MERRY 28

Ethan pressured me to kill the engine at a moment when I felt I should have been bolting out of there. Once the engine noise died down, he turned his body and leaned toward me. He was relentless, as if devouring the space between us. He conquered my field of vision, yet that wasn’t enough—he came closer and closer. He got so close that the bloodstains on his lips looked magnified.

Anticipating the event about to unfold, the accident I was bound to endure, I licked and moistened my lower lip with my tongue. However, what overtook me wasn’t soft lips, but a voice flowing from between them.

“Is this what you mean by paying someone back for what they did?”

He reminded me of the moment I had almost touched him. A dizzying mistake had returned, wearing the fearsome guise of Ethan Reed. It was as sharp as a knife and as heavy as a hammer. I barely fended off the attack with the shield of my pride.

“You’re wrong. You didn’t pay me back exactly for what I did. It was more than that. At least I gave you a warning. I clearly told you to push me away, even if I used a cowardly method. Unlike you, who threatened me while I was unarmed.”

I fired back rapidly and reclined the car seat to avoid contact with Ethan. Though I questioned whether he actually intended to touch me. I looked up at him with my hands folded demurely over my chest.

Ethan was looking down at me with his usual expressionless face. Shadows cast by his high bridge overlapped diagonally in the hollows between his brows and eyelashes, yet his eyes easily repelled the darkness and shone with a distinct light.

He was attractive. He was beautiful. Had there ever been a moment in his life when he wasn’t beautiful? Even when he let out his first cry as a newborn, teardrops must have hung like transparent dew on those long eyelashes.

Ethan pointed it out, perhaps because my dazed state of admiration showed on my face.

“It’s not good to show an opening to someone trying to mess with you. Please, develop some vigilance.”

He extended his index finger and poked the back of my hand. It was as if he were warning me that merely resting my hands on my chest wouldn’t stop him. Not to be outdone, I let out a snort.

“You’re overstepping. You don’t even have any intention of messing with me.”

Threatening me with a face that looked like he’d never even glanced at the option of car sex in his entire life wasn’t scary at all.

“Anyone can have thoughts.”

“You’re the exception. I’m not falling for that, so take your hand off me.”

He traced the bones and veins protruding on the back of my hand in a tickling motion. He was surely just testing me; there was no sincerity in it.

“So you’re saying you’re ‘armed’ now?”

“Yeah.”

I tensed my hand so I wouldn’t flinch.

“Somerset.”

“If you have something to say, just say it. It’s just you and me here, so there’s no need to call my name.”

“I need to get your attention before I protest.”

Ethan called my name once more, “Somerset,” and continued.

“Isn’t it more cowardly to describe just mouthing words as ‘clearly saying it’ than it is to just mouth the words in the first place?”

I felt a sting at his sharp observation. I thought it was cowardly, too.

“I won’t deny it. I’m not a person who doesn’t know shame.”

“Then you won’t deny this either.”

“What else is left?”

“You didn’t tell me to push you away. You said I could.”

I almost clapped my hands. I would have, if Ethan’s finger weren’t still touching my hand. A round of applause for the man who turned Somerset Quinn into a person without shame.

I wriggled my feet, which were out of Ethan’s sight, and asked.

“Did you understand me?”

“By chance.”

It was quite a significant chance. In the end, I suppressed my temper and offered a compromise.

“Let’s act like it never happened. Both the accident I almost caused you, and the chase you don’t want to explain. Let’s just each carry one.”

In addition, my desire for revenge against the guys who hurt Ethan evaporated helplessly without a single proper resistance. Because the foundation for it was weak. I wasn’t confident I could make him understand why I was stepping up to pay them back on his behalf. It was such an emotional and private area.

Mentioning old times felt pathetic, and the current relationship between Ethan and me was just the worst—a stalker and his victim. In other words, the only thing I could claim was some paltry hero complex. At best, the answer would just be that I couldn’t stand injustice.

I bit my lip as I tucked away my dampened momentum. The excitement that had flared up subsided. Having calmed down, I asked Ethan to move. Ethan, who readily withdrew his hand, returned to his seat, and I raised my seat back up.

“I’m starting the car.”

When I didn’t grab the wheel after giving him the heads-up, he looked at me. I met his puzzled eyes.

“Nothing’s broken—not the car, and not me. It’s just that the fact that I’m giving you a ride suddenly feels awkward. Just until you showed up with that wound on your lip, I had made up my mind to never exchange words with you for a while. Ever since that day, after our argument, it’s been that way.”

The man I intended to avoid was right beside me. I could have taken his advice to develop vigilance and made him get out of the car right now, but I only thought about it and couldn’t put it into action.

“I really don’t know anymore. I don’t know you, and I don’t know how I feel. Damn it.”

I let out a sigh, roughly ruffling my hair. I wondered if I’d feel better if I just shut up and focused on driving, so I was about to start the ignition when I heard an unusual sound from beside me.

“Ouch.”

Startled, I turned my head to see Ethan frowning. He thrust his lower lip out slightly, making the wound more visible.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt a lot?”

“A little.”

“It’s probably because you kept talking. Quiet down. Shutting your mouth is your specialty anyway. Though I’m the one who makes it so you can’t. I won’t make you talk anymore.”

My mind went blank, and eventually, the events of that day were pushed aside again. I decided that if it came down to it, I’d take him to the ER even if he objected. Because I was watching the wound, my gaze was fixed on Ethan’s lips. My eyes blinked in sync with the slight movements of his mouth.

“Was it an unreasonable request to ask you to stay home quietly?” he asked.

“When you’re done with your business, just go home quietly.”

The words he said to me that day overlapped with his current ones. It was good that he showed a will to solve the problem, but he missed the mark. The part that had bothered me to no end was the line: “I’ve given you the words you wanted, so do one thing for me too.”

“It is an unreasonable request. Interference from a stalker? That’s out of the question. But I’ll let it slide this time. Because I was annoyed that you didn’t consider my feelings. I can’t believe the things you said to me while bringing up Liam were made up. I was really disappointed that you revealed that so thoughtlessly.”

After confessing honestly, even if my mouth felt bitter, my heart felt a little lighter. Ethan’s rare look of fluster made me feel better, too.

He scratched his eyebrow and muttered.

“That was unexpected.”

It seemed he had completely misread the situation. I kindly guided him down a different path.

“I was thrilled when you said you were uncomfortable—thrilled to the point of it being electric. But when you said it wasn’t true, I got angry. It’s partly because I’m emotional, but you won’t deny that you deliberately confused me.”

“Did I say it wasn’t true?”

“You said you gave me the words I wanted. That means you made it up to suit my fancy.”

The words I wanted to hear were nothing more than a stepping stone for his trivial advice. Damn it. I had fallen right for it and been twisted around his finger.

“Somerset.”

“I’m paying attention to you, so no need to call my name.”

I was looking solely at Ethan. The car was still parked slightly crookedly on some street in Manhattan, the sun hadn’t set, and there was no car chasing us. Ethan was the only thing stimulating me. As his composure wavered, I felt an internal agitation. I couldn’t deny that my heart was pounding.

Ethan lowered his glasses slightly and massaged the bridge of his nose where the pads had left marks. He had an excellent ability to pause before speaking. After calmly fixing his glasses, he looked intently through the lenses and said:

“I did think it was the reaction you wanted. But I didn’t make the words up; I chose them from among my thoughts.”