MORE 43

“Hyung, aren’t we tightly bonded by blood? Are you really going to let your younger brother starve? Hyung, I really don’t have a single penny. If I’m like this, I can’t even go on a date. Do you want your only younger brother to spend a lonely and miserable Christmas alone when it’s overflowing with couples?”

“Aha.”

Woo Hyunse replied in a dry tone. Even though it was a response completely devoid of interest, Woo Taeju spoke with such desperation, even placing a hand over his chest like an actor in front of an audience.

“I need to be a couple too, you know. If I keep living like this and die alone, what will you do if our hyung is sad? Imagine your only younger brother dying alone in a tiny rented room. How tragic is that? It’ll even end up on the news.”

“You’re great at spewing bullshit. Bark more.”

Though he realized the moment he started groveling, Woo Hyunse watched his brother’s coaxing for fun. Left to his own devices, he shook his thick upper body side to side and made a ‘e-ing’ sound, acting like a madman. This one was a bit hair-raising. About the same level as seeing a zombie pop out without warning in a B-grade horror movie. Fuck, Woo Hyunse cursed with genuine sincerity.

“Pay it back.”

“Money transactions between us are…. I will pay you back with love.”

“Bullshit.”

Even while cursing, Woo Hyunse generously deposited pocket money into Woo Taeju’s account. Regardless of this or that, he was a cousin he didn’t have many reasons to hate. After checking his account, Woo Taeju lunged over the table as if to shower Woo Hyunse with kisses. Woo Hyunse kept a straight face and pushed his head away firmly.

“Oh right, hyung, did you meet Seohee noona?”

Woo Taeju, who was sitting on the wooden porch putting on his shoes, lifted his head. He wore his limited-edition sneakers well for outings. No wonder his card limit got exceeded so fast. Kwon Siyul, who must be at home by now—who would look at the price tag first and be surprised like a stray cat that had met a large dog whenever he tried to buy him something—inevitably came to mind.

“Seohee?”

It was a name he was hearing for the first time. Even if he carefully retraced his steps through people from his past, no one with that name came to mind. Watching Woo Hyunse look like that, Woo Taeju opened his eyes wide, asking if he truly didn’t know.

“In Seohee. You don’t even know your fiancée’s name?”

“I’ve never been engaged.”

He had never met her, nor had he even heard her name. Yet Woo Taeju knew. It was a story that the rumors had already spread, or that the well-connected Woo Taeju had picked up somewhere.

“Well, you’re going to do it soon, anyway. That noona is fine. She has a good personality, too.”

“……”

It was inside a restaurant, so he couldn’t smoke. Woo Hyunse pulled out a cigarette pack, but put it back. His mouth felt stale.

“Ah, she has a lover.”

As if it had just occurred to him, Woo Taeju added. He certainly knew a lot of information about an engaged woman whose face he didn’t even know.

“But well, why would you care about something like that, hyung?”

Having revealed someone else’s private life so nonchalantly, Woo Taeju laughed brightly. He was a face that cared not at all about what he had said or what impact it might have. To Woo Taeju, the fact that Woo Hyunse was going to be engaged and that the fiancée had a lover were just pieces of gossip to bring up once and then forget.

On the other hand, Woo Hyunse refrained from speaking. A single word of his could travel through Woo Taeju’s mouth to his uncle, and then to the ears of the old man.

He sent Woo Taeju off in a taxi. Woo Hyunse walked out of the restaurant gate, followed the wall, and bit down on a cigarette.

Whether one wants it or not, time flows on. He exhaled the hazy smoke and looked up at the sky. Dark clouds were thickly gathered as if a heavy snow were about to come.

■ ■ ■

He could see the snow falling outside the window. Even just when he had entered this shop, it had been raining heavily, but the day had passed that quickly. The pages of the calendar had flipped over effortlessly, too. It was already the beginning of the last month of the year.

Siyul stopped cleaning for a moment to watch the snowy scenery. It was sleet. Even when it hit the road, it scattered like flour in the blowing wind.

Unlike today, the first snow had been heavy, fluffy flakes. Siyul had greeted the first snow at Woo Hyunse’s house while bundled up in a blanket.

Siyul had aimlessly settled into Woo Hyunse’s house. Rather than crawling in on his own two feet, it was that Woo Hyunse wouldn’t let him go back. He had tried several times to return, feeling awkward about living as a free-loading houseguest, but he had never succeeded once. Woo Hyunse strongly argued that the shop was much closer from here and that all daily necessities were already provided.

He had tried to go to the inn, saying he at least needed to bring clothes to wear for work, but Woo Hyunse had put Siyul in his car, promising to drive him, and headed to a shop instead of the inn. He had received dozens of clothes that day, and he had received that many again since.

‘Just winter clothes for now.’

He had refused, feeling like he was falling into debt, but Woo Hyunse had deliberately ripped all the tags off the clothes in front of Siyul’s eyes as if to show him. Because he had effectively stamped them so they couldn’t be refunded, Siyul had to take on those clothes with tears in his eyes, swallowing his pride.

‘I still haven’t even paid you back for the shoes.’

‘If you’re really bothered, then pay me back with….’

‘Yes?’

He had missed the middle word and asked again, but Woo Hyunse had only grinned mischievously. In the end, the wardrobe in the room Woo Hyunse had given him was filled with new clothes one after another: padding, coats, trousers, tops, and the hoodies Siyul loved. They were all expensive brands that would be hard to pay back until Siyul won the lottery.

He hadn’t even paid back the shoes yet, but more had piled up on top of them like fallen leaves. In fact, he had offered to pay back the shoe money earlier, but Woo Hyunse had refused. Compared to the past when he said he didn’t trust him, saying he might run away without paying his debt, it was a very fresh change of pace.

The house was large, so his room had an attached bathroom. However, they almost always slept together. Even if he was clearly in his room’s bed when he closed his eyes, when he opened them, he was on Woo Hyunse’s bed. He had suspected he had sleepwalking, but Woo Hyunse had quite confidently—

‘I moved you while you were asleep.’

He had confessed, and that was how he found out the truth. When he asked why he didn’t just let him sleep in his own room—

‘Because it’s winter and it’s cold.’

Wasn’t that an absurd answer? It was an unreasonable excuse, considering they lived warm enough to wear short sleeves indoors.

Woo Hyunse’s working hours were inconsistent. Some days he went out early and came back early, other days he went out late and came back late. Siyul didn’t ask on purpose what kind of work he did. He had a rough guess. Hadn’t he experienced it himself where and how their first meeting happened?

‘I have two days off next week, shall we go somewhere for fun?’

Siyul, who had been lying on the sofa with his head on Woo Hyunse’s lap watching TV, lifted his head brightly. He was just starting to get a little tired of the daily routine of only going between the shop and home. He even lifted his upper body to look at Woo Hyunse. His two eyes were shining with expectation.

‘Where to?’

‘Let’s see. Where do you want to go?’

‘Um…. Ah, how about the sea? I want to see the sea.’

The memory of going with Kwon Yuwon after the college entrance exams was his last. Even then, the weather was cloudy, so the seawater hadn’t been as blue as he had hoped. He wanted to see the rolling blue waves he had only seen in videos with his own two eyes.

‘Okay.’

Woo Hyunse smiled broadly and brushed Siyul’s bangs back. Now, such contact was as natural as flowing water. Even when sleeping, they slept stuck together like one body. Even if he turned to lie on his side, he would eventually roll into Woo Hyunse’s arms while sleeping, or a warm, firm chest would touch his back.

“…”

There was no one watching, but his cheeks felt hot and flushed for no reason. Siyul chuckled, then checked his surroundings and smoothed out his expression.

Seeing the snow, he was reminded of old memories of running around in front of the orphanage, and Kwon Yuwon, who was never missing from any memory. How many days had it been since he had seen him? Siyul counted the days gone by with his fingers, rested his chin on the handle of the broom, and let out a heavy sigh.

Correspondence with Kwon Yuwon continued sporadically. If Siyul sent a text early in the morning, a reply would arrive only once at dawn or late in the evening. He still wouldn’t answer his phone. He said he was too busy looking around here and there and looking for a job to have time.

Hearing that he was looking for a job, Siyul was at least relieved. In truth, he was still half-doubting. He wondered if perhaps he had accepted the Pig’s proposal and left far away, or if he was in danger. Kwon Yuwon was the only one who knew the answer, but instead of being able to see his face, it was difficult to even have a phone conversation. Naturally, he could only be in the dark.

Siyul read the text Kwon Yuwon had sent one more time to soothe his anxiety. He was smart and capable, so he would escape well no matter what crisis he faced, but….

…It must just be needless worry.

He would do well on his own, for sure; this level of useless worrying was a sickness. Siyul shook his head and pulled his gaze away from the window. He busily swept the floor with the broom, erasing the stray thoughts that filled his mind one by one.

When shall we meet I’m free anytime Let me know when is good for you hyung, I’ll take a self-study day

Woo Taeju sent texts whenever he had a spare moment. If he was busy with work and kept his phone away for a moment, ten or twenty messages would be piled up later. There were trivial updates like whether he’d eaten, where he was, and what he’d done, interspersed with things like coffee gift certificates.

When he told him not to send things like this, he was stubborn, saying he just sent them because he thought of hyung, and that they should have a cup of coffee with this coupon next time they met.

He should meet him at least once.

In Siyul’s world, the only person he could call a friend was Kwon Yuwon. Having gone through elementary, middle, and high school, as well as the orphanage, he had met people who could be called friends, but Kwon Yuwon, who was like a brother to him, was the only one with whom he had maintained contact until now.

But that Kwon Yuwon was not by his side. Woo Hyunse was there, but he was certainly not a friend. The world was wide, but from Siyul’s conservative perspective, one could not call a relationship where they shared their bodies ‘friends.’

It just so happened to be his day off. Woo Hyunse had left early in the morning saying he had work. He said he would return late at night. For the first time in a very long time, he was alone and free.

He was lazing about on the sofa playing a mobile game when his phone rang. Thinking it would be Woo Hyunse, he even paused the game for a moment and checked, but it was Taeju, whose surname was the same as Woo Hyunse’s.