NAME 25

Pound, pound!

“Ugh… ugh…”

I had drifted off to sleep for a moment. When I opened my eyes again, my vision was washed in bright yellow and wavering violently; my entire body felt hot, as if I had fallen into a pit of fire. My clothes clung clammily to my sweat-soaked skin. Specifically, my lower half felt sodden, as if I had just stepped out of a body of water.

What happened to me?

Only one thing came to mind through the hazy fog in my head: a desperate, agonizing thirst for Alpha pheromones.

Pound, pound, pound!

A blunt sound, like someone hammering on something, reached me from far away. My half-closed eyes landed on the front door. The sound was coming from the entrance of my own home. Someone was pounding on the door with all their might.

“Who… is it?”

Seowon barely reached the entryway by alternating between walking and crawling. He was trying to ask who it was, but the sound leaking from his mouth was far too small.

He managed to pull up his jelly-like, limp body and leaned against the wall. His fingertips trembled violently as he pressed the door lock buttons. As soon as the lock released, the door swung wide open.

“Who…?”

His tongue felt heavy, making his speech slurred. Who on earth could it be? Before he could even lift his head, he detected a familiar scent. There was no way that person could be here…

Seowon shook his head slowly and gradually raised his gaze. Amidst his dizzy vision, a pair of dark, deep eyes flashed. A nose and a sharp mouth, set between eyes harboring a crimson heat, were directed solely at him.

He felt as though he had seen him with this exact expression a very long time ago. Haaaa, Seowon let out a long sigh and moved his lips while staring at the uninvited guest, finally forcing out the words.

“Team… Leader?”

Baek Kanghyun, Seowon’s bastard.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

In an alleyway in front of Hankuk University where bars were clustered, a person approached Baek Kanghyun, who had just lit a cigarette. Wearing beige cotton pants, a green sweatshirt, and glasses perched on the tip of his nose, this was Hankuk University sophomore Jeong Seowon.

<I, I like you.>

Feeling that there might not be another chance if it wasn’t now, he fired off a confession the moment he stood before him. Seemingly flustered by the sudden confession attack, Baek Kanghyun stared at Seowon while holding the cigarette he had just lit.

<Ah, really? By the way, who were you again?>

<I’m also in Psychos. I’m in the same club as you, sunbae. I even took a liberal arts class with you…>

Seowon forced a smile. Even though he had expected the man might not know him, he couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment.

<Ah, right, I remember. But you… like me?>

<I’m sorry.>

Even to himself, an apology right after a confession felt pathetic. However, seeing him knit his brows after hearing the groundless confession, Seowon couldn’t help but seek forgiveness. There was no reason for him to welcome a confession from a junior who had merely brushed past him a few times in the club or in class. Still, Seowon wanted to convey his feelings.

<Don’t be sorry.>

Surprisingly, he had already wiped away his flustered look and stood leaning to one side while smoking his cigarette. It was that exact image that had made Seowon’s heart flutter for so long. In truth, to Seowon, who was blinded by love, everything Baek Kanghyun did looked cool. The way he tilted his glass, the way he held a cigarette in his mouth to light it, and even the way he listened to lectures.

In fact, from the first moment he saw him, he couldn’t take his eyes off him. His appearance was so surprisingly Seowon’s type that he wondered if such a wonderful person could even exist in the world. No, actually, Baek Kanghyun was everyone’s type. His face, his brains, his family background, and even his personality were all on an unreachable level; in terms of rank, he belonged to the celestial world.

His kindness was impartial to everyone, and that was why even a Beta like Seowon could enjoy his presence. Even so, it only amounted to him accepting a greeting or very rarely replying to a text…

His head knew he shouldn’t be greedy and that a person like Baek Kanghyun would never accept him, but his heart wouldn’t listen. He couldn’t help the way his gaze constantly followed him and his heart leaned toward him. Although he was so popular that rumors circulated about his dating partners changing frequently, twenty-one-year-old Seowon held a vague hope that a chance might come to him someday.

Crushing on Baek Kanghyun was similar to riding a roller coaster. You feel excited when you finally board the ride after a long wait, but fear sets in once it actually starts. And while climbing toward the highest point, your heart beats as if it will explode, and when the descent finally begins, you end up screaming for your life.

A dizziness where your body is on the ride but your heart feels like it has dropped to the ground. After racing mindlessly over the twisted rails, the amusement suddenly ends and you have to get off. And on the way out, you make a vow. I’ll never ride that again. But that vow doesn’t last long before it changes.

I want to ride it again.

Betas with exceptionally superior looks or fragrant Omegas held what was essentially an express ticket to Baek Kanghyun. They naturally always occupied the spots closest to him, and an ordinary Beta like Seowon had to wait a long time just to exchange words with him.

Words like, ‘Hello, sunbae.’

The reason he never missed the club drinking sessions even though he couldn’t drink well was because of the vague expectation that he might meet Baek Kanghyun. However, the drinking parties he attended were always overcrowded, so Seowon was never even given a chance to share a glass with him.

Since he already had a quiet personality and nothing particularly to boast about, Seowon ended up belonging to the group of people whose presence or absence didn’t really matter. Still, it was okay. Because Baek Kanghyun, who was naturally sociable and liked people, would occasionally strike up a conversation even with a leftover like Seowon.

At age twenty-one, while his fantasies were swelling, right around the start of the second semester of his sophomore year, Seowon confessed to Baek Kanghyun. To the man who seemed to not even know his face or name, he smiled as brightly as possible and conveyed his desperation, saying he liked him. He knew well how he—a Beta, not an Omega or a woman—would be perceived by him, but he did it anyway. In order to end a miserable one-year unrequited love, he needed the process of confessing and being rejected.

<Th-thank you for listening. I’ll be going now.>

Since the result of the confession was obvious without hearing it, Seowon bowed. By thanking him for allocating even a moment of his time, today’s confession was over, and the unrequited love he had kept burning for over a year was also over. But from behind the turned-around Seowon, an unbelievable voice was heard.

<You, what’s your name?>

Seowon turned back, wagging his tail like a puppy meeting a long-lost owner. And unaware that his eyes were sparkling, he spoke in an excited tone.

<It’s Jeong Seowon. Jeong, Seowon. The one who sends rabbit emojis every day, that’s me.>

<Ah… that rabbit.>

Seowon nodded his head vigorously like a bobblehead doll. He couldn’t believe the man remembered him. Letting out a chuckle, he stroked Seowon’s hair. To Seowon, who had his shoulders hunched up, he whispered in a sweet tone.

<I was just getting bored… want to go together?>

In the bars at the beginning of the semester, the atmosphere was reaching its peak. While everyone was so busy eating and drinking that they hadn’t noticed Baek Kanghyun stepping out to take a call, Seowon followed him out alone. And he waited for his call to end, eventually seizing the opportunity to be alone with him to fire off his confession.

<Go… together?>

<Yeah. If you want to drink more, go back inside.>

Seowon shook his head like a child. It was a drinking session he had come to only because he heard Baek Kanghyun was coming. Coming to an awkward spot where he didn’t have a single close friend was entirely for the purpose of seeing him. There was absolutely no reason for Seowon not to take the hand he offered.

That was the beginning. On the day he took Baek Kanghyun’s hand, Seowon shared his body with him. He had never imagined that he, a Beta, would be able to do it with him, but the man was skillful and also greedy.

<Ah, uugh…>

<Does it hurt? Is it your first time?>

The first experience was similar to unrequited love. It was frantic, frightening, and painful. But because he liked the man’s touch as he felt him up, and because he liked the very fact that they were skin-to-skin, he willingly decided to endure everything.

The sensation of his back being forced open was unfamiliar, and his body, receiving another person for the first time, cried out in pain. However, the rough groans pouring from Baek Kanghyun’s mouth and the drops of his sweat falling onto Seowon’s back became a painkiller for him.

<I like you.>

His confession, made while flushed with pleasure, was simply enchanting.

<I… like you too.>

So Seowon, even while sobbing in pain, did not stop his confession.