MERRY 21

His stubborn reaction actually piqued my interest even more. I leaned out the window as if I were about to tumble out and beckoned the man over.

‘I won’t act weird. I promise. Is that book good?’

‘That question feels like another tactic just to talk to me.’

‘It’s both. A tactic, but also genuine curiosity. How is the book?’

To be honest, the former carried more weight. It had been quite a while since I’d last picked up a book, so I wasn’t exactly in a position to be interested in literature.

‘It’s alright.’

‘What’s the title?’

After a moment of hesitation, the man stepped closer and held the book out for me to see. On the cover was a dull-looking title: <Humanity>.

‘Why read a book like that? To become more human? To find out what humanity is?’

I had a bit of a rude streak back then. I was the obnoxious type who thought it looked cool to roll up my sleeves over my shoulders like a tank top just to flex my arm muscles. When I swept back my wavy bangs, I was overly conscious of his gaze. I was brimming with confidence.

‘Because it’s not a bestseller. I found it tucked away in a corner of the bookstore.’

‘Hmm. That’s a good reason. It’s a nice thing to show interest in things that are overlooked.’

I spoke those slick words while resting my elbow on the windowsill and propping my face in one hand. I was fully aware that I looked incredibly charming and handsome in that pose.

‘You must do “nice things” often, then.’

‘No. Not really.’

‘That’s surprising. Then why are you showing interest in me?’

The man seemed genuinely baffled. I found him hilarious.

‘Are you saying you’re someone who’s overlooked? You can’t be overlooked the moment you catch someone’s eye.’

As I said before, he had the kind of look that made people want to talk to him. He was the type you’d want to stop on the street just to say hi or poke fun at.

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

‘If you don’t know, look in a mirror. And if you still don’t know, look at me.’

‘Does looking at you give me the answer?’

‘No. I just said it because I wanted you to look at me.’

The man looked at me in disbelief and looked away. Feeling a bit disappointed, I whistled to catch his attention again.

‘I’m not trying to make fun of you. Your eyes are pretty—your pupils are so beautiful that it makes me feel good just to meet your gaze.’

When I expanded on the truth hidden behind the word “just,” he blinked his eyes wide.

‘To a total stranger, right to their face, saying things like that…’

Seeing him look quite embarrassed, I made a promise.

‘I’ll hold back.’

‘From what?’

‘Saying whatever comes to mind. I made your heart flutter, didn’t I?’

To defend my past self, who was so overconfident his ego pierced the sky: the truth was, I was popular enough for it to be a headache. There were more than a few people who misinterpreted my casual behavior and started dreaming of a romance all on their own. I would have been an idiot not to know that my looks appealed to everyone, regardless of gender. I was hot, and I knew it all too well.

The man, who had been staring at my bold display, suddenly lifted his paper cup to cover his mouth. It didn’t even cross my mind that he might be hiding a leak of laughter out of politeness; instead, I took it as him hiding a blushing face.

‘This kind of thing happens often, unintentionally.’

A brief silence followed. It was a regrettable moment for both of us, though for different reasons. I felt sorry for him, while he likely thought I was ridiculous. The barrier of silence between us was lifted by the sound of “Yap! Yap!” barking.

Turning my head at the familiar sound, I saw those puppies from earlier. The energetic little things and their visibly exhausted owner ran past in the opposite direction. Their perfectly timed entrance and exit felt like a commercial break during a sports broadcast. With that, our stalled conversation resumed.

‘You don’t have to worry about saying whatever comes to mind.’

The man spoke as he lowered the paper cup from his mouth.

‘Really? Is that okay?’

‘It would be a problem if you didn’t. Especially if you’re under the misunderstanding that my heart fluttered.’

Realizing my delusion through his firm tone, I burst out laughing. Shame crept in at my stupid mistake, and a heat unrelated to the early summer temperature rushed to my face.

‘Oh boy. I was pretty pathetic, wasn’t I?’

‘Probably.’

‘Tell me I wasn’t.’

‘There’s a 1% chance you weren’t.’

The man shrugged, citing those slim odds. I barely managed to stop laughing and pleaded with him.

‘Bump it up to 2%. Then my face won’t be as red. If I stay like this, I might actually explode.’

In truth, I was regaining my composure even without his help. As if he saw right through me, he didn’t grant my request, which I found funny for some reason, so I started giggling again.

The more we talked, the more I felt I’d made the right choice by forcing myself into his line of sight. It was worth waiting anxiously for him to return while breathing in the hot outdoor air. I also turned my attention to the paper cup in his hand.

‘What are you drinking? What’s your go-to?’

‘Coffee.’

Instead of explaining, the man held out the cup. I slightly opened the lid and took a sniff. Even back then, he drank it strong and black.

‘The scent is nice, but it seems to have gone cold.’

‘Because someone kept talking to me.’

‘That someone must have been very charming. You couldn’t ignore them even as your coffee got cold.’

‘I don’t know. Not enough to make my heart flutter, anyway.’

I scrunched my nose and winked at him. I offered a look that had a track record of making countless people swoon.

‘Want me to recommend some better coffee? Since you just moved in, you probably don’t know the area yet.’

‘I won’t say no. Which cafe?’

‘Not a cafe, but right here. Next door to you—my place. Want to come in?’

At home, we had coffee brewed from beans that suited my mother’s sophisticated palate. I suggested it to him with the intention of serving him some, but he didn’t agree readily.

‘I read a novel recently. In it, when a handsome man like you seduces someone, nine times out of ten, a murder occurs. They lure them into a house or a secluded spot and kill them.’

If it was a joke, it wasn’t funny; if it was serious, it was rude. But I laughed. Even after hearing something so unpleasant, I felt refreshed. I’d been laughing far too easily for a while now.

‘I guess I look pretty “fatal” to you too, then. Characters like that are usually described that way.’

Showing off my side as a former bookworm, I playfully snatched the paper cup from the man’s hand.

The man tilted his head at my mischievous prank. His flowing blonde hair made the small movement look dramatic. In the moderately hot weather, beads of sweat had formed on his porcelain forehead. He swept his hair back and blinked his eyes slowly.

If we were picking out murderers based on “fatal charm,” he was just as suspicious. Completely captivated by him, I felt that he was teasing me much more intensely than my little prank was teasing him. I intended to smell the coffee for a moment and give it back, but I didn’t think he would easily return the interest he had taken from me.

If he had intended it, I would have held him responsible, but I could only feel regret that I couldn’t. He unknowingly plundered my attention and said:

‘Could I have that back?’

We spoke the same language and his accent wasn’t particularly distinct, yet his words stood out strangely in my ears. Conversely, thinking that I wanted my voice to reach him just as clearly, I put a little strength into my throat.

‘Are you really going to reject my invitation? It’s good for neighbors to get along.’

‘Good for whom?’

‘Me, of course!’

The man ultimately rejected my invitation. As he took his coffee back and prepared to leave, I asked him.

‘What’s your name? I’m Somerset Quinn.’

He pulled the thick book to his chest and answered.

‘Alex Howard.’

‘Alex Howard.’

I smiled, pronouncing the name he gave me clearly. Not knowing that it was the name of the author who wrote <Humanity>. I had been completely fooled by a liar.

‘Goodbye, Alex. See you again.’

Having stepped back, he took a sip of his coffee.

‘Sure, kid.’

‘What? Kid? Where do you see a kid!’

‘Your innocence.’

I flared up at being suddenly treated like an innocent kid. When I frowned, he responded with a subtle smile. For a moment, I thought the vitality radiating from him suited the title of the book perfectly.

Humanity.