Joker 1 (Side Story) Ch 14

“Do you remember Heo Iljong?”

That stench—he let it spill onto Joo Hawon at last.

“……”

A flicker of confusion passed across his face—Who’s that again?—then his eyes widened in shock.

He couldn’t see what Heo Iljong had to do with their fight.

“Heo Iljong died recently.”

“What does that old man’s death have to do with anything?”

The unexpected words sent Joo Hawon’s mind crashing from boiling heat into icy cold.

“Heo Iljong, who was wanted in Macau, tried to sneak back to Korea with Tangbang. He was thrown into the sea on the way.”

The news of Heo Iljong’s death was certainly shocking, but it didn’t explain why they were fighting.

“Did you… meet Tangbang today? Then what reason could there possibly be to hide it…?”

“Didn’t you think anything about that was strange?”

Their words missed each other completely—like a dream at odds with reality.

Joo Hawon stared at Kwon Taeha, who looked straight at him, and retraced his steps closer.

He tried to steady himself, wetting his lips with the sharp burn of alcohol, but even his lips felt feverish.

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“While repaying the debt.”

Kwon Taeha rarely brought up the past. He consciously avoided it, perhaps afraid of recalling everything he had gone through. Yet this time, he was the one who mentioned it first.

“Didn’t it ever seem strange to you — how you became the main dealer?”

“……”

Clink. The ice in his glass shattered softly against the glass wall.

“You still owed tens of billions of won. You were barely sixteen. And yet those loan sharks let you keep paying it off little by little.”

“They had to get their money back too.”

Joo Hawon started to say something more but shut his mouth. He took a sip of the liquor in his glass before continuing.

“What’s strange about that?”

Kwon Taeha’s gray-blue eyes resembled the foam of waves sweeping over a dark sea. Joo Hawon felt dizzy, as if he were about to be swept away by the rushing tide. He told himself it was just because of the strong liquor.

“I told you I saw you a long time ago, didn’t I? You’d bought a single fishcake in front of a jerky shop.”

“That wasn’t anything unusual. I did that all the time. So why do you keep—”

“That day, you saw me.”

“……”

“You looked at me — me sitting in that car. And you, just a boy, were staring at me….” He looked confused, as though he were recalling the emotion of that moment.

“I felt as if you had completely captured me. You were so beautiful, so pure… and I thought, who would ever just leave someone like you alone? People with debts are easy to control.”

A person with debt has their life mortgaged to light. His own past years had proven that.

“Still, I repaid it, and kept repaying it… I endured and lived. That’s how I met you, Director.”

“You once said this — that if I had saved you when you were young, I would’ve had nothing to regret.”

“Back then, who could’ve imagined we’d end up like this? I couldn’t either.”

“‘Tangbang’ said something once. That if your life had completely fallen apart, he would’ve killed you.”

“My father asked him to do that.”

“You knew?”

“Yes. I could’ve just said I met Tangbang, but…” He couldn’t finish the question — why did you lie to me?

Did he say it was strange, how he became the main dealer?
What was strange about it…?

Until Kwon Taeha made his offer, the loan sharks had chased him for money, so he had worked like a dog every single day. What could possibly be strange about that? A debtor being hunted by debt was only natural. And disdain from the collectors always came along with it.

He’d been slapped by Oh Useong, had his hair grabbed when he refused to sell his body. There were countless times when Oh Useong ranted at Heo Iljong, asking why he hadn’t just sold him off already.

Yet, not once did Heo Iljong ever tell him to sell his body to repay his debt, nor did he ever broker prostitution. Thinking back, it was odd. Sometimes, when he couldn’t even cover the interest, the man extended the deadline.

Why had Heo Iljong gone easy on him?

At first, when he was caught by Iljong’s men, he had been able to pay off the debt bit by bit. He wasn’t old enough to get a proper job, so he worked on construction sites, ran errands at gambling dens. He also knew just how terrifying loan sharks were rumored to be. They said they dealt in organ trafficking too.

Even if they didn’t kill their debtors, they all took at least one kidney.

“I made a deal with Heo Iljong.”

Joo Hawon was about to ask what on earth he meant, but Kwon Taeha spoke first.

“I told him not to send you anywhere.”

Joo Hawon couldn’t even blink. His body didn’t move an inch toward Kwon Taeha.

“From the beginning, all your debt was transferred to my name. I paid it.”

It sounded like the voice of a baritone singing Schubert’s ‘Erlkönig’. He recalled what Taeha had once said at the Füssen charity event long ago —

“Even if I end up liking you, I’ll never pay your debt. Every bit of that debt belongs to me.”

Kwon Taeha’s voice was deceiving him. He said that all the debt Hawon had scraped and crawled to repay had actually belonged to him all along.

That couldn’t be true. He wanted to laugh and tell him not to joke, to stop lying. But his lips wouldn’t move. The water that had started at his toes was already up to his chest, squeezing the air from his lungs.

“Joo Hawon, I… was your pimp and your creditor.”

The water flooded over his head.

He was the one who had tried to dig up Taeha’s lie, and now he was the one drowning in the truth that overflowed. His ears rang so badly it felt like they were bursting. His hand trembled around the glass — or maybe it wasn’t just his hand. All he could hear was the sharp crack of firewood splitting apart.

“Joking…”

Even the words “don’t” couldn’t come out. His body was submerged in cold water, yet his eyes burned with heat.

“Why?”

His voice trembled into a mess.

“Why did you buy my debt? Why…?”

“If the me back then had known why, you wouldn’t have suffered. We wouldn’t have ended up here either.”

How could he sound so calm? He had thought he understood Kwon Taeha, but now he couldn’t read his emotions at all.

“Then, when you saw me paying you back… what were you thinking?”

His vision flickered between darkness and light. He didn’t want to show weakness, but after learning how to cling for so long, it wasn’t easy to stop.

“Were you enjoying it?”

Joo Hawon blinked to shake away the wetness gathering in his eyes.

“Ah… that twenty billion you gave me… I guess that just went back to you too.”

A laugh scattered like ash, and moisture welled up again in his dazed eyes.

“So that’s why you killed Heo Iljong?”

“No.”

“The ‘Gangho Inn’ incident — was that you too?”

“I said no.”

“Then… ha, were you being threatened by them? Were they going to tell me? That idiot Joo Hawon living happily with Kwon Taeha, not knowing a thing?”

His chest rose and fell faster and faster.

“So you lied to me. Let me stew in ridiculous misunderstandings. Just so you could feel better. And now you tell me?”

Joo Hawon struck his chest hard with his fist.

He hadn’t realized it while running through the pitch-dark tunnel of debt, but now, standing in the light, he could see — the road he’d taken had always been one straight path.

He’d thought he had wandered many different roads, but it had always been the same one. It had twists and turns, but it never split. And at the beginning of that road stood the twenty-year-old Kwon Taeha.

A chill ran down his spine. From the very start, he had been dancing in Kwon Taeha’s palm.

When Kwon Taeha reached out, Joo Hawon stepped back.

“Joo Hawon.”

Perhaps he had expected that reaction — he didn’t try to hold him by force.

“In the end, I saved you.”

Beep. A ringing sound, sharp as a gunshot, echoed in his ears.

If Kwon Taeha hadn’t paid off his debt, his father’s request would’ve ended with his son’s death. Heo Iljong would never have spared him. He would have taken every organ worth money, and then sold his body afterward.

Should he thank him for saving his life? Then why did he feel nothing but overwhelming betrayal? Could betrayal and gratitude even coexist?

“Should I thank you… for saving me? You, who have held my entire life in your hands since then…”

His breath grew ragged. He despised his body for being too weak even to contain his rage.

“Make an excuse.”

Joo Hawon clutched the back of the sofa and forced himself to stand, glaring at him.

“Right now… ha, at least tell me why you did it.”

“At first, I thought it was revenge. It was a feeling I’d never known before. So I tried to forget, and I did.”

It wasn’t an excuse — it was a brutal truth.

“The man I am now isn’t the same as I was then. I regret it, but I won’t make excuses.”

He no longer had the strength to stand. Using the sofa for balance, Joo Hawon pushed himself upright. He turned to leave, but Kwon Taeha caught him from behind.

“Joo Hawon, I—”

“Let go.”

Perhaps because he realized that the life he had clung to with spite and venom had all been set up by Kwon Taeha, all the strength drained from him. He had never been a player — only a piece on the game board.

“Look at me.”

His eyes stayed fixed on the floor. They wouldn’t lift toward him.

“I’m beneath you in power, in status, in everything. How could someone like me possibly look at you?”

“You stood beside me. You held my hand.”

“Ceo… how could I ever… see you the same again?”

The body wrapped around his back trembled — but that had to be his imagination.

“Did I start this? No — Joo Sangkyung and Kwon Yijae did. Without me, you would never have escaped that debt. That’s the truth.”

Joo Hawon lowered his gaze to the hands that bound him.

“Then why do I feel betrayed by you, Director? Besides that, what other feelings could I possibly have for you…?”

“Then be thankful.” His head spun.

“Wh-what…?”

“Or keep resenting me.”

Joo Hawon felt as if something was draining from his body. He couldn’t tell if it was vitality or poison. No, all the air and moisture inside him were leaving. His lungs, which should have drawn in air with every exhale, only functioned halfway, sending pain in its place.

Huff, haah…

With Joo Hawon’s labored breathing, Kwon Taeha quickly guided him to the sofa. At nearly the same time, he reached for the inhaler on the table. In his frantic movements, the bottle of liquor Eva had wished their future with rolled across the marble floor. The ice basket tipped over, spilling its contents.

Joo Hawon glared at him, wheezing.

Pathetic. Pretending to care like that.

And pitiful. Worried about what might happen to him.

Joo Hawon rose as if he had squeezed every ounce of strength from his life. Heading toward the room, he shoved Taeha aside, gasping, and then found the inhaler he had placed on the bedside table.

His trembling hands made him drop it, but he gripped the inhaler tightly until his hands went white. After spraying the medication, his previously constricted airways gradually opened. Still, his body sprawled on the floor panted heavily.

Kwon Taeha, confronted with such defiance that rejected his help entirely, felt an overwhelming refusal.

“I… can’t see you the way I used to.”

Kwon Taeha roughly brushed his face. Joo Hawon lightly clenched his teeth, exhaling in controlled breaths.

“…Why should I bear the burden of something you said just to make yourself comfortable?”

He still stood upright on his legs, but Joo Hawon felt like a tattered rag lying on the floor. He felt nothing but disgust at his wretched body. The life abandoned by his parents, his body malfunctioning as if shot, it all seemed Taeha’s fault.

“No matter what, I can’t let you go.”

Kwon Taeha knelt before Joo Hawon’s worn, wasted body. Tears, which he thought had stopped, spilled again. Taeha couldn’t reach out. His face was drenched, yet he couldn’t even offer comfort.

“…Go away.”

Joo Hawon stubbornly refused to look at him.

“I won’t leave without you.”

“Then get out of my life completely.”

Would Eva have known? Would Kwon Jaehee have known? It was a staggering twenty billion. If the twenty-year-old Kwon Taeha had handled that much money, Eva couldn’t have been unaware.

“Here, I poured my constant prayers for your happiness and efforts into this.”

Then there had been another deception here.

“Joo Hawon.”

“You’re lucky, Ceo. Haah, lucky to have a mother and brother who love you. But I… even if you hurt me, I have no family to hold me… If I remove you from my life… nothing remains…” 

You were my family…

Kwon Taeha only stared endlessly as Joo Hawon wept, clutching his chest. He feared that his eyes might melt, or that Joo Hawon might collapse again.

Kwon Jaehee said he was wrong, but no. This was a truth Joo Hawon had to carry until death. Every regret in his life had involved Taeha. And so, once again, he regretted.

As he moved to embrace the sobbing Joo Hawon, an icy voice clashed with him.

“Don’t touch me. It’s disgusting.”

Whether it was genuine or just words spoken in anger, Taeha’s words cut and tore through him.

“Please… just go. I can’t breathe. Let me breathe.” He was the one stealing Joo Hawon’s breath.

Kwon Taeha’s vision went dark. He had known this would happen. That’s why he hadn’t spoken. Or had he truly known?

“If you want to see me die…”

Then stay. As long as you’re here, I won’t drink or eat.

A metallic edge threaded through his gasping voice. Perhaps the drug had worn off, or perhaps Joo Hawon’s grief was just that intense; his wheezing escaped his throat in torrents. Taeha felt as though he might actually kill him. He lifted his legs, numb to sensation, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Joo Hawon’s side.

Unable to climb the bed, he sprawled on the floor. He reached for a blanket, but this time, it seemed as if Joo Hawon wouldn’t even breathe, hurling the inhaler far away.

The determined, fierce Joo Hawon really intended to show him dying.

Still, Taeha couldn’t leave the room. Joo Hawon lay on his side, staring at the far wall. Huff, haah. In the irregular gasps, the shadow of death crept to his feet.

He retrieved the inhaler Joo Hawon had thrown, gripping it with both hands, but it fell with a soft clatter. Taeha felt as if struck by a war hammer in his ice-cold hands.

Faced with such rejection, he saw no path forward. Somehow, he ended up standing in the living room, unaware of how he got there.

Even as worry piled up, all he could do was call Wagner and instruct him to watch over Joo Hawon. Taeha didn’t move from the entrance hall until the next day. Joo Hawon never came out once.

His declaration that he wouldn’t drink or eat while staying in the house held true. Not even drinking water made him worry that something irreversible might happen.

It wasn’t until the second day that Taeha could step outside. He had thought countless times about barging in, but never did.

Since Joo Hawon had staked his life in this gamble, Taeha could only be the loser.

He stationed all the security personnel at the villa and ordered them to focus on Joo Hawon. Then he got into the car alone.