NHL 15

“Wait, it’s too loud.”

Whether he heard the mumbled words or not, the volume was immediately reduced. The music, which did not have proper lyrics, was composed solely of electric guitar. To Joeon’s untrained ears, no matter how much he listened, he could not tell where the first verse was and where the second was. However, Joeon relaxed his body as he looked at Aaron’s tense face, as if he were waiting for a judge’s evaluation.

“Your skills have improved a lot. The sounds have become more diverse. Though I don’t know much about it. And the melody, at this level…”

At that, Aaron could be seen looking pleased. Joeon, who had been timing it, finally took off the headphones.

“I got inspired while playing a game the other day and made it. I thought it would be good to have this kind of feel for the BGM. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a game, wouldn’t it be okay for a movie too? I’m very interested in that field.”

“Well…”

Joeon, being an outsider, saved his words. He could not give some trivial advice on a genre he knew nothing about.

“I thought you gave up music when you said you were going to college, but I guess that’s not the case.”

“Of course not. It’s the opposite. I’m going to move out when I enter college. Then I can make music more freely. My mom wants me to play hymns at church. Can you believe it?”

Joeon absurdly imagined Aaron in a priest’s robes and thought that externally, it would suit him quite well. But he did not say it out loud.

He was a good kid, to the point that it was ironic that he had not run away and gone astray by now, even though he was old enough to have done so long ago. Unlike his musical taste, Aaron was naturally good-natured and did not have the drive to do anything that would break Maya and Tony’s hearts.

“I couldn’t match schedules with my previous band members, so I found a new band. But they’re all working adults. They all give me a lot of good advice. So I’m learning a lot from them too.”

When the story of his previous members came up, the corners of Joeon’s mouth, which had been faintly smiling, hardened. Aaron did not notice Joeon’s change and continued talking excitedly.

“They’re all really mature people. I thought I didn’t want to live a life of getting a job like everyone else and spending every day the same, but those people are consistently doing what they love within that, and they’re also very skilled. They have a channel too, so they’re always doing live streams online. Right, did I send you the address? I’ll share it now. For your information, they don’t upload the live videos. Cool, right?”

Aaron muttered as he tapped on his phone with one hand. Maya and Tony did not approve of the music Aaron was making, but it seemed certain that at least the new members were having a healthy influence on Aaron.

And this was a relief for Joeon as well. Because the members Aaron used to hang out with were of quite bad quality.

“Oh, right, there’s a Korean girl in our team too. She does all the video-related stuff.”

“A girl?”

Joeon’s ears perked up. Aaron, who was about to introduce the channel, suddenly looked up and saw Joeon smiling at him.

“What? We’re nothing!”

“I didn’t say anything.”

Aaron, as if at a loss for words, mumbled and then shook his head with an awkward smile, wrapping up the conversation.

“Anyway, be sure to come see our performance next time. Oh, right, you can use that room over there.”

“Okay.”

The room Aaron pointed to was a semi-basement room with a small window, so it did not get much sun and was the smallest room in the house. Nevertheless, when he opened the door, a wave of warmth washed over him. It was thanks to Maya and Tony having cranked up the heating.

It seemed that Tony had cleaned the room before Joeon arrived, as the king-sized bed that filled the room and the carpet were neatly arranged.

After opening the old wardrobe, organizing his coat, and tossing his bag aside, Joeon climbed onto the considerably high bed as if he were ascending it and flopped down on his back.

The music that had been ringing in his eardrums was gone, and only a quiet silence remained. It was not even a genre he liked, but he felt an emptiness in his ears. Like the loneliness that suddenly finds you the moment the warmth of the host family’s welcome, as warm as the heat that filled the room, fades, Joeon was afraid of the anxiety that he did not know when it would suddenly pop out and swallow him up in the peaceful silence.

The anxiety that had started from the time he set foot on this land, as if he had been kicked out due to family circumstances, frequently visited the young Joeon and tormented him.

He suffered from insomnia even though he received an undeserved amount of affection in someone else’s family, which was as awkward as someone else’s festival, and there were times when he would suddenly wake up from his sleep as if having a seizure. There were also many times when, for no reason at all, his breath would catch in his throat as if someone were choking him, and he would have difficulty breathing. Strangely, this anxiety gradually disappeared after he entered university.

It was only after he became completely alone that he realized it. Where his place was.

Perhaps because of that, this house, which he only visited once a year, did not really feel like his own home. It was just a place he occasionally visited for the sake of Maya’s family, who were full of affection and had warm hearts.

But now, he did not get sentimental and wipe away tears of loneliness. It had been a long time since his tear ducts had dried up with the passage of time. To escape from his thoughts, Joeon 괜히 fiddled with his phone. Then, he suddenly thought of Dylan.

A person who could call this place home, and call it his hometown. Did the余裕 to readily share affection even with a stranger stem from that?

When he searched, there were no scheduled games for the time being. It was because they were taking a break during the Christmas holidays. Then he would be enjoying a party at his family’s house, which was said to be in Midtown.

Knock, knock. Simultaneously with the sound of knocking on the door, Joeon sat up.

“John, I’m going to prepare dinner, would you mind playing with Ben in the meantime?”

“Sure.”

It was his turn to go and do his duty.

From the kitchen, the sound of Maya preparing the starter could be heard. After drizzling olive oil on a pan and sautéing garlic, she threw in some large black tiger prawns, and a fragrant smell spread throughout the house.

Tony came back through the back door connected to the kitchen, holding a cat in his arms.

“Oh, dear. Isabella! Can’t you keep a better eye on Niña so she doesn’t leave the house!”

“Where did she go?”

“I caught her slipping out the back door while I was getting firewood.”

“Niña is fat and lazy anyway, so she won’t go far.”

Despite Tony’s scolding, Isabella shrugged her shoulders with an indifferent attitude and took the chubby cat, Niña.

Niña was originally a stray cat who often appeared in the neighborhood. After Maya fed her a few times, she started to settle in front of the back door whenever she was hungry and would cry until she was fed.

That was how the bond between the two… no, one person and one cat, began, and they became a family. Perhaps because stray cats were not common in the neighborhood, even though Joeon had watched the whole process, it still felt strange to him now. It made him reflect on what a connection really is.

“But do you have firewood? Why?”

Joeon, who was sitting on the carpet, which had been specially chosen in colors that suited Christmas, and playing with toys with Ben, asked. Tony glanced at the two of them and then pointed to the backyard with his hand.

“Curious? Want to go see?”

Ben and Joeon turned their heads and met each other’s eyes. Soon, a naive smile spread across Ben’s baby-like face.

“I want to see!”

Joeon picked up Ben and approached the back door. The two of them pressed their faces against the small window on the back door and carefully observed the backyard, which was shrouded in pitch-black darkness. Unfortunately, they could not see anything properly.

“Do you see over there? I’ve made a place for a campfire by surrounding it with bricks in the middle, and I’ve gathered firewood inside. Let’s light a bonfire later and roast marshmallows.”

“Okay.”

Although he was worried about the cold… the winter’s chill seemed to be nothing to the father and son with shining eyes. Joeon just laughed.

The morning sunlight burst through the small window, which was as small as a laptop screen. Joeon tossed and turned, pressing his throbbing head with his palm.

Last night, at Tony’s suggestion, he had had a drink with a boarder he had never seen before and the aftermath of his overindulgence was tormenting him until the morning.

He let out a pained groan and was about to check the time when he saw that several messages had arrived on his phone. They were Christmas greetings from colleagues and old university classmates.

“…It’s Christmas today.”

His mumbling voice was cracked from dryness. Looking at the time, it seemed he had definitely not woken up early. A slight smile unknowingly crept onto Joeon’s lips as he sent back greetings in reply.

‘I think I’ve sent them to everyone I need to.’

Joeon, who was checking the messenger window with his eyes like that, impulsively pressed Dylan’s name.

“…It’s Christmas, after all.”

Then, he moved his fingers slowly and completed the message. Even though it was a message he had sent countless times like a machine, he could not relax his tension until he pressed the send button.

「Merry Christmas」

However, the message Joeon sent was not read even by the time Maya’s family returned from church and had lunch together.

‘Was calling me a friend just a polite gesture after all?’

Perhaps the wound to his pride from being rejected had not yet healed. If not that, then he might have already started pouring his gentle attention onto someone else.

No, no. He’s with his family, so maybe he’s trying to focus on that. Yes. That’s more likely. It’s a major holiday, after all.

It was around the time when Joeon was going back and forth like that, continuing his groundless suspicions and defenses. The phone vibrated, signaling the arrival of a message. Joeon hurriedly checked the reply that he thought would be from Dylan.

「Hi, John.」

「I heard from Aaron.」

Joeon furrowed his brow. The sender of the reply was not the person he was waiting for.

「You’re back home?」

「Can we meet?」

「No.」

「Are you still mad about what happened back then?」

「No.」

「It seems like it.」

「I just wanted to say hi」

「It’s Christmas?!」

I guess not all contact on Christmas is good. The holiday is equal to trash as well. Joeon did not reply and blocked him.

His name was Sergio, and he was one of the band members Aaron had brought over last Christmas. It could be said that he was the one with the worst quality among that group.

“Well, he won’t come looking for me.”

He wanted to believe that, but Sergio was a guy who was fully capable of coming to find him. It was because he had a strong sense of self-love and an arrogant personality, where he felt at ease only when he could boss people around as he pleased rather than being considerate of them.

Last Christmas too, he had been drunk and had shown his misguided sociability without hesitation. It was common for him to mix profanity into every other word, and the smell of marijuana that permeated his body was, above all, extremely unpleasant.

His influence was also a big part of why Maya and Tony disliked the music Aaron made. In fact, they disliked the friends he hung out with more than the music he made.