NTH 65

One day, as Christmas was drawing near, a heavy snowstorm fell over Seoul, so severe that it was impossible to see what was in front of you.

Jin was sitting on a chair placed by the wide terrace window, staring blankly outside. He was wearing winter pajamas and the cashmere sleep socks that Jeha had gifted him.

“It’s cold, why are you out here like this.”

Jeha entered the terrace with a blanket and hot tea. He wrapped the soft, large blanket around Jin’s body and sat down beside him.

“It’s warm, though. It’s amazing that the terrace is heated too. Look over there. It’s snowing so much.”

“It is. Have some tea. I made it with the lemon syrup you made.”

“Okay.”

Jin held the cup in his hands and blew on the tea to cool it. Jeha watched him quietly while drinking his coffee. Jin took a slurp of the well-cooled lemon tea.

“You know, around this time last year, there was a day it snowed this much too.”

“Yeah.”

“Back then, I was so cold I thought I was going to freeze to death.”

“Yeah.”

“Summer is sticky and unpleasant, so it gets on my nerves, but it’s more or less bearable. If I find a place with air conditioning and camp out, I’m cool.”

“Yeah.”

“But winter always threatened my survival. I’d wander around searching for a place to hide and sleep for the night, wondering if I would starve to death or freeze to death by the next morning. The falling snow felt like a curse coming down to tell me to die quickly.”

Unconcerned by Jeha’s pained expression, Jin continued in a calm voice.

“So, it just struck me as unbelievable that I’m here now, watching the snow fall in such a warm and luxurious place without a single worry.”

“You’ll never have to suffer like that again, so don’t wear yourself out thinking about the past.”

Jin, who had been looking out the window the whole time, turned his head to meet Jeha’s eyes.

“Jeha. You know, by any chance, do I not have much time left to live?”

Jeha’s heart dropped, and he reflexively furrowed his brow as he answered.

“Absolutely not. Why would you say that?”

“You and Mister Yoonsoo are so overprotective of me, and I’m going to the hospital more and more often, so I was just wondering.”

“You’re supposed to go often when you’re fine. It’s too late to go after the illness has already progressed a lot.”

“So I’m okay? I’m not living on borrowed time or something?”

“No, you’re not.”

“Really not?”

“I said no.”

“Put your hand on your heart and look me in the eye and say it.”

Without hesitation, Jeha placed a hand on his chest and gazed steadily into Jin’s dark eyes.

“You’re going to live a long life with me. You’ll live to be over a hundred.”

Because I’ll make it so. Once the parasitic soul is extinguished and you get all your energy back, you won’t ever be sick, and you’ll live with me until we’re old and dead, so happy it will be boring.

Jeha was confident that there wasn’t a shred of falsehood in the words he had just spoken, so he could wear a genuinely dignified expression. After having a staring contest with Jeha like that for a moment, Jin suddenly pouted.

“Then why won’t you go all the way with me, Jeha?”

Jeha froze, his hand still on his chest. Jin furrowed his neat eyebrows.

“You say you like me so much, so why won’t we have sex?”

“That’s…”

Looking frustrated, Jin slammed his palm on the table with a thump thump and pressed on as if interrogating him.

“Are you satisfied just stripping me down and licking and sucking me every day, Jeha? Are you some kind of pervert? Why won’t you put it in when I say you can?”

“It’s because I’m worried about you.”

“Why are you worried? Because my body is too weak to be able to take you? Is it because I’m living on borrowed time after all?”

“No, that’s not it…”

“Then what is it? Ah, come to think of it, you’ve never gone all the way with a guy, have you? Does the thought of putting it in a guy’s hole turn you off?”

“…That’s not it. You have no idea how hard I’m holding back every day.”

“So I’m asking why you’re holding back.”

“That…”

Jeha was at a loss for words. He took Jin’s hand, which was held by a man with wide eyes and a firmly angry expression, and wrapped it in his own.

“Just holding your hand like this makes my heart race uncontrollably.”

“Liar.”

“It’s true.”

Jeha pulled Jin’s hand and placed it on his own broad chest. As Jin stood up and moved to stand right in front of him, Jeha’s pulse quickened noticeably.

“Jin. I, I’m so crazy about you that even I can’t believe it.”

“But why…”

“Because I think I’ll lose my reason. Because I feel like I’ll become a beast that just fucks and thrusts and cums from morning to midnight. Because I feel like once I start, I won’t be able to stop until I’ve completely broken you. That’s why. I’m so scared of myself.”

As Jin listened without a word, Jeha spoke in a timid voice that was completely unlike him.

“This is the worst. A guy like this, he must seem like a real pervert.”

Jin pulled Jeha’s head toward him and held it to his chest.

“No. To be honest, I knew you were doing it because you were worried about me. But you know, you can’t know that without trying, can you?”

“I’m sure it will be like that.”

“How can you be so sure? Have you ever acted like a sex fiend high on drugs like that with anyone else?”

Yes, with you, in a past life.

Jeha recalled Euntaek, who had held Yeoheun until the night passed and the rooster crowed. But in Jin’s arms, he shook his head from side to side.

“If you could see inside my head right now, you would run away, even if it meant breaking through that snowstorm. I want you in a dirty and hideous way. I’m enduring and enduring because I don’t want to lose you, so please don’t provoke me.”

“If I’m in that much pain and having such a hard time, I’ll just kick you away.”

“Huh?”

Jin held Jeha’s head with both hands and made him look up.

“I’m saying that if I want to stop, I’ll make you stop even if I have to bite down hard on your dick. So don’t hold back anymore. Okay?”

Jeha felt his whole body throb with a thump thump. Even in that state, he barely managed to speak to Jin, who was staring intently at him.

“Are you really going to be okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You won’t get angry even if I go wild?”

“Yeah. But please be a little gentle at first. I haven’t used my ass that many times so actually, I’m just a tiny bit scared.”

The bravado with which he had cornered Jeha was nowhere to be seen as Jin slyly tried to backpedal, but Jeha swept him up in his arms with a whoosh.

“It’s too late to be acting weak now.”

Jeha, having laid Jin on the bed, pressed his lips to his and hurriedly unbuttoned his pajamas. Unlike his usual calm self, he tangled his tongue hastily, sucking as if to devour him, and Jin opened his mouth, panting for breath. That kiss was the fuse that set Jeha’s entire body on fire.

Tossing away Jin’s cumbersome pajama top and pulling down his pants and underwear in one motion to throw them far away, Jeha opened the drawer next to the bed and took out a condom and gel.

He squeezed out enough gel to make it flow dripping down the crack of Jin’s ass, and moving his hand down, he began to gently rub Jin’s back hole. At the same time, he took Jin’s penis full into his mouth, and Jin moaned, his face flushed red.

“Uungh, haa…!”

Jeha carefully pushed a finger, slippery from being smeared with gel, into the hole. Perhaps because Jin was more tense than expected, it felt like a struggle with just one.

“Jin, it’s too tight. Relax your body a little.”

“Hnng, ungh…, it’s strange…”

As Jin made a whining sound, Jeha grew even more impatient. He pushed his finger in deeper and moved it little by little to widen the inner walls, while at the same time, he sucked hard on Jin’s penis. Jeha’s cock, which had become quite heavy in the meantime, throbbed and spasmed on its own.

Taking advantage of the opening becoming a little softer, he pushed another finger into the hole, and Jin’s inner walls clamped down on it with great force. As he cautiously moved his fingers in and out, back and forth, the surrounding inner walls gradually began to ripple.

Jin whimpered in a moan-laced voice.

“Uungh, wait, I think I’m about to come already.”

“It’s okay to cum.”

“No, huut…, in your mouth, I don’t want to.”

“Why.”

“Ahht, that’s a bit, you know. Uungh, ah…”

Jin reached out his arms and pushed insistently at Jeha’s head, but he didn’t budge, solid as a rock. There had been a few times before when he couldn’t hold back the pleasure and had ejaculated in Jeha’s mouth, but Jin was embarrassed every time it happened.

“Don’t worry about it and let it out.”