NAME 71

“I told you I wanted to talk.”

“I’m a bit tired today. If it’s not an important matter, I’d prefer to do it tomorrow.”

Seowon refused with a smooth smile and a tactful tone. It wasn’t exactly a lie. It was true that he was tired. After wrestling with Baek Kanghyun during lunch and working all afternoon without even a moment for a cup of coffee, his eyes felt stiff and dry as if they might pop out.

“Are you feeling refreshed now?”

“Yes.”

Without asking what he meant, Seowon answered immediately that he was. He stared at Baek Kanghyun with a steady smile. Grumbling as if it were absurd, Kanghyun eventually grabbed Seowon’s cuff. He then pulled Seowon toward the opposite end of the hallway.

“Where are you going right now…?”

The place he headed was the emergency staircase, a location steeped in memories of Jaehwan. Lightly pushing open the heavy door leading to the emergency stairs, he shoved Seowon into the dim space.

“Team Leader, I told you I was tired….”

As soon as he entered, two arms slid around his waist and wrapped around him. In the blink of an eye, he was held in the man’s embrace. His face touched Kanghyun’s shoulder, and their chests met. Bound by arms as firm as iron chains, Seowon only blinked his eyes rapidly.

Had Baek Kanghyun ever held him like this before? No matter how much he searched through the past six months, such a moment didn’t exist.

Just as he began to feel his chest tightening, Baek Kanghyun’s pheromones wafted over him. His stiff body relaxed softly, and the hug became more intimate.

“What is this all of a sudden?”

“You said you were tired.”

“Does it not occur to you, Team Leader, that you yourself are the cause of my fatigue?”

“I know. Because I know, I’m giving you medicine right now.”

“If you do this at the company….”

“Are you going to say you’re quitting again?”

Seowon remained silent. Though internally, he was cursing him out as a crazy bastard. He certainly wasn’t acting like this because he was afraid of Baek Kanghyun. It was just that his body, having received the pheromones, felt ticklish and languidly limp, and he didn’t want to say anything more.

Ever since he began receiving Baek Kanghyun’s pheromones, his body wasn’t satisfied with just a moderate amount. It didn’t matter when he wasn’t receiving them at all, but once the pheromones started, his body wanted to be drenched in them, which troubled Seowon. His body, tamed by suggestive methods like kissing and sex, kept moving restlessly. As if a mere hug wasn’t enough, as if they should at least be rubbing lips, the inside of his throat burned and his lips went dry.

“Now, please stop.”

“I told you I have something to say.”

“Surely you don’t intend to say it in this state?”

“This isn’t the kind of thing to talk about in a place like this.”

It seemed he intended to keep holding out until Seowon said okay. Perhaps if Seowon became even more limp than he was now, Kanghyun might carry him to his own house on his shoulder, just as he had done before. Therefore, Seowon decided to give up and stop resisting. Sometimes, backing down is the easier way.

“Fine. I get it, so please let go. And stop spreading your pheromones, too.”

Taking advantage of the moment the strength in Kanghyun’s arms loosened, Seowon pushed him. Having retreated more readily than expected, Kanghyun caught Seowon’s shoulders as he lightly stumbled.

“I’m not in a state where I need to be supported. I’m fine.”

His unusually kind attitude was awkward. Does he really like me? Sincerely? Even though it could just be a means to coax Seowon, who was hardly ever caught in his grasp, Seowon couldn’t help his heart wavering.

“You’re being pointlessly kind.”

“I think so too.”

“Then you can just stop doing it.”

Baek Kanghyun did not answer.

They left the emergency stairs and got into the elevator. When Seowon tried to press the button for the 1st floor, Kanghyun brushed his hand away and pressed the Basement 2 button. Naturally annoyed that he was trying to go to his own car, Seowon pressed the 1st floor again, but Baek Kanghyun quickly turned it off again.

Sigh, Seowon let out a breath and glared at him. His body, where the energy of the Alpha pheromones had not yet faded, felt heavy. Seowon leaned against the wall with a “whatever happens, happens” attitude.

“Just… go to my house. Not your house, Team Leader, but my house.”

“Your house?”

“Yes. Or we can just talk in the car.”

Seowon got into the car. Without even putting the destination into the navigation, Baek Kanghyun started the car. Seowon wondered if he was even listening to him, but looking at the direction, it wasn’t toward Baek Kanghyun’s house.

“Are you really going to my house?”

“You told me to go, didn’t you?”

“I did, but I didn’t think you would actually go.”

“Has it been a long time?”

“Pardon? Ah… yes, I suppose it has.”

Suddenly, the day Baek Kanghyun was appointed as Team Leader came to mind. He had insisted on taking Seowon home despite his persistent refusals. It was because of the pheromones, but thinking about it now, he wondered if that had just been a plausible excuse.

<You aren’t exactly my type, anyway.>

Baek Kanghyun had said that back then to Seowon, who had even opened the window because the pheromones were bothering him. The emotions of that time, when he had writhed in shame and humiliation, came back vividly.

“You said… I wasn’t your type. Back then.”

“….”

“But how did it end up like this? Between you and me, Team Leader.”

Seowon smiled bitterly. How did he end up entangled with him? Seven years ago, and now again.

The street, filled with bright red brake lights, was just like Seowon’s inner feelings. Red and complicated. Considering what he had suffered in the past, he should hate this man, but just because it seemed the man had feelings for him, because he was acting kindly toward him, a spring breeze seemed to be seeping into his heart.

Just like when he first met Baek Kanghyun seven years ago.

And then, Baek Kanghyun’s words were added to that.

“That was a lie.”

“What?”

“The part about you not being my type. It was a lie.”

After driving on and on, they were suddenly near the house. Baek Kanghyun skillfully wedged the car into the narrow alley in front of the villa where Seowon lived and turned off the engine. He should get out now, but his body didn’t move easily. He remembered that the man had said he had something to say, and Seowon also had things he wanted to ask him.

“….”

When their eyes met, the man smiled faintly. It wasn’t a smirk.

“You said you had something to tell me.”

Despite the question seeking an answer, he said nothing. He only looked at Seowon while leaning his head against the headrest.

Not just today, but lately, he had been very strange. Ever since he had made the proposal for Seowon to be his secretary, he had been acting like a different person.

“Well, I forgot.”

He sends warm gazes and tells ridiculous lies. Then, he subtly avoids Seowon’s eyes. It was clear he had something to say, yet he wouldn’t open his mouth.

“Then, I’ll head inside.”

But Seowon didn’t ask what he was hiding. Even if the words he wanted to say were an expression of affection for him, Seowon felt it would be useless. Because nothing would change because of that.

“Are you really going in?”

Regret was dripping from his voice. Seowon wanted to get out coldly, saying he would, but his soft nature stopped him. Today, throwing a fit about quitting was the first and best Seowon could do. Seowon found this Baek Kanghyun, who no longer acted as he pleased, very difficult.

While Seowon hesitated, the man went a step further and held his hand as if begging, fiddling with the bones on the back of his hand. They were people who had gone as far as kissing and sex. Holding hands was surely a trivial bit of skinship, but Seowon found the held hands so awkward that he thought sex would be better.

To the point where he couldn’t even lift his head.

“I have to go in. I can’t stay here forever.”

He subtly pulled his hand away. Then, he quickly hid his curled hand inside his coat pocket. Kanghyun, who clenched and unclenched his fingers as if disappointed, tapped the steering wheel.

“That wouldn’t be so bad either.”

Pffft, his lips curled with a light leak of laughter. Since he had such a handsome face to begin with, when a smile was added to it, Seowon’s gaze fixed there automatically.

Startled by himself for staring blankly at him, Seowon hurriedly pulled the door handle. Clack, at the sound of the door opening, relief and a strange sense of disappointment washed over him at the same time.

‘Disappointment? My god.’

Even while being on guard against him, even while being unable to believe the fact that he might like him, Seowon hoped he would show more lingering regret toward him. He wanted to see the man he once loved desperately acting soft because he liked him so much. What would it be like to hear affectionate words from him, telling him not to go and to stay with him a little longer?

At the very least, he didn’t think it would be terrible or uncomfortable.

He had heard that love is something given and received. Even though it was seven years ago, Seowon had given him plenty of his love, so he tried to insist that it was now time for him to receive some. Even with plenty of accumulated interest added on. Even if the two of them weren’t in a relationship where such a thing was appropriate.

…After being treated like that in the past, it seemed he had lost his mind.