MORE 34

Siyul closed the door, hiding a smirk. He would have preferred to leave after the car departed, but he couldn’t afford to dilly-dally and keep Kwon Yuwon waiting. He stepped backward slowly, one step, two steps, then turned around only after hearing the engine start.

For some reason—perhaps out of reluctance—he looked back again before going very far. The car was still remaining in that spot.

He saw Kwon Yuwon sitting at a table outside the convenience store. There was a blue bottle of soju on the table, too. Since something must be wrong, Siyul hurried his pace. Before arriving, he sprayed an excessive amount of pheromone deodorant to completely mask Woo Hyunse’s scent.

“Why are you drinking alone instead of waiting a little longer?”

“You’re here. Why are you so late? You said you were nearby.”

“I even ran here.”

Perhaps he had intended to drink alone, as there was no paper cup for Siyul. Kwon Yuwon looked inside the convenience store once, then phoo… he sighed and held out the cup he had been drinking from. Siyul took the paper cup without hesitation and emptied the soju inside.

“Why the sudden drinking? You can only handle half a bottle.”

Kwon Yuwon, who had been tilting his head back and looking at the sky, straightened his posture. He looked at Siyul for a long time and then let out a hollow laugh.

“You, is working not hard? Finishing every day at dawn.”

“It’s manageable. Why? Is it very hard lately?”

Kwon Yuwon had been thrown onto the front lines of making a living since he was in high school. He had done every kind of job, just as much as Siyul. If Kwon Yuwon, who used to get things done without a word no matter how difficult the work was, was showing it like this, it might be a big problem.

Siyul was suddenly struck by fear. Even if Kwon Yuwon had worries, he didn’t often open up to him. It might even be that he had already committed the act.

Kwon Yuwon silently filled the glass. He filled half of the large paper cup and tossed it into his mouth. The face that was chewing the snack with a crunch was twisted. It couldn’t just be the bitter taste of the alcohol.

“Thinking of the old days.”

“When we were at the orphanage?”

“No, when I did delivery work. Back then, even if it was shitty to have to suck up to people, the money came in well. I thought I’d be able to buy a house soon.”

Siyul nodded, filled the empty cup with alcohol, and drank it just like Kwon Yuwon. It was the job where his body was the most comfortable and the most money came in among all the jobs he had tried. But if asked to do it again, he wouldn’t be able to jump into it without hesitation. The first person who came to mind was Woo Hyunse. That man who gave him a stable job and told him not to do things like drug delivery.

“I got a call from the pig.”

The hand that had been reaching for a snack paused in mid-air. It was a memory he didn’t want to recall. The cramped partition, what kind of thing was he about to have done to him on top of the toilet? The flabby belly, the fat hands pressing down on his neck, and the breathing that sounded like a boar jumped out from his memory and swamped Siyul. Goosebumps rose like barnacles on his long, outstretched neck.

Siyul lifted his hardened eyes. Kwon Yuwon was about to grab the paper cup but instead grabbed the neck of the bottle and drank straight from it. His eyes were blurry.

“A big job came in, but… he asked me to do it.”

“You said there had been no contact until now. When?”

“I got it today.”

His appetite vanished completely. Siyul looked at Kwon Yuwon with his expression wiped clean. Kwon Yuwon did not avoid his gaze. Well, he hadn’t revealed in detail what he had experienced, so he wouldn’t know. It wasn’t something that remained as a deep wound. It had ended in an attempt; it was just to the extent of stepping on filth while walking down the street.

“…There was a time a while ago when that bastard wouldn’t give us work for a long time. What was the condition the pig wanted back then?”

Kwon Yuwon’s expression, which had been calm, hardened rapidly. Siyul filled the cup with alcohol and held it out.

“You can tell me now.”

Kwon Yuwon looked down at the cup and then forcefully bent his wrist. Without touching the snack, he hung his head low like a sinner and mumbled. It was hard to hear, so Siyul leaned his ear across the table.

“I can’t hear you. What did you say?”

“…He told me to hand you over. If I hand you over… he said he’d pay double.”

He had only guessed that he would have demanded an unreasonable ratio, but he had never imagined it would be something like that. Even when he asked what the cause was, there was a reason Kwon Yuwon had fought tooth and nail not to reveal it. Siyul filled the paper cup with a generous amount of soju and downed it in one go to steady his fading mind.

“That crazy fucking bastard, seriously.”

“Of course I refused. You’re not some object, what the hell is he talking about, giving or not giving? I swore at him and shoved curses into his ear, prepared for the deal to be cut off. But this time, he didn’t say any bullshit like that. He just asked to do the work cleanly. It wasn’t even difficult. It’s that ‘throwing’ [delivery] job we used to do, that’s all.”

“….”

“At first, I wasn’t going to do it, right? I had to be able to trust him. But the advance payment… the money we get after finishing the job is several times more than the money we’ve received until now.”

“Yuwon.”

“If we do that one job, we can leave this place. We can get a jeonse [deposit-based lease] and live together.”

The bottle was empty before he knew it. His insides were burning, so he wanted to drink more. If it were the past, he might have trusted that Kwon Yuwon would handle it well, accepted it blankly, and said to do whatever he wanted, that he would follow whatever he did. But strangely, now, his mouth felt like it was glued shut. To dip his feet back into that, it felt gross, and he didn’t want to leave Kwon Yuwon to do that work alone.

“Can’t you not do that?”

Kwon Yuwon, who had been spitting things out one after another while only staring at the floor, lifted his head. He looked very surprised, as if he hadn’t thought he would be stopped.

“I don’t think I can trust that pig bastard at all. Even if things are a bit hard, let’s just work hard and earn money. We’re not starving right now, so there’s no need to take that risk.”

“Kwon Siyul. We need money.”

“I’m saying let’s earn it slowly.”

Kwon Yuwon slammed his fist down on the table with a bang. Since he had clenched it tightly, bumpy veins rose on the back of his hand.

“Do you think we can save money by doing mere part-time jobs at bars? It’s impossible. Other bastards at least have parents to support them, but you know we don’t have shit. There are only two of us in the world, so when are we going to save up penny by penny and go get a jeonse, and when are we going to buy a house! In a world where the price goes up after you sleep and wake up, how are we supposed to save that money? It’s a world where a grain of dust gathered together is just a grain of dust!”

“Yuwon.”

His voice grew louder and louder as he was agitated, then his voice trembled. Calm down, Yuwon, he tried calling his name one more time, but those sharp eyes remained pointed as ever. Even though they had been together since before they could even walk, he didn’t know how to stop Kwon Yuwon, who was burning like fire.

If it were before, he would have quickly bowed his head and handed over the reins, saying do as you want, but this time he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to stop Yuwon. He stared straight at him without avoiding his gaze.

“Even so, let’s not do it. I don’t want you to do that. Having experienced dangerous work once is enough.”

“….”

“If it’s really hard, I’ll work by myself, so you get some rest. It might be because you’re exhausted. If you don’t like the inn, let’s look for another place. I’ll also look into a jeonse loan together.”

Kwon Yuwon had no words. Perhaps it was throbbing, as he was only pressing his two eyes gently with his fingers.

“Yeah. Even if we get hired at a company, we probably wouldn’t earn enough to buy a house in Seoul. But if we save hard, wouldn’t we be able to save up the jeonse deposit soon? There are two of us. Or, it doesn’t necessarily have to be here. I saw it on the news the other day, they said that for the price of a jeonse here, you can buy an apartment in the provinces.”

He chattered on and on on purpose. Because he wanted to change Kwon Yuwon’s mind somehow. Kwon Yuwon pressed his temples and then looked blankly at Siyul.

“…You’ve changed a bit.”

After dissecting Siyul in detail, Kwon Yuwon opened his mouth after a long while. Siyul finally widened his eyes and poked himself with his index finger. At the action of asking back if he was different from before, a breathless laugh burst out of Kwon Yuwon’s mouth. His hardened expression also loosened a bit.

“Yeah. In the past, if I said let’s do it, you would do it unconditionally.”

“I stopped you from doing the delivery work the first time, too.”

“If I insist again this time, will you allow it?”

“No.”

Even if Kwon Yuwon threatened him like before, saying if you refuse this work, let’s go our separate ways, and if you’re not going to do it, I’ll leave this place, he wouldn’t give in. He would do his best to stop him. He had a bad feeling. The pig wouldn’t have promised a huge sum of money by giving him comfortable and easy work.

He still didn’t have money on hand. Even if the two of them worked until late at night, compared to back then when they delivered drugs, it was only at the level of barely making a living. Still, he didn’t want to go back. It wasn’t about reforming his ways.

It was just.

Siyul fidgeted with the soggy paper cup. It felt as if a palm was still stuck to his lower back. The touch that had been caressing him had been hot and subtle.

He wanted to stand proudly in front of Woo Hyunse. Although he only had his two balls to his name and was full of shortcomings, at the very least, he didn’t want to show him the sight of himself being caught by the police after participating in illegal activities.

Kwon Yuwon filled his chest and then let out his breath as if a kettle were releasing steam. His puffed-up cheeks shrunk until they were hollow. As if he wanted to drink more alcohol, he shook the empty bottle over his open mouth. Only a drop or two fell. He smacked his lips, saying chep, and wiped his lips.

He had helped, but Kwon Yuwon had drunk more than his own capacity. His cheeks and under his eyes were reddish, and he hiccuped little by little. His pronunciation was also slurred.

“Yul, I really want to live well with you.”

“I know.”

“It’s so sad that in this vast land, there isn’t a house where the two of us can lie down in comfort. Before we get any older, I want to hurry and earn money, and in a nice apartment, I want to use a room each with you.”

The heat cooled down quickly. He was such a fiery personality. It would boil up violently and then fizzle out. Because he knew this Kwon Yuwon better than anyone, Siyul nodded without a word and listened to his lamenting.