NAME 32

I feel good…

My body was sticky and unpleasant, as if I had been doused in half-eaten ice cream, but the scent drifting past the tip of my nose and into my nasal cavity was nothing but refreshing. Due to the pleasure that occasionally pierced through the inside of my head, it felt as if my breath was hitching and my heart was stopping, yet I wished this time would never end. The instinct to receive more of this pheromone, and for longer, glittered in my eyes.

“Do you like it?”

“Mm-hmm,” Seowon nodded his head vigorously in affirmation. He trembled slightly at the pleasure that arrived with another round of release, then closed his eyes again. As something warm spread through his abdomen, his consciousness gradually began to drift downward. Seowon did not bother to stop it and simply let go of his senses.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Seven years ago, after ending his relationship with Baek Kanghyun, Seowon suffered from nightmares every night for a very long time. The person in his dreams was not much different from reality. The power digging into his back was terrifyingly fierce, yet the voice whispering in his ear was so sweet that Seowon struggled, wavering even in his dreams. After agonizing over which side was sincere, all that remained were tears.

When the painful night passed and morning came, Seowon lived his daily life as usual. After spending a busy day pretending nothing was wrong and throwing himself onto his bed, his wounded ego would torment him again in the form of dreams.

‘You idiot, did you really not know? That sunbae just used you!’

‘Actually, didn’t you know from the start? You just pretended not to.’

‘What is so good about a guy like that that you’re still struggling? Such a fool.’

At first, he hated Baek Kanghyun. However, as time went by, the loathing toward himself grew larger than the hatred for him. It was a relationship that could have been severed at any time, but because of that lingering attachment, he dragged the relationship out only to meet a miserable end.

If he hadn’t overheard that conversation that day… if he hadn’t asked him if he even knew his name, Seowon would not have been able to liquidate his relationship with him, which was neither one thing nor the other. Until he graduated from college—no, for a long time after that.

At the same time, he had the foolish thought that if he had seen him for that long, surely even Baek Kanghyun would have remembered the three syllables of his name. In any case, that damn “what if” was the problem. Vain and foolish assumptions pecked at Seowon sharply.

Whenever he happened to run into him on campus, his heart felt heavy. Heavy enough that he felt living was a burden. So, fearing he might have useless thoughts, he filled his schedule to the brim with everything from schoolwork to part-time jobs and extracurricular activities. He lived diligently, believing in the one-line piece of advice that time is the medicine for a breakup.

And now, the matters with Baek Kanghyun had all become things of the past. Thus, he had become able to console himself that what happened with him was merely a bitter life experience, but then, he reappeared in Seowon’s life. It would have been better if they had just lived while working, but Baek Kanghyun shook Seowon’s peaceful daily life.

No, saying it was “peaceful” was incorrect. Since manifesting as an omega, peace had become a story from a different country for Seowon. Suppressants didn’t work well, and his clumsy pheromone gland would go crazy at any given moment. Still, it was all bearable. As long as he kept the string of tension moderately tight, it was a life worth living.

“Ugh… .”

But how was it now? It hadn’t even been a few months since Baek Kanghyun appeared in Seowon’s life, yet Seowon’s daily routine was already on the verge of total destruction. Because he didn’t want to get entangled with him and avoided him diligently, Baek Kanghyun instead provoked Seowon. It was uncomfortable, and on the other hand, frightening, that a man who had regarded him as insignificant in the past was now showing interest in him.

It wasn’t Baek Kanghyun that he was afraid of. The one he feared was none other than himself.

Fearing that he might come to like Baek Kanghyun again, like the foolish sophomore Jeong Seowon at Korea University in the past.

He thought he had erased all feelings for him, but it was a misjudgment. He hadn’t erased them; he had merely buried them far away. If he had no feelings left for him, he wouldn’t have intentionally avoided him or kept him at a distance. He would have treated him dryly as just a boss at work.

But Seowon couldn’t do that. He even kissed him and pressed their private parts together. Even if it was an act driven by pheromones, and even if it was something that occurred in a situation without reason, Seowon could not say with confidence that his own will was not involved in the acts he performed with him.

“I’m going to die… .”

The intense pain weighing down his entire body forced Seowon awake. It was so painful that it would be faster to find a place that didn’t hurt than to find a place that did. As if several nerves that allowed his limbs to move had been severed, his arms and legs wouldn’t budge, and twitching a few fingers was all he could do.

He managed to lift his eyelids, which were not opening easily as if they were elaborately glued together with adhesive, only to close them again. His throat was burning and stinging, and his mouth was so dry it felt like he was holding sand.

What happened to me? What went on?

He could only tell that the place where he was lying was his house. While past events were vivid, he couldn’t remember much of what happened after he took the heat cycle suppressant. His head felt heavy, as if he had woken up suffering from a terrible hangover.

“Ugh… .”

After groaning for a long time, he barely curled his body up. Ignoring the screams coming from every joint, he loosened his stiff body. However, he felt an unusual sensation in his lower body. A wet, squelchy… very dangerous sensation.

“…!”

Realizing that the place where the suspicious feeling arose was between his legs, “there,” Seowon jerked upright. The blanket that had been covering his body, which wasn’t wearing a single thread, slid down. At the same time, Seowon’s body, which bore the vivid traces of last night, was revealed.

His body, covered in bright red marks and numerous bite marks, looked unsightly, like a roughly sewn stuffed doll. Furthermore, something thick was squeezing out from between his buttocks and soaking into the sheet.

Startled, Seowon tried to get up, but his legs lost their strength and he ended up tumbling to the floor.

Thump!

It hurt so much that a scream wouldn’t even come out. He groaned for a long time while pinned to the floor before finally pulling himself together. He must have bitten the inside of his mouth when he fell, as he distinctly tasted blood. It was unpleasant, but thanks to that, his mind became much clearer.

Seowon sat on the floor and examined the space surrounding him. First of all, it was definitely his house, but for some reason, it felt unfamiliar. The first thing that caught his eye was his clothing, which was strewn far away in a disastrous state. And then, there was even the figure of someone sitting in a chair past the dining table.

“This is crazy… .”

Seowon covered his mouth and shook his head. Because he could not believe that the person in his house was, of all people, that man, he squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. However, nothing changed.

The man—that is, Baek Kanghyun—was still sitting in the dining chair, staring at Seowon. Everything was a mess, as if a hurricane had swept through his head. A shocking silence followed where neither of them opened their mouths.

“… .”

Gulp. The sound of Seowon swallowing his dry saliva echoed loudly. Unlike his own messy self, Baek Kanghyun’s appearance was very tidy. Although a few shirt buttons were missing, he was properly dressed, and his face was the same one Seowon knew. So, it couldn’t be that something had happened between that man and himself. It shouldn’t have… but the result told by the marks remaining on his body was far too obvious.

‘Oh my god.’

Seowon lowered his gaze to avoid his eyes. He felt the man walking toward him. It was a house he had obtained thinking it was reasonably large, but with Baek Kanghyun inside, it felt so narrow. Approaching Seowon in just two or three strides, the man held something out.

“Drink.”

It was a 500ml bottle of mineral water. Unopened. Because Seowon’s throat was so dry right now that it felt like it would make a rustling sound, he took it for now.

He tried to open the cap immediately, but it wouldn’t budge. After several attempts, he gave up and set it down beside him, and Baek Kanghyun took it and lightly twisted the cap. Crack. The plastic bottle, opened with a refreshing sound, was held out to Seowon. Without a word, Seowon took it and brought his lips to the opening. As the moderately lukewarm water began to moisten his lips, his thirst gradually subsided.

Gulp, gulp.

He emptied the bottle of water in one go and panted. He felt his mind was at least a bit clearer. Seowon set the empty plastic bottle down and wrapped himself in the blanket.

“You’re not asking what happened.”

His tone sounded as if he were begging him to ask. However, Seowon was no fool. Even while he was moistening his throat with water, his buttocks were constantly getting wet. Rather than just getting wet, it felt like what was pooled inside was coming out. There was no way he didn’t know what this sensation—the feeling of something flowing down his inner flesh and the tingling inside his abdomen—meant.

“Do I have to ask?”

The fragmented memories began to return one by one like a boomerang. The first thing that came to mind was the man’s voice.

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