PAO 25

“Seowon, you’re really the only one for me…”

It was a small whisper, like a candle flame in the wind. Everything had gone wrong, starting with his presentation.

If he hadn’t seen an omega collapse because of his pheromones, he would have gone to Seowon and explained his situation. But at that moment, the only thought he had was, ‘I must never, ever expose Seowon to my pheromones.’ There were even times when he wished Seowon would never present at all. He hadn’t known then that he could only make all those wishes under the assumption that he could appear before Seowon.

Even after becoming an alpha, Junghoo still couldn’t be discharged from the hospital. As time passed, the pheromones attacking his body remained the same, and he couldn’t have any omegas around him. Problems arose every time he walked around, so he had to transfer to a hospital in the provinces as if he were running away.

He couldn’t go to high school because he was receiving treatment, so he took the qualification exam. He could only attend his university lectures online.

Seowon’s face would pop into his head dozens of times a day. He thought of Seowon even when he saw omegas running away from his pheromones, and he thought of Seowon even when he had examination lines attached all over his body.

If I contact him, I’ll have to tell him about my condition. Can I tell him? …No. I can’t.

Because he had disappeared without a word like that, Seowon was wary of him when he suddenly reappeared. Everything had happened while he was hospitalized, or after he was discharged without finding a solution.

Going to see Seowon was close to an impulse. Feeling that his body was reaching its limit, he thought he could not put it off any longer.

Now that he realized it wouldn’t be strange if he collapsed at any moment, he wanted to see Seowon. So he went to find him where he was.

Standing in front of Seowon, who was humming with a face flushed from drinking, Junghoo couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Seeing the face he had longed to see just once before he died, it was hard to control his overwhelming emotions.

‘Yoo Junghoo?’

At Seowon’s question as he looked right at his face, Junghoo wanted to start by saying he had missed him.

‘It’s been a while.’

He forcibly suppressed the surging emotions and greeted him.

‘Oh, yeah. What a coincidence, meeting you here.’

Seowon’s awkward reply came out. He wanted to say that it wasn’t a coincidence, that he had come looking for him, but the words wouldn’t come out. The subtle wariness he could feel in his eyes.

He had once been his closest friend, but now they had become distant. It was all his fault for leaving without a word, so Junghoo didn’t even have the right to feel resentful.

‘Have you been well?’

Seowon only nodded his head and didn’t come closer. Instead, it was Junghoo who closed the distance.

‘This is the first time you’ve seen me after I presented as an alpha, right?’

‘I guess so?’

‘What do you think?’

‘It suits you.’

After that insincere reply, Seowon lowered his gaze to the tips of his sneakers. Watching him needlessly scuff the floor, Junghoo felt like his nerves were about to wear away.

Aren’t you curious about anything, even though I said I presented as an alpha?
I’m curious if you’re still a beta, but won’t you tell me?
Can’t you just get angry at me for disappearing without a word?

His mind was in a tangle with all sorts of thoughts. Seowon lifted his head and was about to say goodbye. They had run into each other by chance, so they’d exchanged greetings, and now it was time to part ways—seeing that look in his eyes, Junghoo felt a sense of regret.

He didn’t want to let Seowon go now that they had met again. He wanted to hold onto him somehow, so he blurted out whatever came to mind.

‘Did you know your dick changes when you become an alpha? Want to see? It got a lot bigger…’

‘…’

Why did he end up saying something like that? He had said it because he remembered something someone had chattered about after he mentioned presenting as an alpha.

‘I don’t want to see it, so keep it nicely tucked away.’

Seowon was dumbfounded but played along. As he approached with a rather serious look in his eyes, the awkward atmosphere eased. This is working?

Come to think of it, Seowon hated this kind of thing. Even when they were young, whenever he showed his feelings for him, Seowon would be genuinely repulsed. He’d thought, ‘I’m just expressing my affection, why does he hate it so much?’ and had toned it down, but he was still the same. He was still the same… and that was a relief.

‘You really don’t want to see it?’

‘Sigh, when the grim reaper comes for me at 70, I’ll tell him I’ll go after I’ve seen your dick. Happy now?’

The tiny hope that had settled in Junghoo’s heart began to swell up, growing larger and larger.

‘Can you wait until you’re 70?’

‘Yep. So absolutely do not show it to me.’

Seeing Seowon retort even while looking disgusted, Junghoo beamed with a smile full of glee. He hadn’t been able to find a way to get closer to Seowon, but the answer was surprisingly close by. He just had to reveal his feelings like he did back when he first started talking and expressing his affection for Seowon. Feeling like he was starting over, Junghoo couldn’t hide his smile.

‘Why are you grinning like that? Don’t tell me you’re going to drop your pants right here?’

I want to bare my heart and show you everything. That I missed you… that I’m glad I got to see you before I die.

You shouldn’t drink when you’re sick. You’re already weak, so pouring alcohol on top of that is a recipe for disaster.

“This bastard right here is the bastard who doesn’t even know that basic fact.”

Seowon, walking with Junghoo on his back, grumbled in a voice that sounded like he could drop dead at any moment. The blood sausage soup was just an excuse. He had mentioned a dish that Junghoo loathed, but since he had followed along so readily, he had just ducked into an ordinary pub. He had figured it would be fine for Yoo Junghoo to have one more drink since he already smelled of alcohol, but that had been Seowon’s bitter mistake. With one drink, just one drink, Junghoo had muttered that same line to himself over and over and then abruptly collapsed. He wouldn’t wake up no matter how many times Seowon tried, so he ended up having to carry him on his back.

“Everyone, if you happen to see a bastard who looks like this in a pub…”

Out of breath, Seowon paused for a moment and hitched the limp Junghoo up on his back. In the aftermath of almost being found out earlier, he had drunk alcohol like water, so his own legs felt like they were about to snap like twigs at any moment.

“Tell him to go home instead of boozing. Hah… And don’t hit on him.”

As soon as he arrived home, his body, having reached its limit, collapsed forward.

Before he could even writhe from the pain of his knees hitting the floor, his head was plummeting towards it. Since he was bearing Junghoo’s full weight, he just half-gave up, closed his eyes tightly, and collapsed limply.

So this is how my forehead gets cracked open.

“…”

The moment he felt something warm cup his forehead, he felt no pain. His two hands were holding onto Junghoo, so the hand on his forehead had to belong to someone else… Seowon glared at Junghoo with utterly exhausted eyes.

“This bastard…”

He was conscious, but he let me carry him all the way here.

“That was a comfortable ride, Seowon.”

Junghoo flipped Seowon’s body around and lifted him into his arms.

“Let’s call this even for the piggyback ride.”

“…But I don’t want to.”

Why are you calling it even with a princess carry? Give me money. With money…

Seowon looked up at Junghoo with hazy eyes. He planned to move once he roughly got his strength back, but right now, he didn’t want to lift a single finger.

Junghoo, who had laid him down on the sofa, stood up with a clear face.

“Aren’t you thirsty?”

“I’m thirsty.”

Now that he asked, he was suddenly thirsty. Seowon just wet his dry lips, and a gentle reply came back.

“Wait. I’ll get it for you.”

Seowon looked at him with a suspicious expression. Why is he acting so normal?

“Where was the water…”

Junghoo spun around in the living room. He was acting like he was looking for the kitchen after entering someone else’s house.

“Is it over there?”

And seeing the direction he was sauntering towards, Seowon pushed himself up with his hands on the sofa.

“Hey…”

He was speechless.

“That’s my room.”

Even after hearing Seowon tell him to cut the crap, Junghoo didn’t stop walking.

“It must be in here.”

“Don’t go in. I said don’t go in…”

Seowon tried to get up but staggered, lost his balance, and sat back down. It was even more annoying because this was all because he had carried that guy while drunk.

“Yoo Junghoo, I told you not to go into someone else’s room without permission. Did you forget you signed a contract?”

“I was just looking to see if there was any water. To get you a drink.”

Seowon’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“Does that make any sense?”

Junghoo shrugged and pointed a finger at Seowon’s room.

“I looked under the bed, behind the curtains, and in that empty space over there, but there’s nothing.”

“…What are you talking about.”

Seowon’s gaze followed the places Junghoo was pointing to one by one, and he spoke in a slightly choked voice. It sounded like he was chiding Junghoo, but the end of Seowon’s voice came out a little cracked.

Getting off the sofa, Seowon stood in front of his room and pulled on Junghoo’s arm.

“I’ll get my own water. You can go.”

“You will? Okay, then.”

Junghoo, who came out obediently, patted Seowon on the shoulder.

“Thanks for your hard work carrying me.”

“Don’t you ever pretend to be drunk again. I’ll leave you behind next time.”

As Junghoo passed by him, Seowon failed to notice his dark, deep gaze.

‘Under the bed… behind the curtains…’

Those were not words he could just ignore. It was as if he were implying that he was hiding something…

‘Did he find out?’

Is he saying he knows about the suppressants hidden under the bed?

“What are you thinking about?”

Seowon flinched at the coldness that touched his cheek. This happened because he had lost track of Junghoo’s presence while looking around his room.

“I brought you water.”

“I told you I’d get it myself…”

He’d said “okay,” so why did he bring water? Seowon looked at Junghoo, then took the cup of water and drank.

“What? Did you fall for me all over again because I’m handsome and I even take good care of you?”

Seowon tossed the water cup into his hands as if to entrust it to him.

“I’m looking at a son of a bitch who didn’t keep his promise, a bastard, a bastard who treats promises like water, this absolute piece of trash.”

Seeing Junghoo’s bewildered expression, he slammed the door shut.

“Does he know or not?”

This is so confusing.

“One thing’s for sure, his pervert level is maxed out.”

Seowon muttered to himself as he entered the lecture hall. He still couldn’t forget what happened yesterday.

“Who. Yoo Junghoo?”

Seowon stared at Minhee without a word. Had I talked about Yoo Junghoo that much to him? I’d never even said what I thought of Yoo Junghoo, so how did he know?