FETCH 46

When Jaechan regained consciousness again, Han Kang was sitting between his legs, wiping his entire body down. Unlike his indiscriminate pushing earlier that morning, Han Kang was now tidying things up with a stoic face, as if he had finally come to his senses; seeing this, Jaechan let out a long sigh, “Haaa.”

While his entire body felt painfully crushed, the wet towel wiping him down felt refreshing, so he lacked the strength to say anything. Jaechan glanced down at him briefly before closing his eyes again.

“Are you awake?”

As soon as he heard Han Kang’s words, Jaechan replied with a short “Uh” and opened his eyes once more.

Then, from a corner of his hazy memories, Han Kang’s voice echoed back to him.

‘I regret it, Jaechan.’

While he couldn’t recall what was said before or after that, the sound of his voice—heavy and soaked with emotion—poked at his chest.

What do you regret?

After saying he would remember and never forget that he was the one who rushed in first, hearing him talk about regret now didn’t exactly sound like a good thing.

He considered asking but decided against it. Jaechan frowned, feeling a lingering unease despite having performed a perfectly flawless guiding.

‘I don’t say things I don’t mean.’

But why on earth did those words have to come to mind right now?

Jaechan forced himself to soothe his wounded feelings and gave Han Kang’s arm a few light taps. Han Kang looked up at him, saying “Hmm?” Unlike his voice, which had reached him so coldly in his memory, his face was now as clear as could be.

Perhaps the guiding had worked properly, as his complexion looked quite good, which was a relief. Right, this is enough. Jaechan, comforting himself with the thought that he shouldn’t take too many things to heart, looked at Han Kang and asked.

“Is your body feeling okay?”

“Of course. After all that guiding we did.”

“Did you hate it?”

He asked because the nuance of the response didn’t seem entirely pleasant.

“All done,” Han Kang said as he stood up, acting as if he had no intention of answering; at this, Jaechan shut his mouth tight.

If it were his usual personality, he might have asked by now. However, since this was a subject where he couldn’t feel entirely confident, he kept swallowing his words. Moreover, he judged that poking the situation might only cause unnecessary trouble.

Jaechan decided to think whatever suited him for now. He concluded that even if Han Kang rushed at him because he liked it, he probably still found it difficult to accept him as a guide. Actually, wasn’t it a massive improvement just based on the fact that he rushed at him out of desire?

Regardless, the final result was a good one. He had rushed at him while drunk, showed his desire, and craved him. That meant that even if he rejects guiding right now, there is a possibility for the future.

Jaechan decided to stake everything on the hope that one day he would accept him fully. Recalling Han Kang’s burning gaze, Jaechan tightened his lips and suppressed a smile. Feelings of affection were truly ironic. Just a moment ago his heart was aching and he was short of words, but now his heart was fluttering so much his body felt like it was twisting.

Just because he liked the fact that Han Kang lusted after him.

Right, there is no need to try and recall bad feelings. Since they were words without context anyway, it was the perfect setup for a misunderstanding.

Once he cleared away the words “I regret it” that were filling his head, the rapture that had continued from last night until this morning blossomed once more. Even if they borrowed the power of alcohol, they had joined bodies in a situation where guiding wasn’t strictly necessary.

And Han Kang was the one who did it first, directly.

Jaechan let out a “Heh” and smiled, looking straight ahead. Han Kang, having finished all the tidying up, was sitting comfortably leaned back on the sofa. With his legs stretched out on the table, he looked very relaxed.

“You have to go to the Center.”

Jaechan asked as he sat up. Han Kang, who had already moved away from the bed, was still naked. As Jaechan stared at his body with its interlaced solid muscles, Han Kang frowned deeply, seemingly unbothered by being completely exposed.

“Ah.”

“Go wash up. I’ll make you breakfast.”

When he spoke soothingly, Han Kang stood up with a sluggish gait. He thought he was completely naked, but it seemed he had taken some underwear out of the closet and put it on. Instead of the underwear that must have become a mess, new underwear covered his lower body.

Come to think of it, the house was clean too. Not only were the sheets fresh, but not a single piece of his clothes that he must have thrown off haphazardly yesterday was in sight. As he rolled his eyes searching for them, Han Kang gave a smirk.

“I just started the washing machine. You be the one to put them in the dryer, honey.”

“Your clothes too?”

“Yeah.”

Han Kang, who nodded firmly, suddenly planted a “mwah” kiss on him before he could even fully stand up. It wasn’t the first time he had pressed his lips against him, but the feeling of his lips touching and then pulling away felt very new.

Jaechan hurriedly covered his lips with the back of his hand to hide his face, which was flushing hot. The spot where his lips had touched and left felt as hot as if it had been branded with a hot iron. Fearing his reddened face might be discovered, he even lowered his head.

At that, Han Kang added with a smirk.

“Waking up in the same bed, showering, and eating breakfast together makes us seem very much like a married couple. Right.”

“…Stop talking nonsense.”

“You know you like it.”

Does he know something while saying that?

Saying he wouldn’t guide with me, calling me a slut. One moment he’s drawing lines about whether he regrets it or not, and now he’s not just erasing them but approaching me in huge strides; it was to the point that Han Kang felt like a stranger.

His attitude toward me has never changed unless we were guiding, but because of the series of bewildering events since yesterday, it was indeed strange. Since he couldn’t know the context of the low-muttered words, he decided to ignore them for now.

Jaechan scratched his cheek awkwardly as he watched Han Kang close the door tightly and enter the bathroom. Anyway, holding hands, hugging, kissing, and joining bodies with him was the same as before he manifested as a guide. It’s just that, after manifesting, they had seen the end of skinship.

Then does he just not have any particular thoughts about it?

His head became slightly complicated for a moment, but at the “beep-beep-beep—” ringing of his watch, Jaechan hurriedly checked the message. It was a signal that his assigned Esper had not come to work and to send him back to the Center immediately.

Jaechan rummaged through the fridge to see if there was anything to eat. Fortunately, there were some eggs left. Thinking he should just make some soy sauce egg rice and feed him before sending him off, he closed the door.

While the rice was heating in the microwave, he picked out a T-shirt and pants for Han Kang to wear and placed them in front of the bathroom door. When he knocked, he heard a “Yeah” in response.

That wasn’t a communication meaning he would enter or that it was okay to come in; it was a signal that the clothes were in front of the door so he should get dressed, and the response to that. Since it was their own language established over a long time, no separate explanation was needed.

While he put out the side dishes and set the silverware, Han Kang finished his shower and came outside. Han Kang, who inhaled the scent with an “Mmm” as if it smelled appetizing, asked with a bright smile.

“Soy sauce egg rice?”

“Yeah, there’s plenty. Eat a lot and take your time.”

“Oh yeah.”

Han Kang, who shrugged his shoulders happily like a child, sat down at the dining table immediately. Whether he liked the soy sauce egg rice that was whipped up, Han Kang emptied three bowls of rice right then and there. It was a good thing he had prepared plenty in advance; otherwise, it would have been quite a problem.

Seeing Han Kang eat well made him feel proud, so Jaechan also emptied three bowls along with him. And while watching Han Kang brush his teeth, Jaechan began to leisurely brew and drink hot coffee. When he stretched his legs out in front and flicked his toes, Han Kang let out a disbelieving huff, “He-uh.”

“Living the high life, are we?”

“Hurry up and go, your watch keeps ringing.”

“Then do I not get to see you at all today?”

“If you’re desperate for guiding, you can call me.”

Jaechan giggled mischievously and waved his mug toward Han Kang. He had made the joke just to see his usual crumpled scowl, but to his surprise, Han Kang simply shrugged his shoulders and smiled without saying much.

He even headed toward the entrance with steady thuds without any particular scolding. While putting on his shoes, while taking and putting on his watch, and even while leaving a short “I’m coming” to the phone call looking for him, there was no talk of “I told you I hate guiding.”

He wondered if the world was coming to an end.

Well, anyway, it’s a good sign…

Jaechan hid his bewilderment and stood at the entrance to see him off.

“Can I call you after work later?”

Han Kang asked with a beaming smile.

“As if you haven’t been doing that already.”

When he replied as if scolding him, he giggled mischievously this time.

Then, “mwah.” Han Kang’s lips lightly touched the bridge of his nose. Jaechan’s eyes, which were already large, flew wide open.

He just kissed me again, didn’t he?

Jaechan was at the point of worrying if something had happened overnight due to Han Kang’s behavior of repeatedly kissing him since earlier. No matter how much he might have changed his mind, can a person really change as easily as flipping a palm?

Because his affectionate appearance today was so unfamiliar, he blinked his eyes repeatedly; then Han Kang spoke as if answering Jaechan’s earlier remark of ‘If you’re desperate for guiding, you can call me.’

“Let’s call it guiding.”

Somehow, the line that existed between Han Kang and himself felt like it was crumbling completely. Even the sight of Han Kang leaving abruptly after leaving such confusion behind was so perfect it felt like a dream.