PAO 37

Questions like “How much did you hear?” would only be an evasion, so he just confronted it directly. He would probably ask why I hid it.

Then what would I answer? I hadn’t really decided on an answer. I had only imagined when I would be the one to tell him, not what I would say when I got caught.

Emotions were slowly spreading across Junghoo’s previously expressionless face.

It was a smile of relief.

Relief?

Why did Junghoo’s smile feel that way?

“There you are. What a relief.”

“What do you mean, a relief?”

Seowon looked at Junghoo’s expression as if he couldn’t understand.

“I thought you left first.”

Junghoo approached with a pretty smile. And the process of him taking his hand was as natural as flowing water.

“Let’s go.”

Seowon couldn’t resist the force with which Junghoo led him.

He walked hand in hand with Junghoo. He didn’t ask where they were going. They just walked and walked along the beach. They walked in silence, and then at some point, as if by agreement, they stopped.

Seowon looked at the side profile of Junghoo, who was looking at the sea. It wasn’t the expression of someone who had been waiting for him to become an Omega.

“Does it not bother you?”

“What does.”

“You were waiting for me to present.”

“Did I?”

When Junghoo acted as if he couldn’t remember, Seowon kindly brought up the words he had heard before.

“‘Their family has secondary genders, so he’ll present too. Fuck. I’m waiting so fucking desperately, but he’s not presenting, and it’s suffocatingly frustrating, you know? Don’t fucking confirm the kill.’”

It was probably the day he said he had bought him after lending money to his father.

“…”

He had only repeated what Junghoo had said, but he frowned and turned his head away.

“Weren’t you planning to devour me the moment I presented? Like asking me out or starting with sleeping together…”

“Stop.”

Junghoo cut him off.

“Is that not it?”

“Seowon, what I said back then wasn’t really about doing something to you, but…”

“So it’s not? I guess it was all a lie.”

“I don’t lie. I just imagined the day you would become an Omega. I imagined the day we would both smell each other’s pheromones, and I wanted to live happily ever after.”

“What is that.”

He asked if he wasn’t planning on doing all sorts of things if he presented, but a strange answer came back. Junghoo was slowly starting to get frustrating. Before, he was annoying because he hid his true feelings with nonsense, but now, his pretense of not understanding anything was detestable.

“I thought you would surely pounce on me if it wasn’t for treatment purposes?”

“I was wrong.”

Junghoo said with a faint smile. He grimaces as if he’s in a difficult situation, forcing the corners of his mouth up into a smile, yet he doesn’t offer any excuses.

The situation was ridiculous, where the one who hid the secret was confident, and the one who was deceived was sorry.

“But why is your reaction so nonexistent. You should be going crazy with joy.”

“Um…”

Junghoo’s eyes lowered, his long eyelashes casting a shadow. Perhaps because of that, his mood became more shy than his usual bubbly self.

What the. Why is your face turning red.

“I’ve had those kinds of imaginations many times.”

“Don’t tell me you’re imagining it right now too? Am I stark naked in your head?”

“No.”

Junghoo quickly lifted his head and shook it vehemently. In the process, he seemed to have moved too forcefully, as he grimaced slightly and pressed his temples.

“I’m just saying I only imagined it. Honestly… I was hoping you wouldn’t present.”

Seowon, who had been listening to Junghoo’s words, frowned. Where did the bastard who said he hoped he would present go?

“I was hoping you wouldn’t be able to feel any pheromones from me.”

Junghoo’s thumb seems to stroke the inside of his wrist, then slowly moves away.

“You…”

Seowon looked at his wrist. It was just him letting go of his hand, but he couldn’t shake the strange feeling. What is this.

“You’ve seen and heard things from the side, so you must know my illness is related to my secondary gender, right? It’s Syndrome of Inappropriate Pheromone Secretion.”

Junghoo nonchalantly searched for something on his cell phone and then shoved it in front of Seowon’s eyes.

It was a difficult phrase written as Syndrome of Inappropriate Pheromone Secretion (SIPH). No matter how hard he stared at it, he couldn’t immediately grasp its meaning.

“Among those, I’m particularly excessive. My pheromone secretion level is in the top 1% even among those who suffer from the same syndrome.”

“Is that something to be proud of?”

He wanted to know the reason why he was suddenly telling him his diagnosis now. In truth, he also said it evasively to look away, as he felt he already knew why Junghoo was mentioning it.

“Secreting a lot of pheromones means I can’t control it all. It’s too big to ignore my will. That’s why you can’t be next to me.”

It’s dangerous, Junghoo’s silent, moving lips were saying that.

“What do you mean, don’t be next to me. You…”

This time, Seowon reached out his hand to grab Junghoo. However, Junghoo took a step back, and his hand only brushed past his wrist, failing to catch it.

Seowon stopped talking and looked down at his hand. His empty hand felt awkward. And his heart felt empty because he felt like he knew how this situation would flow.

“I wanted to be by your side, even if only for a few days.”

Yoo Junghoo was saying goodbye to him right now.

“I missed you, so I got greedy in a way I shouldn’t have.”

Junghoo was gradually increasing the distance. Seowon was the one being rejected, but it was Junghoo who had the hurt look in his eyes.

Looking at Junghoo like that, Seowon dropped his hand. It had lost its destination since he had failed to grab the Junghoo he was trying to hold. Seowon recalled all the time they had spent together from when Junghoo appeared before him until now.

The returned Junghoo had only told Seowon silly jokes to prevent things from turning into a serious atmosphere. At the time, he thought he was doing it because he was a crazy kid, but that wasn’t it.

“What a real son of a bitch, this guy.”

Seowon spat out a curse through his tightly clenched teeth and balled his fists. And he strode purposefully toward Junghoo, who was trying to keep putting distance between them.

The sand pulled at his feet, making him push off the ground with more force. With each and every step, Seowon’s irritation, dissatisfaction, disbelief, and disappointment were mixed.

Knowing what Junghoo was thinking when he came to find him made him even angrier.

“So you came because you felt like you would die if you didn’t see me, but even that, you were planning to just up and leave. No wonder the kid had not a shred of seriousness…”

‘So that’s why I’m waiting right now. Their family has secondary genders, so he’ll present too. Fuck. I’m waiting so fucking desperately, but he’s not presenting, and it’s suffocatingly frustrating, you know? Don’t fucking confirm the kill.’

It meant he was going to leave the moment he presented, not that he was going to fuck him in his hole.

“How I feel watching you, how much of a mess my life has become because of you—none of that matters, does it.”

He had gotten used to a life without Junghoo, but he shows up as he pleases and stirs things up, and now he was planning to disappear again…

“Seowon, there was never a time you weren’t important to me. It’s just, it had been so long since I’d seen you that it became hard to picture you whenever I wanted to, and your face kept getting blurry, so I was afraid I would forget you completely.”

“Wow, that’s moving enough to bring me to tears.”

Seowon pressed down hard on his eyelids. It seemed as if he was trying to hold back tears by doing so, but they both knew well that it wasn’t sincere.

“Since you moved me so much, I’ll do one thing too.”

Seowon closed in on Junghoo. At that, Junghoo’s eyes widened in surprise at his sudden action. Seowon grabbed the collar of the flinching Junghoo and pulled him right in front of his eyes.

“You can’t disappear again.”

His own face reflected in Junghoo’s pupils is completely distorted.

“You already did it once, so if you disappear this time, do you think I’ll just say, ‘Alright, goodbye,’ and let you go?”

What a joke. Being abandoned twice is something I’ll pass on.

“I was an Omega from the start, so what are you going to do about the harm you caused me before that?”

“I’m sorry. Tell me what you want, and I’ll grant it all.”

“Wow, you really sound like you’ll grant it all. It seems like you’d kneel if I told you to, and you’d give up your entire fortune with a smile if I told you to.”

He had said it mockingly after seeing Junghoo’s resigned expression, but he didn’t deny it. He really had the air that he wouldn’t mind giving up anything, be it his knees or his fortune.

“Yes. I will do everything. If you want my life, I will die right here.”

“It’s no fun if you come out like that.”

Seowon didn’t want to grant Junghoo’s wish. He had no intention of granting it in the first place, but now a stubbornness arose in him that he wouldn’t grant it even if he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Seowon gave Junghoo a challenging smile.

“You said you would grant everything.”

It’s troublesome if you act like you’ll give me your all. How do you know what I’ll demand.

Silence descended in the car for the entire ride up to Seoul. Seowon kept his gaze fixed out the window, and Junghoo, likewise, did not look back at Seowon.

They had been arguing before, but after their trip to the sea, their relationship, far from improving, had reached an even greater extreme. In between them, Seong Hangyeol silently focused only on driving and arrived at their destination.

“We’re here.”

As soon as Seong Hangyeol’s words ended, Seowon opened the door and got out.

“Thank you for the ride.”

Seowon only greeted Seong Hangyeol and went into his house. The way he didn’t give Junghoo a single glance made it clear he was properly angry.

Seong Hangyeol tapped the steering wheel and looked at Junghoo, who still hadn’t gotten out. His furrowed brow and fists clenched so tightly that his bones protruded showed his poor physical condition.

“As soon as I found out Han Seowon was a dominant Omega, I thought I understood why you went to find him…”

He had rejected all Omegas until now, so when he heard he was a dominant Omega who had undergone pheromone training, he thought he might have gone, clutching at straws.

So, Seong Hangyeol’s intention to tell Seowon to be careful had gradually changed during the time they traveled up from the countryside.

Junghoo controlled and controlled himself to not let out his pheromones. Considering that they were already excessively secreted and he had kept them all inside his body, the pain must have been considerable. Yet, Junghoo endured until the end so as not to let them leak out to Seowon.

“It makes me think, maybe you really went just because you missed him.”

Junghoo released his clenched fist and covered his eyes with his hand. He was currently mired in self-loathing and couldn’t hear Seong Hangyeol’s words. The thought that Seowon might have felt his pheromones all this time made him hate himself.

A terrible thing had happened to an Omega because of his pheromones, and the thought that Seowon could have gone through the exact same thing was horrifying.

He shouldn’t have come from the start. He should have just missed him until he died.