Ch 49

Ideun, having completely left the highway bustling with cars, carefully navigated the narrow road connecting villages, his fingertips continuously tapping on the steering wheel. The puzzle pieces that had been floating around without any clear shape were now coming together.

He needed to confirm everything through Ji-an, but if his assumptions based on the circumstances so far were correct, then an unimaginable picture was forming—one that a young Ji-an would have struggled to handle.

Of all places, why did he end up as a recipient of his family’s medical support? The medical appointment, which would have required months of waiting under normal circumstances, was newly arranged. The surgery date, the post-operative care—none of it was standard procedure.

And all of these events coincided with tens of millions of won being deposited into Ji-an’s account. If it were Secretary Baek, he would have been able to handle such matters at his discretion without reporting them to anyone.

The money was deposited, yet it was barely touched.
The apartment sold immediately after his aunt passed away.
The old, cramped officetel he rented alone, a home lacking even basic necessities.
A few sets of clothes, clean but worn and old.
A mindset that refused to accept others’ goodwill purely and insisted on repaying it somehow.
…A fear so intense that he would panic at dark places and closed doors, sobbing nightly from nightmares yet remaining unaware of it himself.

And yet, people assumed that the beginning of his downward spiral—meeting strangers, imprinting with an unknown alpha, obsessing over money, and living frivolously—was because of Secretary Baek?

Sometimes, he would smile brightly. When he was with Bobo, a warmth would shine through. Ji-an had probably always been the type to find joy in even the smallest things. Ideun recalled those small hands, full of tiny scars, proof of his struggle to achieve things through his own efforts.

At first, he had accepted Secretary Baek’s proposal without knowing any better. But hadn’t he tried to escape upon realizing how wrong it was? However, Secretary Baek would have forced compliance by brandishing a contract. Otherwise, there would have been no reason for Ji-an to leave money untouched in his account while choosing a difficult and painful life.

If that was Ji-an’s background, then what did Secretary Baek gain from pushing this forward? Did he take a cut under the table? But even then, the money he had already received from the old man couldn’t be considered insignificant.

Maybe this whole thing happened without the old man’s involvement. Secretary Baek could have easily conducted side deals without his knowledge.

Under Secretary Baek’s control, Ji-an had been trapped in an unwanted rut partner relationship. And recently, when Ji-an lost his usefulness, he was discarded. Perhaps, as a parting gift, he was sent on a vacation abroad.

After all those years of torment, what had Ji-an gained?
A body that was neither Omega nor Beta, broken beyond repair.
A few surgeries and treatments, yet his aunt had ultimately passed away.
And compared to all the suffering he had endured—an utterly insignificant sum of money.

Ideun’s tapping fingers came to a halt as he slammed his hand down on the steering wheel.

That fleeting smile, the way he sometimes looked at him, as if he could disappear at any moment. Now, he understood why Ji-an acted like he never wanted to be attached to anything.

That luxurious solo trip to France—it was probably the first and last moment of happiness he had planned for himself. And Ideun had ruined it. If only he hadn’t stepped away that morning, there would have been no need for this desperate search.

The money left on the table. The way Ji-an had spoken about repaying him the moment they met. The ten-thousand-won bills left behind after his departure.

As anger surged through him, Ideun clenched his fist, veins bulging starkly against the back of his hand.

If his suspicions were correct, it made perfect sense that Ji-an panicked at the sight of Secretary Baek and ran as far away as possible. Hiding so flawlessly wasn’t easy unless it had been meticulously planned. In a world where avoiding CCTV was nearly impossible, he had done exactly that.

Ji-an had disappeared at a bus stop where, conveniently, the surveillance cameras were broken. Whether it was intentional or not, there was a significant stretch of road where the CCTV had malfunctioned. He could have transferred to another bus somewhere along that stretch and left the East Sea region entirely.

While Ideun was struggling to figure things out, the people he had hired to find Ji-an were doing their job. They had compiled a list of all the possible bus routes from the malfunctioning bus stop.

“……”

Pulling over at the broken CCTV-covered stop, Ideun scanned the list carefully. The longer time passed, the more exponentially the number of possibilities increased. Ji-an might have already left the East Sea and reached a village at the southernmost tip of the country.

At this point, catching him at an airport using his passport might be the fastest way. But Ji-an’s passport was with him. And if he had planned this thoroughly, he wouldn’t attempt to leave the country anytime soon.

“Does he even know I’m looking for him?”

Ji-an had always denied and refused to accept his own emotions. He had drawn a clear line, treating their relationship as nothing more than something fleeting. Perhaps he believed Ideun wouldn’t come after him.

He had no intention of forcing Ji-an, who struggled with receiving attention, sharing time, and accepting emotions. He had thought that if he stayed by his side consistently, Ji-an would gradually open up. But…

Sitting in the car wasn’t going to get him anywhere. Ideun stepped out into the heavy snowfall.

Since this was a remote area, bus services stopped early. Had Ji-an sought shelter in one of the houses nearby? If he had spent the night outside, there would have been reports in the local news about an accident or worse.

It took less than thirty minutes to knock on every door in the small village, visit the tiny convenience store at the entrance, and buy a can of coffee.

After briefly updating his team on his whereabouts, Ideun got back in the car and headed toward the next village.

***

“Hey, kid.”

“Yes!”

Ji-an, who had been idly petting a calf’s head after being repeatedly shooed away by the elderly couple whenever he tried to help, quickly turned at the old man’s call.

Despite being only two weeks old, the calf was unbelievably strong. Ji-an had already lost his balance and fallen on his backside once when it eagerly lunged for its bottle. Since then, he had even fewer tasks to do.

Still, he couldn’t stop himself from playing with the calf’s soft, colorful earmuffs.

“Wanna go to town?”

“Is the snow okay?”

“It’s fine. The roads up ahead have been cleared.”

“Alright.”

It had already been four days since he arrived here. He hadn’t planned to stay this long, but he had been snowed in. And once he lay down on the heated floor, wrapped in a blanket, his body felt too warm and relaxed to move, and time had slipped away.

At first, he had been relieved not to have a phone. But by the third day, the isolation had begun to wear on him. With a few taps, he could have checked bus schedules and planned where to go next. Instead, he had done nothing but waste time.

There was no one to contact, and no one who would contact him. He might as well discard his old number and get a new one.

“Kid, hurry inside and get ready to leave.”

At the grandfather’s words, Ji-an quickly ran into the house and changed back into the clothes he had worn when he arrived. Feeling awkward, he fiddled with his clothes for no reason. Having worn something too large for his frame, with a loose fit around the waist, slipping into clothes that fit just right made him feel strangely uncomfortable.

Well, they are excessively expensive brands for someone like me.

Even if he sold just these secondhand, he could probably afford a used car.

“Oh dear, if you go out like that, you’ll catch a cold.”

He had only put on what he had worn before, yet seeing his appearance, the grandmother gasped in dismay. Ji-an let out a small laugh. Even though the coat was thin and lightweight, it was made of cashmere or something similar, making it unexpectedly warm.

Over his neat work attire, he layered the thick padded jacket the grandfather had given him, and around his neck, the grandmother wrapped a beautifully colored, hand-knitted scarf.

“Go buy him some warm clothes when you’re in town. Get him whatever he wants to eat, too. And on your way back, buy plenty of beef. I’ll make seaweed soup with lots of perilla seeds. And child, make sure to stop by the health center when you get to town. Why won’t that cold of yours go away?”

They knew his name was Ji-an, yet both of them naturally called him “child.” He couldn’t bring himself to correct them. Every time they did, it reminded him of someone who used to call him “baby,” but he consciously pushed the thought aside.

“Drive carefully. The roads are slippery, so when you—”

“Oh, enough with the nagging. We’ll handle it. Just go inside.”

Sitting in the grandfather’s truck, Ji-an smiled as he watched the grandmother continue fussing over them, only for the grandfather to finally speak up. They were both so endearing. They grumbled about nagging, yet all of it stemmed from their love for each other.

How wonderful it would be to spend a lifetime cherishing one another like this.

But a life like that was far from his own. Ji-an tightened his seatbelt. As he gazed at the snow piled on the trees and fields along the road to town, he let out a quiet sigh.

He hated the cold.

Once he left the grandparents, he would be alone again—and even colder.

But he knew this wasn’t where he belonged. He had to be on his own. He couldn’t linger any longer. Before he got too attached, before it became too hard to leave, he needed to check the bus schedule today and take the first bus out tomorrow.

Arriving at the rural market with the grandfather, Ji-an didn’t have time to think about anything else. Contrary to the grandfather’s concerns that there might not be many people due to the heavy snowfall, the market was bustling.

With all sorts of jeon, liquor, puffed snacks, and other treats, it was a paradise for Ji-an, who preferred small snacks over full meals. It wasn’t the mass-produced taste of certified conglomerates that he loved, but the unique flavors that depended on the hands that made them.

“Wow!”

“Finally feeling like eating something?”

…I’ve always had a bit of an appetite. It’s just that Grandmother kept feeding me without a break, so I couldn’t eat much more.

His eyes had unknowingly lit up, but at the grandfather’s words, Ji-an let out an embarrassed laugh. He had insisted that Grandmother’s cooking was delicious enough, yet now he and the grandfather were already making their way through the food stalls.

“Here, give me a small portion of fried chicken.”

Without even asking Ji-an, the grandfather handed him a small cup of fried chicken from a stall that looked just like a fried chicken shop.

“You have such a small stomach. I can’t buy you anything too heavy. Just think of it as sampling a little of everything.”

As Ji-an reached for the thin wooden skewer sticking out of the chicken, his cheekbones lifted slightly. What would have happened if he hadn’t met the grandfather and grandmother in the midst of all that chaos? Though the grandfather seemed gruff, Ji-an could feel the warmth in his small gestures. He couldn’t bring himself to refuse their kindness or feel burdened by it—it would feel like an insult.

“Thank you for the food.”

With that, Ji-an looped his arm around the grandfather’s and held up a piece of chicken to his mouth.

“Oh, you eat it. I don’t need any.”

“Why not~? It’s really good.”

“I’m fine.”

“If you don’t eat first, then I won’t eat either.”

“Fried food is for the young. When you get old, it just sits heavy in your stomach…”

Only after he successfully got the grandfather to take a bite did Ji-an finally eat one himself. Crispy and warm, fresh from the fryer, the fried chicken melted in his mouth.

By the time they finished the small portion, Ji-an found a cold lemonade in his hands.

“It’s freezing outside, and you go for something this chilly…”

“Do you want some too?”

“No, no. That’s too sour for me.”

Linking his arm with the grandfather’s, Ji-an followed as he greeted acquaintances at the market. He bowed his head in greeting whenever the grandfather stopped to exchange a few words.

“This is my grandchild.”

Each time someone asked who Ji-an was, the grandfather would answer without hesitation. Ji-an’s large eyes trembled slightly. His chest tightened, and just when he felt like he might tear up, another treat was placed in his hands.

On top of that, the vendors began handing him snacks without even taking money, commenting on how handsome and pretty he was.

Since everything was food, he took a few bites, but as his stomach filled, he could no longer eat. Eventually, the grandfather ended up holding onto several colorful plastic bags instead.

“Hold on. My wife told me to buy you some warm clothes. But this place doesn’t carry what you usually wear… Would that be okay?”

“Grandfather, I’m fine. The clothes I have are warm enough. And since I ride in cars, I don’t really get cold.”

Having passed all the food stalls, Ji-an rejected something for the first time since arriving at the market.

“Are you planning to leave?”