JADE 46

“Ah, you’re here early. Hello!”

Eun Garam greeted them cheerfully and sat down next to Kwon Joowan. Jin Sejun looked back and forth between the two of them across from him, then took a big gulp of his drink. The two must have met at the fitness center again, as they naturally started talking about working out.

“Wow, really? I like jogging too.”

Eun Garam exclaimed as if he had made the discovery of the century while looking at Kwon Joowan. Jogging. There was a time when Jin Sejun had also run like crazy with Kwon Joowan, but now, just putting on sneakers made his chest feel tight as he mulled over the short memories.

“Do you do marathons too? For a 5k, would you like to enter a race with me?”

“If my schedule allows.”

“Wow~. I took body profile pictures before coming here. I didn’t used to like working out much, but I think I picked it up as a hobby thanks to that.”

“That’s great.”

Soon, the newlywed couple and the beta man came down and filled the seats. Eun Garam seized control of every topic that came up.

“I like art museums too, so I’m really looking forward to the Prado Museum.”

“I see.”

Jin Sejun realized that the beta, who had originally planned to drink with Kwon Joowan, wasn’t getting a turn to speak, so he deliberately struck up a conversation.

“What do you do in your free time, Mr. Jaewoo?”

“Me? Ah, I just read a little.”

“Really? Reading is my hobby too~!”

Without fail, Eun Garam jumped in. But since he was the youngest and had a fundamentally charming nature, Cha Jaewoo, the beta, nodded without much thought and asked.

“What kind of books do you like?”

“English and American classics.”

Sure, you can like those. Even if others had finished the complete works in middle or high school, the classics were vast. Jin Sejun nodded and watched as the group moved on to a conversation about the corruption of “book clubs.”

Come to think of it, there were many people like Eun Garam among Jin Sejun’s former classmates and peers. Or on dating apps.

Yes, somehow Eun Garam’s way of talking was strangely like a personal statement or a dating app profile, scraping together even non-existent specs. A person at that age couldn’t possibly be interested in every field, and even if they were, it would be difficult to become more than superficially knowledgeable, yet Eun Garam chimed in on every topic and steered the flow of conversation toward himself.

His loud laughter, too, suggested a personality that had to be in the spotlight. Or maybe Jin Sejun was just thinking critically because he didn’t have many hobbies himself and had strangely high standards for things he was truly interested in.

‘Is this the lifestyle of an insider?’

At one time, Jin Sejun had also belonged to the ‘insiders,’ but it had been almost ten years since he had lived as an ‘outsider,’ so those days felt far, far away. Then, Eun Garam finally asked someone else a question instead of talking about himself.

“Would it be okay to ask what you all do for a living?”

“I work at my father’s company.”

“Wow!”

“No, it’s a small company.”

As soon as Choi Jaewoo waved his hand dismissively, Eun Garam spoke as if embarrassed.

“I work in Yeongseo-gu…”

Yeongseo-gu was famous as the neighborhood where an affiliate of a major conglomerate was located. But Jin Sejun didn’t feel like acknowledging it and replied blankly.

“A civil servant…?”

“No, I work at OO.”

“Aha, that’s amazing.”

“What about you, Mr. Joowan?”

“I’m a trainer.”

Why not say you do cheerleading? But even Jin Sejun probably wouldn’t want to give a lengthy explanation about cheerleading to people he would likely only see once.

Or, had he chosen what would sound cooler to Eun Garam?

“Wow~. No wonder. So… can I touch your arm just once, Mr. Joowan?”

“What? Yes…”

Eun Garam felt Kwon Joowan’s arm, let out a small gasp, and then held out his own arm.

“Feel my arm, too. I’ve been working out hard lately, you know. I just had my body profile pictures taken.”

It seemed he was repeating what he had said before everyone else arrived. The move was so obvious, but since it didn’t seem cute, Jin Sejun was clearly worn out by fatigue.

If Kwon Joowan had just gone ahead and felt Eun Garam’s arm, he might have become endlessly furious, but thankfully, Kwon Joowan waved his hands.

“No, it’s okay. I’m an expert, so I can tell just by looking.”

“What do you mean? Hey, are you looking down on me because I don’t have muscles?”

“Not at all.”

Jin Sejun averted his eyes from the lovey-dovey show unfolding before him and quietly emptied his glass.

Having left his mother behind, Eun Garam was acting so openly as if he were on a blind date with Kwon Joowan. Without the nosy elders or his own mother around, he must have felt like he had grown wings.

But it would be too embarrassing to get caught being in a bad mood over something like this. Jin Sejun put on the most normal-looking smile he could manage, playing along, and when he felt he had been quiet for too long, he would throw in a silly remark or two.

Thanks to Eun Garam, there was hardly any silence, so he didn’t have to try very hard. After all, Eun Garam played the piano, worked out hard, saw exhibitions, enjoyed reading, and knew everything from classical to rock music.

“That’s why I have a blog where I write book reviews.”

“Do you want to be mutual followers? I also have a blog where I write about good restaurants and exhibition reviews. Though it’s been a while.”

The conversation about blogs soon shifted to following each other on social media. Eun Garam was telling everyone his ID when he covered his cheeks with his hands as if he had just remembered something.

“Ah, I have my body profile pictures on my account!”

“Why, everyone takes them.”

“Ugh~ I have my body profile pictures in my stories. What do I do? If I had known there was a trainer here, I wouldn’t have posted them.”

Is he asking for us to look… Jin Sejun smirked and said.

“If you’re embarrassed, you can just delete them before telling us.”

“Do you use it too, Mr. Sejun?”

“No…”

“I see. Don’t look at my stories. Especially you, Mr. Joowan.”

No, I’m telling you to delete it if you don’t want us to see it… Jin Sejun shrugged and sipped his drink. He kept drinking because his throat was dry, and this was already his fourth glass.

It was getting late, and since it wasn’t a hotel in a downtown area, the staff was making it very obvious they wanted to go home. Thanks to that, they broke up at a reasonable time and went up to their room, but his mood was terrible.

He hadn’t had a drink all day and had been feeling fine, but it seemed he had joined in for no reason. Seeing how much Choi Jaewoo was enjoying himself, it was clear that he was the only one watching the conversation with a cynical heart.

It should be fun, so why did he feel so awful? He didn’t want to dwell on the reason, so he just concluded that he didn’t fit in with the people here. In the past, he would have adapted to any type of person and had fun, but he really wasn’t in a good state right now.

‘I want to go home.’

Jin Sejun swayed slightly as he walked. Kwon Joowan was held back by Eun Garam, exchanging goodbyes, and only came to the room at the very last moment. Since he had the card key, Jin Sejun had been leaning against the door with his forehead pressed against it until Kwon Joowan arrived.

“Mr. Sejun, you drank a lot. Are you okay?”

“I drank because I was okay.”

“You’re swaying.”

“I’m feeling the rhythm.”

“Are you trying to learn flamenco too?”

“Wow, so not funny. Do you call that a joke?”

“……”

Jin Sejun chugged the water in the room in one go. He thought he would be able to fall asleep right after washing up and packing his suitcase, but he just couldn’t keep the question that had been circling his mind to himself. Jin Sejun muttered toward Kwon Joowan, who had just come out of the shower.

“…Are you switching from Ms. Ahn Saeha to Eun Garam?”

“What?”

“You said you were going to drink with just Mr. Jaewoo, just the beta, but Eun Garam was there too. I was going to let it slide even though I knew you lied to leave me out… but I just didn’t want to anymore.”

“……”

“Why do I feel so shitty?”

If it’s not true, then say so. Why is he keeping his mouth shut? He mumbled his way through it just fine when I asked earlier.

Only after an awkwardly long silence did Kwon Joowan make an excuse.

“At first, that was the plan, but the group grew.”

“Aha.”

He wanted to ask, ‘Was I that much of a hindrance?’ but Jin Sejun kept his mouth shut.

“I won’t be going out from now on anyway, so go have fun without any worries.”

“It’s not what you think, Mr. Sejun.”

“You’re right, I don’t know shit…”

Jin Sejun passed out before Kwon Joowan could mumble his self-defense. And so, another night passed.

From the next day on, Eun Garam began to cling to Kwon Joowan very openly, bursting into his characteristic high-pitched laughter. On the bus, he even overheard Kwon Joowan saying something silly to Jin Sejun and nearly died of laughter.

“I don’t think it was that funny…”

Jin Sejun muttered, then, embarrassed, crossed his arms and tried to sleep. He could feel a gaze on him, but he ignored it and tried to think of pleasant things. But nothing of the sort came to mind.

It had been fun hanging out with Kwon Joowan a month or two ago, but other than that, his life had been filled with nothing but boredom.

“Salamanca is at a very high altitude, so it’s colder than Seville. It has the oldest university in Spain, and—”

I wish this trip would end soon. I should have gone on an independent trip, even if it was a hassle. There were clearly many elements that should have been impressive, but he was too exhausted.

On top of that, he couldn’t just ignore Eun Garam’s mother, who was left alone because of her son’s love life, so he would often help her, supporting her on the bumpy stone paths or holding a parasol for her when the sun was strong.

“My, my, Mother! Which one is your son-in-law?”

Then, the friendly guide said this, making the situation incredibly awkward. But it would be strange to scold Eun Garam and tell him to take care of his mother…

On the way to Madrid, the guide talked about Catalan independence and the El Clásico, the match between Real Madrid and FC Barcelona.

He said the atmosphere was almost like a Korea-Japan match, but Jin Sejun, who was only half-listening to the historical background, just thought that it was most comfortable to skim the surface of everything from a traveler’s perspective.

Maybe that was why a guy like Kwon Joowan only did wishy-washy things that were neither a fling nor anything else, getting distant then close, pushing away then pulling back, playing all these damn games.

Maybe it was just difficult with an alpha. Since he was a beta who disliked alphas and had dated an omega… maybe his thinking that there was a certain mood between them for a moment was just a misunderstanding.

Even though it had been a while since they left Granada, the song lingered in his ears.

Quizás, quizás, quizás….