TEOCH 1

[My King.]

Atop an impossibly high staircase, seated on a throne that could only be glimpsed by craning one’s neck, a noble figure smiled.

Sunlight shattered into fragments, adorning his golden hair. The golden crown resting on his head seemed almost superfluous, for the king shone brilliantly on his own. With a gaze both gentle as an angel’s and impossibly distant, he looked down at me. Overwhelmed by dizziness, I bowed my head.

[Thank you. I am truly, deeply grateful to you.]

[…….]

[Without your strength, I could never have reclaimed my queen. To think you were summoned so abruptly from another world, thrown into confusion, yet still fought so tirelessly for me—words cannot fully express my gratitude.]

Beside the beautiful king stood an equally beautiful queen. Leaning her delicate frame against her beloved’s shoulder, her water-blue eyes sparkled with joy. She was hailed as the most beautiful person not only in the kingdom but in the entire human realm.

She was also the one a certain man had sworn eternal love to.

The queen’s beauty was so enchanting it captivated even creatures beyond humanity. From the depths of the abyss, where all the vileness and ugliness of the world were said to slumber, the Demon King desired her. Leading an army, he invaded the human world.

No matter how well-trained the kingdom’s army was, they were soldiers honed to fight humans. The otherworldly demons tore through their armor like toys and feasted on their flesh.

In the end, the king could only watch helplessly as his beloved was spirited away into the darkness. They say he declared he could not live without his one and only companion, that he would rather take up his sword and charge into the demon realm himself. It took his vassals three days and nights to dissuade him.

When an oracle proclaimed that the heavens would send a hero to defeat the Demon King, blanketing every temple in the land, a mysterious young man fell from the sky into the palace, as if struck by a bolt from a clear blue sky. They say the king knelt before this youth and begged him to bring back his queen. Such was the depth of his love, a pure devotion worth sacrificing his life for.

And that must be why. The reason I had no choice but to give up on my feelings for you.

[Whatever you desire, I will grant it. Be it honor, riches—nothing is too precious. If I could fully repay the debt I owe you, even this throne would not be too much to give.]

[Such things are not necessary to me.]

[Then do you wish to return to your original world? To the place where your kin and comrades await you?]

[…….]

What I want from you is the one emotion you can never give me. Swallowing the words that rose to my throat, I lifted my head.

The king met my gaze with a faint smile. His smile was, of course, dazzling, as befitting such a beautiful person. Yet, facing that smile, I felt a corner of my heart wither and crumble.

It’s different.

The smile this young, beautiful king showed his beloved and the one he gave to me—a stranger, albeit one who had done him a great service—were not the same.

[If that is all you desire, then so be it. Summon the court wizard! Let the hero who saved our kingdom return to his homeland to boast of his valor!]

Before the king could even call, an elderly court wizard came hobbling from afar. Without anyone telling me, realization dawned on me.

It’s finally over. This is the true ending. The king reclaims his queen, the hero returns home, and everyone dances in blissful happiness as this absurd game comes to an end.

[Thank you, Your Majesty. Truly, thank you.]

[It’s a pity to part like this. If there’s anything you wish to take with you, just name it. If it’s within my power to give, I’ll grant it.]

Then can you give me your heart? For me, who fought for you through thousands, tens of thousands of game overs, can you willingly offer me that heart? Shaking off the futile question, I turned my head.

The court wizard was using the Demon King’s heart, which I had brought, as a catalyst to create a passage to another dimension. One step beyond that gate, and I would return to my original world.

There, I am an ordinary office worker. I have a lover waiting for me, parents who worry about me. I’ll get used to it soon enough. I’ll quickly forget this third-rate roguelike game I downloaded from some shady site.

‘But.’

I looked up at the king again. He shrugged, as if to say anything was fine. Staring at his face, I tried to recall my parents’ faces. The wrinkles around their mouths, their reading glasses, the dark brown dye used to cover their graying hair. I could remember trivial details, but their actual features eluded me. The face of the lover I’d passionately dated for three years, my annoying younger sibling, even my coworkers—all the same.

I closed my eyes. “What’s wrong?” the king asked. I could easily imagine the troubled expression he must be wearing. Of course I could. The first thing I saw every time I started this game was his face. Those clear green eyes, reminiscent of a foreign sea, and that glossy, honeyed golden hair didn’t blur even when I closed my eyes. If anything, they became sharper.

[Will I ever be able to forget you?]

[What do you mean, Rohan? Are you unwell?]

My name isn’t Rohan. It’s Nowon. Park Nowon.

Instead of voicing the pointless words, I quietly opened my eyes. My heart, which had been pounding moments ago, had now completely calmed. I drew the dagger hidden in my sleeve. As I removed its ornate sheath, the cold blade gleamed in the sunlight.

[Rohan? What are you doing…?!]

[I don’t know. I don’t know if this is truly the right ending, or if I can truly accept it.]

[Put that blade down, now! What are you thinking?!]

There was clear panic in the king’s eyes, but not a trace of hostility in those clear pupils. That’s so like you. So foolishly kind and pure, never once suspecting anyone. If I were to throw this dagger and kill your beloved, what would you do, being so naive? Are you truly fit to be a king?

[You said you would give me anything, didn’t you?]

[Please, speak plainly. I don’t know what you want, but you don’t need to resort to force—I’ll give you whatever you ask!]

[Then give me a chance. A chance to start over.]

The dimensional passage created by the court wizard became fully clear. My left hand, holding the dagger, trembled uncontrollably, so I grabbed it with my right to steady it. The shaking subsided, if only slightly.

It’s fine. Nothing will change anyway. I’ll just start over from the beginning.

[Wait, I can’t understand what you’re saying…]

[It’s alright if you don’t understand. I don’t even understand myself, so how could Your Majesty possibly understand me?]

No matter how far I reach, it’s not an emotion I can touch. No matter how loudly I cry like a petulant child, it’s not a person who will fall into my hands. Yet I still can’t let go of this lingering attachment.

Pointing the blade at my own throat felt far less terrifying than stepping through that passage. Because if I did, I’d never see you again. Your beautiful eyes, your gentle voice—all of it would haunt my dreams for a while before fading like a mirage.

[So let’s try a few more times. It won’t be easy, of course, but at least I might be able to shake off this attachment. You’ll allow that much, won’t you? You said you’d give me anything I desire.]

[…….]

[It’s fine. I’ve already defeated the Demon King once. It took 28,632 deaths to achieve, but since I’ve killed him once, doing it a few more times shouldn’t be a problem. So rest assured, Your Majesty. I’ll bring back Her Majesty the Queen as many times as it takes—until my feelings are completely dead.]

I shut my eyes tightly. The cold metal touched my throat. Amidst the screams of “No!” and the sound of someone running toward me, I hoped it wasn’t the king. If you were the one to be splattered with the blood pouring from my throat, what could be more wretched than that? I don’t want your beautiful face stained red. So…

[Please, cooperate with me. Until I find the ‘true ending.’]

Let’s meet again in a new nightmare, Tristan. My King.

Without hesitation, I plunged the dagger into my throat. It was my first-ever ‘suicidal ending.’