FETCH 71

Clenching and unclenching his fists, he was suddenly reminded of the moment he first manifested. In the midst of losing consciousness due to the swirling waves of energy, he had felt something like a guiding wavelength from Jaechan, who was holding him tightly.

“…Maybe he had already manifested back then.”

Perhaps it wasn’t a full manifestation, but the signs might have been there.

Then, has he been taking medicine since then? His forehead creased again in pain, and he didn’t even think to smooth out his expression.

Because Jeon Jaechan was not a Guide, Han Kang had cherished him infinitely, thinking of him as an even more special existence. But had he already been craving a Guide’s wavelength from him as an Esper since that time? Was that perhaps the reason why he couldn’t bring himself to assault Jaechan until the very end?

However, there was no turning back now. He could no longer return to the time when he hadn’t taken Jaechan. His goal remained the same.

To keep Jeon Jaechan only by his side.

His guiding had to be directed solely toward him, and other Espers must not enjoy that privilege.

He felt a craving for a cigarette, even though he didn’t smoke. When his hyungs were this distressed, they would puff away on cigarettes; he wished he had at least learned how.

Whew. Exhaling another long sigh, Han Kang continued to stare intently at Jaechan.

“Med—medicine? What do you mean by that… I mean…”

“Let’s really not deceive each other anymore, Jaechan. I think I’ll be disappointed in myself, not you. I’d appreciate it if you spoke honestly.”

Han Kang’s eyes were saying not to lie anymore. He had already come here knowing everything, and if Jeon Jaechan lied to him again, he really didn’t know what he would do in a fit of madness.

He was his Guide. They had to match their compatibility, resolve things that occurred together, and prepare for what was to come in the future together.

More than that, he was his best friend. They had no secrets, they knew each other’s innermost circumstances; they were no different from each other’s alter egos.

Setting everything else aside, it was Jeon Jaechan. No matter who else was brought in, they couldn’t be replaced; to him, there was only one Jeon Jaechan.

So he truly hoped he would tell the truth. He wished that if there were difficult things, he would open up and trust and lean on him instead.

“Jeon Jaechan. Hurry.”

As he pressed him again, Jaechan lowered his head deeply.

“…”

He had tried to deflect with other words somehow, but he couldn’t hold out any longer in front of Han Kang acting that way. Jaechan cast his eyes down, avoiding Han Kang’s gaze.

It was hard to confess easily. It had been nearly seven long years. The time he had spent deceiving Han Kang. He hadn’t even mentioned the first letter of “medicine,” he had acted as if the Center was a strange place every time they went, and he hadn’t informed him of the fact even after manifesting.

Despite knowing that the unpleasant incidents occurring between them recently might be because of him, he had kept his mouth shut, and he didn’t know how many lies he had told here and there while avoiding Han Kang’s eyes to take the medicine.

So how could he just blurt it out easily?

As Jaechan gnawed on his lips, heavy sighs erupted one after another from the other side. As if waiting, as if he wouldn’t move until he told the truth himself, Han Kang stood blocking the doorway with a firmly hardened expression.

Over his shoulder, he saw Choi Seokyoung mouthing “Sorry” in apology. Looking at his expression, it seemed Choi Seokyoung had also been in an unavoidable situation.

Perhaps it was for the best.

Should he be grateful that a chance to reveal it was given before it was too late, before the worst moment arrived?

Jaechan’s lips parted slightly, and he finally answered with a “Yes.”

“…I manifested after taking medicine. Sorry for hiding it.”

He couldn’t bring himself to say it was because he wanted to stay by his side. Ah, a long groan erupted right in front of him. Jaechan just kept his eyes fixed on the floor, fidgeting with his fingertips.

“Why didn’t you tell me…”

His voice was laced with sorrow as if he were upset instead; when Jaechan finally managed to lift his head, sorrow was layered over the face that had been distorted with anger.

“I thought you would hate it.”

“Why did you take it knowing I would hate it?”

“…Because I wanted to be with you.”

Jaechan answered hesitantly. There was no proper excuse that came to mind. No matter how much he racked his brain, it would only arouse suspicion, so he thought it would be better to just speak honestly.

Everything’s been caught anyway, so what’s the point of hiding it now?

He spoke candidly as if letting everything go, but Han Kang said nothing in return.

Jaechan peeked up at him. The gaze cast low looked somewhat complicated.

Choi Seokyoung, who had been gauging the atmosphere behind Han Kang’s back, tapped him. Looking at Jaechan, who had bowed his head like a great sinner, he whispered something in Han Kang’s ear so quietly that Jaechan couldn’t hear.

“There’s more to say besides that. See me later.”

After finishing his short remark, Choi Seokyoung disappeared, and Han Kang looked at Jaechan again.

The slightly upturned corners of his mouth looked bitter. He also looked hollow, as if he had tried to hide it as much as he possibly could.

“I should have just told you sooner. If I knew it would be found out like this anyway.”

He didn’t give any answer to the following words. What answer could he give to words so steeped in futility?

As Han Kang contemplated for a moment, Jaechan asked again.

“How did you find out?”

Jaechan felt like whatever happens, happens now. Even if Han Kang got angry at him, he couldn’t say a word. On the other hand, he felt regret that he should have told him sooner.

He wondered why he had hidden it so tightly, and a hollow laugh escaped him as it felt like the guilt he had felt from creating unnecessary secrets from Han Kang had all been in vain.

“I’m sorry for deceiving you.”

“Earlier, I thought I was going to go crazy with rage.”

At the response that was different from his thoughts, Jaechan looked at Han Kang. Han Kang, who had been so angry he didn’t know what to do just a moment ago, looked much calmer now. When he gave a short “Yes,” Han Kang said with a sigh.

“…You say it was because you wanted to be with me, so what can I say? How can I ever win against you?”

Jaechan just nodded his head silently, his lips pressed tight.

His heart grew complicated. As Jaechan fell into a quiet silence with a lowered gaze, only then did Han Kang walk into the room with heavy steps. From where he sat, Jaechan just felt Han Kang approaching.

The seat beside him sank heavily. Han Kang, whose ragged breathing seemed to have settled into a gentle rhythm, still exhaled a large sigh every now and then.

“But from now on, I want you to be honest with me.”

“Okay.”

“The reason I was angry, Jaechan.”

“Yeah.”

At Han Kang’s softly coaxing words, Jaechan answered every single time. Just a while ago, he felt nothing but emptiness and futility, but now he felt a bit relieved.

It would be a lie to say he hadn’t suffered mentally all this time, so he also thought he should have opened up sooner if he had known he would be this understanding.

As the tension eased, a sigh came out. When he let out a light breath, Han Kang gently grasped his hand. When he let his hand be held, he massaged it softly with some strength.

Then, he continued the words he had briefly paused.

“I just thought… maybe I wasn’t trustworthy enough for you to not even be able to speak honestly about this.”

“…”

“It feels pathetic that I was right next to you and didn’t know, and I took pride in knowing everything about you, but when I realized that, consequently, I knew the least out of everyone at the Center, I thought I’d lose my mind. So… don’t make secrets from me.”

“Okay… I’m sorry.”

He wished he could say he was sorry in various languages. Since he kept saying the same thing, it felt like his sincerity was diminishing.

But his apology toward Han Kang was genuine.

Making eye contact with Han Kang, who was quietly looking down at him from the next seat, Jaechan let out a deep sigh and hugged him tightly. Hoping that his sincerity would be conveyed.

And did his sincerity get through? Han Kang laughed low and rubbed around his eyes.

“Really, don’t make secrets. I hate that the most. You know that, right?”

“I know. But, I really didn’t mean to do it on purpose…”

No, it was on purpose. He kept it a secret only from Han Kang because he was afraid he wouldn’t let him take the medicine or manifest as a Guide.

Jaechan, who was about to attach a clumsy excuse, shut his mouth tight again. Han Kang nodded his head with a “Yeah.”

“Let’s just not dwell on the past and only think about the future.”

As if that one sentence settled everything, as if there was no need to look into anything else, Han Kang smiled very reliably.

Seeing Jaechan’s body suddenly relax, Han Kang hugged him tightly on purpose. Feeling the now-familiar guiding, he buried his forehead in that shoulder and his sharp eyes gleamed.

All this time, he hadn’t liked how Jaechan was constantly walking on eggshells around others instead of him, which was unlike him. He also knew that he was obsessed with being recognized as a Guide. Even though he couldn’t understand it, he had just gone along with it because it was what Jaechan wanted…

“From now on, let’s solve it together.”

First of all, taking the medicine was absolutely unacceptable. Seeing as it was called a new drug or whatever, they were clearly treating Jaechan like a lab rat.

“How dare they…”

He would make Jeon Jaechan stop the medicine of his own volition.

And he would help him realize his abilities on his own.

No matter what anyone said, there was no Guide for Han Kang other than Jeon Jaechan.

.✦ ݁˖

[Choi Seokyoung: Training Room 3]

“He went far.”

Late at night, Han Kang, who woke up feeling the vibration of an incoming message, murmured to himself and put down his phone. Beside him, Jaechan, whom he had finally calmed down, was sleeping soundly. After gently brushing back the hair of the sleeping Jaechan, Han Kang forced his feet to move, though they were reluctant to leave.

Training Room 3, located in the deepest part of the Center, was a room with excellent soundproofing and was used more often for interviews between the team leader and team members than for training.

In the training room he arrived at, Choi Seokyoung was sitting still. As soon as their eyes met, Choi Seokyoung immediately threw something at him. It was some kind of medicine bottle—light, round, and white.

Han Kang knew what it was the moment he saw it. When he clicked the lid open, he saw a few rolling pills.

“That’s the medicine Jaechan takes.”

“How do you have this?”

“Call me hyung, seriously. I brought it from the office; it’s always on Jaechan’s desk.”

“So, what about this medicine?”

“Jeon Jaechan thinks that’s manifestation medicine.”

…Could it be that there’s more of a secret to this medicine?

It was at that moment when Han Kang frowned at Choi Seokyoung’s somewhat meaningful words.

“That is actually an ability suppressant.”