MORE 25

“At first, I thought I was going to die from the pain. I really wanted to beat them up.”

“Right? Knotting is really painful if you experience it for the first time.”

“But after experiencing it continuously, I got used to it. Now, if there’s no knotting, I don’t really feel much.”

“Whoa, aren’t you a beta?”

“Why are you like this? Betas can like knotting too, you know?”

The masked people on the screen laughed “Wahahaha” while talking about their sex lives. Not only are they betas having relations with alphas, but they say they only feel satisfied if there is knotting….

“There are truly so many crazy people in this world.”

But couldn’t I also be included in the ranks of those crazy people? I wouldn’t get addicted to knotting, but… I couldn’t rule it out as something that would never happen. Shuddering at the sudden fear, Siyul slapped his cheeks with his palms until they made a loud sound to pull himself together.

If I sleep with Woo Hyunse, will I end up stuck to him like the videos I’ve been watching? Even if I try to imagine myself on top, it’s hard to even dare to harbor such a delusion with Woo Hyunse as the target. The imagination of having my collar grabbed, being dragged down, and thrown onto the bed played out much more easily.

Kissing, undressing, becoming completely naked, pressing skin against skin, spreading legs….

“….”

Siyul, who had been lying prone, let out a pained groan and awkwardly pushed his body up. It was a position on all fours. It wasn’t intentional, but seeing his knees and elbows pressed to the floor, it was a position that appeared frequently in the videos.

In that state, he just lowered his head. The pant legs that should have been hanging loosely were strangely lifted.

“Damn it….”

Siyul hunched his shoulders and slammed his head down onto the back of his hands. The “fellow” down there, who had been perfectly fine while watching the videos, was raising heat and acting like a jerk just from a little bit of imagining.

Would it have been less scary if I had just dived in without knowing anything? As the saying goes, the more you know, the more you see; having studied it, I’m even more afraid to give my consent. My curiosity is overflowing, but as I’m about to set foot into an unknown world, the hesitation and the desire to protect myself are immense.

Woo Hyunse is an alpha. Since I’m a beta, he wouldn’t do things like knotting on my body, but still, aren’t there such things as “what-if” scenarios? I didn’t want to experience the ordeal of being rushed to the emergency room while holding my torn-up stomach.

There were other worries besides that. Siyul didn’t want to look clumsy in bed. If he just jumped in blindly, it might be exposed immediately that he was a greenhorn with no experience. He hated the thought of that more than anything. Since he had already told a lie, he wanted to deceive him perfectly until the end so he wouldn’t be caught.

Of course, sexual experience isn’t a measure of popularity. But Siyul wanted to bluff. Like a lizard puffing up its neck in front of an enemy, he wanted to stand tall and boast, showing that he was a person who had dated and played around well regardless of gender. If forced to label it, this was a matter of pride as a man.

“What do I do about this?”

How could I look skillful? Even if I watch all the audiovisual materials in the world, it won’t become second nature. Wouldn’t it be a bit better if I caught someone, tried it out, and then did it with Woo Hyunse? At least if it wasn’t my first time, I could imitate it plausibly….

Practice.

A giant exclamation mark appeared in his head. Siyul jerked his head up. That’s it. Experience—I just need to try it. It would be fine as long as it wasn’t an alpha, right? If the resistance is because Woo Hyunse is an alpha, I can just step up from betas one by one.

This is nothing short of a genius idea. Siyul marveled, “Wow,” even though he was the one who thought of it. If Kwon Yuwon heard this, he would have packed him a lunch and stopped him, saying he had finally gone completely crazy, but since he wasn’t there, and Siyul had no intention of revealing such an idea to him, it was fine.

Siyul praised himself for coming up with a brilliant plan and clenched his fist. He decided to hold the event on his day off. Heck, it wasn’t like he had some flowery sentimentality that gave special meaning to a first experience. As long as he didn’t get caught by Woo Hyunse that he was a virgin, it was all good.

On the long-awaited holiday, Siyul did careful, repeated searches for this day. Excluding strange places, he chose ones with relatively good reviews and even went on a secret scouting mission. He found one clean and decent establishment and planned to go there today.

Siyul stood in front of the mirror and tidied his attire. The carefully selected clothes seemed to suit him particularly well today. His hairstyle, too, and not a single pimple had popped up on his face; at this rate, it seemed highly likely he would succeed in hooking someone as soon as he entered.

Alright, it was time to cheer himself on in the mirror. His phone, which he had set down on the floor, began to vibrate. When he picked it up, there was a text. The sender was obvious.

They had exchanged texts until they went to sleep last night, too. He couldn’t call. With Kwon Yuwon wide awake right beside him, how could he possibly have a phone conversation? Even if he said he was going out for a moment, it was certain that Kwon Yuwon would grab his sleeve like a husband who had caught the scent of an affair and bombard him with questions, so Siyul just tapped his keyboard until his fingers felt like they were on fire.

Siyul had managed to hide his plans from Woo Hyunse. He hadn’t even breathed a word of the plan. A “good night” text decorated the end of the chat.

A new text had arrived below it. “What time shall we meet today?” Woo Hyunse tried to set an appointment on the sly without even asking him. Siyul chuckled, as if finding it ridiculous, and sent a reply.

I have a prior engagement today

“I’m a busy person too, you see.”

Actually, that wasn’t true. His past of killing time by rolling around at home all day, playing games on his phone, and giggling at useless videos flashed by. Strictly speaking, this was an “act.” An act of being busy, an act of having no time, an act of being popular.

He was waiting for a reply when Woo Hyunse called him immediately. In times like this, texts would have been more comfortable. He was afraid that if he heard his voice, his treacherous mouth would start blabbing away on its own. Still, he couldn’t refuse the ringing phone. After hesitating, Siyul answered.

“Hello.”

Don’t you think you should naturally meet me on your day off? I even cleared my schedule for that.

“I’ve already promised to meet some friends today.”

Aha, friends.

“You didn’t ask me if I had time yesterday. You should have asked me first.”

What time will you finish?

“I don’t know. I’m going to drink a bit.”

Don’t drink too much. Mr. Kwon Siyul, you fall asleep when you’re drunk. What are you going to do if someone carries you away?

He even tells jokes in a serious voice. Siyul giggled as if he were drunk on three bottles of soju. His face, with his cheeks pushed up into round mounds, was reflected clearly in the mirror. It felt too unfamiliar, so he quickly cleared his throat and wiped the smile off his face.

Contact me when you’re done.

“…Are you going to come pick me up?”

I should.

A person who used to be scary. Now, a person who is gentle. He forced his lips down, but they tried to go back up to no avail. His reflection in the mirror was smiling foolishly again.

“Then I’ll contact you.”

However, he wouldn’t call Woo Hyunse today. Siyul hid his dark intentions and finished by saying they would see each other next time. He held the disconnected phone for a long time. The warm phone felt similar to the warmth of Woo Hyunse that he had once tasted, so he didn’t want to let go right away.

Siyul pulled on his clothes and gave himself a pep talk, “Phew.” The club he had painstakingly chosen was located in a deep alleyway. Everyone entering and leaving was a man. On the promotional flyer on the ground, cheesy words were printed saying they didn’t discriminate between alphas, betas, and omegas, and that everyone was welcome.

In the reviews he searched for online, people praised it until their fingers were dry, saying this was the place with the best people and that everyone was equipped with manners as a basic trait. Since it was his first time, after all, he chose this place because he thought it would be better to look for a decent person if possible.

The inside was no different from any other club. Whether it was a dance of courtship or a frenzied dance, the stage was in full swing, and music and beats loud enough to make his eardrums hurt thundered, shaking the entire club. Throwing himself into this atmosphere wasn’t bad, but his objective was firm today.

Siyul found the bar attached to the wall and turned his footsteps toward it. It was a place where he could at least hear less noise. He found a secluded corner along the long bar and sat there. According to what he had found out, they said that even if you just sat still, people would approach you on their own.

Trusting those words completely, he sat in the chair and ordered a beer. He was determined not to exceed his alcohol tolerance, just as Woo Hyunse said. At least he had to be in his right mind to perform the deed so it would remain in his memory and he could imitate it later.

“Is this your first time?”

The bartender said, handing him a beer. Siyul scanned the stage distractedly and answered perfunctorily, “Yes.”

“You don’t have to be too nervous. Just relax and have a good time.”

He had a good sense of humor, too. Siyul just nodded. He felt more nervous than when he was delivering drugs—what was this? He sipped his beer to moisten his dry throat while his legs shook.

When he was halfway through his beer, a man finally approached him just like in the reviews. He asked, “Are you alone?” but Siyul was indifferent. He was already disqualified by his face. The claim that the people here were good was a total lie. He thought they checked appearances at the entrance earlier, yet even things like rotten potatoes were crawling in here—so much for “people management.”

Without even glancing in his direction, Siyul waved his hand dismissively.

“I’m with someone.”

Oblivious to the fact that his own standards were sky-high, Siyul turned away every single person who approached him.