FETCH 38

No, what did he mean by being uncooperative again?

Jaechan felt a surge of resentment welling up in his chest at Kim Daeyoung’s coercive attitude. He had tried to overlook them treating him like an experimental subject and insulting his character by applying terms like “specimen” that should never be used for a person.

Even if it felt bad, it was technically true, and from their perspective, he supposed they could act that way.

However, isn’t it human nature to feel a surge of irritation when someone suddenly denounces you as uncooperative?

Jaechan felt his temperament, which tended to push back the harder it was squeezed, and he took a long breath to suppress the indignation within him. Nothing good would come from clashing here.

At the very least, he was the absolute underdog. A total “Super Underdog.” He could just refuse the money the Center gave him, but he wanted to stay at the Center.

That desire had only grown stronger after living at the Center. Now that they had shared their bodies and confirmed that the guiding worked properly, the thought of Han Kang flirting with other guys instead of him made his head spin with dizziness.

Jaechan suppressed his rising anger. Imagining himself dragging a fire hose to douse the flames with cold water, he replied, “Yes, I understand.”

The Center Director, who normally would have ended the conversation with a simple “I see,” did not uncross his legs. Resting his joined hands on his knees, he leaned his body all the way back and threw a cold gaze toward him.

It was just when Jaechan thought he should prepare to let the words go in one ear and out the other.

“Han Kang and Guide Jaechan are in different positions, aren’t they?”

He almost flared up again at the mention of Han Kang. When Jaechan’s eyes widened involuntarily, the Center Director gave a leisurely twitch of his eyebrows. It was an attitude that seemed to ask what he could possibly do about it.

Huuu, Jaechan swallowed his breath and decided just not to look at him at all. Fixing his hollow gaze on the documents, Jaechan repeatedly focused and unfocused his vision, making full preparations to let the man’s bullshit slide past him.

Did he notice that state? Kim Daeyoung uncrossed his knees and leaned forward in his seat. The sound of him moving reached Jaechan’s ears in minute detail. The sound of the sofa leather crushing, the sound of his feet stepping on the floor, and the entirety of that unpleasant voice clicking with a “Hmm” right in front of his nose.

“The treatment of those who manifested naturally and Guide Jaechan, who manifested clinically through drugs, cannot be the same. Guide Jaechan’s daily routine is important data for us, and it is our duty to accumulate this to create an even better condition.”

“Yes.”

“Don’t feel too bad about it. We have an obligation to monitor how far the efficacy of the drug goes. And we have to try to develop even better medication to pull Guide Jaechan’s ability to the absolute maximum, don’t we?”

“Yes, yes.”

“But it won’t do to skip your medicine like this without any other reports.”

“I see.”

Jaechan tried not to be shaken by him, responding with deliberately shorter and faster answers. This was separate from the emotions that were surging up from feeling offended.

He just wanted this situation to end quickly. He was annoyed at having to hear such things over skipping just two days of reporting, and he was also annoyed at Kim Daeyoung, who wouldn’t give him a break even though he would have handled it fine if given a proper nudge.

He already had so much to do; wasn’t it more of a loss to hold him back like this? Especially since today was the day he performed insertion guiding.

If the Guide they had manifested succeeded in guiding safely, shouldn’t they recognize that achievement? Yet he couldn’t understand this situation where they were holding him back and policing him.

Contrary to Jaechan’s wish to just finish up, Kim Daeyoung gulped down some cold water that had been set out and added more words.

“Furthermore, Han Kang is the most top-tier Esper among those who manifested naturally. Since the Guide guiding such an Esper is a clinical manifestation Guide, we will naturally pay more attention, won’t we? You should be understanding of that.”

Hearing up to that point, Jaechan felt like he had reached his limit.

He didn’t know how many times he had to hear the same line of reasoning. Stress was rushing in, making him feel as though the pressure in his eyes was rising.

Is he trying to break my spirit right now? If so, why? What did I do so wrong?

Up until now, he had behaved submissively as the Center told him to and worked diligently according to the schedule. He guided Han Kang because they told him to, and for the sake of Han Kang not losing his position as the top Esper in the Center, he even performed the insertion guiding that he disliked.

However, contrary to common sense, his pride felt brutally trampled by words that seemed to separate and rank him and Han Kang. No matter if he was a Guide who manifested through clinical trials, it wouldn’t kill the man to speak kindly.

Jaechan already knew his situation better than anyone, and because he felt a lack of confidence, he was a person who had created secrets even from his closest friend, Han Kang. Being unable to be upright in front of the person he liked was the most miserable thing of all.

Anger finally blossomed at the Center Director’s attitude, which was belittling Jaechan, of whom it was no exaggeration to say he lived for his pride.

He wondered who this man thought he was to suppress him to such an extent. What was so great about being a Guide anyway? He even had the thought that he could just skip that damn medicine and project his waves properly on his own.

“Yes, I will take my medicine well and submit reports on time.”

For now, he had no choice but to answer with a voice that suppressed his anger. His heart ached because his pride was wounded. He felt like he might cry immediately if his nerves were poked just a little more. Feeling a hot heat pressing behind his eyes, Jaechan put strength into his gaze and stared straight at the man.

“Yes, then that’s good for us.”

Only then did Kim Daeyoung lean back as if satisfied. His expression was still slimy, as if he thought Jaechan was following his words submissively.

No, perhaps he never cared about Jaechan’s feelings in the first place. He felt instinctively intimidated by the attitude that seemed to say there was no need to cater to the whims of a mere “specimen” who manifested clinically, whether his feelings were hurt or not.

While thinking that he just needed to grow and prove his abilities in times like this, he naturally shrank back as he lacked the confidence that he could actually do so.

I did well today. He felt so sorrowful he thought he might go crazy.

And he was also annoyed at his own state of being swayed by the man despite having done a good job.

This is shit.

No, really. Did he go around lying to anyone that he manifested naturally? Did he boast as if the guiding waves were his own inherent power?

He was already bothered by the researchers’ gazes, and because he had kept a secret that must not be found out by Han Kang, he had lived somewhat withdrawn. In the midst of that, indignation surged at the man’s attitude of piercing the sore spot and making him realize his place.

He would have done well on his own if left alone, so was it really necessary to grate on a person like this?

Jaechan felt the rims of his eyes turning hot and red as he stood up. After leaving a greeting with just a slight nod of his head, he immediately opened the door and left the Center Director’s office.

Han Kang, whom he expected to be waiting out front, was nowhere to be seen. He had wanted to cling to him and vent his annoyance about the shitty things he had heard, but since he wasn’t visible right away, the gloominess doubled.

Why is everyone doing this to me?

Did I not manifest properly because I didn’t want to? Ever since the Center first took Han Kang away, he didn’t know how much he had blamed himself, thinking it would have been so much better if he could have manifested and stayed together.

Why couldn’t I manifest like Han Kang did, leaving me behind here all alone? His heart had been so heavy.

Jaechan looked around and let out a deep sigh. Because his eyes were burning, it took a long time to control himself by pressing his palms against them. Then, hearing the patter-patter of walking footsteps, he looked ahead.

“Honey!”

Han Kang, approaching from far away, was smiling brightly toward Jaechan. The moment he saw that figure, he felt as if he were looking at sunlight soaking through a thick, low-lying mist.

Jaechan felt a sudden surge of emotion and clamped his mouth shut.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Knowing that his expression was unusual, Han Kang, who had been walking slowly, increased his speed. Hearing the thud-thud-thud of him running, Jaechan dropped his head low. Han Kang arrived in an instant and hugged him tightly.

It was a gesture that seemed to know well that he needed comfort. When he lowered his head even further at that, Han Kang asked worriedly.

“What’s wrong? What did he say?”

In that tender tone, the bridge of his nose felt as if it might sting.

He couldn’t feel any of the awkward atmosphere caused by the insertion guiding. It was like that in the past, too. Even after a big fight, if Jaechan showed even a little bit of a gloomy aura, Han Kang would be the first to approach and lighten the mood. He was grateful for Han Kang’s consistency, yet it made him feel more sorrowful.

Instead of swallowing the conversation contents that he couldn’t possibly tell, Jaechan faced Han Kang with his expression crumpled into a scowl.

“Can’t you skip dinner today and go to the Monster Museum with me?”