Vol 1 Ch 6

Not that Seo Jeongwon would have any insignificant schedules, but for a few days, schedules that only the top of the tops among major ones could handle poured in, leaving him utterly drained. Even amidst extreme fatigue, Seo Jeongwon meticulously managed his demanding schedule and perfectly executed everything.

 

The joking remark that people in the industry would tilt their heads at his personality, which he didn’t even bother to hide and which often popped out unexpectedly, but once they experienced his ability and impact in his main profession, they would forget all the personality controversies and only shout his name—it wasn’t for nothing.

 

“You really worked hard today. The schedule really piled up like this. Rest on the way.”

 

“I’m so tired I can’t even sleep, but show me the stuff you scraped.”

 

“Ah, you want to see that? Here.”

 

Manager Kim Sunjong had scraped all articles, reactions, and even critiques that seemed like they wouldn’t hurt to read. Seo Jeongwon, in between movements, would look at them, absorb what needed absorbing, discard what needed discarding, and in his own way, reflect on his own image as ‘actor Seo Jeongwon.’

 

Seo Jeongwon, leaning back in his seat, scrolled through the articles his manager had scraped one by one, and clicked on an article titled ‘[Exclusive] Actor Seo Jeongwon’s Perfect Good Deed.’ It contained photos of him doing briquette volunteer work. Even if he did it secretly, in the end, someone found out and wrote an article.

 

People who didn’t do it for this effect would get angry, asking why they publicized it without permission, but Seo Jeongwon actually thought it was fortunate. Because if he worked so hard all day and gained nothing, it would be unfair.

 

Scrolling down expressionlessly, Seo Jeongwon stopped his gaze on the last photo. He was smiling, and the face next to him had been blurred for protection. Seo Jeongwon easily recalled the face behind that blur. The face that had made him live in pity for half a day came to mind very clearly for some reason. The face looking up at him under the flickering streetlight… A rather pretty face.

 

“Hyung, what was the name of that kid I ate with?”

 

“The kid you ate with? Ate… Ah, Yeonjun. Ha Yeonjun.”

 

“Ah, Ha Yeonjun. Right. That seems about right.”

 

The pity he thought had completely disappeared was surging up again, raising its head. He knew it was right to cover the face for personal protection, but seeing the face covered carelessly and haphazardly put him in a bad mood for no reason.

 

“Did you contact him again after that?”

 

“No, I didn’t. Why? Do you feel so sorry you could die no matter how much you think about it? Yeah, Jeongwon-ah. You’re turning twenty-eight soon too, it’s about time you changed a bit. Yeah, feeling guilt for your own wrong actions is natural. Let this be the start, and from now on, let’s be a bit more human, okay?”

 

Seo Jeongwon, who had been looking at the tablet, lifted only his gaze and looked at the back of Manager Kim Sunjong driving. Though he wasn’t exactly glaring, his gaze was quite sharp.

 

“Are you saying I’m not human?”

 

“No, it’s not that. Hey, if you take it that way…”

 

“If I take it that way?”

 

“…I’m sorry, okay.”

 

“That’s why I said it.”

 

Seo Jeongwon, lowering his gaze back to the tablet, clicked on another article. It contained a photo of him and Yeonjun sitting facing each other in a restaurant. Seo Jeongwon scrolled through the article.

 

[Exclusive] Actor Seo Jeongwon, Endless Good Deeds Relay ‘Once an Acquaintance, Always!’

 

Actor Seo Jeongwon (27) is a hot topic after it was revealed that he had a one-on-one meal with his teenage male fan. Seo Jeongwon topped the list of ‘Stars Who Want to Share Love in the Cold Winter,’ and to repay that love, he secretly volunteered to deliver briquettes with his agency staff on the 12th. Seo Jeongwon, who had a great time taking pictures and talking with a nineteen-year-old fan he met there, did not end it as a momentary encounter but invited the teenage fan to a pleasant one-on-one meal.

 

Netizens are praising Seo Jeongwon’s good deeds, saying that he gave an unforgettable gift to a teenage fan living in difficult circumstances, and sending generous comments that Seo Jeongwon’s face is proportional to his character. Seo Jeongwon is currently taking a break after attracting ten million viewers to the movie <Love in That Autumn> last November, achieving consecutive box office successes. By Oh Ja-yeon, fivenature@todayclick.com

 

It was an article that worked perfectly in his favor—so much so that it almost seemed like it had been written by a fan. And yet, after reading it, Seo Jeongwon felt even more depressed. The phrase “an unforgettable gift” stirred the lingering discomfort he felt about Ha Yeonjun, a feeling that had never truly faded.

If Ha Yeonjun had reacted normally, he would not have felt this uneasy. If the boy had looked at him like a psychopath while he stabbed at his steak, or glared at him with open resentment for being dragged out, it would have ended cleanly—as a forced and unpleasant encounter.

Somewhere on the internet, rumors would have spread that Ha Yeonjun met Seo Jeongwon, only for Seo Jeongwon to act rude and poke at his steak with a bored expression. Someone would scold the rumor-mongers, someone else would believe them, and others would pile on with insults. It could have ended simply like that.

But Ha Yeonjun had been different.

From beginning to end, he was so humble it raised questions. Whenever Seo Jeongwon glanced at him, there was no dissatisfaction, no resentment, no hatred. He even remembered that while he was stabbing the steak, Ha Yeonjun had looked at it with concern—as if thinking, What should I do? The steak is tough.

Even when indigestion made him sick, Ha Yeonjun never muttered anything like, “Seo Jeongwon, you trash.” Instead, he spoke as though confessing something, and until the moment they parted, he never once took his eyes off him. Because those eyes had been so sincere, the scenes clung stubbornly to Seo Jeongwon’s heart. He wanted to scrub them away, but the more he tried, the more the sticky residue spread.

The pity he thought had disappeared within half a day had clearly lingered, roaming around while he worked, giving him no chance to sort it out. That was why he hated feeling sorry for people. He was too easily swept along by it.

Seo Jeongwon, who did not read the article any further, set the tablet down beside him and leaned back, closing his eyes. The thought that he should never have looked at it filled his mind. His feet, stuck fast in the mess he had created, refused to move.

After returning home and showering, Seo Jeongwon hesitated between beer and sparkling water before choosing the latter and sitting down on the sofa. To take care of his body before his next project, it was best to avoid alcohol as much as possible.

He considered watching a movie before sleeping, briefly debating whether to do so in the living room or in bed. Deciding it would be less bothersome to move now rather than later, he went into his room.

Taking a sip of the flavorless sparkling water, he leaned back against the bed and opened the app he usually used to watch movies or foreign dramas. Without much thought, he selected a movie and fixed his gaze on the screen.

It was a dull melodrama. He did not particularly like romance stories, but when he needed something to follow emotional lines, he always ended up choosing melodramas. On the screen, a man and woman who had spent a wonderful day together smiled at each other in front of a fountain under the darkening night sky.

I’ll remember today forever.
I’ll never forget this moment either.

The subtitles appeared, and Seo Jeongwon cursed under his breath. At the same time, a voice that had not faded at all surfaced in his mind.

Thinking about today, with that memory… I think I can live happily for the rest of my life.

Seo Jeongwon frowned and turned off the screen. It made sense for people who had enjoyed a genuinely happy date to say such things, but no matter how much he thought about it, he could not understand how Ha Yeonjun could say he was happy while looking at him—someone who had merely sat there indifferently.

“….”

He wondered if the boy had been mocking him, but that thought collapsed immediately. No one would tremble and look on the verge of tears just to deceive someone. World-class acting might exist, but Ha Yeonjun was not that kind of person.

Seo Jeongwon calmly recalled Ha Yeonjun’s face. He had been neat and unpretentious, his complexion pale. The indigestion had worsened it, but even before that, his skin had seemed naturally fair. He could tell from the hand holding the knife, from the exposed line of his neck.

And his eyelashes were long. Each time he blinked beneath the flickering streetlights, shadows formed beneath them.

Realizing how vividly he remembered, Seo Jeongwon straightened in surprise.

“I really noticed everything.”

He was usually observant, yet he had been unaware of how much he had seen, how much he had unconsciously stored away. Reaching for the remote beside the bed, he pressed the button. The soft lights vanished, and the room fell into complete darkness.

Despite days of packed schedules, when he could usually fall asleep without trouble, his insomnia had returned. Though mentally exhausted, sleep refused to come. If there were a power switch, he wanted to turn off the endlessly spinning thoughts in his head—to block out Ha Yeonjun’s face, flickering like a broken streetlight, and that voice along with it.

He tossed and turned. The rustle of the blanket echoed softly in the quiet room. In the darkness, faint images of people he had hurt through words, actions, or careless glances passed through his mind like end credits. There were too many to remember individually, and he had never felt the need to. Seo Jeongwon was that kind of person—someone who could remain indifferent even after hurting others. He had never regretted it.

So why now?

Those he had hurt had retaliated in their own ways. A staff member had posted online about Seo Jeongwon’s terrible personality. An actress had spread rumors that he was not just two-timing but six-timing after he ignored her confession. He had not cared about any of it. He knew denying such things only added weight to baseless words.

And honestly, he did not dislike being called terrible. A terrible personality was better than being too kind. Seo Jeongwon liked the personality he had deliberately shaped.

If Ha Yeonjun had taken even the smallest revenge that day—questioned his attitude, slammed his fork down, frowned in displeasure—Seo Jeongwon would have forgotten him entirely, his name buried at the very end of the endlessly long list of people he had hurt.

“….”

How could he be like that?

Whenever Seo Jeongwon thought of the boy from the hillside neighborhood, the same question repeated endlessly. How could he be like that? Truly—how?

The thoughts sharpened his exhaustion until his mind felt clearer rather than heavier. He could not live another day like this, circling the same thoughts without resolution. Seo Jeongwon hated ambiguity. If something bothered him, he dealt with it. He was not patient or relaxed enough to leave things unresolved and hope time would fix them.

He sat up against the headboard. The solution was simpler than expected.

He just needed to create a day worth remembering for a lifetime.

A genuinely good day—good enough that it made sense to feel happy when remembering it. It would be tedious and annoying, but he could pretend for a few hours. With just that much acting, Ha Yeonjun would remember something truly ordinary and be satisfied, and Seo Jeongwon would no longer feel this absurd pity.

Satisfied with the clarity of the solution, he turned on the bedside lamp and the TV once more.

Let’s never forget today.
This moment of joy, happiness—
And love.

The lovers gazed at each other and kissed without a word. Seo Jeongwon let out a short breath. Even kissing was boring, but tonight, he was willing to watch with a kinder heart. Soon, he would rid himself of this wretched pity creeping through him.

That alone made the night worth being a little kinder.

 

***

 

It was a bitterly cold day, cold enough for a cold wave advisory to be issued. Yeonjun was curled up inside a blanket whose stuffing had long since flattened, but the chill was so severe that he eventually forced himself to get up. He had spent the entire night shivering, barely sleeping at all. Though drowsy, it was impossible to fall asleep again in that room.

 

He turned on the boiler, but it was old, and the heat it produced was weak. Yeonjun boiled some water, dropped in a green tea bag, and held the mug between his hands to warm himself.

 

He had sent nearly all of his salary away, keeping only the portion his aunt allowed him for living expenses. There wasn’t much left, but he thought he should at least buy a cheap blanket today. It was only December, and it was already this cold—he couldn’t imagine how he would endure January and February. Taking a few sips of the green tea, which had quickly turned lukewarm in the cold air, Yeonjun wrapped the blanket tightly around himself again and decided he should leave for work early.

 

Grateful at least that he had been able to wash with warm water, Yeonjun pulled on a hoodie and layered a jacket over it. The moment he stepped outside, the air that struck his cheeks was indescribably cold. His skin felt as though it were tearing apart before he had even made it down the alley. He hurried along, heading for the convenience store. People passed him with hunched shoulders and stiff expressions. Feeling the numbness in his face, hands, and feet, Yeonjun quickened his pace.

 

The convenience store owner’s eyes widened when he saw Yeonjun arrive, frozen stiff. When asked if he had walked there, Yeonjun barely managed a nod. Clicking his tongue, the owner quickly grabbed a paper cup, tore open a packet of cocoa powder, and poured it inside. Seeing Yeonjun still shivering, he filled the cup with hot water up to the line, stirred it thoroughly, and handed it to him. Yeonjun bowed his head and accepted the warm drink.

 

“You came early because your house is cold?”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“I was thinking about you because of the cold wave advisory. You came at a good time. Drink that—you must be hungry. Eat whatever you want. Look how pale you are. What about your boiler?”

 

“It works, but it’s old, so it doesn’t seem to heat very well.”

 

“You’re still using the one your father replaced after you inhaled coal fumes as a kid?”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“Oh dear, that was years ago. Buy an electric blanket as soon as you get paid. It’s warm. You can get a decent one for forty thousand won these days—hotter than you’d expect.”

 

If Yeonjun had access to his full salary, he would have bought a fifty-thousand-won electric blanket without hesitation. But he only had 150,000 won on hand. Spending fifty thousand meant surviving an entire month on the remaining hundred thousand. Thinking about his monthly expenses, Yeonjun shook his head faintly.

 

“Do you feel better after drinking it?”

 

“Yes. Thank you.”

 

“I wonder if it’ll warm up during the day. Summers are unbearably hot, and winters are freezing. My place has terrible drafts too.”

 

The owner shrugged theatrically as if shivering, then suddenly exclaimed, “Ah!” He pulled out a yellow steamed bun and handed it to Yeonjun.

 

“This just came out. Eat it while it’s hot.”

 

“No, it’s okay.”

 

“What do you mean, it’s okay? You haven’t had breakfast, have you? Eat it. You like these, don’t you? Pizza steamed buns.”

 

He did like them. Still, accepting kindness repeatedly filled Yeonjun with a quiet sense of shame. But he hated making others uncomfortable by refusing even more. Bowing deeply, he accepted the warm bun, peeled off the paper stuck to the bottom, and took a bite. It was hot and delicious, and a small smile finally formed on his thawing lips.

 

Inside the store, he had almost forgotten the cold. But once he stepped back outside, worry crept in again—how would he get through tonight? Thinking he should buy a blanket, Yeonjun headed to the bus stop to catch a bus to the mart. The streets were unusually crowded.

 

“…Oh.”

 

A new advertisement for Seo Jeongwon stood at the bus stop. Yeonjun stared blankly at the actor’s handsome face, leaning against a sleek, expensive-looking car, and his thoughts drifted back to that day. He knew he would remember the days he had met Seo Jeongwon for the rest of his life whenever he saw his face. Thinking of Seo Jeongwon carrying briquettes, hand warmers, and blankets into the house, Yeonjun tilted his head.

 

“…Blanket?”

 

The thick blanket sealed inside a plastic bag came to mind. He had stored it away carefully, yet somehow forgotten about it entirely. Seo Jeongwon had already given him exactly what he needed—Yeonjun had simply been too foolish to remember.

 

After one last look at Seo Jeongwon’s smiling face on the brightly lit billboard, Yeonjun hurried away from the bus stop. He wanted to get home as quickly as possible and open the storage room that had transformed from an old space into a small treasure trove. He was glad he could spend tonight—no, the rest of winter—warm. And more than anything, he was glad that the blanket had come from Seo Jeongwon.

 

No longer feeling the cold, Yeonjun reached the stairs leading up to his alley before stopping to exhale a white breath. It wasn’t even seven yet, but the surroundings were as dark as midnight. Gathering his strength, he climbed the stairs. The alley was usually quiet, but tonight the silence felt heavier, making his footsteps echo loudly. He paused halfway to catch his breath, then continued on.

 

He thought about eating ramen for dinner. He didn’t particularly like it, but he had no other choice. Tucking his frozen hands into his sleeves, Yeonjun walked up the alley. A streetlight that had flickered until yesterday was now completely dark, plunging the path into deeper shadow. Still, home was just a little farther. He pulled his hands free to cover his aching ears and looked toward his gate—then stopped when he noticed the car parked in front of it.

 

“……”

 

It was a car that didn’t belong there. Cars sometimes came up the alley, but they were usually repair vehicles or cars belonging to visitors.

 

No one ever visited him.

 

Unable to approach the house, Yeonjun stared at the black car blocking the narrow path. Then, startled by a sudden sound, he turned his head. He had been so focused on the car that he hadn’t noticed someone standing beneath the flickering streetlight. The light blinked erratically, obscuring the person’s face. Cautiously, Yeonjun took a step forward.

 

Then another.

 

“……”

 

The man had his head down. Yeonjun cautiously took another step closer. He was now only about five steps away from the man. Only then, as if he had heard the footsteps, did the man lift his head. The streetlamp, which had been emitting only a faint light, suddenly shone brightly as if exerting all its strength, and their eyes met. A long breath escaped through Yeonjun’s lips, which had parted in surprise.

 

A long coat that fell to his knees, black hair lightly scattered by the cold wind, and a single person whose face made his heart drop the moment he saw him, even from five steps away.

 

It was Seo Jeongwon.

 

Upon recognizing the name Seo Jeongwon, Yeonjun stood frozen, watching Seo Jeongwon push himself off the wall he had been leaning against. Seo Jeongwon was five steps away. The Seo Jeongwon who should have been on TV. Had the blanket in the warehouse turned into Seo Jeongwon? Yeonjun faced such an absurd situation and had a truly absurd thought.

 

“…….”

 

As if knowing that Yeonjun would not approach, Seo Jeongwon came closer to Yeonjun. Not five steps, but only three.

 

“Have you been well?”

 

The Seo Jeongwon in front of him was now even speaking. Yeonjun opened his lips to answer but couldn’t make a sound and closed them again. And again, he opened his mouth to answer, but he couldn’t give any answer. Seo Jeongwon wasn’t particularly patient, but since he had come to do a good deed after a long time, he waited for Yeonjun to answer with as much patience as possible.

 

“…How did you…”

 

The answer that finally came out was weak. Seeing Yeonjun so surprised that he couldn’t even make a proper sound, Seo Jeongwon spoke in a calm voice as if it were nothing.

 

“Because of that day. The day Ha Yeonjun got indigestion.”

 

“…….”

 

“You said you’d remember it for the rest of your life, but I was too much of a jerk that day.”

 

“Oh, no! That’s not true…”

 

“You’re stuttering too much for it not to be true.”

 

“Th-that’s! No… that’s because I’m too surprised… I’m surprised.”

 

Seeing Yeonjun, who was at a loss and even explained why he was stuttering in response to his light joke meant to make him uncomfortable, a smile spread across Seo Jeongwon’s lips. Playing the role of a good person was easier than he thought. He just had to smile.

 

“Let’s have dinner together.”

 

“…Pardon?”

 

“Today, no one ordered me to come, and I came on my own, so don’t get indigestion.”

 

Seo Jeongwon smiled. Yeonjun blankly stared at Seo Jeongwon, who was smiling while looking him in the eye. The heart that had been beating so fast and loudly earlier now felt as if it had completely melted away. His smiling face was so beautiful that the heat rising in his heart spread everywhere, making his eyes hot. Yeonjun couldn’t even blink properly, as if Seo Jeongwon would disappear like a mirage if he did.

 

“Do you have any prior engagements?”

 

“No… I don’t. I have no plans. I have none…”

 

“That’s good. It’s cold, get in.”

 

Seo Jeongwon, who had turned away from the dazed Yeonjun, approached the car. Seo Jeongwon, who went to the passenger seat instead of the driver’s seat, looked at Yeonjun, who was still standing there. Yeonjun quickly came to his senses and approached Seo Jeongwon, not wanting Seo Jeongwon to stand in the cold any longer because of him. Seeing Yeonjun come to his side, Seo Jeongwon opened the passenger door.

 

“Get in.”

 

“…Yes.”