Ch 16

Drive aimlessly until you feel like stopping. If there’s a café open late, go in for a warm tea. If there isn’t, grab a canned coffee from a convenience store. When you’re tired, stop by a nearby lodging place to rest. If you’re hungry, go to a 24-hour restaurant for a simple meal. Enjoying the solitude of the world by yourself—well, with Bobo—was also an option.

Thinking he was entirely alone, Ji-an broke into a soft smile at the thought of Bobo. Then he thought about bringing Bobo’s litter box, snacks, food, toys… Maybe a camper van would be better? The more Ji-an’s thoughts grew, the brighter his eyes and the softer his smile became. Suddenly, he remembered the musk scent.

The musk scent from that morning when he had secretly stolen a kiss from someone as they slept. It was warm and gentle, just like the warmth of his chest and the calm sound of his breathing. Ji-an wanted to know more about his pheromones when he wasn’t in rut.

Although it had exhausted and hurt him so much, he was already addicted to the pleasure he had felt in his embrace. Though it usually ended with him losing consciousness, there were rare times when he woke up before Baek Sanghoon arrived to pick him up. At those times, that man would hold him like he was something precious and intoxicate him with that warm pheromone he missed so much. That’s what it was—being enchanted. Or maybe it was something else?

Sometimes, he wouldn’t let him go, so Baek Sanghoon would call someone else to give him a sedative. Throughout this, Ji-an always pretended to be unconscious or asleep.

As Ji-an absentmindedly rubbed his forehead against the cold window, he found himself looking at Ideun. Musk. Maybe he was imagining it because he kept thinking about that scent? Though he knew Ideun’s pheromone was woody, he still looked at him, as if he might catch a hint of it.

Then, feeling a sudden chill, Ji-an straightened up. The car window on the driver’s side was open wide, letting the cold winter wind rush in, blowing his hair roughly as he sat in the back seat.

“Meow!”

Bobo’s indignant cry blended with the fierce sound of the wind, as if he’d woken up from the cold and noise.

“Are you hot, hyung?” Haneul asked Ideun, seemingly just as startled.

“The air was a bit stuffy, so I opened the window.”

Though it wasn’t for long, the car’s air was completely refreshed, erasing all traces of the woody and apple scents, replaced by the unique smell of winter.

“Oh, right. But give us a heads-up next time. That was surprising. Did you wake up too, kitty? Your eyes are so pretty.”

“Hissss…”

Unlike Haneul’s calm voice, Bobo was hissing with all his might. The rude awakening clearly annoyed him, and his naturally prickly temperament wasn’t helping either. He seemed like a sweet cat but was actually quite picky.

“Why~? I’m just saying you’re cute.”

“Hiss…”

“Get ready to get out, we’re almost there.”

At Ideun’s indifferent comment, Ji-an took Bobo from Haneul, knowing it was time for him, the side character, to disappear.

After a few kisses on Bobo’s forehead and cuddles to calm him down, Ji-an carefully placed him in the carrier, knowing the cat’s limits for tolerance.

When the car gently stopped, Ji-an, holding the carrier close, wrapped his scarf around himself and looked out the window.

Wait, this isn’t my house. Ideun definitely knew where Ji-an lived, so he had just parked on the roadside.

Am I supposed to walk from here? Or just figure it out myself? And where even is here?

Ji-an looked for the door handle in the back seat, but then a gust of cold wind entered as Ideun opened the door, making him hug the carrier tighter.

“Leave Bobo for now.”

Confused but complying, Ji-an stepped out of the car, only to find himself standing inside a 24-hour pharmacy.

“…”

“…”

Late at night, in a pharmacy visited mostly by those in urgent need, Ji-an found himself the subject of curious stares from the pharmacist and Ideun.

“Cold medicine, fever reducers… what else would be good?”

Why the cold medicine and fever reducers? Is someone sick? Hesitantly touching his forehead as if to figure it out, Ji-an looked up at Ideun, who was gesturing for him to hurry up and answer.

How does he know?

If he stayed somewhere cold for too long, his forehead would be chilly. If he sat by a heater, it would feel warm. With his hand still resting on his forehead, he was about to shake his head, thinking the illness would pass with some rest with Bobo. Then Ideun removed Ji-an’s hand and pressed his own large hand to Ji-an’s forehead.

How can someone’s hand be this big? It didn’t just cover his forehead but even his eyes, blocking his view of Ideun’s face. His hand felt cool—not cold but pleasantly cool—and the woody scent lingering around him grew a bit stronger.

“Could you add a thermometer as well?”

With a plastic bag full of all sorts of over-the-counter medicines—cold medicine, fever reducers, cough syrups, night cold medicine to take before bed, pain relievers, digestive aids, various-sized bandages, and round patches—Ji-an was led out of the pharmacy by Ideun and then found himself in a convenience store next door.

Ji-an watched Ideun’s back as he quietly filled a basket with tangerines, bananas, fresh-squeezed orange juice, apple juice, pear juice, ready-made porridge, soup, and other simple foods.

“Anything else you want to eat?”

“No, with just what we bought now, I think I could last a month.” 

Standing idly like a background decoration, Ji-an found himself confused by Ideun’s actions. A short while later, he was left standing in front of his apartment door, isolated. As expected, he had Bobo’s carrier slung across his shoulder, the transparent carrier wrapped snugly in a scarf to keep Bobo warm, even for a brief moment outside. In one hand, Ji-an held a bag from the pharmacy; by his feet was another bag from the convenience store.

“…Wow, seriously. Main character interactions are on another level. If I didn’t know he was the main character, I’d totally be swooning.”

After briefly answering Haneul’s question of “What did you buy?” with “Things we need,” Ideun had left him right at the entrance of Ji-an’s apartment, not outside the building.

“Yeah, I’ve got a fever. That’s gotta be it; otherwise…” 

Feeling the sudden warmth on his face and the thudding of his heart, Ji-an leaned his forehead against the cold door. The sudden chill made him cough almost instinctively.

* * *

“Hey, if you’re free, how about a drive? It’s nice taking the scenic route along the Han River.”

Ideun briefly glanced at Haneul, who had struck up a cheerful conversation, then turned his gaze forward. A short while ago, he had cracked the window for some fresh air as an excuse to vent Haneul’s gradually released pheromones from the car.

“No Haneul.”

“Yes?”

“The old woman said something strange earlier. Know anything about that?”

Ideun didn’t care whom he ended up marrying. He wasn’t the type to dwell on things like destiny or love, so having someone by his side wouldn’t make much difference. Haneul had all the qualities the old woman would like to see in a partner. 

A well-bred, young, healthy male omega.

A partner who could fill his family’s home with the sounds of children. 

Whenever he saw Ideun, Haneul would smile sweetly, speak gently, and show affection in a way that was…charming. Being the only child of a wealthy family, who had likely grown up surrounded by love, especially after presenting as an omega, Haneul must have lived a life with minimal troubles. Ideun could easily imagine him continuing to live that way.

In keeping with both families’ wishes, they’d sign a contract before the wedding, have children, and live as a privileged couple, like other alphas and omegas of high status. This plan might’ve been easy enough to follow—if not for that one person who’d shown up unexpectedly.

Constantly messing with his mind, pulling his thoughts in every direction, and just the idea of it left him feeling strangled.

Ji-an always looked tense and uneasy around him, though he never made an effort to win Ideun’s favor. At times, he seemed cautious, yet when he spoke, his words were always clear and frank. 

Rather than the usual gifts or compliments other people would use to try to gain his favor, Ji-an always left some sort of small mark, some tangible trace, after each meeting. Ideun remembered how, after Ji-an had left some cash on the hotel table once, it felt as if he’d been struck in the head. Another time, he’d left a ten-thousand won bill on the passenger seat—laughably ridiculous.

Ideun couldn’t refuse Ji-an’s awkward offer to treat him to a meal, especially after Ji-an had insisted, ‘You brought me somewhere nice, so it’s only fair I pay.’ So Ideun had instructed his staff to charge him a reasonable amount Ji-an could afford without noticing.

‘Did you not like the food?’

Ji-an had asked, looking genuinely concerned as he picked at his own dish, merely eating a bit of porridge.

Ji-an was lacking in so many ways for someone Ideun could see by his side. Judging by his actions, Ji-an was well aware of this. But still, why did it bother him so much?

The coughs that had interrupted their time together, the uneaten food—it all grated at him, digging beneath his skin. Even though he was right there, Ji-an seemed totally absorbed in his cat, barely sparing Ideun a glance.

“I can’t do anything about that,” Haneul said, breaking into his thoughts. Ideun exhaled sharply, realizing how tightly he’d been clenching his jaw. At some point, he’d even forgotten Haneul was sitting beside him.

“I don’t know what’s being discussed behind my back, but I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why? Grandma likes me, your parents, too. Both families benefit from this connection, so what better match is there? Your grandma was worried, so I even got a full health check. Other than some mild anemia, I’m perfectly fine. The doctor just recommended iron-rich foods instead of supplements.”

“No Haneul.”

The sight of Haneul’s glistening eyes, tearing up and sniffling as he looked at him, made Ideun feel a headache coming on.

“If I’d known it was you, I wouldn’t have kept avoiding those arranged dates, or my mom’s advice! I only kept running away because I didn’t know it’d be you!”

“…You’re still young. There’s a lot you want to do and experience. Do those things first. One day, you’ll find someone who truly loves you and who you love. Don’t do what your family wants—do what *you* want.”

“But I like you so much!” Haneul shouted. “It’s not like I chose to be born younger than you! It’s not fair to just say I’m too young.”

When the traffic light turned red, Ideun stopped the car and looked over at Haneul, who now clutched a handkerchief, wiping his tears as he sulked, glaring at Ideun in protest.

As he fidgeted with the handkerchief, he murmured, “Hyung, can’t you at least give me a chance?”

With a sigh, Ideun ran his fingers through his hair. Haneul had always been polite and well-mannered; his tear-streaked face and red-rimmed eyes looked objectively endearing, his voice full of affection.

But…

He couldn’t help but think of that other person, staring blankly, a tiny pink spoon in his mouth, ice cream smeared across his lips. That same person who’d wiped it off with his sleeve and, when asked for his number, casually gave the wrong one.

“So, you’re saying you’re willing to marry because it’s what the adults want?”

Haneul nodded, and tears fell from his eyes again. Clearly, he had been carefully influenced, given no say in the matter. Since childhood, he had probably heard that he should meet a capable alpha from a good family, live a life full of love, and enjoy a happy home. This world was filled with hollow, pretentious ideals just like that.

But while Haneul had wholeheartedly embraced those expectations and, seeing Ideun’s appearance, allowed his dreams to take hold, Ideun had no intention of doing the old woman’s bidding. He’d sooner see his elder drop dead than comply.

“Marry someone who loves you, and whom you love back. I’m not as kind or considerate as you think.”

“Then I just need to be good enough for you.”

Good enough… Is that what it would take to fix this?

In the middle of their exchange, the traffic light turned green, and a car horn sounded from behind. With a click of his tongue, Ideun stepped on the accelerator.

“We’ve barely even spent time together,” Haneul murmured. “Maybe if we do, your feelings will change. Let’s just go out ten times.”

“Some things can’t be forced.”

“Then… just wait for me a little longer. I’ll talk to our families myself.”

“Nothing good will come of it.”

“Then what about me? It’s unfair if everything’s up to you, without any consideration for me.”

“Two weeks.”

“One month…”

Unwilling to waste more energy on this conversation, Ideun simply turned up the volume of the music. Soon enough, he’d have to meet with the elders anyway. Talking to her would wrap things up faster.