JADE 57

Unless this were an agrarian society, what’s so great about being born an alpha, aside from having generally superior physical and reproductive abilities? What had he been seeing all this time to think that alphas were unconditionally superior?

Just having pheromones involved makes conversation this tiring.

But if he didn’t even have his pride as an alpha, if he hadn’t encouraged himself as an alpha, Jin Sejun would be nothing but a very pathetic human being.

A polished appearance is effective during consultations or when meeting people, but plenty of people who weren’t as handsome as Jin Sejun found the right person and became happy. So for Jin Sejun, even a good quality becomes pearls before swine.

He didn’t have much memory of the time until boarding after spacing out, but it was vivid how Kwon Joowan had supported a staggering Jin Sejun, who tried to shake him off, only to have his steps get tangled, and ended up accepting the help.

His life was already embarrassing, so adding one more disgraceful act wouldn’t even be noticeable.

The seats Kwon Joowan had booked were a pair, perfect for a couple. A flight attendant came over, said something or other, and left after giving them welcome drinks and snacks. On behalf of Jin Sejun, who was limp with annoyance, Kwon Joowan even fastened his seatbelt for him.

“They said it will be mealtime soon.”

How long had it been since takeoff? He finally came to his senses a bit. He had no appetite, but wanting to pretend he was fine, he requested the same thing as Kwon Joowan. However, as soon as the appetizer was served, he regretted not just saying he wouldn’t eat.

After picking at his food for a bit, he closed his eyes, and a large hand covered his forehead.

“Mr. Sejun, are you not feeling well?”

“…No.”

His eyelids kept getting hot, and the bridge of his nose tingled. But whatever it was, it was no big deal. Jin Sejun removed Kwon Joowan’s hand and diligently finished his meal again.

How could he be so moody every single moment? Before coming to the airport, things had been nothing but sweet, so why did happiness always fly away as soon as it arrived for a fleeting moment?

After finishing his meal, Kwon Joowan downed a handful of pills he had with him and fell asleep. Jin Sejun wondered if it was okay to take medicine after drinking so much, but it wasn’t his place to interfere so much with a person who said no to both omegas and alphas.

He tried to sleep as well but had an unpleasant dream for the first time in a while. It was a moment from the past when Jin Sejun, for the first time in his life, had tasted the bitterness of life… or rather, the bitterness of the limits of his own charm.

He thinks that was probably when he realized that no matter how much he pretended to be great, there were many things he couldn’t do anything about. No matter how he acted smug, relying on his alpha-ness while telling himself it was no big deal, there were so many memories of failure….

Truthfully, relationships, whether in bed or otherwise, are hard to make work if you’re not a good match, but ever since his parents split up, Jin Sejun had considered himself untalented at maintaining a harmonious relationship.

Of course, now he thinks it’s better for people who don’t get along to build their own lives rather than forcing themselves to stay together, and he knows it’s a complacent thought since he lived without any financial hardship.

Still…. The inside of his blanket was always so cold.

Everyone thinks it couldn’t possibly be true for someone like Jin Sejun, but he was used to rejection. A man made of pride, an alpha crafted only from outstanding parts—even he himself had thought of himself that way, but no, he was cowardly because he knew frustration. And that wasn’t just because of Kwon Joowan.

“Are you cold?”

At the warm voice, Jin Sejun woke up with a start.

“Night flights are always cold. Here, cover up with my blanket too.”

“…Yes.”

“You really get cold easily.”

Kwon Joowan meticulously wrapped two blankets around Jin Sejun. Then, with a cool hand, he touched Jin Sejun’s forehead as if taking his temperature. As if he couldn’t gauge it properly, he leaned over Jin Sejun’s body and pressed their foreheads together.

He was tantalized, sorrowful, and thirsty.

For touch, for the loneliness, for a relationship….

So this was Kwon Joowan’s fault for bringing his face close under the pretext of checking his temperature. Still on the border between reality, dreams, and drunkenness, Jin Sejun could easily steal Kwon Joowan’s lips just by lifting his chin slightly.

A long time passed after their lips pressed together softly, but Kwon Joowan did nothing. He just gave him enough time.

Jin Sejun tried to lick their joined lips, then gave up and hesitantly pulled away.

“…Are you half-asleep, or is it the alcohol?”

It was a plain question, with a nuance that was neither negative nor positive. With just that, Jin Sejun got scared like a child on a witness stand and ended up confessing.

“I like you….”

But was it an unfavorable statement? The words he’d uttered felt like someone else’s, and then came the moment he finally realized what he had done.

While Jin Sejun wiped his face with one hand, Kwon Joowan pulled back and sat properly in his seat. The few seconds that felt as long as ten thousand years were suffocating.

Finally, Kwon Joowan delivered a short sentence.

“…I see.”

“……”

What the fuck is that for a reply? The sound of Jin Sejun swallowing his breath was laced with deep bewilderment. Why was he so angry when he should have just been disappointed? After blinking a few times, the anger that had surged up subsided somewhat, and a new emotion took its place.

Did he think that if a person who always acted high and mighty humbled himself a little to confess, anyone would be grateful? It wasn’t something to feel miserable about, but it was considerably more sorrowful than he had expected. He was shocked at his own mental state for being so affected by this situation.

“I’m sorry….”

And Kwon Joowan, the man who hadn’t even left him any hope, delivered the final blow with his added words, yet still leaned over and hugged Jin Sejun tightly.

Ah, three strikes and you’re out….

But this isn’t something for an alpha to cry about.

“Mr. Sejun, are you okay?”

Due to an old defense mechanism, Jin Sejun first put on a leisurely smile.

“What can I do if I’m not okay, haha. It’s not like Mr. Joowan is the only person in the world who can warm my blankets.”

What the hell was he spouting? Sounding him out and then putting him down made him seem like such a loser. But his mouth was already beyond the control of his reason.

“Wow, maybe because I had a drink and slept a little, a confession just popped out. You know that I’ve always liked you, Mr. Joowan. It’s embarrassing how you’re cutting me off so sharply, so embarrassing.”

The truly embarrassing person was Jin Sejun…. Whether he knew that he wanted to die because of his own words and actions or not, Kwon Joowan replied with a clear face.

“That’s right. What meaning would a confession have? People break off engagements even after promising a future….”

“Haha, that’s a bit of a harsh joke. Is it because you have experience…. Hahahaha!”

Was Kwon Joowan drunk too? He felt like such an idiot for chuckling at his words. A normal alpha wouldn’t shed tears like a fool in a situation like this, but maybe because Jin Sejun was a defective product, the bridge of his nose kept tingling.

How many times had he acted like this in front of Kwon Joowan? But Jin Sejun was a man accustomed to pretending to be fine, so this time too, he managed to stop the dampness in his eyes, the sense of defeat, the disappointment, and the misery from clumping together and rolling down.

“Right…. Right, it’s all meaningless. You’re so cynical, Mr. John.”

“I woke you up, so get some more sleep.”

He didn’t know how the flight time had passed on the way here, but it was even worse on the way back. He pulled the blanket over his head again and tried to sleep, but as time went on, he felt too ashamed.

His confidence had dropped because Kwon Joowan had said he had no intention of dating an alpha or an omega, but before that, hadn’t he resolved to confess like an alpha, like a man?

Anyway, this damn habit of counting his chickens before they hatched, getting overly excited on his own when the person giving had no thoughts of it, and then crashing down, making a fuss… this pathetic habit….

At one point, Jin Sejun’s body trembled at a touch. Perhaps worried that the blanket was too short for him, since he was also tall, Kwon Joowan took the other blanket and carefully covered Jin Sejun all the way down to his feet.

He’d rather he not do this. He felt like jumping out of the plane into mid-air, then like running through the cabin with a smile, and in the end, he just wanted to go home. If he was going to endure in the same cold blankets anyway, he wanted to be pathetic all by himself.

If he was going to complain about the blankets being cold all the time, shouldn’t he just order an electric blanket or something?

He had no appetite during the second mealtime either, but the menu was light, so it was edible. The two of them had a relatively normal, brief conversation about the meal options and the remaining flight time.

Jin Sejun, who finished his meal without even knowing if the food went into his mouth or his nose, went to the restroom, washed his face, and stared at himself in the mirror.

In the past, the man he made eye contact with in the mirror seemed quite cool, but these days he was always pathetic.

To actually get rejected….

And let’s stop drinking so much. Being dragged around by drunkenness is such a disgraceful act. Making that resolution, he returned to his seat to find Kwon Joowan asleep. Thanks to that, the two didn’t exchange a single word until they landed.

Jin Sejun felt a sense of relief at the impact of the aircraft’s wheels touching the runway. But when he stood up, even though he was sober, he staggered as if he were seasick on dry land.

“Watch your step.”

Kwon Joowan grabbed his forearm, just like when they had boarded. Unlike then, Jin Sejun flinched, came to his senses, refused the support, and walked straight. While passing through immigration, Kwon Joowan struck up a conversation as if nothing had happened.

“We’re finally in Korea. Europe is really far.”

“It is….”

He thought that acting brazenly as if nothing had happened was his specialty alone, but at some point, it felt as if the situation had been reversed.

“Mr. Sejun, did you drive here?”

“No, my brother’s wife dropped me off.”

“Then would you like to go together in my car?”

“I would be grateful.”

The desire to have a comfortable ride won over the desire to run away. Besides, if they parted ways this time, he likely wouldn’t see Kwon Joowan again unless Jin Yiseo competed in a tournament.

He thought they might have to go all the way to the valet parking area, but as soon as they exited to the nearest parking lot, a familiar large sedan approached with its hazard lights blinking.

‘Ah… so he wasn’t driving himself.’

After they put the luggage in the trunk, Kwon Joowan opened the back seat door for him. Jin Sejun, too tired to even react to the unexpected escort, got in and sat down, and Kwon Joowan followed him into the back seat.

The driver was a middle-aged female beta whom Kwon Joowan called “Housekeeper.” The sun was already high in the sky, but due to the time difference, his body was still wandering in the early morning, and he felt completely out of it.

It didn’t take long to arrive at the apartment complex. He declined the housekeeper’s offer to take out the luggage, but this time Kwon Joowan latched onto the suitcase.

“You have a lot of luggage, so I’ll carry it for you.”

“No, then I’ll…”

“It’s my luggage, so can’t I carry it?”

Why were a young master and a housekeeper bickering over someone else’s luggage? Jin Sejun tried to intervene, but Kwon Joowan practically snatched the suitcase.

Fine, do whatever you want. Jin Sejun swallowed a resigned curse and opened the front door.

“Maybe he felt pity because I rejected someone who said they liked me….”

Uh-oh, he was trying to play it cool and move on, but isn’t this getting a bit clingy? Kwon Joowan pretended not to hear Jin Sejun’s sarcastic remark, which was posed as a mumble to himself, but as soon as the elevator doors closed, he opened his mouth.

“…Actually, it’s true that I followed you to Spain, Mr. Sejun.”

“Yes…?”