NTH 116

Jeha sighed, his eyes catching on Jin’s phone lying on the living room table. He had barely eaten dinner, and leaving behind the stinging glares of the retired old professor and other professors, he had rushed home only to find Jin gone and only his phone there.

Could he have run away? For a moment, his heart dropped, but Jeha barely regained his composure and touched the map-shaped app on his own cell phone. It was linked to the ‘N’ pendant on the necklace Jin always wore. Fortunately, it seemed he hadn’t taken off the necklace, as a red dot was glowing near exit 9 of Gangnam Station.

Immediately contacting Chief Jeong, Jeha learned that Jin had sent him a message in the morning saying he would be skipping the academy. He wanted to run out and bring Jin back right away, but in a state where he hadn’t yet reconciled with Jin, his sudden appearance as if he were arresting a criminal seemed like a bad scenario.

Jeha suppressed his impatience and sent Chief Jeong in his place.

Mr. Chief Jeong
Something big has happened! Mr. Jin went to the restroom, and Tak Sihun supposedly put an unidentified white pill into Mr. Jin’s drink!

Mr. Chief Jeong
Should I have him subdued immediately?

As soon as he read the new message, anger shot up to the top of his head. He had tried to understand that Jin had gone out to meet Tak Sihun because he was greatly disheartened by Jeha’s slip of the tongue.

But why, of all people, this piece of trash? The fact that a sub-standard, vermin-like human who secretly drugs people to try something had latched onto Jin was unspeakably unpleasant.

Tell him to bump into Jin as if by accident and spill it when he’s about to drink.

The meaning was for the bodyguard to pretend to stumble and bump into Jin, thereby preventing the unidentified drug from entering Jin’s mouth. If that plan failed and Jin drank the alcohol, he planned to immediately send in Chief Jeong to bring Jin out.

The bodyguard is right next to him, so nothing will happen. Jeha calmed his mind with diaphragmatic breathing.

Having gone to the restroom located outside the building, Jin washed his hands and looked blankly in the mirror.

The more he talked with Tak Sihun, the more Jeha got stuck in his throat like a thorn. He barely had enough time with Jeha, so what on earth was he doing here? As his feelings of sadness and upset gradually subsided, he began to miss Jeha and wanted to see him.

Would Jeha have arrived home by now? He slightly regretted leaving his phone behind in a fit of anger. Since Jeha had apologized that much, it seemed like a good idea to start heading home. He would go, talk things out properly with Jeha, and from now on, he would only take enough orders to enjoy knitting as a leisurely hobby.

When he came out of the restroom, Jin saw a familiar black car parked at a distance. As Jin looked in that direction, the car hastily reversed and then left the spot as if fleeing.

He couldn’t see the license plate, but it was undoubtedly Chief Jeong. Smirking, Jin went back inside the chicken place. As soon as he returned to his seat, he said to Tak Sihun.

“I think I’m going to get going now.”

“What? Already?”

“What do you mean, already? It’s late. It’s past ten.”

To Jin, who hadn’t been out and about by himself at this hour for the past year, it felt quite late, but of course, it wasn’t for Tak Sihun. To him, a vigorous man in his twenties, ten o’clock was no different from early evening.

“You’re still not over it. I was planning to go to a karaoke bar and an arcade too.”

“I can’t sing.”

“It’s okay, you don’t go there to sing well.”

“I don’t know how to play any arcade games either.”

“There are a lot of fun ones. I’m good at claw machines, so I’ll win you whatever you want.”

He had wanted to try a claw machine at least once, but there was no need to do it with Tak Sihun. Jin thought he should try it on a date with Jeha later. Jin shook his head indifferently.

“No thanks. I’m going home.”

Tak Sihun didn’t try to persuade him further and, lifting his glass, gestured to Jin.

“Then let’s at least finish the rest of the drinks before you go.”

Jin’s gaze briefly rested on the table in the diagonal direction. A large man who had ordered chicken and coke by himself had been restlessly getting up and down in his seat for a while now. Pretending not to have seen him, Jin looked down at his own glass with a normal expression.

Staring blankly at the glass, he pressed the ordering tablet installed on the table and ordered a new 300cc draft beer. Tak Sihun, who had been watching Jin’s actions with a questioning face, gave a gentle smile.

“Why, did you feel like drinking it without the soju mixed in?”

Jin didn’t answer at all. When the employee brought the new beer, Jin drank it in one shot without a single pause. Regardless of whether Tak Sihun’s eyes widened or not, he placed the empty glass on the table.

“I drank it, so that’s that, right? I’ll be leaving first.”

Bidding farewell to Tak Sihun, who was staring at him with surprised eyes, Jin stood up, holding his somaek glass that was more than half full. And he went to the man in the diagonal direction who had caught his eye earlier. To the man who hurriedly stuffed chicken into his mouth in surprise, Jin handed the beer glass.

“Please give this to Mister Yoonsoo.”

Leaving the two bewildered men behind, Jin went to the counter, took out a check card engraved with NA JIN, and paid for the food at both tables. The money he had earned from knitting the twins’ hats a while ago was more than enough to cover it.

“There’s nothing to explain. You know, Sihun is just an academy teacher. Compared to Jeha, he’s not even worth a squid or a webfoot octopus, so I don’t know why you care so much.”

“Don’t call him Sihun.”

“That’s his name, what should I call him then?”

“Tak Sihun, Teacher Tak, no, Mr. Tak… Just call him ‘that bastard’.”

Giggling at the words ‘that bastard,’ Jin got up from the sofa and came closer to Jeha. He then climbed onto Jeha’s lap, leaned his head on his shoulder, and hugged him tightly. Even though he was dumbfounded and still angry, Jeha’s arms moved on their own like a pre-programmed robot and wrapped around Jin’s waist.

As he hugged the thin body tightly, something that had been knotted and clumped in Jeha’s chest slowly unraveled. His furiously burning heart felt as if it had been plunged whole into ice water and cooled, his mood refreshingly purified. Jeha once again had a premonition that he would have no choice but to lose to Jin this time as well.

“I was upset, so I skipped the academy and was at home, and ‘that bastard’ sent me a message and told me to come out.”

Jin, nestled in Jeha’s arms, spoke slowly in a small voice. Feeling a short, intense pain somewhere in his chest, Jeha squeezed his eyes shut.

“Why did he tell you to come out.”

“He asked if I had fought with my boyfriend, and when I said yes, he said that’s what friends are for, to talk about such things.”

“Hah…”

Jeha clenched and unclenched his fists. A reconciliatory mood was just forming with Jin, and it would be troublesome to throw a tantrum over something that was already over. He had to endure it, even if it meant gritting his teeth.

“I went and had some chicken and somaek and talked about this and that, but the more I did, the more I thought of you, Jeha, and missed you. And I started to feel like I was wasting my time.”

“Mhm.”

“Then I went to the restroom and came back, and what do you know, the handle of the beer glass was turned.”

“How did you know that?”

“He occasionally showed his lustful intentions, so it made me uneasy, so I deliberately left the handle facing my way before I left. When I came back, it was turned sharply to the left.”

According to the S-Team bodyguard, the drug that was dropped in hadn’t completely dissolved and had sunk to the bottom, so Tak Sihun had brought Jin’s beer glass over to his side to stir it with chopsticks. If he had been a more meticulous guy, he would have paid attention to the handle’s position, but it seemed ‘that bastard’ was not a professional criminal.

“Good job. You’re really wise.”

Jeha’s large hand lightly patted Jin’s back. Although he had put in place double and triple safety measures with the S-Team bodyguard and Chief Jeong, Jin’s initial response was impeccably excellent. Imagining what might have happened by now if Jin had mindlessly drunk that alcohol in a place where Jeha’s power couldn’t reach, strength naturally entered the arms holding Jin.

“You heard what happened after that from Mister Yoonsoo, right? What did he do?”

How cute he was, asking so innocently. Jeha ran his fingers through Jin’s hair, gently combing through it.

“He said he immediately took the beer glass to the police station and filed a complaint. Since the act of putting the drug in would have been caught on the chicken place’s indoor CCTV, that bastard will soon be summoned to the police and investigated. I told him to hire a lawyer and proceed, so you don’t have to worry about anything.”

Even if it was just an attempt, a crime was a crime. The other side would also hire a lawyer and make all sorts of excuses, but Jeha intended to handle it according to the law without any settlement.

“I’m going to quit the academy. It’s awkward to see him. I’m going to block and delete his number too.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve learned quite a lot so far, so from now on, I’ll study on my own at home with workbooks.”

“Do that. I’ll get you a tutor for math, someone skilled.”

After that, they were silent for a long while, only counting each other’s heartbeats, until Jin suddenly opened his mouth.

“Yesterday, I was pretty upset.”

Kissing Jin’s cheek, Jeha hugged him even tighter.

“It was all my fault. That was absolutely not my intention, but my words came out badly. I’m really sorry.”

“I know what you were feeling. I knew, but I was still sad, and I felt shabby. But as I was coming home, I thought about it calmly, and I think I was being too neglectful of you, Jeha, in the name of knitting.”

“I wasn’t able to take proper care of you for a while either, working late. And yet I wouldn’t even let you go out, saying I was anxious.”

Having confessed their own sins in turn, the two were silent for a moment. The one who broke the silence first was Jeha.

“I know how petty and pathetic I am, but you are such an attractive person that I’m always anxious about putting you out in the world.”

“You’re overreacting again.”

“Just look at ‘that bastard,’ he was pestering you while even committing a crime. There will be more people like that in the future, and I think I’ll be tormented by the desire to lock you up at home every time.”

Leaning his upper body slightly away from Jeha, Jin cupped his cheeks with his hands. Jeha, who avoided Jin’s gaze with a furrowed brow, looked truly tormented. Why would this perfect man who has everything love him so desperately?

What if it were the other way around? If all the conditions Jeha had were transferred to him, and Jeha had nothing left, would his feelings for Jeha change? Would he be able to tell Jeha he wanted to meet someone better now and say goodbye? No matter what changes came, could he endure even a single day without desperately loving him?

The answer was the same a thousand years ago as it was now.

“You know. Just as you never waver, Jeha, neither do I.”

Jeha’s face contorted in pain. Loving someone too much is sometimes painful. Even when no one is interfering, even when there are no obstacles, the very feeling of being madly in love is a great torment that a human cannot control on their own.

“…I love you.”

Still, I love you. Because I don’t know how not to love you. Even if the act of becoming pathetic, foolish, and petty is repeated countless times, leaving me struggling with self-loathing each time, what can I do when I can’t even sleep, feel hungry, or even breathe comfortably without you?

As long as I am alive, I have no choice but to love you.

“I love you more.”

Jin, who had once again rushed into Jeha’s arms, bit his shoulder. Lifting Jin into his arms, Jeha stood up and walked urgently towards the bedroom, muttering.

“You’re wrong. I love you more.”

It was not déjà vu. Nor was it a recollection of the past. The conversation, repeating itself each time like a script, was a live broadcast of a love that had just been refreshed.

It had just taken a little long to get here; it was a love story a thousand years in the making, not so different from any other.