MERRY 38

“Will you let go? I’m not going anywhere.”

I was still holding him around the waist. It wasn’t hard to unwrap my arms and give him his freedom, but I didn’t want to. It felt unfair.

“You’re, ha, holding me too.”

Ethan’s hand, which had been kneading the nape of my neck, was now caressing my shoulder. Gently, as if soothing a raging beast that had lost its reason. Calming me down while I was still panting slightly.

Unlike my heated state, he looked composed, but the reality was different. The thick, elongated length pressing against my thigh sent a surge of hot excitement through me. Ethan’s body temperature was perhaps even higher than mine, and his muscles were more swollen.

“I didn’t ruin your clothes.”

There was a faint trace of laughter in his quiet whisper. Far from worrying about clothes, he was clearly enjoying the situation.

“I haven’t either… yet.”

Refusing to back down, I dug between Ethan’s legs with my thigh and pulled him in even harder. In the process, a button at the bottom of his shirt ripped away.

“Now you can scold me.”

The line we crossed together was just like that button. Something irreversible. Something that had finally burst.

We kissed fiercely again. Every time our lips met, a messy, wet sound tangled between us, but I didn’t care. Saliva mixed and the friction grew more intense. I was easily exhilarated by the shock of this unfamiliar act. I enjoyed it blindly back then, but looking back, it was a pretty scandalous kiss. Naturally, I wanted to strip Ethan’s clothes off; one button wasn’t enough.

The reason resting behind my instincts woke up and painted his naked form. The body created by my imagination was similar yet different from the real thing. I felt that difference vividly as I impatiently pulled off Ethan’s shirt.

His chest muscles were more developed than I thought, and his frame was quite sturdy. His fair skin was just as it was in my head, but I hadn’t realized his nipples would be such a pretty pink.

The more I looked at him, the more I was overwhelmed by an unbearable feeling. I realized poignantly that such a strong longing and desire existed within me. I wanted to see how soft the skin before me was. I wanted to taste every inch of him with my tongue. Ethan led me to the bed as I greedily swallowed my saliva.

I was laid down submissively and looked up at him. Slipping his arms out of his half-off shirt, he collapsed over me. Revealing his beautiful physique, Ethan murmured softly.

“This is trouble. A person like you…”

He clearly referred to me, but it sounded like he was talking to himself. So, I responded only in my head.

Am I getting you into trouble? That feels, mmm, pretty good. It’s thrilling. I think it would be fine if you got into even more trouble. I want your face to turn red because of me. I hope you get so hot you can’t handle it. And I want your heart to go thump-thump, beating like crazy. Just like mine is doing right now.

When I tried to touch his chest to check his heartbeat, Ethan stopped me. Even though there wasn’t much strength in the hand grasping my wrist, it felt adamant.

“Slow down.”

“I think you’re the one who can’t do that.”

Reaching out again to touch his chest, my eyes moved to his face. I studied his pretty features and stopped at his lips. The plump flesh, wet and moist because I had been biting and sucking on them. A red color like luscious fruit pulp. I followed the small, twitching movements while soaking in the sound with my ears.

“Somerset. Are you being swept away by me?”

Ethan asked. His attitude was cautious. Though he showed no sign of backing away, making that caution feel quite hollow.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Are you just moving however your body leads you, and am I the one swaying you?”

His tone was also refined. Only the emerald light in his eyes wavered distinctly.

“If so, think carefully about whether you’ll accept me. If you think you’ll regret it later…”

“I won’t. Not that.”

Neither thought nor regret was necessary. Moving as my body led me was the most honest reaction. It was pure desire, without any impurities.

To think Ethan didn’t know a simple formula that even I knew. What a dummy.

I want you, and you want me; that’s all that matters. What else needs to be there?

“Did you forget why you’re here? Why you came to see me so early this morning?”

I shook off Ethan’s hand as his grip loosened and brought my hand to his chest. Pressing down on his cute nipple with my palm, I focused on the vibration behind the soft skin. Annoyingly, it was quite calm compared to mine.

“You know the answer. Say it. Hmm? Don’t act like you don’t know.”

Unable to resist my prodding, Ethan spoke.

“Because you kissed me.”

“Yeah. Exactly.”

I had kissed Ethan’s forehead, and he had come to interrogate me before the effect of that kiss wore off.

“Who was the one who ran away yesterday?”

“Me.”

“Today’s you seems like a different person.”

“Maybe.”

That’s because the “me” from yesterday ran away from you, but the “me” today regrets not grabbing your hand and running from Central Park all the way home. If we had kissed passionately while panting for breath, I might have felt that desperate feeling—like we were the only two people left in the world. I’m secretly hoping for that.

“How long are we going to just chat?”

I didn’t say it to provoke Ethan. I asked because I was truly curious, and I wanted an answer.

“All day, if you want.”

“Just moving our mouths like this all day? I… want to use my mouth for something else.”

Not for talking, I want to suck you. I want to enjoy the feeling of consuming you. An unfamiliar desire I’d never experienced with anyone else swirled inside me. I didn’t hide that longing, and Ethan willingly complied.

Without needing to know who started it, we lunged at each other and greedily sought each other’s breath. We pressed together as if our lips had suction cups and rubbed against each other wildly. Even though we kissed so roughly I worried our tongues might wear out, Ethan’s touch was extremely gentle. He brushed back my messy hair and softly stroked my face.

“Open up. Yeah, breathe like that.”

“Ha, haaa.”

“You’re doing well.”

“What about you?”

“I am, of course, haaa, doing well too.”

Unlike me, who was panting, Ethan looked quite composed. It was annoying, but it wasn’t a reason to push him away. Instead, I clung to him as we rolled around on the bed. Reversing our positions to take the top, I looked down and kneaded Ethan’s chest.

“Your heart… I think it’s going to explode.”

It was as if his previous composure had been a lie. I could clearly feel his heart thumping at a terrifying rate. Frowning slightly as if embarrassed, he stroked my waist and said:

“If it explodes, report it. To 911.”

“I’ll carry you to the ER myself.”

Though my heart would probably explode too, leaving us both in the back of an ambulance.

I leaned down and overtook Ethan. I remember the temperature of his embrace as he held me as if he’d been waiting. I remember the words he whispered in my ear while stroking the nape of my neck.

“Yesterday’s kiss… it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t an accident, either. I wanted it too.”

After that day, Ethan was faithful to my invitations. However, he never once asked me if he could come see me first.

Still, I didn’t think our relationship was one-sided. Because he was kind to me. He held my hand when we watched movies together, he occasionally looked at me lovingly and then flinched, and one night, he stayed on the phone with me for over two hours because I was up late.

Ethan had wanted my kiss—he had wanted me. That was a fact that wouldn’t change, even if he suddenly left and tried to fade the past. It remained the same even now, as I masturbated while being conscious of the bug just to spite him.

“What’s the point now? It’s meaningless.”

Bracing my wavering heart, I roughly wiped the wetness with my shirt. I put my clothes back on in that sticky state, stood up, and stood dazed for a moment. I felt tired for some reason.

∞ ∞ ∞

The weather was incredibly good. The spotless, clear blue sky seemed to massage the shoulders of the young artists who had started their day diligently and early, taking in the scenery of Chelsea.