NHL 76

While Dylan, feeling pathetic, busied himself cleaning up his lingering desires, Joeon—oblivious to the fact—was busy on the phone.

“Yeah, I’ll go. Where is the location?”

―I’ll send it to you now.

Joeon opened the messenger app where the call notification was displayed and checked the address Amy had shared.

“It’s near Riverside.”

―Yes, that’s right. I heard the owner of this bar used to be a member of Bobby Beavers. He’s too busy with business to do it anymore, but I heard he lets people perform there sometimes. It’s my first time going there, too.

“Is that so?”

―Bring your friends! I think everyone we know will be there that day. It’s also Bobby’s birthday.

Even knowing it was just a polite gesture, Joeon subconsciously thought of Dylan. However, he didn’t give a definitive answer. During the season, Dylan’s daily routine was entirely dictated by his game schedule. When there were away games, he would be out of the house for days at a time, and not only on evenings with home games but even on days without them, he was so dedicated to training and practice that he often came home late.

He was a busy man, unlike me, who was currently unemployed.

There was no way he could bring himself to ask such a person to go out and watch a live performance.

“I’ll go alone.”

―You might get bored.

“I’m fine on my own.”

Joeon laughed, brushing off the suggestion. Amy moved on from the topic of the performance and brought up the real reason for her call, saying she actually had a dilemma.

Letting Amy’s rather chatty preamble go in one ear and out the other, Joeon silently let his gaze follow Dylan, who appeared in a bathrobe with a dry towel draped over his wet hair.

Dylan went into the kitchen, pulled a can of beer from the fridge, and turned back to Joeon, lifting the can. Joeon hesitated before nodding.

―…And then, he suddenly suggested we go look at musical instruments together. But, you know, the nuance was strangely… you know what I mean, right?

“Ah, so it felt like a date.”

Joeon lowered his voice involuntarily. Over the phone, Amy asked back, “See, it sounded like that to you, too, right?” Joeon repeated “Yeah” and looked away from Dylan as he opened the can. More than anything, it was embarrassing to be seen talking in Korean. Dylan was staring straight at Joeon, almost as if he were observing him.

Joeon listened to Amy’s grumbling without really taking it in, absently rubbing his chin. Then, he hurriedly dropped his hand. The embarrassment he felt when Dylan’s hand had touched him earlier came back to him. It was a brief moment, but it was a touch that felt somewhat sexual.

Since the argument they’d had before he left for the West, their relationship had entered a new phase. When Dylan invited Joeon to be his roommate, he had clearly defined their relationship as friends. Joeon, too, had been acting as cautiously as possible whenever he dealt with Dylan to ensure he didn’t cross the line beyond being a roommate.

However, these days, it felt as though the boundaries were blurring. Like when Dylan naturally laid his head on Joeon’s thighs or lifted his chin, Dylan often exuded a strange atmosphere. Just like now.

Dylan, sitting across the table, popped open the beer can, held it out toward Joeon, and watched him quietly. Feeling the silent pressure, Joeon wrapped up the call in a low voice.

“If there’s something you’re curious about, I think it’s best to talk to the person in question.”

―I guess you’re right, huh? Sigh. Okay. Thanks for listening.

“It’s nothing, really. Have a good night then.”

―Yeah, you too.

As soon as he finished the call and set the phone on the table, Dylan tilted his head, the towel he’d been using to dry his hair still draped around his neck.

“Girlfriend?”

Joeon, who had been about to take his first sip, froze. Thoughts intersected in his head so complexly that he didn’t know where to start.

Why did he assume the caller was a ‘girlfriend’? If he really did have a girlfriend, was he asking because he was confident he’d be fine if he heard ‘yes’? Was he asking because he was in the same boat? And what kind of audacity allowed him to mention the word ‘girlfriend’ so casually, as if it were just passing chatter, when their shared past hadn’t just vanished? He had more questions of his own. He just couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth, terrified of the answers.

“I thought I heard the word ‘date’.”

Joeon looked up and met Dylan’s eyes. He imagined he must have been looking rather fierce right now. He also anticipated that if Dylan had a complaint about it, there would be another argument between them.

But ironically, Dylan’s gaze was colder and more piercing, causing his confidence to wither on its own.

“It was dating advice.”

“Ah, I see.”

The light answer sounded indifferent and dry, as if he didn’t care at all.

“Aaron likes Amy. Ah, Aaron is Maya’s son. It seems Aaron spoke to Amy in a way that sounded like he was asking her out on a date. Amy seemed to want to confirm with me if she was misunderstanding the situation.”

Explaining the details of his call with Amy felt like an excuse for some reason. Who was the one who needed to be making excuses? But Dylan didn’t seem particularly interested. That hurt his pride even more, so Joeon stopped explaining and drank his beer while looking out at the night view.

The city’s nightscape was beautiful, as if stars had been spilled across a black canvas. As he counted the tall, towering buildings, his eyes landed on another figure reflected in the dark window. It felt as if he were appreciating the glittering city, or perhaps appreciating the reflection of Joeon’s face in the window, just like him. For a split second, he thought their eyes met.

Forget it. Why bring up something that’s already passed?

Joeon lowered his head to the can in his hand, then pretended to look at the laptop screen on the table while stealing glances at Dylan’s profile. Moonlight cast shadows, making the contours of his face deeper. The usual bright and warm atmosphere was gone, and he now gave off a somewhat cold and exhausted impression.

For a while, only the sound of sipping cans could be heard in the dining room. To dispel the awkward silence, Joeon repeatedly typed and deleted characters on the keyboard for no reason. The screen listed questions that often appeared in interviews, along with the answers Joeon had written in his own style. When the sound of typing continued, Dylan finally showed interest.

“Is that a resume?”

“Interview prep questions and answers. I got a call earlier asking me to come in for an interview.”

“A call?”

“I took out the phone I used a few years ago and put in a prepaid SIM card. It’s too slow to use for anything other than calls, though. I’m only using a temporary number while I’m job hunting, and then I’ll get rid of it. I’m just glad I don’t have to worry about getting spam calls.”

Joeon stopped typing and glanced at the screen of the phone lying on the table. It was his original one.

“The one I used before can’t make calls, but there’s good Wi-Fi everywhere I go, so it’s not really inconvenient. It feels like traveling without roaming.”

“Still, it’s going to be a hassle to carry two of them around.”

“That it is.”

Talking about the phones made it feel like they were having a normal conversation, just like before. At least, until Dylan added his final comment.

“It would have been better if you hadn’t thought about staying away for so long, though.”

Joeon narrowed his brows and looked at Dylan.

“Because it was a special occasion.”

“What did you plan to do when you went?”

“…”

He scrambled to find something to say, but nothing came to mind.

“You had no plans at all?”

“…Just.”

What kind of plans could there be for a trip to avoid reality? Joeon had only vaguely imagined that if he returned to the environment where he was born and raised, the suffocating feeling—like wearing heavy shackles—would be relieved.

Was it a foolish thought after all? Dylan must see it that way, too, he thought, self-derisively, and looked up. Dylan’s eyes didn’t look particularly disappointed or condescending. They held no judgment or emotion. Dylan was simply waiting calmly for Joeon’s answer.