Ch 8

<Episode 8>

Six months before that day (2)

The last remark left him with a strange feeling. When Eunho’s face hardened at sensing the hint of impropriety in Yoonjae’s words, Yoonjae’s eyes grew complicated at the sudden chill in the air. He rubbed his lips with his hand, as if carefully choosing his words.

“I didn’t say it to offend you. Just think of it as nagging out of concern.”

Eunho did not soften his cold expression and lowered his gaze. Then, picking up the spoon and fork he had set down, he continued eating as if nothing had happened. It was actually Yoonjae who seemed unsettled by Eunho’s reaction.

“Are you angry?”

“……I’m not in a position to be angry at you, Executive Director.”

“Even so, it’s better that you say so.”

“From now on, I won’t drink in front of you.”

His calm tone, neither angry nor displeased but dull as if numbed of emotion, made Yoonjae shake his head and let out a deep sigh.

“Ha, that’s not what I meant.”

“……”

“Sorry. I’ll apologize.”

The eyes that had been fixed on the spaghetti lifted straight up. Eunho, who hadn’t even imagined he would apologize, faltered in surprise, missed the timing to reply, and simply focused back on his spaghetti. He recalled what a secretary had told him on his first day at work—that Choi Yoonjae wasn’t the type to mistreat or look down on his subordinates.

***

“Are you going to keep quiet?”

“I’m not angry.”

After finishing their meal, Eunho took the wheel. The executive director he had worked under at his previous company, an older man, never once apologized directly to an employee, even if he made a mistake. It was as if saying the words would plunge him into a sense of defeat, as though admitting loss to a subordinate. In that sense, Choi Yoonjae’s behavior felt fresh and even shocking. Easing his crumpled feelings, Eunho shifted the atmosphere with the faint lift of his lips.

“When I drink alone, all I can think about is work.”

“……”

“It gets tiresome.”

Yoonjae, gazing at the night sky where all that could be seen was a black canvas dotted with faint starlight, lazily raised and lowered his brows. The genuine weariness in his voice made Eunho smile faintly.

“You’re asking me to be your drinking buddy, aren’t you?”

Turning his head, Yoonjae gave him a polite smile.

“On one condition.”

“……”

“When we drink, let’s leave the hierarchy behind.”

“Let’s do that.”

Yoonjae readily agreed to Eunho’s proposal. What had twisted awkwardly had now unraveled.

For some reason, Yoonjae seemed in a rush. By the time Eunho returned the rental car after arriving at the hotel, Yoonjae had already gone inside. Grabbing his briefcase from the back seat, Eunho followed him in and spotted him near the hotel lobby café, eyeing the desserts. With arms crossed, Yoonjae bent down slightly to browse, though he didn’t seem like he actually wanted anything.

“Go ahead and pick something.”

“You don’t like sweets, do you?”

“For the secretary team.”

“Ah.”

Inside the glass display, various chocolates of different flavors and types were neatly arranged. After scanning for a while, Eunho chose a selection of small assorted chocolates and requested enough for all the staff.

Carrying a shopping bag full of chocolates, Yoonjae pulled out the top case and handed it to Eunho. The small box of chocolates looked almost comical in his large, bony hand.

The two of them took the elevator to the guest rooms. Classical symphonies flowed softly through the wide corridor, adding to the mood.

Beep.

As the card key slid into the slot and the door opened, a message notification chimed from inside the briefcase. Half-dreading, Eunho opened the bag as soon as they stepped in, and sure enough, it was Hyunjun.

[I’m busy studying for the mock exams. Have a good trip. 8:36 p.m.]

“Mr. Yoo Eunho.”

“Yes.”

So absorbed in reading the message, Eunho hadn’t realized Yoonjae was standing right behind him, watching the exchange. Just as he was about to reply, Yoonjae seized his hand and pulled him toward the living room. Being dragged along felt strange, but it was hard to guess his intention, so Eunho stayed quiet.

“It may sound ridiculous coming from me, but…”

“Yes.”

“Don’t put too much trust in this person.”

Yoonjae knew full well it was a message from Eunho’s boyfriend. Why would he say such a thing knowing that? Eunho was genuinely curious.

“Executive Director.”

“Yes.”

“You’ve said this to me before…”

After a long silence, he returned Yoonjae’s wavering gaze, full of unanswered questions. Telling him not to trust someone without context was frustrating.

“Can I ask why you’re repeating yourself?”

Eunho’s tone suggested he wanted clarity. Yoonjae’s eyes wavered, faltering like he was holding back words. His lips parted and closed several times, as if stopping himself, until Eunho finally let out a faint sigh.

“……You’re going to get hurt, Eunho.”

It was the second incomprehensible warning. Eunho looked up at him seriously, bewildered by the almost prophetic tone of his words.

“What do you mean by that?”

A heavy fatigue seemed to press down on Yoonjae. He rubbed his face several times, as if frustrated, then steadied himself and explained calmly.

“If your partner does something you don’t understand, or gets too loose with you, question it. Don’t just let it go because you’ve been together a long time.”

It sounded like he was telling him to suspect his partner of cheating, but there was no way to know why he was saying this. Growing exasperated at Yoonjae’s roundabout talk, Eunho went straight to the point.

“……Do you know my partner?”

Tension thickened in the air as silence stretched, almost freezing time. After a long while, Yoonjae finally closed his eyes and exhaled a damp breath into the empty air.

“……Right now, I can’t tell you anything. But remember what I said. If you ever feel something is strange, think about it rationally.”

“Executive Director.”

“Yes.”

“Sorry, but…… I’ll handle that part myself.”

It was one thing for him to look out for an employee, but crossing into his private life and making unsolicited comments was difficult to accept. Eunho spoke carefully yet firmly, cutting him off. The man who didn’t seem like he would back down lowered his head.

“……Alright.”

Eunho saw a deep despair sink into Yoonjae’s dazed face. What was that expression? Why was he looking at him like that? Though he disliked the vague advice, that desolate expression unsettled him, and he found himself wondering why Yoonjae acted that way.

“I’ll head in first.”

But fatigue weighed down on everything else. He didn’t want to bother, didn’t want to care. Deliberately avoiding the matter, Eunho stepped into his room, collapsed onto the bed without even washing, and closed his eyes. Darkness swept over him.

How much time had passed? Curling up against the air conditioner’s chill, Eunho pulled the blanket up to his chin and groped around for his phone. 1:12 a.m. Light leaked through the crack under the door, meaning the living room light was still on. As drowsiness gave way to clarity, he got up to get a drink of water.

“……?”

Opening the door and sliding into his slippers, Eunho froze when he saw Yoonjae sitting on the sofa, staring out at the night view. On the table sat an empty wine bottle and a half-filled glass.

Did he drink like that all this time without even a snack?

He seemed lost in thought, not even stirring at Eunho’s presence.

The air of untouchability around him wasn’t some shallow arrogance or a carefully crafted façade, but something so natural it seemed inborn.

Yoonjae’s gaze at the window shifted, as though only now noticing the new silhouette reflected there. Slowly turning his head, he looked back at Eunho standing behind him. His eyes were tinged with hues heavy enough to suit the late night.

“You’ve been drinking all this time?”

Complex emotions welled in those lonely eyes—part despair, part resignation, but beneath it all lay a deep loneliness. His pheromones seemed so sunken that the air felt heavier near the floor than above.

“You should’ve called me.”

“It wasn’t that kind of mood.”

“Even so, you should’ve called me.”

The anger that had flared like fire hours earlier melted away like snow, all because of the look in his eyes—something words couldn’t describe. Yoonjae drained the rest of the wine in his glass and turned back toward the window.

“Even without snow, they prepare for Christmas here.”

Most of the building lights were off due to the late hour, but Christmas decorations strung across the exteriors still shone brightly in places. His heavy sigh seemed to cling to Eunho’s ankles. Eunho quietly approached and sat down beside him on the sofa.

“Just because there’s no snow doesn’t mean there’s no Christmas.”

Eunho recalled the extravagant front yard of his family’s house in America every Christmas—lavish beyond measure. When Halloween and Christmas came around, his family would scour supermarkets and online shops, buying every curious item they could find, and fill the yard in noisy splendor.

Listening quietly, Yoonjae set down his wine glass and asked in a calm voice,

“Do you like winters with snow, Eunho?”

Having been silent for so long, his voice was rough and fractured, scraping his throat as it came out.

“I don’t like the cold, but I do like snow.”

He raised one eyebrow, then nodded loosely as if in understanding. His eyelids, heavy with fatigue, drooped halfway down.

“And you, Executive Director?”

“……I don’t really like snow.”

For the first time, he spoke about himself. He seemed drunk, not just on wine but on the atmosphere. Gazing at the Christmas lights glittering outside, he continued slowly.

“On a day when snow was pouring down…… a truck coming from the opposite side, driven by someone dozing off, rammed straight into the car my parents were in.”

His low voice cut through the silence, each word engraving itself into Eunho’s mind. Though he spoke flatly, as if the memory had dulled with time, his eyes betrayed him—layer upon layer of loneliness filled them.

“When it snows, I remember that day.”

Moisture welled in his eyes. Perhaps because of the story, the sheen of his gaze overlapped with the image of a younger Yoonjae, starved of affection. Eunho held back the urge to reach out, to take his hand and comfort him. Yoonjae, sensing his look, gave a faint smile and exhaled quietly.

“I was never afraid of much in life, but when a truck barrels toward me now, I get scared.”

Of course he would. To lose his parents in a single day—what must it have been like inside his heart? With no siblings to share the grief, the trauma must have been larger and heavier than anyone could imagine.

Yoonjae slowly raised his brows and murmured,

“Actually, not long ago, I almost lost someone close to me in a truck accident too…… but fortunately, they survived.”

His gaze, still sunk in the wine glass moments before, now turned toward Eunho. Relief and worry mingled in the smile on his face. Eunho considered asking if it was a company employee, then shook his head. No matter how much he prioritized work, someone dear to him couldn’t just be an employee.

“That’s fortunate.”

When Eunho smiled faintly, Yoonjae’s eyes lingered on him, slowly trailing over his face.

“This time, I won’t let them slip away so easily.”

“……What?”

“I’m not going to just stand by and watch.”

Another cryptic remark froze Eunho’s expression, though it gradually relaxed again. It seemed there was a story behind his words. Not wanting to dwell and complicate things, Eunho raised the corners of his lips slightly, as if in agreement.

“Let’s get some sleep.”

“Go ahead.”

“I will.”

When Eunho moved to clear the empty glass and bottle, a hand stopped him.

“I’ll do it.”

His roughened voice rumbled low. Eunho stepped back, went to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water, and returned to his room. Even with his eyes closed, those deep, shadowed brown eyes loomed vividly before him, keeping sleep at bay.

 

***

 

The departure time was in the morning, so as soon as Eunho opened his eyes, he was too busy packing up to think of anything else. After a light breakfast at the hotel, they moved to the airport. Yoonjae, unlike usual, remained silent the entire way. Contrary to what Eunho had expected, he didn’t seem to be suffering from a hangover—he didn’t even smell of alcohol.

Once they completed the departure process and began walking toward the gate, Eunho’s eyes flicked toward the rows of luxury brand stores lining the hall.

When the wheels of his small carry-on suitcase suddenly stopped rolling, Yoonjae, who had been walking ahead, turned back and came closer.

“What are you staring at like that?”

“I was just looking at wallets.”

Eunho had the habit of buying something expensive but durable to use for a long time, so when it came to items like wallets or bags, he already had a few preferred brands. His feet naturally carried him inside when he spotted a store he liked.

“Pick one.”

“Ah… it’s not for me. A gift.”

Yoonjae, who had been watching with an intrigued expression, let out a small sigh and folded his arms when the word “gift” came out. Then he grabbed Eunho’s wrist, as if he already knew who the gift was for. His furrowed brow said everything without words.

“Don’t buy it.”

Eunho wanted to tell him not to interfere, but since he was on a business trip, he couldn’t just abandon his boss to do as he pleased. Pretending nothing had happened, Eunho gave up and turned away. Still, Yoonjae shot him a look full of suspicion before striding ahead toward the gate. Eunho wondered why he was so obsessed with meddling in other people’s private lives—was he like this when he still had a secretary?

Even flipping through the in-flight catalog, Eunho felt daggers shooting at him from Yoonjae’s eyes. Giving up, he pulled out his laptop, reviewed the investment contract once more, and checked the schedule for the next day. In hindsight, he thought maybe he shouldn’t have let slip that he had a boyfriend. But what was done was done.

By the time they left Incheon Airport, Choi Yoonjae’s persistence had reached its peak. He even took Eunho’s car keys so he couldn’t slip away elsewhere, insisting on driving him home. To Eunho, it felt like a warning—as if Yoonjae were saying he knew exactly where he would’ve gone, so he might as well surrender now. Flustered, Eunho couldn’t even thank him for the ride; he simply rushed inside his house.

“…Why is he so interested in someone else’s boyfriend?”

Muttering under his breath, Eunho shut the front door. It was ridiculous—he couldn’t say a word when Yoonjae was right there, yet here he was, grumbling alone at home.

[I just got home. I was too busy to buy the wallet, and I feel bad about it. Sorry. 4:15 PM]

After much hesitation, Eunho finally sent a message. But even after Hyunjun read it, there was no reply. Just as Eunho was about to head back out to the department store, wallet in hand, a message finally arrived—and it left him drained.

[Forget it, you said you were busy. Just don’t joke about things like that anymore. 4:17 PM]

“…The joke wasn’t mine. It was my boss’s.”

Not only was he now made out to be a liar, but the biting tone of the message made it sting even worse. Eunho tossed his phone onto the sofa and began unpacking.

Why was he letting himself be dragged around like this? If anything, Hyunjun was the one who should feel insecure, yet Eunho was the one clinging. Did Hyunjun truly not notice—or did he just pretend not to? Either way, nothing about their relationship was clear. It was fragile enough to sway at the slightest problem, with no certainty about the future.

Normally, Eunho would’ve gone running to Hyunjun, coaxing him until he lightened up, but he had no desire to do that now. He pulled a beer from the fridge, cracked it open, and took a sip. The bitterness drowned out the flavor, leaving only the sting of carbonation. After just one swallow, he poured the rest down the sink. A wave of sharp, heavy melancholy pressed over his entire body.