn’t know you would hate it so much, Jeha.”

“I contemplate dozens of times a day. Should I take a leave of absence from the university, or should I just quit altogether.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to go to work. Because I hate leaving you alone.”

“I’m fine. If you quit your job because of me, how are we going to live?”

“It’s not because of you. It’s because of me. I’m the one who hates being apart from you.”

“Then I’ll go to the university with you every day. I’m free anyway, so it doesn’t matter where I am. I can just sit in your professor’s office and solve 4th-grade math problems, or something.”

Jeha, who held back the laughter that was about to escape at those words, raised his head and looked down at Nana. He gently stroked Jeha’s cheek.

“I like you. A lot.”

“…”

“How could anyone else possibly catch my eye when I have a lover like this. My eyes are already so full of you that there’s no room to fit even a speck of dust.”

Instead of answering, Jeha’s lips sealed Nana’s mouth.

Jeha, holding the sleeping Nana in his arms and gently stroking his hair, counted the dreams of his past lives he had seen so far.

In the first past life he remembered, Nana was a tenant farmer on the verge of starvation, the second was a slave, the third was a leatherworker, the fourth was a falconer, and the fifth was a stable keeper.

He had not yet dreamed of his sixth past life. According to Goo Minho’s assertion, ‘a greater stimulus’ was needed as time went on, but Jeha had not yet been able to fully enter Nana.

The superficial reason was that Nana’s body did not seem to be getting much healthier, despite changing his living environment to be incomparably luxurious and mobilizing all sorts of injections, western medicine, and even traditional medicine.

However, to be honest, the bigger reason was ‘because I don’t have the confidence to be moderate once I start.’ It was obvious that he would be persistent, as the period of endurance had been long and difficult, and when it came to Nana, Jeha even lacked the will to tighten the reins on his lower body.

But regrettably, as Jeha’s frustration grew, Nana’s condition was not very good.

Unlike a few months ago when he would stuff himself with food for ‘storage’ whenever he had the chance to eat, Nana these days would put down his spoon after taking only a little, no matter how delicious the food was. His digestive function had dropped significantly, so he would often get indigestion from even slightly overeating, and his respiratory system was not good either, likely due to the cigarettes he had often picked up and smoked while living on the streets, causing him to become easily short of breath.

Nevertheless, his sharply defined face grew more beautiful by the day, and his lean, smooth body became more sensitive each time Jeha’s hands touched it, adding a sensual aura. Jeha wanted Nana greedily, as if seeking a drug. Even if he did not go all the way, there were hardly any days when he would let him sleep peacefully without doing anything.

Jeha came home from work at the earliest possible time every day. If he had a lot of work, he would bring it home just to keep to his return time. He would eat the dinner Nana made, walk with Nana in the apartment garden or watch TV, and then go into the bathroom together to wash up. After that, he would suck and bite Nana’s naked body until he was exhausted and fell asleep.

Nana’s dazed face, half-pickled in pleasure and sleep, excited Jeha like a beast. After reaching his climax a couple of times, Nana would be unable to hold on any longer and would drift off into a languid sleep, and Jeha would hold the completely naked Nana tightly in his arms, not letting him go until morning.

Jeha now did not want to imagine a life without Nana for even a single moment. When he thought of separating from Nana or his death, the deepest part of his heart would tighten with fear.

If Nana had always been reincarnated in the same period as Jeha, then the sixth and seventh past lives still remained. It was still an unknown whether all the mysteries about his connection with Nana would be solved after dreaming both dreams, or if he would be able to find a way to completely extinguish the parasitic soul.

While he tried to calm his heart, telling himself there was no need to be impatient since Nana was in his arms, his patience would run out whenever he remembered Goo Minho’s words that Nana’s current life did not have much time left.

However, unlike Jeha, who possessed most of the important memories of his past lives, Nana showed no such signs at all. Jeha became curious about whether Nana might still have some interest in the fields where he had shown ability in his past lives.

If past lives could have some influence on the present life, then perhaps some change or realization might occur in Nana when he was given an environment where he could do something similar to his past life.

Jeha decided to test it out slowly, one by one.

“Leather crafting?”

“Yes. I saw that a new workshop opened up nearby. You’re a quick learner, so I thought you could try it as a hobby.”

“Hmm. Sounds like it could be fun.”

When Nana showed interest, Jeha gave Chief Jeong a heads-up to go with Nana to a one-day trial class at a nearby leather workshop.

On the day he went to the workshop, Nana boasted to Jeha that he had made a small, flat card holder that could hold three cards.

“That’s cool. You stitched it very meticulously.”

“I got praised for not seeming like a beginner. Can I go there again? I want to try making other things too.”

“Sure. Tell Chief Jeong-nim and go as much as you want.”

After that, Nana went to the workshop periodically. He was worried about being ignored because of his faint presence, but thankfully, perhaps because Chief Jeong was with him, he did not seem to be treated like a ghost.

Nana proficiently made a key chain, a tissue cover, a men’s bifold wallet, a wireless earphone case, indoor slippers for the living room, a small crossbody bag, and so on, and gifted them to Chief Jeong and Jeha. Jeha was purely amazed every time he brought a finished piece home.

“I can’t believe it. With this level of skill, couldn’t you open a workshop of your own?”

“The teacher there said he’s never seen anyone like me. He said it’s like I’m possessed by the ghost of a master leather craftsman.”

“But you, don’t tell me you speak informally to that teacher too?”

“Yeah.”

As Jeha looked at him with an expression demanding an explanation, Chief Jeong let out a sigh.

“I’ve made it out that he’s not good with honorifics because he lived abroad.”

“You’re going through a lot, Chief Jeong-nim.”

Then, a short while later, Nana handed Jeha, who had returned from the university, something large wrapped in rustling, thin paper.

“It’s a gift. The teacher said there’s nothing more for me to learn, so I tried making my final piece for Jeha.”

When Jeha unwrapped it, a black men’s briefcase was revealed. It was a stylish and neatly made bag that could hold its own even when compared to the multi-million-won luxury bag Jeha carried.

Surprised, Jeha whipped his head around and asked Nana.

“You really made this?”

“Yeah. Except for the parts like the buckle and the zipper. I used the most expensive leather, too. I thought cheap leathers wouldn’t suit you at all.”

“It’s just amazing. Thank you. I’ll use it well.”

“There’s nothing to be thankful for since all the material costs were charged to your card.”

“But the effort you put into making it is huge. To think this was all stitched by hand, one by one.”

Jeha said, gently pressing down and stroking the stitching that was as neat as if done by a machine.

A tenant farmer’s specialty would be farming, but since that could not be tested in a short period of time, even setting that aside, it had been proven that Nana had more than ordinary talent in housework, the specialty of a slave, and leather crafting, the specialty of a leatherworker.

Jeha asked Nana, just in case.

“How was it, doing leather crafting? Your feelings or impressions, or any thoughts that suddenly came to you, was there anything like that?”

“Huh? Feelings? Well…”

Nana tilted his head slightly to the right again and looked up. It was one of the habits that had become familiar, which he often showed when he was lost in thought, choosing his words. After pondering for a moment, he looked back at Jeha and answered.

“It was much more fun than studying. It was nice to be able to concentrate on something, and I got used to stitching quickly, so it wasn’t that difficult.”

“I see.”

“But it was a little, how should I put it. There were times I felt a bit sad. I think it was especially bad when I was making the indoor slippers.”

“Indoor slippers, you mean… shoes?”

“Yeah. It was a very simple project compared to the others, but my mood strangely sank and I felt sorrowful. And Mr. Junsu said…”

“Who’s Junsu?”

“I mean the secretary mister who’s with me every day.”

“That person’s name is Yoonsoo.”

“Ah, is that so. Anyway, according to that mister, I’m unusually quiet when I do leather crafting.”

“Quiet?”

“Yeah. He said that on some days, I don’t say a single word from beginning to end, and even when he talks to me, I don’t answer at all. Just like a person who can’t hear.”

Suddenly getting choked up, Jeha gulped down the tea on the table. After calming himself down somewhat, he asked Nana.

“Aren’t you sad that it’s the last one? Don’t you have any desire to learn more?”

“Um… I’m fine for now. I feel like I’ve done plenty. I’ll think about it later.”

“Okay. Do that.”

From that day on, Jeha did not make Nana do any more leather crafting.

No matter how well Nana handled leather due to the influence of his past life, it seemed truly cruel for the emotions of Meokmeoki to be transferred to him as a result.

After that, Jeha decided to go to a place related to the fourth past life.

Although he had already seen animals like birds and cats following Nana once before in the university headquarters’ parking lot, Jeha took Nana to a nearby bird park, partly for an outing.