DEARG Ch 6

He opened his eyes. Darkness was all around him. Cold sweat trickled down, and a chill seeped into him. He wrapped the sheet around his body and caught his breath. Only after doing so for a long while could he get out of bed. His head was heavy. He found the pill bottle in the nightstand drawer and swallowed a pill.

As blood slowly began to circulate in his head, his memory returned. He had run into Kang Seokwon in front of the entryway, and after that, he had a seizure. He had somehow managed to open the door, and then…He noticed that his clothes had been changed. He jumped out of bed and went out to the living room.

“Seon…!”

In the space filled with a cold air, no trace of a person’s warmth could be found. Jo Jihyun swallowed a hollow laugh. It was only natural. There was no reason for Kang Seokwon to have waited for him until now.

He sat down on the sofa. He swept his palm over his neck. The ghastly look in Kang Seokwon’s eyes as he choked him came to mind. The man who had kissed him mockingly and kneaded his g**itals was not the person he had known before. It wasn’t that he had changed. That was his true self. He had simply shown the raw cruelty he had not revealed to him.

Jo Jihyun hugged his legs. It was he who had provoked Kang Seokwon’s true nature. Letting go of his hand, turning his back and leaving, in the end, it was all his own choice.

Telling himself it was for everyone’s sake changed nothing. He had merely wrapped his cowardice in a plausible reason. If you peel away the wrapping paper, only a selfish eighteen-year-old boy remains completely.

Have you been well?

What kind of expression did Kang Seokwon have when he asked that?

Jo Jihyun buried his head in his knees. A sharp telephone bell rang, cutting through the silence. He stood up reflexively. Whenever he had a seizure, Kang Seokwon would either watch over him for a while or make a phone call. It couldn’t be him. Of course not. Just by bringing him inside the house, laying him on the bed, and changing his clothes, he had already offered all the kindness he possessed.

With a trembling hand, he picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“I’m sorry for contacting you so late.”

“It’s no trouble.”

As Jo Jihyun took a seat, the woman gave an elegant smile.

“I was in the neighborhood for some business and decided to stop by. I heard you were staying around here.”

Jo Jihyun could well guess where that story had originated. He was already aware of his mother’s ulterior motive in arranging a high-end officetel in a conspicuously expensive neighborhood.

“I’m just staying here for a short while.”

When the waiter approached, Jo Jihyun ordered a cold coffee. Then he turned back to the woman and asked.

“Your tea seems to have gone cold, would you like to order something else?”

“No. It’s alright. I’m going to get up in a little while, anyway.”

Jo Jihyun nodded.

“It’s nothing else, really, I just have something to tell you, Jihyun-ssi.”

Jo Jihyun looked at Lee Seyoung. Her appearance, thoroughly marked by illness, lacked the beauty of someone her age. Her wrists were so slender they looked too frail to even hold the teacup.

“Please, go ahead.”

Jo Jihyun replied calmly.

“I’m going to the United States tomorrow for surgery.”

“…”

“This will be my thirteenth surgery. I was in Japan, but I heard that you had come to Korea, Jihyun-ssi, so I barely managed to make time to come.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I know. I didn’t think you came back to the country because you knew.”

Lee Seyoung continued speaking with a gentle smile.

“You came to that arranged meeting because your parents pushed you into it, didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry.”

Even after hearing Jo Jihyun’s apology, her face was still smiling.

“To be honest, it was the same for me. I was also curious about what kind of person would come to meet a woman who was on the verge of death. Of course, I thought it was some bum after my fortune.”

He couldn’t lift his head. He had heard that his grandmother was critically ill. When he had rushed back to Korea, what awaited him was an arranged meeting with a woman he had never seen or heard of. He immediately booked a flight ticket to go back. His mother’s rebukes rained down on him, asking if he didn’t have the slightest courtesy for the other person. Knowing that a logical conversation with his mother was impossible from the start, Jo Jihyun replied that he would go and meet her. He had planned to meet her face to face and refuse. That was how he met Lee Seyoung.

The only daughter of an immensely wealthy man. A life on a timer, not knowing when she would die from a rare disease. How cruel could a human being become? Jo Jihyun thought that the day he understood his mother would never come, even until the moment he died.

He could not bring himself to be rude to Lee Seyoung, who was smiling at him with a pale face. The next day, he returned directly to the United States. He thought he had fulfilled his duty with that. That was, until he received a message from Lee Seyoung saying she wanted to meet again.

“Before I met you, Jihyun-ssi, I had been on a few arranged dates. They all acted as if they would pluck the stars from the sky if I just said the word. Well, I suppose if they just live with me for a few years, they could really buy a star with all that money.”

Jo Jihyun’s heart ached. She must be feeling her own death more intimately than anyone else.

“I’d never met anyone like you, Jihyun-ssi. You wouldn’t make eye contact, and only answered when asked. At first, I felt a sense of challenge. Then our eyes met…”

The waiter brought the coffee Jo Jihyun had ordered. Jo Jihyun said, “Thank you,” and turned his head. As their eyes met, Lee Seyoung’s eyes curved into a thin smile.

“Somehow, I felt sad.”

“Because of me?”

“No. Me.”

“If I upset you, then I apologize.”

“No, that’s not it. It was more like, ah, what a waste, that I have to die without even getting to seduce such a handsome man.”

He couldn’t laugh along with her joke. Jo Jihyun quietly closed his eyes and then apologized, saying, “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? Are you apologizing for being handsome?”

Lee Seyoung laughed brightly. They had spoken on the phone a few times in the United States. Jo Jihyun had come to like her. It was not a romantic attraction, but a fondness for Lee Seyoung as a person. He respected her composure regarding her life as a whole. However, he knew it would not lead to romantic feelings.

Jo Jihyun bowed his head once more and said, “I’m sorry.” The reason he came to Korea this time was because of Lee Seyoung. He had to meet her in person to refuse. That was the minimum courtesy he could offer. A friend’s wedding also overlapped, so he had planned to stay for about two or three weeks. He also told his mother that he had met her and refused in person. For once, his mother reacted like a normal person, saying she understood. She said she would contact Lee Seyoung’s side and also arrange a place for him to stay.

When he contacted Lee Seyoung after arriving in Korea, she was unavailable. He was only able to hear from her secretary that she had gone to Japan due to an urgent matter.

His mother had probably known that Lee Seyoung was going for surgery.

“Is it a dangerous surgery?”

“What in life isn’t dangerous? That’s how life is. Who knows what will happen to me tomorrow.”

Her gaze lingered on the window. A particularly red moon was caught on the edge of a cloud.

“Did you hear that a large comet is heading toward Earth in a few days?”

She asks while drinking her tea.

“Yes.”

“The news is all about it. They say it will miss the Earth by a very narrow margin. If it were to fall to Earth, they say half of the northern hemisphere would be blown away. It’s a narrow margin. The thing that separates life and death.”

“I see.”

“So I have to believe I can live.”

“Of course you will.”

“Jihyun-ssi, what would you do if the world were to end tomorrow? You don’t seem like the type to plant an apple tree. Have you ever thought about something like that?”

Lee Seyoung asked playfully. Jo Jihyun recalled a sweltering summer day. It felt distant. A thirst of unknown origin arose, and he swallowed some water.

“To Jeju Island…”

Jo Jihyun hesitated before opening his mouth.

“Pardon?”

“I will go to Jeju Island.”

Lee Seyoung’s eyes widened as if in surprise.

“Jeju Island? Does someone you know live there?”

“No.”

“Then why Jeju Island?”

“Because I’ve never been.”

Both of us.

He swallowed those words internally. It was an island he had constantly yearned for, while lying in a cramped room where he couldn’t sleep, as they talked about similar things while watching the rainy sea.

Back then, that place felt the farthest away. He wanted to go far away.

The two of them.

“Sometimes you’re so quirky. I don’t know what you’re thinking. You, Jihyun-ssi.”

“Is that so.”

Recalling a memory of hearing similar words, Jo Jihyun smiled faintly.

“I should get going now. I’m not supposed to be out at this hour.”

“I’m sorry for keeping you out so late because of me.”

“When I come back from America and we meet again, I hope we can see each other in Jeju Island. If you have time, Jihyun-ssi.”

Lee Seyoung held out her hand. Jo Jihyun gently took her hand, which was nothing but skin and bones.

He couldn’t bring himself to say he wouldn’t contact her anymore, not to her who had said the chance of opening her eyes again from the operating table was about 20%.

Which one was more cruel? His mother, desperate to sell off her son to a sick woman, or himself, hiding the truth with ambiguous kindness.

He couldn’t keep meeting someone out of pity forever. If she returns from America, he has to tell her, even if it’s over the phone. Or, he might not be able to, but.

Who knows what will happen to me tomorrow.

Her words echoing in his head left a terribly bitter taste in his mouth.

As he was passing through the lobby, a management staff member at the desk called Jo Jihyun to a stop.

“Excuse me, but are you by any chance the resident of unit 4802?”

“Yes. I am.”

“I went up earlier, but it seemed you weren’t home.”

Jo Jihyun slowly blinked his eyes.

“What was the matter?”

“A friend of yours called. Asked if I could possibly go up and check.”

“Pardon?”

“He just asked me to confirm if you were at home. Haha, he called two more times, so I’ve been waiting.”

Jo Jihyun tilted his head. The only friend who would call at this hour was Kim Seonwoo.

“I understand. I’m sorry to have troubled you.”

Jo Jihyun bowed to the management staff and headed for the elevator. When he pressed the button, the light on the far left elevator lit up. He entered the elevator and pressed the button for the 48th floor. As he watched the numbers change at a rapid speed, Jo Jihyun suddenly bit his lip.

It’s not Kim Seonwoo. He knows his cell phone number; there would be no need, no reason for him to ask for a check on whether he was home.

His vision blurred. Hating each other enough to choke one another, unable to stay by each other’s side, yet unable to forget each other.

Those days that overwhelmed him just by closing his eyes, swelled up in his chest.

“Can’t I buy a cell phone?”

His mother’s gaze, who was in the middle of her meal, instantly turned hostile.

“What are you talking about.”

“Yes. You must be very inconvenienced. You need to contact your friends, too. Dad will look into it.”

“Look into what? What’s there to contact friends about so much? You can make friends when you go to college. You’re a high school sophomore. If you lose your focus and act like the other kids, you’ll be a junior in no time and your grades will drop.”

Jo Jihyun drank some water. He felt he had brought up a needless topic.

“All the other kids have one, it’ll be a bit odd if only Jihyun doesn’t.”

“Then what about you? What gives you the right to talk so much when you can’t even earn the money other husbands bring home?”

“Money will come in soon if the project I’m starting next month goes well. This time it’s for real.”

“Do you know how many years I’ve heard that ‘for real’ of yours!”

Jo Jihyun put down his chopsticks.

“I’ve eaten well.”

“What, there’s more than half a bowl left, why aren’t you eating more.”

His father made a sad face. His mother, as if to punish her son who had defied her will, picked up his rice bowl and side dishes and poured them all into the sink.

“I’ll be going to school now.”

He said his goodbyes and stood up from his seat. He left the entryway as if he were escaping.

On the way to the bus stop, the sunlight was scorching. It was the first day of wearing the summer uniform. They had started wearing summer uniforms about two weeks earlier than the previous year. The news had been chattering on that an unprecedented heatwave would continue.

His calls with Kang Seokwon continued intermittently. On days he woke up from a nightmare, he would invariably call him. Sometimes they would have a conversation, and other days they wouldn’t. There were also times he would fall asleep listening to the sound of breathing over the phone.

They never met separately at school or outside of school. And yet, Kang Seokwon felt like someone he had known for a very long time.

“…”

Jo Jihyun blinked. At first, he thought he had seen wrong. But a physique of that size is not common. The people around him were glancing at him in his school uniform. It was an immense presence. Even though it was a sweltering early summer, the temperature around him alone seemed a few degrees lower.

Their eyes met. Kang Seokwon didn’t acknowledge him in any particular way. He had fallen asleep while talking to him on the phone just yesterday, but he felt strangely unfamiliar. Jo Jihyun slowly walked toward the bus stop.

“Hello.”

He greeted him first. Kang Seokwon gave a slight nod. A notice that the bus would soon arrive appeared on the electronic display. Jo Jihyun hesitated for a moment before speaking again.

“What brings you here?”

The stop where Kang Seokwon got on the bus was three stops before this one. Just then, the bus arrived. Students in the same uniform swarmed toward the front of the bus. Kang Seokwon also started walking.

“Because they said today was the first day for summer uniforms.”

After saying that much, Kang Seokwon got on the bus first. Jo Jihyun, with his bus card in hand, lowered his head. He hadn’t heard the rest, but he could easily guess the words that followed.

It was the first time in the summer uniform. He thought it was a good thing he had ironed his shirt and gone to sleep last night. When he got on the bus, all the seats were taken. Jo Jihyun went to stand near the back door. Kang Seokwon was standing a little distance away.

He took out a vocabulary card from his pocket. With each passing stop, the number of people increased. The bus quickly filled with students in the same uniform. At first, there was a distance of about two steps between them, but with the people cramming in, they were pushed so close that their arms brushed.

stalwart, sturdy; stealthy, surreptitious…

Because it was a short-sleeved shirt, their bare skin touched. He tried not to be conscious of it, but their skin would touch precariously whenever the bus moved. Kang Seokwon’s gaze was fixed on the area around his arm. It was just a change from long sleeves to short sleeves, but he felt stark n**ed. Jo Jihyun did not take his eyes off the vocabulary card.

“…!”

The bus lurched and tilted. The driver cursed and gestured rudely at the car in front.

“Are you okay?”

Kang Seokwon asked. Jo Jihyun righted himself and nodded. The bus started moving again. Despite the steam-like heat, the bus did not turn on the air conditioner. A sour smell of sweat was carried on the lukewarm wind coming through the open windows.

stolid, impassive…stolid, stolid, stolid.

Perhaps because of the heat, his mind felt like it was stuck together. He stared at the same page for a long time. No matter how many times he repeated the same word, it felt as if the stimulus was just circling the periphery of his brain cells, not being memorized. Every nerve in his body was on edge, and cold sweat trickled down.

Beep, an alert sounded and the bus came to a stop. A group of students poured out through the back door. Jo Jihyun also got off the bus as if he were being chased. As soon as he was outside, he let out a breath. Kang Seokwon also got off the bus. His shirt was also soaked with sweat.

“It’s hot.”

“It is.”

That was the only conversation they had on the way from the bus stop to the school. In front of the school steps, Jo Jihyun gave a slight bow of his head.

When he entered the noisy classroom, his heart, which had been pounding loudly, surprisingly calmed down. He sat at his desk and opened the vocabulary card again.

stolid, impassive.

After reading it once with his eyes, he was able to turn to the next page.

When they heard that class would be held on the athletic field today because the gym was under construction, everyone booed in unison. But as soon as they went out onto the field, they all ran around the field as if they had never complained. The gym teacher left a message for the class president to handle things on his own and disappeared in search of a cool air conditioner.

Jo Jihyun found a spot in the shade and sat down. He had no talent for sports, nor did he like them. Just as he was mulling over the regret of not bringing a book, thinking he should have known, a black tracksuit far away caught his eye. He squinted slightly to check the face. It was Kang Seokwon. Because of the gray gym uniforms, his black tracksuit stood out conspicuously. Among the not yet fully formed beings, he looked like he had placed a final, solitary period. With a physique like that, there probably wouldn’t be a school gym uniform in a commercial size that would fit him.

He seemed to have no interest in ball games, as he was sitting alone on a bench. Because they were positioned on opposite ends of the field, Kang Seokwon didn’t seem to have recognized him.

Jo Jihyun quietly observed Kang Seokwon’s actions. It was a strange feeling. It had always been Kang Seokwon who had spotted him and acknowledged him.

What could he be thinking?

“――!”

At the cold sensation that touched his cheek, Jo Jihyun turned his head with a start.

“Joo-ji. What’re you doin’.”

Choi Giyeol was holding a can of soda and joking around. His gang quickly gathered and sat around him.

“Just hanging out.”

“I heard you got first place in the entire school on the last mock exam. You’re getting private tutoring these days, right?”

Choi Giyeol asks with a grin.

“I don’t do that kind of thing.”

“You’re not coming to the academy either. I asked at the front desk and they said you haven’t been registered since last month. Hey, if you have a good tutor, let’s get tutoring together.”

He was about to give a noncommittal answer and get up. Just then, Choi Giyeol held out the soda can to Jo Jihyun.

“Drink it.”

“…”

Of all things.

Ever since the incident with the art teacher, his stomach turned just looking at this soda can.

“I just got it from the machine, so it’s d**n cold.”

Choi Giyeol pressed the can against Jo Jihyun’s cheek. Jo Jihyun shuddered and s**ked in a breath. Choi Giyeol’s expression hardened.

“It’s a joke, just a joke. F**k.”

“I’m heading in first.”

Jo Jihyun stood up from his spot. The people around them snickered, teasing Choi Giyeol, that fucking idiot. Everyone knew that Choi Giyeol was sheepishly following Jo Jihyun around. Choi Giyeol grabbed Jo Jihyun’s shoulder.

“Sit down. You b**t**d.”

“…”

“Is what I’m giving you so dirty? F**k. Are you that high and mighty?”

Choi Giyeol pulled the tab on the soda can he was holding. Then he thrust it in front of Jo Jihyun.

“Drink it. If you leave even a single drop, you’ll get one punch per drop.”

It was coercion. His face showed that he knew he was being unreasonable. Given Choi Giyeol’s pride, he was not about to back down. However, Jo Jihyun was not in a situation to accept it either.

“I’m not feeling well.”

Jo Jihyun’s face turned deathly pale. The smell of the soda brought back the memory of the man’s damp hand sweeping over his body.

“I said drink it!”

Choi Giyeol brought the soda to Jo Jihyun’s mouth. At that moment, a ball that came flying from somewhere hit Choi Giyeol square in the head. Choi Giyeol’s eyes rolled back as he yelled, “Who was that?” Jo Jihyun frowned slightly and wiped the soda that had spilled on his gym uniform.

“F**k, who’s the b**t**d that threw the ball!”

No one answered. The atmosphere was not good. The kids sitting around them all urgently exchanged glances. The moment he saw the person walking slowly toward them, Choi Giyeol hastily shut his mouth. His face turned bright red with anger and shame. No matter how much of a big shot Choi Giyeol was, he couldn’t even breathe in front of Kang Seokwon.

Kang Seokwon silently bent down and picked up the basketball. There were no words like sorry, or it was a mistake. The soda can, gurgling its contents, touched his feet. With a crunching sound, the can was flattened under his foot. Choi Giyeol turned pale as if he himself had been stomped on. Choi Giyeol had certainly felt the warning Kang Seokwon was giving. His crush was shattered before he even realized it.

Jo Jihyun, who was covered in soda, opened his mouth and said, “Sorry.”

“I’m heading in first.”

His head was spinning from the sweet smell. He ran to the water faucet behind the main building. When he turned the spigot, cold water poured out. He wiped the sticky drink off his face. He soaked his nape and hair completely in water. After doing that for a long while, his churning stomach calmed down.

He turned off the faucet. Kang Seokwon was standing there.

When did he get here?

Jo Jihyun blinked. Water clung to his eyebrows and dripped down. Jo Jihyun wiped his face with his palm. But water dripped from his hair as well, and it quickly became w** again.

Kang Seokwon took off the tracksuit top he was wearing. He dried Jo Jihyun’s w** hair and said quietly, “I washed it yesterday.”

Kang Seokwon’s bare torso was visible. Not knowing where to look, Jo Jihyun lowered his head and muttered, “It’s alright.”

“You’ll catch a cold.”

It was a day so hot the asphalt was sizzling and melting. He wanted to say that he wouldn’t catch a cold from something like this. He knew that fact as well. But neither of them mentioned it.

The cicadas, soaked in the heatwave, let out pained screams.

“I’m home.”

The moment he set the umbrella down in the entryway, he felt that something was wrong. A cold, sharp air touched his cheek.

“Jo Jihyun.”

His mother, who was sitting on the sofa, called his name. Jo Jihyun bowed his head and greeted her.

“Did you have a good day at the academy?”

“Yes.”

“And your classes?”

“They were good.”

“Oh, by the way, Sukhyun’s mother called today. She asked if you’re getting any private tutoring, to see if her son could join you. Said she’d give a hefty finder’s fee. It seems she heard a rumor that you got first place in the entire school on the last mock exam.”

His mother smiled. He had heard countless times from his father that in her younger days, taxi drivers would line up in front of their house, offering to give her a free ride to school. A nervous beauty, eroded by time, remained faintly on her face.

“Son of a b**ch.”

He narrowly avoided the glass cup that flew at him. His mother’s eyes rolled back and she lunged at him.

“How do you think I got that money, and where did you spend it! Huh! How dare a little s**t like you lie to your own mother? You dog-like b**t**d.”

Jo Jihyun realized what kind of vile trick Choi Giyeol, whose pride had been crushed by Kang Seokwon, had used. He was struck on the cheek by a wildly swinging hand. His mother began to fly into a rage, looking as if she would foam at the mouth.

“Where did you spend the academy fees! You! Tell me the truth. Where did you spend the academy fees!”

His mother grabbed his clothes and shook him. Jo Jihyun bit his lip and said nothing.

“You won’t talk? You fucking b**t**d. Do you think I carried you for ten months and gave birth to you for this! What have I become because of you!”

The veins on her neck stood out. His mother was a beautiful woman. She loved the son who looked just like her, but she was a woman who believed that the son had s**ked away her beauty, making her ugly. His father, who had rushed in late, held onto his mother.

“Jihyun, hurry up and tell the truth, what are you doing.”

“…I’m sorry.”

If he said he had paid his school tuition with it, she was the type of person who would storm into the school the very next day. He did not want to show such a side of himself. His mother screamed and spewed curses. A b**t**d who wouldn’t be satisfying even if ground up bone and all and fed to a dog, a dirty b**t**d who came out tearing his own mother’s v**ina and now tells lies, a demon-like b**t**d obsessed with money.

“Jo Jihyun! Hurry up and speak.”

His father shouted his son’s name. In the meantime, his mother ran to the kitchen. His body froze when he saw the scissors in her hand.

“I’m going to rip your mouth open with these scissors. I’m going to cut out your lying tongue. Don’t you think I can do it!”

She swung the scissors. His father grabbed her and held her back, but it was by a hair’s breadth. Jo Jihyun looked down with a deathly pale face. Blood dripped from the scissor blades. In his haste, he had grabbed the blades with his hand.

“Let go! I’m going to cut out your tongue. You b**t**d. So you can never lie again, I’m going to cut it all out!”

His mother swung the scissors wildly. He blocked his face with his bleeding palm. The terrifyingly sharp edge grazed his fingers.

“I’ll kill you!”

His mother’s eyes were tinged with madness. His hands and feet trembled with horrifying fear. He couldn’t even remember how he escaped. He pressed the elevator button with a trembling hand. As soon as the door opened, he jumped inside. His mother, who had chased him to the entryway, tried to shove the scissor blades through the gap in the elevator doors. He pressed the close button, taking advantage of the moment his father barely held her back.

He ran outside. The fear that his mother would grab him by the hair at any moment followed closely behind him. When he came to his senses, he realized he had come out without an umbrella and wearing only one shoe. Blood was flowing from his hand. But the pain in his palm was nothing compared to the fear. Jo Jihyun’s body trembled violently. His lips turned pale blue. It was horrific. It felt as if insects were burrowing into and eating his entire body. A passerby hastily turned his head as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have. No one spoke to him, or approached him.

A sharp chill seeped into him, soaked by the rain.

Even if he went to the police station, he would be sent back home. It was something he had experienced several times already. A minor with parents had a clear place to go.

What should I do. What should I…

A public phone came into Jo Jihyun’s sight. He searched his pockets. There was a single one-hundred-won coin. He limped into the phone booth. He picked up the receiver.

Blood dripped and pooled at his feet.

He didn’t want to be seen like this. More than anyone, he did not want him to see him like this. But there was no one else.

Don’t pick up. Please, don’t pick up. Please…please, pick up.

Jo Jihyun prayed as he closed his eyes.

“Jo Jihyun!”

Kang Seokwon threw his umbrella aside and ran over. His face froze in an instant. Jo Jihyun, who had been squatting in the phone booth, lifted his head. His school uniform was covered in blood.

“…I’m sorry.”

Jo Jihyun said in a trembling voice. The end of his words was slurred with tears.

“I’m sorry. Really…I’m sorry….There was no one else…”

“…”

“Because your number is the only one I have memorized…I’m really sorry.”

Jo Jihyun bowed his head and apologized. Kang Seokwon’s lips were firmly shut. He reached out and lifted Jo Jihyun into his arms. Held like a child, Jo Jihyun buried his face in Kang Seokwon’s shoulder and repeated his apologies over and over. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have called, I’m sorry.

“Don’t.”

His voice was terrifyingly subdued. Kang Seokwon tightened his hold on Jo Jihyun and continued.

“You don’t have to apologize to me. Not now, not ever.”

Jo Jihyun bit his lip. His body, being held, felt so warm that he couldn’t hold back his tears.

“It won’t leave a scar.”

Kang Seokwon said as he wrapped the bandage. Fortunately, the wound was not that deep, so it didn’t need stitches, only the trouble of disinfecting it and wrapping it with a bandage. Kang Seokwon brought painkillers and antibiotics and gave them to Jo Jihyun to take. As he had him drink water, Kang Seokwon added another word.

“It’ll be alright when you wake up.”

His words, “it’ll be alright,” had a heavy resonance.

Jo Jihyun quietly nodded. Kang Seokwon soaked a towel in hot water and wiped the blood from Jo Jihyun’s face. He rinsed the towel several times and wiped his toes and hands in turn. He felt completely like a small child. It was care he had never received even from his own mother.

“You can’t shower, so just change your clothes for now.”

Kang Seokwon handed him some clothes. Jo Jihyun went into the bathroom, took off his w** clothes, and changed. The clothes Kang Seokwon had lent him were ridiculously large. Jo Jihyun sat down, clutching his pants.

“I’ll buy you clothes tomorrow.”

“No. It’s alright.”

“The underwear doesn’t fit either.”

Jo Jihyun’s face turned red. The most awkward part was the underwear. The size was so off that it would slide right down if he didn’t hold it. In the end, Jo Jihyun came out without wearing anything under his pants. The underwear was stuffed in his pants pocket. He felt his face flush, as if he had been caught.

“Lie down.”

Kang Seokwon pointed to the bedding he had laid out. Even though he knew there was no other intention in his words, his heart pounded.

Kang Seokwon pulled the sheet up and covered Jo Jihyun. Kang Seokwon lay down on his side next to him.

“I’m sorry.”

At the unexpected words, Jo Jihyun’s eyes widened.

“If I knew you were coming, I would have done the laundry.”

His tension eased at his seemingly embarrassed tone.

“It’s okay.”

Jo Jihyun buried his face halfway in the sheet and replied with a smile. For a moment, Kang Seokwon’s feverish gaze was soaked with heat.

Perhaps because of the antibiotic he had swallowed earlier, Jo Jihyun’s mouth was dry. He lightly bit and released his parched lips.

He heard the sound of Kang Seokwon swallowing. The air in the small room grew taut. Jo Jihyun’s stomach churned. It was not the usual nausea that made him feel like throwing up. His stomach felt ticklish and the tips of his toes tingled, trembling.

“Jihyun.”

“Yes.”

“You should sleep.”

The tone, as if coaxing a child, and his intensely heated gaze created a strange sense of incongruity.

He nodded and closed his eyes. Kang Seokwon’s breathing sounded close. It was like a late-night phone call after a long nightmare.

He fell asleep, leaning on the sound of breathing.

Kang Seokwon, who had left at dawn, returned in the morning.

Kang Seokwon, who had said he would be out for a little while, came back with his hands full of groceries. The bags contained not only cooking ingredients but also underwear, clothes, a toothbrush, and so on.

“Didn’t you spend too much money?”

Jo Jihyun, looking inside the shopping bags, asked with a slight frown.

“It’s not expensive.”

“Sorry…no, thank you.”

It was a problem that could be solved by going home for a little while. But he purposely did not say it out loud.

He contacted his father during the day. When he said he would be staying at a friend’s house for a while, his father gave him permission. He also added that he had already called the school to let them know he wouldn’t be attending today. He did not ask who the friend was, when he would be back, or where the friend lived.

He knew that for his father, his mother was the top priority. His father loved his mother. He could not let go of the woman who spewed curses and insults at him every single day. It was a twisted love, but his father did his best. That was Jo Jihyun’s misfortune.

“Did you contact your home?”

“Yes.”

He doesn’t ask what was said. Kang Seokwon began to put away the groceries he had bought. Jo Jihyun helped him from the side.

The silver lining was that summer vacation would start next week.

“I’m going to make curry.”

Kang Seokwon looks at Jo Jihyun. He is asking if he can eat it, if he likes it. Jo Jihyun nodded.

“Shall I help you?”

“No. You hurt your hand.”

A firm refusal comes back. If the wound got infected, it would be an even bigger nuisance. Jo Jihyun quietly returned to his seat.

The small kitchen felt even more cramped because of Kang Seokwon’s large frame. His cooking was simple and plain. Watching his no-frills movements made his mind feel peaceful. Kang Seokwon set the dinner table in an instant. Jo Jihyun’s eyes widened as he saw the curry with large chunks of vegetables.

“Why?”

“…It looks a little different from the curry I’m used to eating.”

The corners of Kang Seokwon’s eyes loosened.

“That’s the kind you heat up in a microwave.”

“I suppose so. I’ll eat well.”

He took a large spoonful and ate. Only after hearing the words, “It’s delicious,” did Kang Seokwon pick up his spoon.

After finishing dinner, Kang Seokwon took out a radio. The radio, which had been stuck in a corner, could only catch a proper signal after he fiddled with the antenna several times.

For the first time in a long time, Jo Jihyun did nothing but listen to the radio. It felt as if all the nerves in his body were relaxing languidly. He dozed off without realizing it.

Jo Jihyun woke up at the sign of someone trying to go out. As Jo Jihyun sat up, Kang Seokwon turned around from the entryway.

“Are you going out?”

“Going for a walk.”

He looked at the clock. It was three in the morning. Yesterday too, Kang Seokwon had gone out around this time and only returned in the morning.

“Are you going to exercise?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I go with you?”

Kang Seokwon closed his mouth as if he were troubled.

“I’m sorry. It’s just…I can’t sleep.”

Yesterday too, after Kang Seokwon went out, he hadn’t been able to sleep a wink. He thought he was okay, but he wasn’t at all. Just by closing his eyes, it felt as if a cool blade would dig into his flesh.

“Go and exercise.”

Jo Jihyun lay down again. Kang Seokwon opened his mouth and said, “Well then.”

Thud, thud, thud.

The sound of hitting echoed loudly in the empty gym. Kang Seokwon, wearing gloves, was hitting a sandbag. Jo Jihyun, perched on the ringside, silently watched him.

Kang Seokwon’s body was soaked in sweat. Every time he moved, beads of sweat scattered into the air. His dense muscles, trained through exercise, produced explosive power.

Thwump.

With a loud sound, the sandbag swayed. Kang Seokwon grabbed the sandbag to steady it and turned his gaze to Jo Jihyun.

“Are you bored?”

“No.”

Kang Seokwon walked over, wiping his sweat with a towel.

Jo Jihyun thought that if anyone were to face that man in the ring, they would feel an instinctual fear.

“Why.”

Kang Seokwon, feeling his gaze, asked.

“…I was just thinking you’re really big.”

Kang Seokwon says, “I am,” and sits down a good distance away. Before coming here, he had added a condition to Jo Jihyun. It was fine to go to the gym together, but he asked him to stay a little bit away. Jo Jihyun was a little bewildered by the request, for which he couldn’t understand the reason, but he nodded.

“Sunbae, how tall are you?”

“I don’t know exactly.”

He must be over one hundred ninety-five centimeters, he muttered.

“Your parents must be tall.”

“I heard my father was tall.”

It was an answer with many implied meanings.

“Because I’ve never seen his face.”

“Yes.”

He was at a loss for what to say. To offer comfort, Kang Seokwon’s tone was far too dry.

“You don’t need to worry about it.”

He wasn’t a man of many words, but Kang Seokwon uttered clear words at the opportune moment. His personality wasn’t simple, but definite.

Kang Seokwon glanced at the clock on the wall.

“Want to head back?”

It wasn’t, Let’s go back.

“What about you, Sunbae?”

“I’m going to do a little more before I go.”

It was five in the morning.

“You’re not sleeping?”

“…”

Kang Seokwon gently lowered his eyes. Sweat trickled down his eyelashes. He looked down at the floor for a long time. A sudden silence fell. Sweat soaked the floor. On his face, which looked as neat and solid as a stone statue, a flash of bewilderment appeared. It was a bizarre feeling, as if watching an inanimate object come to life.

The events of that night came to Jo Jihyun’s mind. The way he had let out a hot breath, revealing his desire as if collapsing for a moment.

Afraid his thoughts would be discovered, Jo Jihyun quickly averted his eyes.

“I don’t have the confidence.”

A quiet voice revealed his true feelings. He slowly clenched and unclenched his large hand as he continued.

“The confidence, not to touch you while you’re sleeping.”

“…”

“I’m sorry.”

Kang Seokwon clenched his fist tightly. Then he stood up from his spot.

“I’ll take you home.”

Jo Jihyun silently looked up at Kang Seokwon. “I,” he started, biting his lip hard.

“It’s okay.”

“…No.”

Jo Jihyun shook his head. His hands were trembling. The muscles in his stomach tensed, as if all his internal organs were collectively nervous.

“I’m not okay.”

Jo Jihyun lowered his head. All his senses were on fire. The gaze looking at him with bewilderment, the smell of sweat mixed with his body scent, the man holding his breath waiting for his words, everything tangled hotly inside him.

“If you’re not here…if I can’t hear your breathing, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep….I’m sorry.”

He shouldn’t have apologized. A belated regret arose, but he was able to end that thought quickly.

Kang Seokwon pulled Jo Jihyun into an embrace and kissed him roughly.

He heard the sound of the door closing behind him. He couldn’t check. The moment they entered the entryway, Kang Seokwon embraced him as if lunging at him and pressed their bodies together.

Kang Seokwon had not said a word the entire way from the gym to the house. He held Jo Jihyun’s wrist and walked quickly, as if he were angry. By the time the house came into view, he was almost running.

Kang Seokwon s**ked on Jo Jihyun’s lips. It was a desperate gesture, so much so that it was hard to believe he hadn’t touched him on the way here. Jo Jihyun inadvertently placed a hand on the wall and frowned slightly. Kang Seokwon apologized, saying, “Sorry,” and lifted Jo Jihyun’s hand to wrap it around his own neck.

“Stay like this.”

Then he pressed his body tightly against him. The kiss resumed. The kiss they must have shared dozens of times while standing in the gym.

Saliva was exchanged. A pressing craving was felt. It made him feel an ecstasy that was hard to describe with words. His body loosened.

Kang Seokwon wrapped his arms around Jo Jihyun’s waist and inserted his leg between Jo Jihyun’s. A hard thigh touched his c**tch. Jo Jihyun’s body flinched, trembling. A breath escaped from his blocked lips and his body squirmed slightly. Reading the meaning imbued in that trivial gesture, Kang Seokwon pulled his lips away.

“Jihyun.”

It was a low resonance. His heart dropped with a thud. Kang Seokwon’s gaze surveyed him. As if trying to read every emotion on his face, thoroughly.

“If you don’t want this, push me away now.”

“…”

“Because if it’s not now, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop either.”

Jo Jihyun shook his head slightly.

“That’s not it…”

Jo Jihyun’s complexion clouds over. As if about to make a difficult confession, he bites his lip for a long moment before releasing it.

“…It’s my first time.”

Kang Seokwon quietly looks at Jo Jihyun. He is waiting for the next words.

“It’s my first time. Kissing, and with another person like this…ejaculating while not asleep…I’ve never done it.”

A hint of bewilderment flashes across Kang Seokwon’s face. Jo Jihyun’s face flushes red. After a brief silence, the question “Alone, too?” follows. Jo Jihyun, trembling like a rain-soaked bird, nods his head.

He experienced his first w** dream the year he turned fourteen. That strange and shameful sensation was washed away the next day by his mother’s neurotic yelling. Seeing the stained sheet, his mother slapped her son’s cheek without a word. The reason was that it was dirty. The naturally occurring change was blocked in that way. He didn’t use a computer and had no friends to confide in. He didn’t know how to relieve his desires on his own, nor did the thought even occur to him. On nights he couldn’t sleep, as if in a fever, he took a cold shower and read a book. He had forgotten about it like that. No, he believed he had forgotten.

“Why?”

Kang Seokwon asks.

“Because I was scared.”

He cannot forget the way his mother glared at him.

On days he happened to have a w** dream, Jo Jihyun would wash his own underwear. As he rubbed the underwear to remove the stain, he wished for this filth to be washed away quickly. He did not want to feel like he had become a dirty and impure person.

“Are you scared, now too?”

Jo Jihyun, with his mouth closed, shook his head.

He is not afraid of something like that.

It’s just…

His gaze met Kang Seokwon’s. His eyes were feverish. He was feeling to the point of pain what he wanted. After meeting the man, he had awakened the heat he had forgotten about. Heat seeped into every corner of his organs, along the grain of his muscles, into every single strand of hair. His stomach churned at the unfamiliar and strange sensation. It feels like stepping into a well of unknown depth. How far will he fall? He did not want to get entangled in another person’s emotions. Even feelings that poured down like a torrential rain would one day cease. He knew well how desolate the landscape left with only dried-up emotions becomes, having watched his parents his whole life.

Could he breathe again, dried up and twisted?

Kang Seokwon held Jo Jihyun’s cheek. His lips gently touched and pulled away.

“I swear.”

“…”

“I will never leave you alone.”

Kang Seokwon’s lips touch his under-eye, forehead, and cheek in turn. As if engraving his vow onto a sacred host.

Jo Jihyun lifted his head. The man’s cool, sharp eyes are looking at him. A large, fierce beast is offering up its all and waiting. For his answer.

A sharp pain travels through his blood, gathers in his heart, and then spreads throughout his body again. Fragments of emotion that started from Kang Seokwon are embedded in every corner of his body.

“What I said earlier, I think I have to take it back.”

Kang Seokwon’s expression darkens. He slowly pulled his body away. Jo Jihyun muttered with his head bowed.

“…I think I might be a little scared. It’s my first time, so, so…”

He might have added some other words. It’s not certain. His memory became blurry with the storm-like kiss that started again.

“Ah…!”

The sound that escaped was unfamiliar. Jo Jihyun tried to hold back the sound by swallowing his breath, but it wasn’t easy. A large hand was gripping him below, and moving.

A goosebump-inducing, raw, and chilling sensation rose from below.

Kang Seokwon’s hot breath touched his face. His gaze scrutinized Jo Jihyun. He was l**king with his eyes his aroused face, expression, breathing, and movements.

“Sun…bae-nim…ah, wait…”

Jo Jihyun panted with short breaths. To a boy who had not even experienced masturbation, everything was an intense sensation. Kang Seokwon moved his hand as if to teach him one by one.

When Kang Seokwon’s hand first entered his pants, Jo Jihyun had been prepared for it, but his body stiffened. The moment his fingers pushed through his p**ic hair and gripped his g**itals, the heat in his body cooled at the unfamiliar sensation. He must have trembled.

It’s okay.

A quiet voice whispered in his ear. Like that, the heat rose again. No, the expression “rose” was not fitting. The heat soared. At the simple action of gripping his g**itals and lightly rubbing the skin, his vision swam dizzily. When he came to his senses, he realized he was almost collapsed, holding onto Kang Seokwon’s arm.

“Sunbae…nim, ah…ah, strange…”

His body was tingling. His lower body contracted with a shiver and cold sweat broke out. His stomach felt itchy and ticklish. Not knowing what to do, he blinked his eyes rapidly. His eyes met the man’s. Jo Jihyun realized that he was extremely aroused by his own excitement.

Without lifting a finger, he had excited the man.

The moment he recognized that, his vision flared white. A warm sensation soaked him below. A thin sound, “Ah,” burst from Jo Jihyun’s lips. He put strength into his body all the way to the tips of his toes.

Gush, gush, a lukewarm liquid flowed down. His body trembled minutely at the ecstatic feeling of ejaculation. What followed was an instinctual shame.

Even though he had always neglected himself to the limit, his face flushed at the amount of liquid that had trickled down to his ankles. His heart pounded. He couldn’t even distinguish whether he had e**culated or w** himself.

Kang Seokwon’s gaze was on Jo Jihyun’s slender ankle. To be precise, on the milky white liquid flowing down his ankle.

The liquid that soaked his pant cuffs, unable to bear its weight, dripped onto the floor.

At that moment.

He heard the sound of a swallowed breath.

At that sound of swallowing down a murky desire, Jo Jihyun felt the man’s excitement with his whole body.

Kang Seokwon, still holding Jo Jihyun, laid him on the floor. His pants, which were halfway on, were pulled off. The same went for his underwear. Kang Seokwon also tore off the shirt he was wearing. At the man’s large physique revealed in the darkness, Jo Jihyun unknowingly flinched, his shoulders trembling.

“Are you scared, now too?”

Kang Seokwon asks, bending his waist. Jo Jihyun hesitated for a moment before answering honestly, “A little.”

Kang Seokwon took Jo Jihyun’s hand and made him place it on his left chest. His heart was beating like crazy. His excitement and fear were felt in their entirety.

Jo Jihyun slowly lifted his head. Lips touched his eye and pulled away. He could easily guess that it meant not to be afraid of him.

“…If I get used to it…it might be okay.”

At the words he courageously muttered, the man’s eyes softened. He had understood it as permission.

He slowly guided Jo Jihyun’s hand downward. The tip of the man’s p**is touched his fingertips. He flinched but did not pull away.

Slowly, sluggishly.

As if teaching a child, the man held Jo Jihyun’s hand and had him pleasure his flesh. Even though it was a simple motion, the man’s firm face crumbled just from Jo Jihyun’s touch.

Kang Seokwon’s piercing gaze was fixed on Jo Jihyun. Jo Jihyun, not knowing what to do, made a troubled expression. The man’s p**is was precariously brushing against him below. Moreover, it was gradually picking up speed, and Jo Jihyun’s hand movements could not keep up with its motion. Eventually, he felt the illusion that the large piece of flesh, too big to be held with one hand, was violating his own hand.

Kang Seokwon’s face came into view. On his cool and neat face, sweat was beaded. A drop of sweat trickling down his jaw fell, plop, onto Jo Jihyun’s lips . The moment Jo Jihyun l**ked his lips without realizing it,

“…!”

Kang Seokwon’s body came toward Jo Jihyun as if collapsing. Their lower bodies pressed tightly together. Only then did Jo Jihyun realize that he was in the same state as before, no, many times more aroused.

Kang Seokwon’s p**is rubbed against Jo Jihyun’s lower parts. It was hot. His head, his body, even the thoughts in his head were so hot that he did not know what to do. All he could do was let out short breaths and endlessly call Kang Seokwon’s name with trembling lips.

“Sunbae…seon…haah, ah…sunbae, I…ahhh.”

It was Jo Jihyun who reached c**max first. He gasped for breath in the pleasure that soaked him as if every nerve in his body was spasming. Kang Seokwon watched Jo Jihyun and gritted his teeth. More than the physical stimulation, Kang Seokwon was clearly aroused by Jo Jihyun’s excitement.

He let out a beast-like, guttural sound and moved his hips. The piece of flesh rubbed roughly between his thighs, so much that it hurt.

“――!”

Kang Seokwon pulled Jo Jihyun’s body tightly against him. His thighs were w**. He could easily feel that it was not the seminal fluid he had spilled. The experience of his lower body getting w** with another’s desire was a strange sensation that could not be described.

Jo Jihyun slowly blinked his eyes. Blood began to circulate to his head. Kang Seokwon’s face came into view. His eyes, still not free from excitement, were quietly observing him. He was checking if he disliked it, if he was afraid, or if he had any intention of refusing.

Then he raised his hand and rubbed Jo Jihyun’s forehead. He pushed back the hair matted with sweat and kisses Jo Jihyun’s palm.

As if he were immeasurably precious.

Something hot surges up. It was a feeling he had never received from anyone. It wasn’t some childish crush or an ambiguous affection.

Because he has never been cherished, he knows it all the better.

Jo Jihyun met Kang Seokwon’s eyes. A smile faintly appeared around his cool eyes.

A tender emotion, enough to make one’s heart ache, is revealed.

Jo Jihyun reached out his hand. With trembling fingertips, he touched his jaw. The smiling eyes pause. It was the first time. The first time Jo Jihyun had initiated contact.

The man’s face, so firm it looked cold, stiffens completely just from the touch of his hand. His tension is transmitted through the fingertips.

“It’s…alright.”

Jo Jihyun continued.

“It’s alright. With you, Sunbae…it’s okay.”

He is pulled into an embrace so tight it feels like he might crumble. Kang Seokwon’s breath touches his ear. It sounds like a vow. That he would never leave him alone.

A kiss that felt like it would never end began.

Sensation returned before consciousness. Something warm and soft was wiping his body. He realized much later that it was a towel soaked in hot water.

His consciousness flickered in and out at the boundary of the surface, but it felt good so he left it as it was. A warm towel wrapped around his foot. It wipes even the spaces between his toes.

At the ticklish feeling, Jo Jihyun slowly opened his eyes.

“Sorry. Did you wake up?”

Kang Seokwon placed the towel down beside him. Then he covered his body with the sheet. Only then did Jo Jihyun realize he was n**ed, without a single thread on. He quickly grabbed the edge of the sheet with his hand and asked.

“What time is it?”

“One o’clock.”

It was dark outside the window. Jo Jihyun fumbled through the fragmented memories in his mind. His face turned red.

Literally all day, they had only done that. When he lost consciousness and opened his eyes, Kang Seokwon would kiss him again and press their bodies together. Without eating or sleeping, he took only Jo Jihyun. They had spent a whole day like that.

Kang Seokwon hugged him from behind, sheet and all. Jo Jihyun flinched and curled up his body without realizing it.

“Sorry.”

Kang Seokwon swallowed a silence and continued.

“I thought I had to endure it.”

Even after ejaculating several times, Kang Seokwon would pounce on him like an animal in heat the moment their eyes met. Jo Jihyun learned for the first time that a human body could expel so much s**en. Later, he even had the strange experience of reaching c**max even when there was nothing left to come out. In the end, only after Jo Jihyun cried and said he absolutely couldn’t do it anymore, did Kang Seokwon stop the act.

Kang Seokwon’s forehead touched his shoulder. He heard a quiet murmur, “I’m sorry.” Jo Jihyun quietly nodded his head. The grip on the sheet he was clutching tightened.

He could hear Kang Seokwon’s heartbeat behind his back. Neat and regular.

Suddenly, he thought of a metronome.

He had learned to play the piano for a short time when he was young. He liked the monotonous sound of the metronome more than the sound made when he struck the keys.

Jo Jihyun closed his eyes. Drowsily, sleep seeped in between his eyelids.

He could hear the sound of rain from beyond the window. He was captivated by the smell of water that seemed to come from a distant place.

Should I go back?

No, I still have to say hello.

What should I say first? He probably won’t be too happy to see me.

…Should I go back?

After lingering in front of the shop for about ten minutes, Jo Jihyun took a deep breath. Having made up his mind, he entered the pizza shop.

“Welcome.”

A young-looking part-timer stood up from his seat and greeted him.

“Um…”

Jo Jihyun glanced around the inside of the shop. It was a small shop where even the inside of the kitchen was clearly visible. Kang Seokwon was nowhere to be seen.

“Are you ordering a pizza? If you order now, it’ll take about thirty minutes.”

The part-timer answered in a laid-back manner.

“I have something to ask.”

“Huh? What is it?”

“By any chance, is there someone named Kang Seokwon here?”

How long has it been since he had said his name out loud?

“Kang Seokwon? Uh, who’s that?”

The part-timer tilts his head and mutters.

“He’s tall and…”

As he added the short description, the part-timer says, “Ah,” and nods his head.

“That scary-looking hyung? Is that hyung’s name Kang Seokwon?”

“Yes.”

Even as he answered, Jo Jihyun was puzzled.

He was not a man with a faint enough impression to not remember his name.

“Why are you looking for that hyung?”

The part-timer looks Jo Jihyun up and down, revealing his blatant curiosity.

“He’s an acquaintance, I was wondering if I could contact him.”

“An acquaintance, but you don’t have his contact information?”

The snickering laughter was unpleasant.

“If you don’t know, then never mind.”

As Jo Jihyun bowed his head and was about to leave the shop, the part-timer calls out, “Hey.” He jotted something down on a piece of paper and held it out.

“The number.”

“…What number?”

“That hyung’s cell phone number. It should be correct.”

Jo Jihyun bowed his head slightly and accepted the paper.

And the moment he checked the numbers written on the paper with his eyes, he froze on the spot.

‘But that hyung doesn’t work here. I heard he’s an acquaintance of the owner and was just helping out for a few days. For some reason, he said he wasn’t coming in yesterday. He had a really murderous look on his face. But how do you know him? Are you really friends? What should I tell the owner when he comes?’

A buzzing sound has been ringing in his ears since a while ago. While waiting for the elevator after pressing the button, he checked the number written on the paper again. Eleven digits.

“…”

As if to criticize his own selfishness, there was not a single discrepancy with the number in his memory. He felt as if he had been doused in dirty water.

The taste in his mouth is terribly bitter. In the end, is everything my fault?

Jo Jihyun dropped his head. Unpleasant memories surfaced, and his stomach churned. He couldn’t get on the elevator and ran to the restroom in the lobby.