PA 45

Without realizing it, Yejun caressed the screen with his fingertips. Teardrops fell pattering onto Yejun’s pale cheeks.

Absolutely not.

He didn’t have the courage to see him again. When he saw Junhyuk, he was reminded of Sanghyeon.

I have to let them both go.

Yejun hurriedly closed the file. He even tried to press the delete button, but he just couldn’t muster the courage.

“Phew…”

Yejun roughly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and began to read the concert tour schedule in detail.

☂︎

Today again, Yejun devoted himself to concert stage practice until the very end. The members were all worried about Yejun’s health, but they couldn’t break his stubbornness. Suho, the leader, also thought it was better than Yejun just holing up in his room and not coming out, so he spoke to him.

“Yejun, aren’t you overdoing it? Take it easy and rest once in a while.”

“Suho hyung, I’m not getting this part right. Can you show me the choreography for this part one more time?”

Suho had gone to try and stop Yejun, but before he knew it, he was explaining the choreography to him in more detail.

“Look at my movements as I break down the beat of this part into even smaller halves. Then you’ll understand it right away.”

“Ah, so that’s what it was. It felt weird because I was trying to do these two moves in one beat.”

“That’s right.”

Yejun watched Suho’s movements intently and then, with a look of complete understanding, gave a soft smile. Suho ruffled Yejun’s hair and checked the time.

“Alright, alright! Time’s up. Practice ends here for today. Anyone who stays behind to practice more gets a fine.”

Suho shouted resolutely, particularly glaring at Yejun, and all the members except Yejun deliberately answered even louder. Yejun seemed a bit resentful that practice time was over just when he had finally understood the choreography and wanted to get it into his body. He grumbled in a disgruntled tone and clung to Suho’s sleeve.

“Huh? What kind of rule is that? I’ll just practice one more time.”

“Oh, oh! Our youngest is being stubborn. Yul, let’s take our Yejun to the dorm.”

When Taeyi stretched out his hand and pointed at Yejun, shouting, Yul ran toward Yejun. Taeyi and Yul firmly grabbed both of Yejun’s arms, then escorted Yejun to the dorm as if police officers were arresting a criminal.

“Ah, what kind of nonsense is this?”

“Yejun, you. If we don’t stop you, you look like you’ll practice in secret.”

“I just need a little more time.”

“That’s enough. Do the rest tomorrow.”

Led away by his hyungs from the practice room back to the dorm, Yejun took a refreshing shower and then flopped onto his bed. Lying comfortably, Yejun shifted his gaze out the window right next to the bed. The round moon in the black night sky seemed brighter than ever.

“Wooju hyung.”

“Yeah.”

Wooju, who had finished washing up, entered the room, turned off the light, and lay down on his bed, answering Yejun’s call.

“Lately… I don’t think I’ve seen CEO Song.”

“It seems he injured his leg badly and is receiving treatment.”

“Ah… I see.”

“Don’t you worry about that man.”

“…Okay.”

Yejun didn’t bring up the story about Yeongsik after that conversation. Wooju, who had been making occasional small talk, also seemed to have fallen asleep, as the sound of his light, even breathing could be heard. Yejun, too, closed his eyes to try and sleep, but for some reason, sleep wouldn’t come tonight.

“Phew…”

Yejun sat up and went to the window. Then, sitting cross-legged on the bed, he leaned against the window and looked outside.

“The moon is really bright.”

A large full moon was floating in the pitch-black night sky, and bright moonlight poured in through the large window. Yejun stared blankly at the moon, which shone as brightly as midday, and became lost in deep thought.

☂︎

Junhyuk had been running and running for hours. He ran through the city, crossed the splendidly glittering Han River Bridge, and then ran for a long time along the magnificent Han River. He just ran endlessly, wherever his feet took him.

Junhyuk kept running until he was so exhausted that he could no longer lift his legs. Before he knew it, his legs felt as heavy as rocks, and he even felt a stinging pain in his knees. Junhyuk stopped for a moment under a large tree to catch his ragged breath.

“Hah, hah…”

After panting heavily for a long time, Junhyuk looked around. He limped over to a pavilion in the park and lay down, spreading his limbs out.

“What time is it…?”

Junhyuk took his phone out of the zippered pocket of his training suit to check the time and realized it was almost twelve o’clock. When he had started running, it had clearly been broad daylight. But now, the sun had set, and it had become deep night.

“Phew…”

He let out a big sigh, shaking his head from side to side as if to shake off the random thoughts cluttering his mind. Still, he felt a bit better after running. Junhyuk, who had been lying sprawled out on the pavilion for a long time, sat up and looked around.

“Where is this…?”

Junhyuk looked around the somehow familiar surroundings.

“Ah…”

This was a park near Yejun’s dorm. Junhyuk let out a hollow laugh without realizing it and muttered in a small voice.

“I should go back.”

For Yejun’s sake, who suffered whenever he saw him, Junhyuk hadn’t shown himself for months. Today, too, he had intended to turn back for Yejun. However, contrary to his thoughts, Junhyuk’s steps were heading toward Yejun’s dorm.

Junhyuk stopped near Yejun’s dorm and stared at the place for a long time. He didn’t even expect to run into Yejun right now. But just the thought that Yejun might be there made his heart pound like waves. As Junhyuk looked up at the dorm, the bright moon floating in the black night sky also came into his view.

“The moon is really bright tonight.”

It was then. The window slid open with a rattle, and Yejun stuck his head out. For a moment, Junhyuk felt his heart plummet to the floor. He discreetly stepped back into a dark alley. Hiding his body in the black shadows, he looked up blankly at Yejun, bathed in the moonlight.

Junhyuk wanted to run up and embrace Yejun right now, but he could only clench his fists and eventually turn away. It seemed he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep easily tonight either.

☂︎

Sanghyeon stood in front of the large floor-to-ceiling window that took up one wall of his office. He looked as if he were looking down on the splendid night view of Seoul, laid out at his feet. Sanghyeon, who was staring into the distance with a very arrogant face, as if there was nothing in the world to fear, suddenly let out a scoffing laugh as if finding something absurd.

Sanghyeon was currently being considerate of Yejun. After his mother, who had been receiving chemotherapy, suddenly passed away, he had made an extreme choice in despair. Several months had passed since then, and autumn was setting in. Yejun had fully recovered his body and was recently said to be engrossed in practicing for an overseas tour. Yet Sanghyeon was still hesitating to call Yejun in.

Why?

Sanghyeon was currently unable to hold anyone except Yejun. The moment he tried to mix bodies with someone else, Yejun’s face always overlapped with theirs, and he couldn’t even begin to have sex. He needed Yejun.

“Hah…”

Sanghyeon let out a long sigh. The usual Sanghyeon would have forcibly brought Yejun and taken him until his boiling desires were satisfied. The other person’s intentions didn’t matter. Such things could just be resolved with money. But that Sanghyeon was now beginning to consider the other person’s situation. Since his mother had died and he had even made an extreme attempt, not just his body but also his heart needed to recover. Sanghyeon couldn’t understand himself at all.

Why? Why am I being so considerate of that kid?

Sanghyeon took out the chaotically floating thoughts in his mind one by one.

Guilt.

Pity.

Compassion.

Longing.

Love…?

Sanghyeon’s dark pupils trembled minutely. Standing crookedly with his weight on one leg, he momentarily stumbled and supported himself with his hand on the desk. He remained frozen like that for a long time, unable to move.

Haha.

Sanghyeon let out a hollow laugh as if dumbfounded. Sanghyeon, who had been leaning on the desk, straightened his posture and approached the window again.

The confused Sanghyeon shook his head vigorously, and this time, he raised his gaze and looked at the sky. Then, a bright full moon floating in the black sky came into his eyes. He couldn’t take his eyes off the unusually bright moon.

Sanghyeon had no idea how to navigate this unexpected situation. He too began to sort out his confused heart while looking at the moon, which seemed close enough to touch.

The three people all stared endlessly at the unusually bright moon, each lost in their own deep thoughts. And so, like a white night where the sun never sets, they had no choice but to stay up all night.