PA 42

What if there was a confrontation with Junhyuk in Yejun’s hospital room…

Sanghyeon judged that he could get caught up in dirty gossip. Sanghyeon fell deep in thought and, without realizing it, began to tap his index finger on the desk. Tap, tap.

“Phew…”

He tried to throw his life away over something like that?

Sanghyeon couldn’t understand Yejun’s actions at all. Sanghyeon had groveled like a dog to succeed. Still, he had never once thought of death.

Didn’t he gain immense opportunities and money in exchange for giving his body?

For some reason, Sanghyeon was angry. No, it would be more accurate to say he was furious. The thought that he had been completely rejected even after showering Yejun with so much made a corner of his chest feel sore.

“Hah…”

Suddenly, he recalled his own attitude toward Yejun. Since there had never been anyone he wanted to possess no matter what it took, Sanghyeon himself couldn’t quite understand why he had pushed so hard.

“Secretary Song.”

“Yes.”

Secretary Song, who had been carefully observing Sanghyeon’s mood, answered quickly.

“Have someone find out when Junhyuk is away.”

“Yes, I understand.”

This unsettling feeling bothered Sanghyeon, and he was annoyed. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he was being swayed by emotions he couldn’t control. And so, after seeing Yejun one last time, Sanghyeon decided to define the true nature of his feelings.

☂︎

He couldn’t seem to lift his heavy eyelids. But the classical music playing faintly seeped gently into his ears. His consciousness gradually cleared, and Yejun realized he was alive. The life he had regained felt like despair, and as if rejecting reality, Yejun remained motionless for a long time without opening his eyes.

How much time had passed? He realized there was no sign of anyone else in the room besides himself. Only then did Yejun cautiously open his eyes. He laboriously raised his body, which drooped like water-soaked cotton, and looked around.

“Hah…”

Yejun thought the hospital room was far too luxurious for him to be lying in alone, and he let out a long sigh. He slowly placed his feet on the floor. His legs had no strength, and his vision flickered dizzily. Yejun ended up collapsing onto the floor in that instant.

“Ah, ah…”

As Yejun suddenly collapsed, the IV pole, with its many hanging bags, lost its balance and fell. The sound of numerous glass bottles shattering echoed through the room, and the medical staff waiting outside rushed in.

“Patient, are you alright?”

The medical staff helped Yejun, who had collapsed next to the bed, to his feet and quickly removed the needle connected to the IV. Immediately after, Junhyuk rushed into the room.

“Yejun…”

“…”

Yejun deliberately avoided Junhyuk’s sorrowful gaze. The medical staff in the room hesitated because of the awkward atmosphere between the two, and Junhyuk calmly gave them instructions in a low voice.

“Please reconnect the IV.”

“What? Yes.”

However, Yejun irritably lay down on the bed and pulled the covers all the way over his head.

“Um… Sir, if you do this, treatment becomes difficult.”

“…”

The medical staff who approached Yejun spoke to him very cautiously with a troubled expression, but Yejun wouldn’t budge. Junhyuk let out a short sigh and spoke to the medical staff.

“Please give him the IV later. I’ll try to talk to him.”

“Yes, then please calm the patient down.”

Junhyuk nodded, and the medical staff cautiously left the room. Junhyuk watched them blankly and then spoke quietly to the head nurse who was the last to leave.

“Um… please prepare a meal.”

“Of course.”

The head nurse said with a nod. Everyone left, and only Junhyuk and Yejun remained in the hospital room. Junhyuk stared blankly at Yejun, who had the covers pulled up to his head. Yejun seemed to have no intention of getting out of bed.

“Yejun.”

“…”

Junhyuk pulled down the covers and placed a hand on Yejun’s shoulder. He was even thinner than when they first met. Even at Junhyuk’s earnest call, Yejun turned his head away and gave no answer.

“Yejun, the meal will be here soon. Let’s get up.”

Junhyuk grabbed both of Yejun’s shoulders and helped him up. Yejun, sitting on the edge of the bed, looked up at Junhyuk with resentful eyes.

“Why did you save me?”

Yejun’s sharp voice tore at Junhyuk’s heart.

“…I’m sorry.”

Junhyuk answered in a choked voice. Yejun was even more despairing at Junhyuk’s powerless answer, which offered no excuses. Yejun glared at Junhyuk with a resentful face.

“It was my fault.”

Yejun began to sob as he hit Junhyuk’s chest.

“I really, really… resent you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why… why did it have to be me…”

“I’m sorry.”

Yejun buried his face in Junhyuk’s chest to hide his continuously flowing tears. Yejun’s thin shoulders shook endlessly. Yejun was someone whose brightly smiling face was truly beautiful. Junhyuk couldn’t bring himself to embrace Yejun, who was weeping sorrowfully. Taking in the sight of Yejun shedding pitiful tears while held in his arms, he begged for forgiveness for his sins again.

“Don’t… forgive me.”

“Hah…”

Yejun was flustered that his tears, which kept streaming down, wouldn’t stop. It would be better if he could just get furiously angry. Yejun found himself, who couldn’t even get angry at Junhyuk, to be even more pathetic. Yejun raised his head and looked at Junhyuk.

“…”

The image of Junhyuk attending class, bathed in the bright sunlight of the lecture hall, came to mind. At that time, Yejun’s gaze was not on the professor on the podium, but on Junhyuk sitting in front of him.

“Junhyuk.”

“…Yeah.”

Yejun’s words caught in his throat as he tried to speak of parting. Yejun slowly took Junhyuk’s hand. Junhyuk, too, already knew what Yejun was going to say. At that moment, Junhyuk felt as if his heart, which was welling up with emotion, would burst.

“…”

“Say it.”

Hot tears streamed down the cheek of Junhyuk, who was waiting for Yejun’s sentence. Yejun, seeing Junhyuk’s tears for the first time, felt a heart-wrenching pain for a moment.

I’m going to leave you. No, I must leave.

Thick teardrops finally fell from the eyes of Yejun, who was trying to utter words of parting. The resentment in Yejun’s heart that had been directed outward now turned toward himself.

If only… if only I disappeared.

Yejun clenched his teeth and brought out the difficult words.

“Let’s break up.”

“…”

“Don’t look for me anymore.”

On a fresh and bright spring day, Yejun had pushed away the hand of Junhyuk, who had approached him with a smile.

☂︎

Jeonghun desperately tried to stop Wooju and the other Serious members.

“Is this any time for us to be worrying about what other people think?”

“They said Yejun just woke up and he’s okay. So you guys can go a little later…”

“A fellow team member attempted suicide. And you’re telling us to just wait here? Hyung, can you do that?”

“Wooju, listen to me first.”

“Hyung!”

It was rare for Wooju to raise his voice. But he just couldn’t understand the current situation. Wooju couldn’t hold back any longer and ended up shouting at Jeonghun. The members behind them, burning with anxiety, could only stomp their feet in frustration.

“Hey, hey.”

Just then, Yul poked Taeyi in the back.

“What?”

“Let’s grab Jeonghun hyung.”

“…And?”

“So that at least Wooju hyung and Suho hyung can go to Yejun. We can just dash over a little later, can’t we?”

Taeyi, understanding Yul’s proposal, nodded with a grim face. Then he began to count using only his mouth.

Three, two, one, go!

Taeyi and Yul quickly ran, grabbed both of Jeonghun’s arms, dragged him inside the house, laid him on the floor, and pinned him down with their entire bodies.

“Wooju hyung, Suho hyung! Go quickly!”

The two, catching on to Taeyi and Yul’s words, quickly left the dorm and started running like crazy.

“You, you! Taeyi and Yul! Let go of me!”

“We can’t!”

Yul retorted, his eyes blazing.

☂︎

Sanghyeon stopped for a moment in front of Yejun’s hospital room door. He knew he was an unwelcome presence, but he was usually the type to brush such things off as trivial. However, the fact that his steps felt heavy today was likely not just because of his mood. Taking a deep breath, Sanghyeon steeled himself and opened the door.

“Who is it?”

Yejun lifted his head at the sound of the door opening.

“Your body… has your body recovered much?”

“Ah…”

Seeing Sanghyeon, Yejun looked as if he had seen a ghost. Yejun clutched the blanket tightly, his thin shoulders trembling faintly.

“Phew…”

At the sight of Yejun trembling while looking at him, Sanghyeon let out a sigh without realizing it. Sanghyeon slowly approached Yejun and placed a hand on his shoulder. Yejun flinched.

“I won’t touch you.”

The first time they met on the department store rooftop, Yejun’s cheeks were flushed red, perhaps from alcohol. His walk seemed to sway slightly as well. His appearance, flushed from drinking and feeling the breeze as he looked down at the beautiful night view of the city, was utterly fresh and even lovely.