FETCH 39

“Why, what did Kim Daeyoung say? What did he say to make you so pissed off?”

Han Kang’s voice, asking in a low tone, grew increasingly serious. Since he couldn’t exactly spill every little detail anyway, Jaechan just mumbled while buried in Han Kang’s embrace.

“Just… go with me.”

“No, fuck. What kind of bullshit did he pull on someone who just finished performing insertion guiding?”

Even as Han Kang got angry on his behalf and spat out coarse curses, Jaechan simply kept his lips pressed firmly together. He knew this anger wasn’t directed at him. However, because there was no one else who accepted him as well as Han Kang did, he had simply decided to lean on him.

As he moved his feet without a word, Han Kang, who was walking right beside him to match his pace, was restless. His breathing grew heavy and his chest began to heave roughly, but Jaechan just gripped his hand tightly in silence.

Watching him, Han Kang lowered his body to meet his eye level.

“Shall we go right now? We can eat after we go. It’s open until eight. There isn’t much time left. Let’s go quickly. If it’s hard to walk, should I give you a piggyback ride? Should I carry you?”

He thought it was a bit much, but in the end, the only one who truly understood him was Han Kang. Jaechan simply leaned his head against his shoulder without a word.

While he was grateful to Han Kang for being so anxious along with him, deep down, a futile envy reared its head, making him wish he had been a naturally manifested Guide.

If only I hadn’t taken the clinical trial drug. Then I could have looked at Han Kang more honorably and taken my place as his Guide proudly without hiding anything, and I wouldn’t have had to feel this kind of humiliation.

Somehow, today felt so eventful that he felt as if all his energy had been drained away. The moment he let out a sigh, huuu, Han Kang thrust his face right in front of him while still holding Jaechan’s hand tightly.

“Honey, I don’t know what happened, but cheer up. Should I cook ramyun for you? Let’s stop by the house for a bit after the museum. Or is there, you know, something you want? Should we go shopping?”

Thanks to Han Kang, who was even acting cute—something he never usually did—just to lift his mood, a short laugh finally escaped.

Right, what’s the point in being angry? That man’s personality has always been like that anyway.

No matter what, I was Han Kang’s Guide, and that alone was enough to achieve my goal.

Ehyu, letting out a sigh, Jaechan playfully brushed his hand down Han Kang’s face. Realizing his mood had lifted, Han Kang gave him a more handsome smile than ever.

.✦ ݁˖

Thud, thud.

The sound of walking footsteps echoed clearly around them. Amidst the lingering quiet noise, occasional glances were directed toward Jaechan and Han Kang, and small murmurs settled behind those gazes.

Even though he had left the Center, Jaechan visited the Monster Museum to soothe his still-simmering insides. In the past, he would have regained his peace of mind by scouring every single exhibition hall from the entrance to the exit, but this time was different.

The place his feet headed toward was not the specimens of monster carcasses he had seen to the point of boredom, nor the site of a gate forcibly restored, but in front of the chronology where the names of Espers were recorded.

Jaechan stared fixedly at the chronology that was updated every time. There was content he wanted to find with Han Kang.

[Esper Han Kang, Ice Attribute S-Class, Member of Team Zero, Manifested at age 17 and currently active]

And the space next to it was still blank.

It had been quite a while since he manifested as a Guide, yet the Center still hadn’t put his name in.

Jaechan looked at it with a cold, sunken gaze. He felt his heart drop. He wasn’t in a great mood to begin with, but now it felt like he might cry immediately if someone touched him.

Jaechan involuntarily clenched his fists tight. He put strength into his lips and just stood there, staring at it silently.

It was a kind of quest. Having his name placed right there.

Since it was the spot next to Han Kang, he had been greedy for it, and the thought that he hadn’t achieved it made it feel as if all the strength was draining from his body.

How long had he been looking at it? Han Kang, who had been looking around saying it had been a long time since they visited, let out a displeased sound from beside him.

“Why aren’t you there? They still haven’t done this for you?”

“Seems so.”

He felt there wasn’t even a need to be bitter. Jaechan didn’t even bother to press his lips down. Through this, he could vividly see how the Center intended to treat him. No, actually, he had known it well for a long time but had been trying hard to ignore it, and it became clear by confirming it with his eyes.

It was true that he had vaguely hoped his name might be there since it had been quite a while since he visited the Monster Museum. He thought that seeing it might slightly improve his heart, which had just been wounded by Kim Daeyoung.

But it was a blank space.

As if they didn’t recognize him as Han Kang’s pair, as if he were still nothing more than a temporary substitute.

His fists clenched tight. Unable to hide his mood which was becoming endlessly depressed, he bit his lip hard, and immediately Han Kang’s worried gaze followed.

“Honey, don’t look at this. Let’s go home and eat ramyun.”

Even though this wasn’t his fault, Han Kang was on pins and needles again. Tugging at his arm, he was urging him to leave quickly.

But Jaechan couldn’t budge from where he stood. As if he had been frozen to that spot.

In fact, Han Kang himself was still rejecting him many times over. Today he had barely managed to complete the insertion guiding safely, but he was aware it had been started forcibly in an emergency. Where was the guarantee that things would be smooth in the future?

Indeed, he was in the middle of trying to force his aching heart to calm down, thinking: why would the Center recognize me when Han Kang, the one I’m actually paired with, doesn’t even recognize me?

“But well, why does this kind of thing even matter, right?”

“…”

“Hey, even if it’s not here, my dedicated partner is you. Jeon Jaechan. There’s no one else but you who guides me.”

At the unexpected words, Jaechan twitched his eyebrows and looked up at Han Kang. He looked at him intently, wondering if he was just saying sweet things to comfort him, but Han Kang grinned and drew out his words.

“Don’t worry. I’ll tell them to put you in right away. Ah, the Center isn’t doing their job. What are they doing? They should have put you in immediately. Right? I’ll never have a dedicated partnership with anyone else, so don’t be depressed. Okay?”

Would it be a delusion if he felt like these words weren’t just said to comfort him?

Jaechan felt a thick sincerity in Han Kang’s words as he tried his best to lift his mood. That made sense, because Han Kang, who wasn’t usually very talkative, was chatting away quite a lot.

Of course, it wasn’t that he ever acted all serious in front of him, but he also wasn’t the type to mumble and talk to himself to that extent.

But was there a need to find another reason?

Jaechan looked at Han Kang while trying hard to compose his sunken heart.

“Do you mean it?”

“What?”

“That you won’t make anyone else your dedicated partner besides me.”

Jaechan picked that one point out of the many things Han Kang had said. He didn’t need the recognition of others. He only needed Han Kang’s one acceptance.

“You really won’t make another dedicated partner besides me?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

Han Kang nodded his head immediately as if there was no need to even think about it.

“…I guess so.”

Indeed, Han Kang was a person who had lived his whole life hearing that he had a bad personality because he couldn’t tell a single lie since he was a child.

“And I haven’t had a dedicated partner until now? Honey is the first.”

Jaechan let out a long breath, huuuu, and gently rubbed Han Kang’s name where it was engraved. Inwardly, he steeled his resolve, thinking, ‘I’ll endure until my name appears here.’

Even in the midst of that, the uncomfortable words left by Kim Daeyoung echoed in his mind. Perhaps because of that, an anxiety he wanted to ignore also began to crawl up in one corner of his heart.

What if the drug wears off and I can’t even perform proper guiding anymore? He had heard that occasionally the powers of a Guide or Esper naturally dissipate and they suddenly return to being ordinary people, but he didn’t want that.

At the very least, he wanted to stay by Han Kang’s side for as long as possible, and even if it was guiding that Han Kang rejected right now, who knows if one day he might become habituated to his guiding and surrender his body completely.

Furthermore, having had intercourse with him gave him a sense of certainty. His desire for him only grew larger. He didn’t want to give him up to any other Guide. With the thoughts that anyone naturally has for someone they like, Jaechan was trembling with a faint anxiety.

If I hadn’t touched it in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened.

He tried to regret it late, but the train had already left and he had already manifested. Making a clicking sound with his tongue, Jaechan slowly turned around and left the museum.

Well, since it’s already turned out like this, what can I do? From now on, I just had to guide as hard as possible and induce Han Kang to receive the guiding well.

“Can’t you buy me something other than ramyun?”

Only then did he smile and speak to Han Kang, who was whimpering beside him like a puppy checking his owner’s mood. Han Kang nodded his head vigorously, saying he could buy him anything. The worry that had heavily shaded his handsome face vanished instantly.