DEARG Ch 13

“Don’t worry about it.”

Kang Seokwon said in a tone that suggested it was no big deal.

Choosing a movie, looking up a restaurant to eat at, even figuring out the bus and subway routes to get there—that whole process was enjoyable, Kang Seokwon had said.

“……Later.”

Jo Jihyun said in a small voice.

Let’s get a meal together sometime.

It was a phrase as common as a stone rolling on the street. A phrase that everyone broke countless times and thought nothing of. Let’s get a meal sometime. It was the kind of thing one would toss out like a polite greeting and forget as soon as they turned their back.

“Okay.”

At that one word, the man replies, suppressing a proud joy as if he has the whole world. The trivial things that I failed to see the first time, now they come into view more clearly.

Kang Seokwon’s expressions, his smiles, his emotions.

“See you later.”

Kang Seokwon said so and left the convenience store.

“Over here, over here.”

Choi Giyeol, having recognized Jo Jihyun, waves his hand.

“How do you not have a cell phone? If the meeting spot changed, I wouldn’t have been able to find you.”

He grumbles while looking Jo Jihyun up and down. It was the first time they had met in casual clothes.

“Choi Giyeol. The girls are here. They’re asking us to come pick them up?”

“Who do they think they are, for us to go pick them up? Tell them to come on their own.”

Choi Giyeol glances at Jo Jihyun.

“What do you want to eat? What should we get for lunch?”

“Anything.”

“What do you like?”

“Choi Giyeol. The girls are here.”

A group of female students in flashy outfits walked toward them.

“What’s this? Why are your manners so bad? We were looking for a long time.”

“We told you exit 2, why couldn’t you find it? Can’t you read numbers?”

“The exits here are complicated, it’s hard.”

Pouting with a hint of flirtation, one female student glances at Jo Jihyun.

“Who’s he? I haven’t seen him before?”

“He’s in our class. Jo Jihyun.”

“Jihyun? Her name is Jihyun too.”

A female student with long, straight hair said “Hi,” and greeted him warmly. Jo Jihyun also said “Hi,” and returned the greeting.

“So does this mean the two Jihyuns should get along well?”

“What kind of nonsense is that.”

Choi Giyeol snapped as soon as he heard it.

“Why? Did you have a thing for Jihyun?”

The female student who had spoken first giggled and teased Choi Giyeol.

“You don’t know which Jihyun, though.”

Park Dongchul from the same class grinned and teased Choi Giyeol.

“Shut up, you bastard. Anyway, what do you guys want to eat?”

“What are you buying?”

“Pick anything you want to eat.”

At Choi Giyeol’s words, the female students’ faces lit up. Choi Giyeol glanced at Jo Jihyun again.

“You don’t have anything you want to eat?”

“Yeah. Not really.”

If things had gone as planned, he would be at the movie theater with Kang Seokwon right now.

“They say there’s a delicious pasta place near here. It shows up a lot on blogs as a great restaurant. It’s a bit expensive, is that okay?”

“How much could it be?”

Choi Giyeol walked a few steps before looking back at Jo Jihyun.

“Do you even eat pasta?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s go there.”

“So Choi Giyeol, do you live there? Isn’t that apartment complex super expensive?”

“Am I rich? My father is the one who’s rich.”

“Look at that bastard showing off.”

Everyone was fully aware of who was paying for everything today.

“Why did that friend come out today?”

Lee Yoonhee, the most flashily dressed one, said, pointing at Jo Jihyun.

“Why? Is he not allowed to come?”

Choi Giyeol retorted on his behalf.

“No, it’s just that he looks like he’s in a bad mood. Maybe he doesn’t want to be with us?”

Jo Jihyun, who was eating his salad, replied, “That’s not it.”

“He’s always quiet. He barely talks at school either.”

“Really?”

“He’s first place in our entire school. His national ranking is almost within the top 100. He’s really fucking good at studying.”

Choi Giyeol boasted about Jo Jihyun, puffing out his chest as if it were his own accomplishment.

“Wow. I like guys who are good at studying. What did you say your name was?”

“Jo Jihyun.”

“Your voice and vibe are very calm. What are your hobbies?”

Jo Jihyun, looking a little flustered, mumbled and couldn’t answer.

“His hobby is probably studying too.”

“He does nothing but study all day.”

The guys from his class snickered and chimed in. Jo Jihyun’s face turned a little red. He had nothing to say in his defense. There wasn’t anything he could really call a hobby.

“Look at his face turning red. It’s so cute.”

“Lee Yoonhee, are you interested in him?”

“Can’t I be?”

Lee Yoonhee switched seats and sat next to Jo Jihyun.

“Put your phone number in for me.”

“Sorry. I don’t have a phone.”

“What? Hey, that’s too much. If you don’t want to, just say so.”

As Lee Yoonhee frowned slightly and grumbled, Choi Giyeol helped Jo Jihyun out, saying, “He really doesn’t have one.”

“Really? Why? Oh my god. This is the first time I’ve seen someone without a phone these days. He must be a really pure guy. Isn’t he what they call a mosol [someone who’s never been in a relationship]?”

The female students burst out laughing among themselves, kareureu. Jo Jihyun gave a vague smile and stirred his salad with his fork.

“Have you ever dated anyone?”

“Me?”

Jo Jihyun blinked.

“I’m asking if you’ve ever liked someone or been in a relationship.”

Kang Seokwon came to mind.

Even in the previous world, he was the only one with whom he’d had a relationship.

“……, no.”

Even after answering, he felt a bitter taste. He realized once again that he would have to spend all his future time denying his relationship with him.

“Then what’s your ideal type? Do you have one?”

The girls treated the prettier-than-them Jo Jihyun with a curious attitude, as if handling a toy. Choi Giyeol drank cold water and glanced at Jo Jihyun as if waiting for an answer. Jo Jihyun thought for a moment before answering.

“A kind, person.”

Hearing Jo Jihyun’s answer, Lee Yoonhee let out a laugh, “What’s that?”

“You like anyone as long as they’re kind? I’m kind.”

“Me too, me too.”

The female students giggled among themselves for a while before the topic quickly changed. Jo Jihyun swallowed a sigh.

He really didn’t know what he was doing. Jo Jihyun drank some water and looked at his watch. The movie would have been over by now.

“Do you have plans?”

Choi Giyeol asks. Jo Jihyun’s eyes flickered upward slightly.

“It’s just that you keep looking at your watch. Are you supposed to meet someone?”

“No.”

“You’re bored, aren’t you?”

Choi Giyeol asked, subtly lowering his voice. Jo Jihyun gave a vague smile and silently drank his water. Would doing this really change anything?

After finishing their meal, they all agreed to go to a karaoke bar.

“I’m going to head out first.”

When Jo Jihyun stood up and told Choi Giyeol, he frowned and asked, “Why?”

“I’m not feeling well.”

“Why are you always sick at the drop of a hat? That’s why you need to eat properly. Earlier, you barely pecked at the greens like a bird. I even brought you to an expensive place, what a waste of money.”

Jo Jihyun stared blankly at Choi Giyeol. If the event cannot be changed, can the person not be changed?

“Why, why. Is there something on my face?”

Choi Giyeol stammered, rubbing his reddened face with his palm.

“Choi Giyeol, you……”

Just as Jo Jihyun opened his mouth to speak, Lee Yoonhee, who was walking ahead, spun around and inserted herself between the two.

“What’s this? Why are you two talking by yourselves? You don’t actually like that other Jihyun, you like the Jihyun right here, don’t you?”

At Lee Yoonhee’s teasing, Choi Giyeol’s face hardened as he said, “Are you crazy?”

“Like I’d be crazy enough to like a guy.”

“Fine if you’re not. Why are you getting so angry? Jihyun-ah, let’s go to karaoke together.”

She grabs Jo Jihyun’s arm and pulls him into a hug. Since he was wearing a thin knit shirt, her chest area touched his arm. Jo Jihyun tried to pull his arm away as discreetly as possible so as not to embarrass her. But the more he tried, the more persistently Lee Yoonhee clung to his arm. Their eyes met.

She’s doing this on purpose.

Jo Jihyun swallowed a sigh.

“I’m going to head out from here. You all have fun.”

“Why? Let’s go together. Huh? We decided to go to Yoonjung’s place after karaoke. Yoonjung said her parents won’t be home today.”

“I……”

Jo Jihyun suddenly felt a gaze. Amidst the vast crowd, a towering figure was looking at him. Several men who looked like his gym colleagues were standing around him. They were all well-built, but Kang Seokwon stood out among them.

“Oh, I know that person.”

Lee Yoonhee recognizes the man far away at a glance and continues.

“My uncle was a national boxing champion. Nowadays, whenever he watches TV, he only talks about that person. Ah, I really don’t know why I have to do something like boxing. Isn’t it too barbaric?”

She tugs hard on Jo Jihyun’s arm as if seeking his agreement. Jo Jihyun, who had barely understood her words, asked back, “Huh?”

“But isn’t he from the same school as you guys? I think I heard that.”

“That’s right. He goes to our school.”

Another guy cut in.

“Then ask him to hang out with us. That guy’s a celebrity. He was on the newspaper and the news.”

“Are you crazy? How can you talk to Kang Seokwon?”

“Why? Are you scared?”

“Are you kidding? Just look at him. You can’t even make eye contact with……, heok [gasp].”

Kang Seokwon approached. The girls, faced with the celebrity from the news and newspapers, exchanged glances and whispered amongst themselves.

“Going to your academy?”

It was unexpected. He didn’t think Kang Seokwon would talk to him. He thought he would just watch from a distance and go on his way.

“You said you had a supplementary class at the academy.”

“……”

Only then did Jo Jihyun remember that Kang Seokwon was a born fighter. He never backed down, no matter the situation. He was a man who possessed a violent and persistent side behind his gentle and kind appearance.

“Do you know him?”

Lee Yoonhee asked insistently, holding Jo Jihyun’s hand tightly. Kang Seokwon’s eyes narrowed for a moment.

“How tall are you? You’re so tall. I saw you on the news the other day. The sports news.”

She said, subtly smiling with her eyes. Women know instinctively. Which male is the most superior among the pack. As a man, Kang Seokwon was overwhelming. Even Choi Giyeol, who had been acting like a king all day, didn’t dare to even lift his head in front of Kang Seokwon.

“We’re going to a karaoke bar, would you like to come with……”

Jo Jihyun pulled his hand away from Lee Yoonhee’s. So coldly that it would embarrass the other person.

“He’s not someone I know well.”

“What?”

“I’m leaving first.”

Jo Jihyun bowed his head curtly and left the spot. Thankfully, neither Kang Seokwon nor Choi Giyeol stopped him.

He had said something rude. He must have been angry. I need to apologize, but……. I don’t feel good. A hot emotion welled up from within his stomach. His stomach churned as if he were seasick. He could not deny the identity of the emotion he was feeling. He was envious. He was jealously acting unbecomingly toward a woman.

Jo Jihyun wiped his face with his palm.

In order to change the big picture, the first person who needed to change was not Choi Giyeol, but himself.

“Wel……, come in.”

The end of the sentence was almost mumbled inside his mouth. Kang Seokwon comes to the counter with a bottle of water. Jo Jihyun couldn’t even make eye contact. After he finished paying, Kang Seokwon says while twisting the cap off the water bottle.

“You finish at 10, right?”

“Pardon?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

He left just those words and went outside. There were still 15 minutes left until his shift ended. While settling the cash register with the night-shift part-timer, he miscounted the money several times and got scolded. After settling all the cash, Jo Jihyun went into the storage room and changed his clothes. 10:10. He had made Kang Seokwon wait outside for 25 minutes. He was scared. He didn’t want to face an angry Kang Seokwon.

When he opened the door and went outside, Kang Seokwon, who had been sitting at a table, slowly rises to his feet. He’s big. The feeling is always the same whenever I see him.

“Let’s go.”

Jo Jihyun walked next to him, maintaining a distance of one step back. He didn’t open his mouth until they were out of the residential area. The longer the silence stretched, the more his anxiety grew.

“Should we go this way?”

Kang Seokwon points to a path leading to a park. The park at midnight was desolate enough to be eerie. Jo Jihyun slowly followed him.

He had helped him twice. It wasn’t right to embarrass him like that in front of people. Jo Jihyun clenched and unclenched his fists. He has to apologize.

“Do you know my name?”

“Pardon?”

It was an unexpected question. Jo Jihyun, unable to grasp his intention, blinked a couple of times.

“My name.”

“I know it.”

Kang Seokwon replies, “Okay.” Then, he continues in a calm tone.

“I do sports.”

“……, I know that too.”

Lately, articles about Kang Seokwon had been appearing frequently in the newspapers. With urban legends and sports news combined, there wasn’t a single person at school who didn’t know Kang Seokwon’s name.

“My blood type is O.”

“……Yes.”

The conversation drifted in an even more unpredictable direction.

“I don’t have parents.”

This time, he couldn’t say he knew. Jo Jihyun just nodded quietly.

“I don’t have any siblings. And, ……”

Kang Seokwon lightly bites his lip and lets go.

“What else do I have to tell you.”

“Pardon?”

“To become someone you know, what else do I have to tell you?”

His chest throbbed with pain.

How he calls his name, how he smiles when he’s in a good mood. He knows it all. The man’s large hand that soothes his anxiety, the taste of his lips that are softer than they look, the feel of his firm, broad shoulders.

All the aspects of Kang Seokwon he knew were private.

“I’m sorry for being rude.”

Jo Jihyun bowed his head and apologized. “It’s fine,” Kang Seokwon replied shortly. He raised his head. Their gazes meet. He never knew before that a person’s eyes could hold so many emotions.

The wind blew. A soft spring breeze wavered through the distance between the two and passed by. Jo Jihyun narrowed his eyes and swept back his disheveled hair. Kang Seokwon is still staring at him as if nailed to the spot. His gaze made all the nerves in his body feel as if they were pressed down by a pin, unable to move.

Heat rises wherever his gaze moves. It blooms flowers. Every time he blinks his eyes, the flowers come into full bloom.

“I’m going to America tomorrow. For a practice match. I’ll be back on Saturday.”

He called it a practice match, but I know it’s an extremely important one.

“This.”

Kang Seokwon takes a twice-folded piece of paper out of his pocket. I took the paper. The moment I saw the number written on it, something hot surged up my throat.

The events become a jumbled mess and the timeline gets distorted.

But there are things that are whole, without any lack.

“If anything happens, call me.”

It’s a number I’ve memorized from looking at it hundreds, thousands of times. Whenever I woke up from a nightmare, I would call him out of habit. We would exchange trivial words. There were also days when we listened to each other’s breathing all night without a single word.

All of it was a comfort to me. Kang Seokwon’s existence is, as before, wholly precious.

My vision blurs. It is a time that will never come again, no, a time I should not have.

“Why.”

Kang Seokwon asks, noticing something is wrong. He was a quick-witted person. Jo Jihyun blinked a couple of times and answered, “It’s nothing.”

“Are you going through something difficult?”

“…….”

“I’ll, help you.”

I want to hold onto him. I’m scared. Even now, every day when I open my eyes, I’m confused, wondering if this is a dream, if I’ve gone mad. The most frightening thing is returning to that previous time. To that time when I ruined Kang Seokwon’s future, when I would be abandoned by him.

“Jo Jihyun.”

There is a special resonance in his voice when he calls my name. Jo Jihyun liked that low resonance more than words could say.

He took one step, forward. He was at a distance where I could reach him if I extended my hand.

“Lift your head.”

His kindness always tore at my weakness. It makes me want to be childishly demanding and seek comfort.

Kang Seokwon reached out his hand and gripped my chin. I don’t want to meet his gaze. I feel like I might confess everything. My mouth goes dry.

“Is that you, Jihyun?”

I swear, my mother’s voice has never sounded so welcome as it did just now.

“Is that really Jihyun?”

Kang Seokwon’s hand withdraws. Jo Jihyun answered, “Yes,” and turned around. His mother, recognizing her son, approached. When she spotted Kang Seokwon, she immediately sized him up with wary eyes.

“Who is this?”

“He’s a sunbae-nim from school.”

“Is that so?”

“Goodbye.”

Jo Jihyun bowed his head to Kang Seokwon, left the park, and started walking. His mother followed behind her son.

“Are you close? If he’s a sunbae, he must be a third-year, right? Is he good at his studies?”

“I don’t know him well.”

“You don’t know him well, but you came here together?”

“We just met in front here and exchanged a brief greeting.”

She narrows her eyes, “Hmm.” The elevator arrived.

“Oh, right. You remember Mrs. Sookhyun, don’t you?”

There’s no way he wouldn’t remember. Every other day, she would prattle on, comparing Choi Giyeol and her own son.

“Yes. I remember.”

“Sookhyun said she misses our Jihyun so much and insisted that we visit. It’s because she heard that our son, who didn’t even do anything special, ranked 28th in the nation on the last mock exam. Who wouldn’t be like that? Keep this Saturday free. Your father decided to go too.”

“I have a lot to study on Saturday.”

“It’s okay to rest for one day. This is all for your own good.”

“I’m fine, so you two can go without me.”

I know how this ends. I wanted to avoid it, no matter what.

The elevator doors opened. The moment he stepped into the house, a stark white hand with prominent bones grabbed Jo Jihyun’s hair.

“Say that again.”

She screamed, her eyes blazing blue with rage.

“I said, say that again! If I say let’s go, you go. Who the hell do you think you are to ignore your mother!”

She swung whatever she could get her hands on at her son. A broom, a shoehorn, a picture frame. After pouring out her anger as she pleased, she changes her voice as if nothing had happened.

“You’re going, right?”

“…….”

“Mom, too, has something she wants to brag about to a friend. What am I lacking compared to her that I have to live like this. It’s so tiresome. I want to die.”

The conclusion is self-pity. Jo Jihyun muttered weakly, “I understand.”

“Wash up and go study.”

Jo Jihyun entered his room. The moment he put down his bag, his legs gave out and he collapsed on the spot. He suffocated with the fear that his mother might come in right now and plunge something sharp into his neck.

It’s okay. Jihyun-ah.

He searches his memory, recalling his comfort.

It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.

The trembling in his hands gradually subsided. He took out the paper he had put in his uniform pocket. Eleven numbers. Below them, instructions on how to make an international collect call were briefly written.

Things are changing, little by little.

Jo Jihyun clutched the paper and buried his head in his knees.

Jihyun-ah.

He opened his lips as if responding to the man’s call. He bent down and kissed him. The kiss, which had been soft, soon deepened. The man’s hands roamed over his body. A flush of heat followed his touch. I want to be closer to him, even just a little. I want to feel him. He wraps his arms around the man’s broad back. His ragged breath touched his neck. His whole body, down to his toes, tingled. Jo Jihyun called him, “sunbae-nim,” and tightened his grip. At that moment, someone opens the door and steps inside. Dirty beasts, guys messing with each other. A woman holding a sharp blade rushes at them. His vision is stained with crimson blood.

“――!”

He gasped for breath and looked around. He fumbled for the sheets. Only after confirming that nothing was in his grasp did he let out a breath. His whole body was covered in a cold sweat. A chill seeped in. His body trembled uncontrollably as if he’d been doused with ice water in the dead of winter. His fingertips had no strength. His breathing grew ragged, as if someone were strangling him. Geometric patterns flashed on and off in his blackened vision. Jo Jihyun clutched the sheets and let out choked gasps, keok, keok. His head was spinning. He couldn’t tell where this place was. He crawled off the bed and managed to get the phone. He has to call him. He had to know if Kang Seokwon was safe, if he was properly protecting his own life. He wanted to receive confirmation of his well-being.

He pressed the call button. The dial tone sounded, ttuu. He just needed to press the numbers to hear Kang Seokwon’s voice. He could be comforted by him. And he would ruin him.

Jo Jihyun pressed the power button again. The surroundings are dark. It is a steep cliff where one misstep would cause him to plunge to the bottom. He put the phone back and sat on the edge of the bed. He took out the paper Kang Seokwon had given him from his uniform pocket.

If anything happens, call me.

Jo Jihyun lay down on the bed, still clutching the paper. He pictured the man who would be across the sea.

It was a night where sleep would not come easily.

“So you’re Jihyun. You look just like your mother when she was young, how can it be? You’re so pretty.”

“Hello.”

“Yes. I heard you’re in the same class as our Giyeol. He was changing his clothes since this morning, why hasn’t he come down? Giyeol-ah.”

The sound of stomping feet was heard from upstairs. Choi Giyeol, upon spotting Jo Jihyun, blushed and chided his mother, “Don’t say such useless things.”

“You are as beautiful as I’ve heard.”

Lee Sookhyun’s husband said, complimenting Jo Jihyun’s mother.

“You’re too kind.”

That morning, the woman had pulled out every single piece of clothing from her closet, tried them on, and burst into tears. She had sobbed, saying she had grown so old compared to before and all her clothes were shabby. Only after hearing her husband say, “No matter what you wear, you’re the prettiest in the world,” did the woman pull out the most recently bought outfit to wear.

“Oh, my goodness. Please, come in.”

Lee Sookhyun guided the people to the dining table.

During the meal, Jo Jihyun moved his chopsticks in silence.

“Is the food not to Jihyun’s taste?”

“He always eats just a little. Like a bird pecking at its feed,” Choi Giyeol answered with a giggle.

“Not at all. It’s delicious.”

“He’s not only pretty, but his voice is pretty too. And I heard he’s so good at studying? To be ranked in the top 100 in the nation. Our Giyeol says he’s always so diligent at school too.”

“When did I say that?”

Choi Giyeol jumped up and grumbled.

“You said that George only gets first place. By the way, is your nickname George? That’s so cute.”

Lee Sookhyun’s voice is gentle. Her words carry no sinister intent or thorns. It’s a way of speaking that reveals the life of a woman who has lived a wealthy and loved life.

“Don’t call him that. He hates it.”

“Are you Jihyun’s spokesperson?”

“Ah, what’s with you again.”

As Choi Giyeol grumbled, Lee Sookhyun playfully rolled her eyes. After the meal, the adults sipped wine and exchanged various stories.

“Thank you for the meal.”

When Jo Jihyun gave his farewell, Lee Sookhyun smiled with her eyes.

“Shouldn’t he have been born a daughter instead of a son? You gave birth to such a pretty son. Go upstairs and play with Giyeol. I’ll send up some fruit in a little while.”

“It’s alright. I was just……”

His mother’s eyes shot up fiercely. Before leaving the house today, she had warned her son of the same thing several times. Don’t you dare embarrass me. You know what that means, right? If you embarrass me, I won’t let you get away with it.

“Let’s go up.”

Choi Giyeol gestures with his head. His mother pushed her son’s back. Forcing down the urge to bolt from his seat and run away, he went up the stairs.

“This is my room. That’s the TV room, and that’s the study.”

Choi Giyeol guides him to various places on the second floor and looks back at Jo Jihyun shyly.

“Want to read a book?”

“No, it’s okay.”

“Is there any fruit you want to eat?”

“No.”

Choi Giyeol frowned in annoyance.

“Why are you always……”

“Choi Giyeol.”

When Jo Jihyun called his name, Choi Giyeol answered “Yeah,” with the feverish expression of a boy in a dream.

“I have something to say.”

Choi Giyeol swallowed dryly.

“What is it? Should we go into my room?”

“No. I’ll say it here.”

He wanted to refuse being alone with him in an enclosed space.

“I know you have a hot temper.”

“What?”

“But your true nature isn’t bad, right?”

A supportive family, wealth, both parents intact. He lacked nothing. That is why he acts with the arrogance of someone who believes he can have everything.

“So, whatever happens, I hope you don’t do anything you’ll regret later.”

Jo Jihyun looked straight into Choi Giyeol’s eyes and continued.

“Because if you act on impulse, you’ll end up suffering yourself.”

Choi Giyeol ended up transferring schools because of that incident. He had heard that he had a very hard time because of the sudden transfer in the middle of the semester. So you have to forgive him. His mother had said so in the most benevolent voice in the world. Around that time, Choi Giyeol’s father and his father had gone into business together.

“People’s feelings change anyway. After time passes, it’s nothing. It’s like a fever you suffer from for a while.”

He had suffered from that fever his entire life. There are also people who live with the wounds left by the illness never healing. Choi Giyeol was not one of them.

“What on earth are you talking about.”

“I’m telling you to get your act together and study hard. And don’t do useless things.”

At Jo Jihyun’s words, Choi Giyeol let out a “Ha,” with a look of dismay.

“Then I’ll be going now. I have an appointment.”

“Hey! Jo Jihyun!”

Jo Jihyun went straight down the stairs. The gazes of the adults, who were in the middle of a cheerful conversation, all turned to him at once.

“I will be taking my leave now.”

“Jihyun-ah!”

His mother’s shrill voice stabbed into his back, but Jo Jihyun did not look back and left the house. He walked out the front door.

Nothing happened. Choi Giyeol did not spew vulgar words at him, nor did he attempt any dirty acts. The mealtime simply passed by normally.

His pace gradually quickened. Eventually, he was running, panting for breath. His steps got tangled and he fell a few times, but he didn’t stop and kept running.

When he came to his senses, he was in front of Kang Seokwon’s gym. It’s the same as that time. No, it’s different. It will be different. It can be different.

Jo Jihyun braced himself and looked up at the gym’s sign. The sound of mitts being struck echoed, teong teong. Kang Seokwon is coming back from America today. While he was in America, he hadn’t called even once.

There was only one reason he endured the terrifying loneliness alone, even on nights when he woke up struggling in a nightmare.

Jo Jihyun put his hand in his pocket. The paper Kang Seokwon gave him brushed against his fingertips. He will have the brilliant future that was promised to him.

He just needs to change things, little by little.

Jo Jihyun looked up at the gym one more time, then turned on his heel. As he was going down the hill, he ran into a group of men coming up toward him from below. The man who spotted Jo Jihyun stops in his tracks. His eyes flickered upward slightly. Bewilderment and gladness mixed at the unexpected meeting.

He asked the gym director for his understanding and approached Jo Jihyun.

It’s been a week. There have been many times when he hasn’t seen him for longer than that. But, strangely, he felt extremely happy to see him. It’s a longing created by physical distance.

“Hello.”

Jo Jihyun said, forcing a semblance of composure.

“It’s been a while.”

“Yes. ……What brings you here?”

He deliberately pretended not to know and started a conversation.

“I go to the gym up there.”

Kang Seokwon points to the building over the hill.

“I had some business nearby.”

“I see,” Kang Seokwon replies. He feels a gaze scanning him from head to toe. It searches for any changes that might have occurred during that short period of one week. A tender concern is embedded in it.

The folded paper touched his fingertips in his pocket.

I can do it.

Jo Jihyun looked up at Kang Seokwon.

“Have you eaten?”

Kang Seokwon slowly blinks his eyes as if he’s received an unexpected question, then tilts his head.

“A meal, can we have one today?”

Kang Seokwon thinks for a moment, then says, “Just a moment,” and runs back to his group. When he says something, the director raises his voice, “What?”

“We’re having a team dinner for the first time in a while, where do you think you’re going?”

Kang Seokwon doesn’t answer, just bows his head curtly, and comes back to Jo Jihyun.

“Let’s go.”

“Hey! Kang Seokwon, you bastard!”

The director called him in an angry voice. Kang Seokwon grabbed Jo Jihyun’s wrist and started running. When they reached a deserted alleyway, Kang Seokwon let go of his hand. He gasped for breath.

“……Are you alright?”

Jo Jihyun asked, also breathing heavily.

“No. Not at all.”

Kang Seokwon added in a loosely smiling tone.

I’ll probably be dead tomorrow.

At the lighthearted joke, so unlike him, Jo Jihyun let out a small laugh. Sweat trickled down his forehead. Jo Jihyun wiped the sweat with the back of his hand and lifted his head.

Kang Seokwon is looking at him. With eyes from which the laughter has evaporated. Utterly serious. He feels suffocated by the unfathomable, deep emotion.

“Is there anything you want to eat?”

Jo Jihyun deliberately turned his head and asked.

“Anything.”

“There’s no food called ‘anything’.”

He returned the exact joke Kang Seokwon had made before. He laughed out loud. It was the first time he had heard him laugh like that. The evening air trembled lightly.

Searching his memory, he chose one of the restaurants he had been to with Kang Seokwon. Kang Seokwon’s expression stiffens for a moment when he sees the ramen.

“This should suit your taste. It’s mild, so……”

He stopped mid-sentence. He is supposed to be someone who doesn’t yet know enough about Kang Seokwon to know his preferences.

“How did you know.”

Kang Seokwon asks. He never let a single word pass by without notice.

“Since you do sports, you shouldn’t eat too salty, right? Things like instant food are also bad for your body. I thought you’d have to manage yourself better than ordinary people.”

Kang Seokwon stares at Jo Jihyun for a moment, then swallows a chuckle, pik.

“Why are you doing that?”

“It’s the first time I’ve seen you talk so much.”

He was embarrassed, feeling like his nervousness had been read. Jo Jihyun picked up his chopsticks and silently stirred the noodles. They both ate without much conversation. It was strange. He had eaten with him many times before, but he was as nervous as if it were the first time. Jo Jihyun failed several times trying to pick up a piece of pickled radish. Kang Seokwon picked up a piece of pickled radish for him and placed it in Jo Jihyun’s bowl.