NTH 24

“Hah. You’ve really hastened your own death.”

“After doing that, I didn’t feel like smoking anymore. I guess I got sick of it.”

“That’s a good thing.”

“But is it okay if I keep this?”

Nana took something out of his pocket and showed it. It was the luxury lighter Jeha had given him before.

“I don’t mind, but what are you going to do with it if you’ve quit smoking?”

“I’m just going to keep it. So that even if I can’t see you someday, I’ll think of you when I see this. It’s like a memento.”

Watching Nana put the lighter back into his pants pocket, Jeha spoke in an indifferent voice.

“You haven’t been working for that long and you’re already thinking about quitting. And you, you still skip breakfast and lunch, don’t you?”

“Huh? How did you know?”

“A guy who used to eat only once every few days isn’t going to suddenly start eating three square meals a day.”

“After eating dinner with you like this, I’m not hungry until the next day.”

“From now on, get into the habit of eating three times a day, without fail. Did you get the spicy fish stew ingredients from the supermarket?”

“Yeah. I put them in the fridge.”

“Take your time and eat. I’ll cook it for you.”

Jeha, who had skillfully prepared the ingredients, began to cook the spicy fish stew. Nana, who was watching him quietly, spoke.

“Hey, you really don’t have a girlfriend?”

“Why again.”

“Do you have one?”

“No.”

“When was the last time you dated someone?”

“I don’t remember.”

“No way. Or are you by any chance a virgin who’s never been in a relationship? Do you believe in some religion that forbids sex before marriage?”

“…Think whatever you want.”

“Have you slept with a British woman? What are foreign women like? Do they feel it more? Are they more passionate?”

“That depends on the person. It’s not a matter of nationality.”

“Then have you done it with a man too?”

“Are you a child? You’re so curious. What about you, do you have any experience?”

“Expecting chastity from someone living on the streets with nothing but their body is unfair. I’m just wondering, what kind of woman would it take to date a guy like you.”

“What do you mean, a guy like me.”

“You’re just so overly perfect, like you’re from another world. Living in an expensive house like this, driving a foreign car that costs a fortune, your job is a professor at a prestigious university, your looks rival a movie star’s, and on top of that, you’re good at cooking and housework.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“I’m only stating the facts, you know? With specs like these, I feel like your personality would have to be at least a little bit trashy to strike some balance. If not that, then something much more fatal…, ah! Maybe you’re impotent.”

“Stop writing a novel.”

“Erectile dysfunction? Premature ejaculation? Paraphilia? A fetish?”

“I told you to stop. And why are they all about sexual dysfunction?”

“Because I’ve cleaned every corner of this house for over a week and I couldn’t find any physical evidence of you satisfying your sexual desires.”

“What did you say?”

Jeha, who was about to taste the spicy fish stew for seasoning, whirled around to look at Nana with a horrified expression. Nana, shrugging his shoulders, wore a nonchalant expression.

“This is a house where a healthy man in the prime of his life lives alone, isn’t it?”

“So.”

“Even after the weekend, there’s no trace of a woman having been here, no dirty books or magazines, no tissues with semen stains in the trash can, the bed sheets are neat every day, this seems even worse than the home of a monk or a priest.”

“Trying to find traces like that, you’re no different from a malicious stalker.”

“I’m just saying that’s what I noticed while cleaning. Or do you perhaps get excited while reading academic papers written in English?”

“It is thrilling when I see a new theory or an interesting experiment.”

“Ugh, you pervert! I literally just got goosebumps. So this was your flaw? A man who gets more excited by academic papers than by women!”

“Stop fooling around, and as for you, never take a picture like the one from earlier again, and don’t even think about sending it to others. How can you be so reckless, what if it gets misused?”

“The bubble bath picture? You keep talking about that picture, earlier and now. What’s wrong with it?”

“You’re asking because you don’t know? You took it while you were completely naked. What would you do if I lost my phone?”

“Even so, it’s not a sex or masturbation video, it’s just a picture of me taking a bath. But by any chance, is that kind of thing worth money? How much do you think I could get for one of those?”

Jeha’s expression hardened at Nana’s words, who asked expectantly with wide eyes, and he lowered his voice.

“You’re going to get a scolding.”

“Ah, alright, I get it. What’s this, you’re a totally conservative Confucian man, aren’t you? Just as expected from a professor.”

As he served the spicy fish stew to the grumbling Nana, Jeha resolved to somehow give this immature person a thorough lesson in cyber safety in the future.

“I’m at Haengseong Station, how far are you?”

“In front of Haengseong Station, exit 2.”

“Ah, turn your head to the left now.”

Jeha looked across the street beyond the driver’s side window. Nana, standing in front of a pharmacy, was waving his hand while holding a small white plastic bag. As soon as he hung up, Nana crossed the crosswalk and got into the passenger seat. Jeha, seeing the pharmacy bag in Nana’s hand, asked.

“You went to the pharmacy?”

“Yeah.”

“Why. Are you sick somewhere?”

Jeha’s brows furrowed slightly as he recalled the memory of Nana coughing up blood. Nana shook his head from side to side.

“No, I bought motion sickness medicine.”

“Why motion sickness medicine?”

“You said it takes nearly two hours by car. I’ve never gone that far before. What if I get carsick?”

Nana opened the cap of the tiny, toy-like medicine bottle and poured the liquid into his mouth. After gulping down the medicine, he took something out of the plastic bag and held it out to Jeha.

“Here, this is for you.”

“Why Bacchus, too?”

“I thought you’d be tired driving for two hours. I didn’t steal this, I bought it with money I earned through honest work, so don’t worry and drink it.”

Although the money he had earned honestly had all come from Jeha’s pocket, it was the first time Nana had bought him something, so Jeha felt a strange emotion.

“Thanks. I’ll enjoy it. Now put on your seatbelt so we can leave.”

“Okay.”

As Nana hummed a tune and buckled his seatbelt, Jeha started the engine and drove off. Perhaps because the neighborhood where Nana lived was on the very edge of Seoul, they were able to get on the highway shortly after they started.

“Who are we going to see now?”

Nana, who had been looking out the window for a long while, asked with his gaze still fixed outside. Since he couldn’t honestly say they were going to see a Gumiho who was nearly a thousand years old, Jeha answered in a roundabout way.

“An old friend of mine.”

“But why did you ask me to come along? I came out because you said you’d buy me a meal, but still.”

“That is… at that friend’s house, there’s something you might like.”

“What is it? Money? Jewels? Or something expensive to steal?”

“Don’t even think about it. If you steal anything from there, you’ll have nightmares until the day you die.”

“Why? Is your friend a cop or something?”

“That might actually be better.”

Nana, who was muttering to himself wondering who on earth this friend was, looked out the window and shouted loudly.

“Jeha! There’s a rest stop 1km ahead!”

A little startled by Nana suddenly shouting his name, Jeha glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.

“What about it. Do you need to use the bathroom?”

“No! I want to look around the rest stop! Let’s go, please?”

“You’ve never been to one?”

“Nope. It’s my first time on a highway.”

Changing lanes, Jeha pulled straight into the rest stop. After getting out of the car, Nana pointed towards the side where the shops were lined up.

“I want to go there first!”

“Alright, but don’t run where cars are driving and come here.”

Feeling like he had brought a kindergartener with him, Jeha held out his hand to Nana. Without any hesitation, Nana grabbed his hand.